EPISODE TEN:That was the most consistently hysterical episode across all seasons of Survivor. I laughed my way through the entire thing, espesh during every moment of Bruce's poo trauma.
Not because I've been so irritated by him recently and wanted to see him suffer but rather 'cos trying to imagine his pain by being right there with him instead of chuckling away would have been much too much to cope with.
It was really a crap thing to happen to him and delivered waay more information than I needed to know. I very seldom get embarassed but knowing that zillions of people across the world knew every detail about my lack of ablutions would
so have been the worst part of it for me.
The tummy-churning anguish that would eventually take Bruce out of the game began shortly after the episode started when he complained about feeling terrible as a result of not having gone to the loo for days.
Just prior to this Terry took stock of his solo fate, Shane and Danielle kissed and gloated about Casaya sticking together for so long and Courtney and Danielle bitched at each other across the fire.
The constipated mood was broken by the arrival of Voodoo dolls which everyone had to tranform into likenesses of themselves. Cirie's doll ended up being the most bombly by far - those boobs she put into that yellow top thing were too much and strongly lit the spark for how she shone through the course of the episode. She's always been brilliant but this week she outdid herself and had me in stitches with every word she uttered.
Nothing could have been more suited to her than the excellently cringeworthy and perfectly stabby Reward Challenge that involved them naming and shaming each other.
It was a pure masterstroke on the part of Jeff to make the game about who they thought everyone had judged a certain way instead of who they themselves had issues with. It gave it such an added trippy dimension that inspired the slurpy juice that flowed.
Through it Cirie proved that she doesn't just have a strong grasp of people and what they're like but that's she's also very self aware. I lurved how honest and unfazed she was when she named herself at the end and also how it sealed her win.
If Courtney was prepared to be a bit more honest with herself she'd have come out of it all much less wounded than she did. For a moment she was going to - when she almost answered herself for the question: "Who most easily succumbs to intimidation," but she chose to target someone else instead and ultimately deserved everything she got.
It was verry satisfying seeing her suffering being named the Pig one question after another and as much as I didn't enjoy it, I fully agreed with what Shane said about her taking things too personally and being too sensitive.
What he said about her being a dream to take to the final two because of being a lunatic was very funny too but I couldn't stand how he responded to Cirie choosing Danielle and Aras to go on the reward. Both before they left and when they got back.
If I were Cirie I would have chosen him and said it was because he came third in the challenge but I would only have done it to keep the peace and get him off my back. The fact that she didn't was much braver and resulted in her having a better time too. The last thing you want when you're being mauled by such a fab mud massage is the pressure of Shane all over of you.
As for the three of them gossiping about Courtney having a crush on him - that Gollum body of his is so seedy I actually wouldn't put it past her. Also, I could imagine her tantrically enjoying the way he puts her down all the time.
She wouldn't allow him to talk to her the way she does if she isn't enjoying some aspect of it.
Thinking about it now - the fact that Bruce got left behind with her and him could have been what took his system completely over the edge. Can you imagine the hell of feeling the way he did and then being carted off to the sight of Shane's skinny private's dangling to the side of your stretcher?
When Cirie, Aras and Danielle returned to the insanity in the morning they described what they found perfectly. Shane has descended into being pure beast and more and more there's the sense that being around him isn't safe. I was wondering last week - what do you think he did to his wife or whoever his son's mom is?
The status he gave Cirie when she got back was interesting didn't you think? One moment he was badmouthing her and making those pathetic threats to Aras but then the next he was cuddled up to Cirie desperate to know that she was still on his side.
Everyone cleaning up the zen garden for Bruce was quite sweet, as were their responses to him being gone. As desperate as they all are to win I reckon they were all were genuinely sorry about his fate and the fact that he hadn't been master of his own destiny.
This turn in events is of course a bonus for Terry who didn't need to kill himself to try to stay another three days. Instead he's had peace and quiet and extra military training. Who the stuff in their right minds does that is what I want to know. It's incredible that he'd go off to that island and spend all his time stretching and getting more fit.
His face when Casaya has moments of collapsing is classic. It's amazing how much of an outsider he is to them when the situation's simply all make believe.
The heat really is on now - it's gonna be intriguing seeing whether the alliance holds firm next week or whether they're gonna betray each other to give him the break he's been waiting for.