Candice Woodcock (hee hee. Yes, I am giggling at her surname. No, I am not twelve years old as far as I know. Yes, I do have the emotional maturity of Beavis and Butthead) is a pre-med student and an overachiever. She was class president, captain of her soccer and cross country teams and scored perfectly on the maths section of her SATs. She won full scholarships to a couple of fancy-schmancy universities and received her Bachelor of Science degree.
Argh! She’s the same age as me at the time of the bio being written which makes me feel like a slow child who eats my own belly button lint in comparison. Damn her!
Before anyone allows themselves to feel warm, envious hatred for her, I should mention that’s she’s all charitable and do-gooder. Survivor Africa inspired her to do service work in Africa instead of just screaming obscenities at Lex like the rest of us. She taught Kenyan schoolchildren and ran her own clinic. She later became a fundraising director at some student non-profit organisation studied health care in Peru and Chile, and worked at a cancer clinic and a free Latino clinic.
Well, aren’t you just Mother freakin’ Teresa, Candice? Great, now I feel like a lint-eating slow child with a blackened soul.
All of this can only mean one thing. Candice is secretly evil. No-one can be that flippen’ perfect and not hide some deep, dark secret. If anyone starts skinning monkeys on the island for their own sadistic pleasure, it’s definitely her.
Crap, her favourites seem designed to make me like her despite her dark soul. She likes a whole bunch of awesome movies, To Kill A Mockingbird, is a Survivor fan and the kick is that she has Super Mario Bros as one of her favourite games. She’s clearly the devil.