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Mother hen motormouth

Written by Segololo from the blog Little Miracles on 27 Aug 2007
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A colleague of mine recently had a baby and I turned into one of my worst nightmares, a know-it-all motormouth. I knew it all from ceaserean birth to putting baby to sleep! I felt so ashamed of myself each time I would start but could not help myself, I had to share.

When my boy was born I was determined to do things my way. He is my child and I will do it my way… Reason for this weird selfish decision was I had been scared to birth by all the mothers who just had to tell me – they had to advice and horrify me on the pains and joys of giving birth, the sleepless nights, the cracked boobs and every little thing they could tell. I also vowed to be never like those people. But from the moment my colleague mentioned his wife being peggies; I had to advice on all the stages of pregnancy; what to look out for, what to horrify themselves with and what he needs to do. Poor dude sat patiently thru this monologues and never said a word.


When the baby was born; I was still blabbing away on how to ensure best breastfeeding, how to soothe cracked nipples, how to deal with colic and what to drink to help milk production. I knew it all. I realize now that he avoids being a meter from me because I ask about fatherhood and carry on for life! Sad and tragic!  

My little miracles blog is dedicated to Motherhood and wonders of children – I will write my experiences and my advice for those who need it on this blog. I will vow to not be so willing to dish out advice to all those people I talk to but will blog t he advise I would have given. BUT from my recent experience - I will probably break this vow!

For those who have children; what irritated you about people that already had children when you were pregnant and after the birth of your child? What did you find was a blatant lie or helpful advice? 

For those who do not have children; what would you like to know; what would be beneficial information and what don't you want to know?



16 Comments

Username
27 Aug 2007 05:37

It happens with every new mother wanting to do it their way without any help. But it’s acceptable that old mothers kind of help new mothers by offering advice. My friend also had the idea of “my child my way” but ten seconds after arriving home from the hospital the baby had other ideas she ended up moving back home for six months with her mother helping her out. The elders know best. You just have to know your limits and not overstep the boundaries.

spice
27 Aug 2007 05:48

Dear Doctor

I have been trying to get pregnant for the past year without any results, this is affecting my marriage  please help


From Anonymous

monchooza
27 Aug 2007 05:54

spice have sex and lots of it without a condom and pls make sure ukuthi you and your partener are sickfree first

Segololo
27 Aug 2007 06:00

spice: take your man on a holiday to warmbath; soak in the belabela waters and forget about a baby. In the evening take your man for a walk on the busiest tourist attraction street and have a curry meal at the local restuarant. Wnen you get back to your room; blindfold your man, tie him to the bead and do as you please with him - no penetration, no sex that nite. the next morning bath together - take your time to put clothes on - make him want you but resist. Take another walk in the local tourist park; and keep suggestively touching him in ways that send a message to his manhood- by the time you get to your room, wou will fall pregnant.

Dr M.H. Motormouth phd in Knows-nothing-at-all-just-watches-a-lot-of Oprah-and-Dr-Phil. Qualified in Dr Phil Quotes!

Lungz@
27 Aug 2007 06:19

Hi guys, just found out that I'm pregnant. Can advice on how to control the cramps I get every now and then

Segololo
27 Aug 2007 06:28

Lungza@: Congratulations! your life will never be the same!

Okay, the cramps I never had but I advise you to go see your gynae for him to guide u on this one... We might mislead you with our unqualified advice.

My advice on the survival guide is my next article but for now - Get yourself a subscription of fit pregnancy magazine; that is a must!

MamaOmpha
27 Aug 2007 07:03

The one think I found to be a lie  when I was preggers was "DO NOT HAVE SEX AFTER YOUR SIXTH MONTH" because:
-you will harm you child
-its culturally wrong
-your child will come out covered in sperms blah blah blah
I had sex on a Saturday Morning and I had my son on Sunday afternoon.  There was nothing wrong with him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The other thing is when to start  feeding your child solid food.  I was breatfeeding my child for the first 10 days of his life and after that my child would'nt stop crying even after feeding.  I was so sleep deprived.  I called my grandmother to tell her and she told me to start feeding him small amounts of  soft porridge. Because Im a "new millenium" I bought i nestum and I gave him about three spoons a day and I gradually increased the portions as he got older. He just became this happy baby.  To think we were told to start feeding him solid food after six months, I wouldn't have survived!!!!!!!!!!!!!

KeleFabulous
27 Aug 2007 07:44

i hated it when people would pat my stomach...even complete strangers! for goodness' sake pregnant women don't have a PLS DO PAT sign on their stomachs!

i heard so much advice i don't even remember what or from whom. luckily my pregnancy was a breeze (except i was in an accident at about 22 weeks - what a  scare i had then!) i didn't have that much morning sickness, i think i only threw up about once or twice...only had a bit of nauesea and heartburn. thank Gaad i didn't have the typicals - nose blowing up, big lips etc etc. every1 thot i was having a girlbecause of that...but i find there's alot of htings women don't share with each other, the not so nice little topics all mothers go thru...y is this? it would make life so much easier!

Mihle!!!
28 Aug 2007 03:19

well hello ladies I feel I'm in the pampers website..anyway my pregnancy was a breeze no morning sick or any weird cravings I just put on a lot of weight still struggling to lose it my LO is 11 months now still 23kg's to lose gaad how stressful it is...funny enuff when I gained weight during pregnancy boyfriend also did because he had all the cravings ate verry weird stuff...

KeleFabulous
28 Aug 2007 03:41

bf carried the extra weight too? good for you Kardashian! 23k's?! iyho that's alot sana. and how much have u lost? i gained about 13 during my pregnancy and i'd say about 40% of it only during the last 5/6 weeks. i think i've still got probably about 4/5 of it to shed. i wouldn't know the exact no as i threw away the scale, it was too depressing! i suggest all women who've had babies do that!

Mathaz
28 Aug 2007 04:25

owethu260
28 Aug 2007 04:27

hi ladies, i had my baby last December & luck enough it took me like 4 months to shed off my preggies weight, i only gained about 10kilos. i was lucky in that sense thank God,,, 

what i found as a blatant lie when i was pregnant is that i must not eat oranges my baby will ijaundice, i mean really i was always craving for the orange...
now that she is here i hate when people want to kiss on the lips,,, I HATE IT SIES...

Mathaz
28 Aug 2007 04:28

I have been married for a year and 2 months now but i am so scared of falling pregnant and i find myself trying to convince my husband that life is so much better with the two of us ONLY.  I dont even have dreams of my falling preggies.  Is it wrong for me not to wnat to have kids someday?

Segololo
28 Aug 2007 17:05

Mathaz: Have a long discussion with hubby about this. He may not understand where you come from with this feeling but get him to understand. If you don't, he will feel betrayed that you never said anything before he wanted to reproduce...

I would also suggest you try to find out why you strongly beleive in the 2 of u only being happy... Why you really dont want children? Speak to professionals so that it is also easier to explain to hubby when you have the talk.  

One of my best friends feels the same way you do and he explained valid reasons to me so I kinda get where you are coming from with this but you need to know the real reasons for yourself for not wanting children

Good luck!

Toxic
29 Aug 2007 01:14

Yho Segololo, i'm feeling a connection to your and your thoughts....was thinking abt babies this morning!! 

what irritated you about people that already had children when you were pregnant and after the birth of your child? What did you find was a blatant lie or helpful advice?
BEFORE: Questions like" Is the baby kicking?" Don't drink this, stay away from that blah blah blah
AFTER: Give the baby water to alleviate her hiccups---when she was hiccuping in ma belly throughout my pregnancy, smearing haarlemensis on her head and below her foot etc, how to burp her and putting her to sleep..i blv'd in the "tummy to play and back to sleep" teachings but each time I put her to sleep on her back, I'd have to fight people wanting to place her on her side on tummy!
HELPFUL: going natural : rescue remedy adn homeopathic treatments. THAT was the best advice I got!! Other than that I just followed my instincts and I believe that a mother can tell just by looking at her baby's eyes what needs to meet.

Gr8 blog and I completely get the need to dispense advice on new mothers-to-be...i'm guilty of that as well, I even go as far as giving them the material I read when I was pregnant! 

i hated it when people would pat my stomach...even complete strangers! for goodness' sake pregnant women don't have a PLS DO PAT sign on their stomachs! 

LMAO KFab----forgot abt this and it's true. I found that white women were more guilty of doing this than black mamas.

mina-moo
29 Aug 2007 03:34

Kardashian: I feel u sista gal, i had mine in Jan and I gained a whooping 32 kg's! i've lost about 15 and have 17 more to loose. Damn it's so hard. I was swollen all over( hands, face and my feet where like tree trunks)I had High BP in the last 2 mnths. It was hell! But the end results(my baby gal) are great. 
I found that everyone around me was terating me like a queen!.


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