EPISODE FIVEI’ve honestly never seen a bigger bunch of Survivor losers
ever.
It’s only five weeks into what’s supposed to be the most thrilling game in the history of the world and already two of them have wimped out on us to go home. Exactly how much more of this disappointment are we expected to take over the next nine weeks??
The way the show babied Sanele and forced him to go to the doctor was soo pathetic I couldn’t cope. It took away all his self-determination and choice and undermined every aspect of what the show and challenge of it is about.
Since the beginning of time Survivor’s been about facing the toughest times you possibly can and battling with your decisions about how to solve crises and Sanele wasn’t given the opportunity to do any of that.
It was frustratingly annoying seeing him zapped by outside forces in one easy moment like that and if I were him I would have been fuming to be told a doctor thought he knew better than me under such circumstances.
It’s also hardly as if his having a shoulder that wasn’t working has been the be-all and end-all of things - since the pain set in Aguila have done perfectly fine without him putting strain on it. If he wanted to go he would have said so himself. It was rubbish and I was very iffy about it right up until he made himself slightly useful by terrorizing Rana when he saved Danielle to take his place.
The fact that the person who needs the biggest slap out of them all has managed to get a second chance was purfect. Rana deserve it big time - Gareth’s right about what fury-less, apathetic lumps they are.
From the moment the episode started they were digging their graves as they all mooned around flashing their cracks while having lazy, indecisive conversations whereas Aguila were madly catching fish and angrily ranting about each other and Nico’s cigarettes.
What I want to know with this is: if you didn’t read the news before the show about Nico having smuggled cigarettes onto the island how would you have known what was going on or felt part of it? There was no explanation as to how he got them nor why he’s been allowed to smoke when nobody else has and suddenly it was a crucial part of the story.
Where were the scenes with him smuggling them in at the beginning and obsessively drying them out after they got wet and why weren’t we included in the skullduggery of seeing Brigitte hiding them? I can’t believe we haven’t seen a smidgen of a hint of what’s really been going down up until now.
At least the way Brigitte told us about what she’d been up to was sneaky and - as much as it annoys me to say it - I’m developing quite a liking for her. Her not mentioning Sam since he left impresses me a lot as does the neutrality she’s managed to establish with everyone except Nico, who doesn’t count.
This is how the episode started - with Rana doing nothing and Aguila talking about the Nico-smoking story while Mzi invented fish hooks. Everyone was then called to their Reward Challenge where their maths was shown up by the Survivor Africa contestants in the most humdinging ways.
In case you haven’t managed to catch any of Survivor Africa, they did this same number crunching challenge in the first or second week and the winning tribe won it within moments of the first round.
As Gareth started the challenge for Rana and Mzi started for Aguila I thought they’d at least get it by the second or third person and guffawed more and more the longer they took. Eventually Voinessa won it for Aguila and the Nando’s prize they tucked into was the best reward of the series by far. As yet they haven’t won anything exciting and I could just imagine how fab that table of goodies must have tasted espesh ‘cos I was starving at the time of watching.
While Aguila guzzled their chicken Rana were almost as pleased with themselves as them as they trudged back to their camp saying the reward didn’t matter and that no one was to blame for their loss.
They also had to sort out their bed which has turned into the type of burrowing crab-hell you only see in teen horror fliks. There has to be dryer land for them to move so they're away from the water and yet they refuse which can only because they're too lazy to rebuild their camp from the beginning.
While they came up with loser justifications Mark arrived at Aguila to tell them Sanele had to see the doctor as if he was about to die and Sanele went off with him with a weepy spark in his eye. In addition to the ridiculous way it was done the other sucky thing is that Sanele seemed set to be one the most endearing and competitive characters and now there’s a big muscular chasm where he should be.
Not that it’s gonna make a diffs to whether or not Aguila win though - Rana are so weak that any two members of Aguila could whip them even if they were outnumbered 2 to 4.
As for the amount of time they all took to decide on who would do what at the graveyard Immunity Challenge - puhlease. Did you hear how they were all getting so picky about who would go into them and how long they would stay? Worst of them was Zayn choosing to lounge out.
At the start of the episode he was going on about how threatened he was feeling and then he chose to sit out in the very challenge he could have proved himself in. He would have been a much better contender to do the heavy job of digging than Lezel and yet he chose relax and then still had the cheek to try to convince them that the game was neck-and-neck after they’d been annihilated.
He seemed too sure of his safety so I’m thinking that there were more hidden conversations we didn’t see about who’d be voted out and that it was basically a done deal between them that Danielle would be the target to usurp Jacinda’s power.
Not that we know who actually voted for who because of them refusing to show the votes at the end so we had to guess, which is just too wrong to even go into. At least they’ve changed the advertising and stopped it interrupting the challenges. How cool is it that they have? It’s way better the way it is making it really feel as if they’re putting our entertainment and fun first.
It must have been Jacinda and Danielle who voted for Zayn and then Lezel, Zayn and the Good Doctor must have voted against Danielle, which means Gareth’s broken his hyprocratic oath to her and she’s still there. Hoveringly knowing whose lied and loathes her most.
She defs won’t be an avid scrutinizer of his pecks on his fan site created by Archers Aqua will she? Hehe. I’m looking verry forward to seeing what truth and lies she tells Aguila and how they respond to her and also what they do with her in relation to Nico.
Will tribal alliances carry through or will her joining them destroy them? Judging from Nico in the trailer fI predict the latter and that it’s gonna result in everyone’s ultimate downfall. If Danielle lasts long enough to hook up with Jacinda again in the merge, guarenteed they’re gonna be the new Amber and Rob.
PS: The trailer from last week! It gave the idea that they were gonna get communications from home. Did it just not happen or were they tricking us into thinking the Sanele thing was a message from their family’s?