On Sunday night lawyer/PR Bertha Sakeyo was shown the door of the Big Brother house after every country - except Zimbabwe - Sms'ed her out of the show.
I chatted to her for us the morning after her eviction to snoop out if she'd answer any questions or try to slither out of them. Here's what she had to say:
*Big Brother camera snakily zooms in:*
Tashi: What’s your take on being voted out by every country except your own?
Bertha: At least my country’s for me (laughs). Well that’s the way the cookie crumbles. I would have been more emotional about it if Zim was against me but it wasn’t and well, this is a game.
Tashi: Why do you think it was such a uninamous vote?
Bertha: Not having really watched anything, just sort of snippets when I came out, I know there were a lot of negative SMS’s, a lot of people felt I’d flipped, I was two people - I guess people like continuity of some sort and they felt - or their perceptions were - that that wasn’t there and they voted along those lines.
Tashi: Yes I’ve been asked to ask you about this specifically - do you have split personalities?
Bertha: Well I’m a Gemini (laughs). I think there’s a split personality in all of us. I think the situation on the ground is very different from maybe the viewers point of view. When you’re outside and you’re having a bad day you can retreat to isolation and have your pity party and then come out and everything’s happy days but when you’re in a situation where you’ve got no privacy, your alter ego’s play out in front of camera’s 24/7 and it’s very different.
Tashi: So you
do have a split personality?
Bertha: I wouldn’t say that, no (laughs). I just think that it’s not an easy situation to be in and you can never forecast or predict how things are going go to.
Tashi: You’ve been described as being a snake in the house. Would you have felt the same way if you’d been watching the show instead of being in it?
Bertha: From a viewers point of view it’s very different. Yes as a viewer you do have that third eye - you’re privy to every conversation - but the dynamics on the ground are extremely different. You’re not privy to all conversations - you have your imagination and those around to feed that imagination so I can’t say whether I would have felt I was a snake as a viewer because in my mind’s eye I wasn’t that.
You live a day at a time, literally - it was my first reality show and it was such a learning curve for me. I believe I made mistakes and there were things I did well, all in all I’m a stronger person for it.
Tashi: What do you think about being described as a snake?
Bertha: A snake as in sneaky?
Tashi: Yes a combo of being sneaky, untrustworthy, and also poisonously ready to attack. People felt that there were moments, - when you and Lerato were together in particular - where you bullied the other housemates.
Bertha: That week - which was very emotional - a lot of things played out. When you don’t have an alternative outlet, where you have to face conflict head on - you’re not always rational because it’s not a normal situation. Part of your gets exposed whereas you’d usually have it under control. Yes I believe I could have handled that situation better, more rationally, and that didn’t happen.
Tashi: Why didn’t you try to bridge the gap between the two groups in the house?
Bertha: I think in a game like this it’s either/or – you can’t be on both sides. You gravititate to the people you have the most in common with. It’s strange how things pan out, how you start fighting each others battles and that’s how it panned it. I did try to be the bridge initially, I took on a very conciliatory role but there comes a point where you literally have to choose which side you’re on.
Tashi: What about Ofunneka who hasn’t?
Bertha: Well we don’t know that she hasn’t. I think when Ofunneka came in, she said from the start she has a strategy and she’s playing a game. Maybe she just has that sort of personality that she hasn’t been able to choose sides bu there was definitely a divide, clearly marked boundaries – so I wouldn’t say she hasn’t.
Tashi: So she’s on Richard and Tatiana’s side?
Bertha: Most definitely - that was most evident in terms of the divisions of the rooms.
Tashi: What about bridging the divide purely for strategic purposes? For the last couple of weeks you were on the minority side - did you not think: let me get buddy-buddy with the bigger crowd so that they don’t vote me out?
Bertha: No because I think it became a matter of - I affiliated with these people because I’d formed proper relationships and friendships with people and not for strategy and that’s something I wasn’t going to compromise on.
Tashi: You said you made mistakes - what would you say your biggest one was?
Bertha: I think I could have managed my temper more, I really believe that. There were times that I was very emotional and I could have handled my temper more. I believe that as a leader, when I was head of house I could have handled that better – and not try to come against my fellow team members in terms of Max’s leadership etc.
Tashi: Is that something that you struggle with generally?
Bertha: As I said, on the outside there are ways to vent - I find writing very therapeutic and we had no writing materials whatsoever so one of my mantra’s wasn’t there. You can’t run away, you can’t take a drive, you can’t go and have a cup of tea somewhere far away from your contenders – the conflict’s right there staring you in the face and you can’t run away and the walls close in.
Tashi: What would you say your most successful thing was?
Bertha: Mmm … Groovy Mama.
Tashi: Talking about that performance, you did a lot of looking at the cameras - were you acting?
Bertha: Definitely, I enjoyed the role immensely - it was something I really looked forward to, I love dressing up, I believe I’m an old soul who’s been born in the wrong era. I thoroughly enjoyed doing it, even in my Diary sessions I stayed in character and he mentioned that at the end of the task so it was defintely a highlight for me.
Tashi: At other times you also looked at the camera lot - there were moments where you’d sneak peeks.
Bertha: I think we were very aware, all of us, more than maybe the other Big Brother shows have been. We were constantly aware of the cameras – what changed was that we learnt to live with them. Initially we were very conscious that there was someone watching all the time and there many cameras in the house so a peek was inevitable.
Tashi: So where there moments when you were acting?
Bertha: In terms of Groovy Mama or in general?
Tashi: In general.
Bertha: Yes definitely, I think there were moments when you’d put on a show for TV sake I guess.
Tashi: Tell us a moment it happened.
Bertha: I think there was a time when I had an exchange with Richard and I was very aware of the cameras. I can’t pinpoint specific times because it would happen every so often and I believe everyone went through that.
Tashi: What impact did it have on you knowing everything was being broadcast? Did it tone you down? Did you big it up?
Berha: I actually toned it down - knowing they were there made me regain control in what could have been a very volatile situation.
Tashi: The thing that’s fried my brain through it all is that Lerato’s the only one who confronted him about the fact that he’s got a wife on the outside.
Bertha: I don’t think that’s true - I think he was confronted - I know the guys talked about it a lot amongst themselves. Richard was very defensive from the word go in terms of that aspect of his life so there was no need to confront it verbally because he came out and expressed it immediately - clearly marking his boundaries on entering the house.
Tashi: I just feel that there have been so many moments when housemates could say: “Do you realize that at this very moment your wife’s sitting at home watching??”
Bertha: I did say a few things to him - the last penthouse experience he had he felt that Big Brother might have brought his wife to the penthouse and he was very nervous and I said to him: “Do you feel guilty?” and he said: “Well I wouldn’t want her to be in the penthouse.” There came a point where he decided that his relationship with his wife was outside and this is me inside. Everyone was going through things and we’re not here to cast judgements, everyone deals with pressure in different ways.
Tashi: I’m dying for his wife to go in, give him a smack and then leave (added afterwards: for forever obviously).
Bertha: Like I said it’s very different on the ground.
Tashi: What was up with all the praying?
Bertha: I pray, I talk to God, whether I do that internally or verbally, it’s something that I do.
Tashi: You did it and then you didn’t do it towards the end - I mean doing it on a reality show - how did that - do you know what I mean?
Bertha: I didn’t stop doing it, maybe my expression of it was not something that was apparent to viewers. My faith is a journey, I believe I’m striving to be a better person. We make mistakes here and there - when I first entered the house, I felt very isolated, I was trying to find my footing and those external expressions of my faith were a way of dealing with it. I still respected myself spiritually but it became more of an internal thing and I don’t feel that I compromised on that at all. Any spiritual belief whether you’re Christian, Muslim, Hindu whatever it’s a journey and we’re all striving to be better people.
Tashi: When you prayed aloud - to not “be” like everyone else, many people felt you thought you were better than everyone else.
Bertha: I felt I was different but not better. I felt I didn’t belong, I was trying to find my footing - I think it’s human to try to find kin - when I said that I’m sure it came out as judgement but it wasn’t my intention at all.
Tashi: What do you think of Kwaku’s American accent?
Bertha: I don’t think it define’s who he is and he did grow up in the United States so there are reasons he would have an accent but there’s so much more to him. I know he’s come under fire because people feel he’s not being African enough or he was fake but I don’t think you define an African by the way they speak.
Tashi: You know how we all feel about people who go to America and then come back with an accent.
Bertha: There are different aspects to someone’s character, so long as someone’s inherently a good person, to judge them on external things like the way they speak may not be fair.
Tashi: So how long was he there for?
Bertha: He went to school there. I think he did his higher education there and he’s been back and forth ever since.
Tashi: If Meryl had stayed would you still have gone for him?
Bertha: I think that’s the perception, that I went for him and I think what some people don’t realize and what some might have seen is that there was a connection with him from the start. I may not have been very expressive about, I may have been slower about it but we had a lot in common and we communicated in way that was great. It may have looked like I waited for the right opportunity but that wasn’t the case at all.
Tashi: So what was the case?
Bertha: K was someone I could really relate to and I could communicate with on a level I felt I couldn’t communicate with anyone else and it just so happened that Meryl left and I got to spend more time with him.
Tashi: If Meryl had stayed what would have happened?
Bertha: Obviously women being women there’s always going to be a protectiveness towards someone you care about. I can’t really call that since I don’t know what would have happened if she’d stayed - all I know is where I’m at right now.
Tashi: When Kwaku comes out do you think he’s going to go to Meryl or to you?
Bertha: (Laughs) Kwaku’s my friend and we have a strong friendship so it’s not about him being mine or Meryl’s - it’s just about having a strong friendship that can grow.
Tashi: So a kinky threesome is what you’re saying?
Bertha: (Laughs) No not at all, that’s funny - I believe that we’re all different people – things that happened in the shoue happened in the house and you never know how they’re going to pan out once you’re outside. All I know is that I have a lot in common with him and I regard him a a good friend.
Tashi: So would you like a relationship with him?
Bertha: I don’t think you can make that sort of call - we’ll just take it a day at a time. If something works out, then hey that’s great. I value the friendship more than the relationship and I wouldn’t want to jeoparidse that. If something were to jeopardize our friendship I wouldn’t want that.
Tashi: It’s like KB said on Sunday - all these friendships with so much kissing going on.
Bertha: (Laughs) Yes, Kissing Friends I guess they call it.
Tashi: What was the most difficult thing about everything?
Bertha: Lack of privacy. Me-time is very important to any individual. A time of introspection where there’s no-one around - the fact that even if there weren’t housemates around, there were people watching. There were times when I just wanted to pull my hair out. I cried a lot, I don’t think I’ve cried so much in my life, it was an emotional roller-caster and the fact that all that was exposed was very difficult for me to come to terms with.
Tashi: What was the easiest?
Bertha: The competitive task because I’m a competitive person - I really enjoyed them and I think I tackled each one head on.
Tashi: Who would you like to see leave next?
Bertha: I want Kwaku to win so anyone could leave next and I’d be fine with it.
Tashi: Who would you
most want to see leave next?
Bertha: (laughs) Sly - um, I have differing degrees of relationships with everyone – I think Tatiana’s a strong candidate to stay in. Maybe Maureen.
Tashi: Yes you didn’t like her.
Bertha: Well I didn’t have a lot in common with her.
Tashi: So Maureen then Code?
Bertha: Maureen then Code, then Richard.
Tashi: How much did you want the money?
Bertha: After a while it wasn’t about the money and it became about the journey. I learnt so much about myself - it was a journey of self-discovery, relationships made. You learn a lot about other people, about yourself and your weaknesses which for someone like me who was always very confident, I learnt that I’m not infallable, that I’m human and it’s okay to ask for help - I think my accident helped a lot with that in terms of not only relying on myself. The more I took those aspects from the game and learnt from them the more I realized they were worth more than the 100 000US.
Ends