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Flirting vs Cheating

Written by Cutie Pie from the blog Cheating on 18 Jan 2008
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Guys, when flirting with someone whereas you also have a partner, would you be cheating on your partner? Let's say for example, you simply have a "wink mate", and you don't touch or do anything. If you say yes you are cheating, why, coz you don't sleep with this person? Flirting ke comes in many different forms...Looking forward to your responses...

40 Comments

DJ Why why
18 Jan 2008 08:34

@ Cutie what have you been up to????? mkm mkm mkm *shaking head*

Just kidding dear, mina in my books anything that is not physical is NOT cheating! Maar ask yourself how you would feel if the other person had a similar buddy, in this case a *winkmate*, if the feeling is -ve maybe it is cheating!

In my books i can have anyone, hug mate, winkmate, blow-kiss-in-the-air-mate, all are okay in my book! As long as they do nt *sika lekhekhe* I have nt cheated!hi hi hi!

belz
18 Jan 2008 08:38

winkmate, heheheheheh!! cutie uzwakala ingathi you have a winkmate and you are just trying to justify it.

Dimago
18 Jan 2008 08:48

Mina i dont do anything i wouldn't like my partner to do. I know i won't appreciate him hugging, winking and blowing kisses at other girls, so i simply don't do it as well....

belz
18 Jan 2008 08:56

Hey Dimags, vaar was jy? you are so right ,ukuthi nje abantu they feel ok when its them doing things kodwa if its the next person its suddenly wrong. have a great weekend my friend.

ngwana
18 Jan 2008 09:05

Its only cheating if you also having dirty thoughts and fantasies about the other person.

But flirting is allowed. As long as he doesnt find out.

Dimago
18 Jan 2008 09:20

But flirting is allowed. As long as he doesnt find out.
@ngwana if its allowed, why must it be a secret?

DJ Why why
18 Jan 2008 09:31

@ngwana if its allowed, why must it be a secret?
LOL @ Dimago.

@ngwana, this is tuff, a dirty thought and a fantasy are just thoughts moss....so where is cheating there????? Cha! hawu phela! that is invasion of my thoughts! hi hi hi!

eish-bo
18 Jan 2008 13:18

Why don't u spice up your relatinship and flirt with your significant other rather than someone else....things might get out of hand there are psychos out there and ya guys it's true one shouldn't do something that they won't like when their partner does it....so no flirting, kissing, hugging, sms's, calls to just say hi habe!

Beyonce
20 Jan 2008 02:43

*WinkMate* ... how innovative!

Lady D
20 Jan 2008 08:49

Playing with fire!!!!!

Cutie Pie
21 Jan 2008 03:01

Hi guys, sorry for the late reply..
@ Dj Why Why...am not up to anything hey, just curious. I think sometimes it happens, either you plan it or not. For instance you may see a cute guy at the mall and you are all by yourself and bored. If he just chats to you or winks, it does not hurt, for as long as you won't take it further. The problem is , what's the next step you take after the whole flirting business....
@ Dimango...Hey Dims, everyone has their own little secret hey. For instance, do you tell your partner of all the crushes you've had/ currently have on some people/celebrities...No...Do you tell your partner that you saw a hot dude with some six pack and wondered about a lot of stuff...I guess no..Just like he won't tell you when he saw a cute lady showing her beautiful cleavage and wished he could touch it...Hhahahaha...So i'm saying, whether we like it or not, there will always be secrets in any relationship...

boogy-babe
21 Jan 2008 03:08

Kaloku cutypie thats cheating coz u not doing that winking business with yo man/girl u doing it with some else not yo partner.Flirting is the as same cheating whether its physical or not coz you flirting without yo partner concern.

Cutie Pie
21 Jan 2008 03:20

Hahahaha BG: You know what happens, once you get involved with someone for more that 2 years, they start forgetting these things. You'll wink with him and acinge ukuba you are a bit crazy...hahaha..i'm not justifying the whole flirting at all...All i'm saying, once we get to know each other, we tend to get ignorant and uptight..Sometimes you want to do the whole palying thing athi he/she's tired...

carino
21 Jan 2008 03:21

Mna in my books, cheating starts the minute i feel any kind of feeling that imitates what i feel for my man, for someone else.

And some things go with your conscience, the minute i feel guilty that i'm smiling at this cute guy at the robots, i stop it.

Also, just check if it is something you'd do when he's around. If you woundn't, then you shouldn't when he's not, either.

As much as flirting can be innocent, the fact remains... for thst second, your *winkmate* takes the place of your lover.. Just for that second... so that in my books is cheating.

I know i'm very jealous, personally, so i know i wouldnt want some girl to feel like she has my man, for those six seconds between the red light and the green, so i dont do it, nam.

Matlhoadibona
21 Jan 2008 03:30

Yes you are cheating, you are giving that other person the believe of there might be something if you guys take one step forward. It's not bad to play once or twice but if you do it constantly then you are upto something not good. Hahaha.......boys and girl just respect your relationships please...

Dimago
21 Jan 2008 03:39

@Cutie, i see the point you are trying to make, i'm saying "don't deliberatly do something that will hurt ur partner (or that you know will hurt you if your partner did it), which are the things you mentioned above. Ofcourse some stuff you can't help, e.g. crushes, but acting on those things is cheating"....

Amazing
21 Jan 2008 03:39

I have a lot of winkbuddies at the moment.

Honeypot
21 Jan 2008 03:45

Lust is one of the 7deadly sins and when you flirt with sum1 there are feelings involved, u might not love that person, but u might like them and that is just enough fuel to light the fire. As for me I know that when I am flirting I am really cheating on my partner, there is no fine line lapho!!!

PrettyPree
21 Jan 2008 04:21

I just admire and dat is dat, no winking 4 me. Ke shwela ka mo gare

boogy-babe
21 Jan 2008 04:22

Yep its like that, once u in a long term relation relationship, GUYS tend to lose the spark that they had at the beginning of the relationship so i think flirting is the right solution to keep yoself happy & to get yo partners attention.(i think)

J-Girl
21 Jan 2008 04:47

I am not winking at anyone at the moment, until they have the courage to come up to me and actually ask me out or something to that effect...
if you ask me it starts with the innocent winking then its a smile, intro, the whole shabang and before you know it you find yourself thinking abt this person out of the blue, now in my books any kind of feeling of any affection towards anyone besides your partner is cheating in essence.
And cheating doesnt bear any fruitful results coz even innocent winkingmates may leave your partner feeling insecure (should they find out) and not fully trusting you in the long run!

belz
21 Jan 2008 04:52

You are right J Girl about the trust thing, anything nje that would make you feel uncomfortable when your partner does is wrong as Dimags said.

KeleFabulous
21 Jan 2008 04:56

hehe...flirting is fun bantu! no harm in it. if you're single!

but if you're involved then why not just flirt with your significant other and keep things interesting??? someone mentioned fantasising about other men/women....if you have such thots why not try and get your partner to play them out? one of the reasons relationships end up not working is because of a lack of communication. if you're yearning for something instead of going out there to find it why not try to make it happen with the one you love? phela people aren't mind readers!

Pooky
21 Jan 2008 05:33

i also just stick to admiring... like that mlungu guy on the 18th floor, all i can do is admire

Cutie Pie
21 Jan 2008 05:47

Hayi guys, let's be realistic..hahaha. Who does not think of Brad Pitt, Taye Diggs, Denzel, Halle Berry, you name it. Sometimes you even think, "Oh God, his lips are so cute, etc". Mna i think as long as you don't exchange numbers and do all that crap, it's not bad. Have you realised how boring it is to sit in Pretoria to JHB traffic. If you have a "winkmate" along the road it will be fun. Just don't go beyond that. We all have flesh and blood. If that's the case ke, we should not even look at these "HOT,CHILLI" dudues with SIX PACKS etc...Coz once you look, definitely your mind will start undressing him...hehehehe...I think as long as this whole thing does not affect your relationship. The person you meet on traffic/mall, you only see them once, play and forget about each other..It releases stress...There's no way it can affect your relationship. When a person starts touching your bum etc, its cheating ke..

cleave
22 Jan 2008 06:20

Well according to the Bible, even a sexual thought about a someone IS cheating. As soon as the thought comes you need to brush it off, and move on. The reason being that as much as people say it's not cheating if it's not physical, thoughts lead actions. That is where the problem comes in. The other thing is that, it doesn't stop. The more you think about something, the more you will want it.

So yes Cutie Pie, even if he's a wink mate, it's cheating! And how long will he be or want 2 b a wink mate for? Sooner or later, he will say something...

My advise is to stay away from it all, I do get tempted big time, especially in traffic and at red lights, work everywhere...and I do become excited for like 3 seconds, but then something just always brings me back to the truth and reality! that this 360, or Beema is just not my man, and the man driving it aint mine either!!!

Tashi
23 Jan 2008 16:02

Hi flirty cutie pie - to let you know we've shifted your blog to the General Blogs section instead of TV.

tsoo
14 Apr 2008 04:46

I think the thing dat makes ppl cheat/flirt is loneiness, imagine a situation where your boyfrnd is miles away from u, nd u get 2 c him 1nc a yr, wudnt u b lonely?
Guys im talking 4rm xperience, my fiancee is working in UK nd i only get 2 c him during the festive season.
I sumtyms get very lonelyh nd end up flirting AM I WRONG?

leorr
03 Jun 2008 12:29

if i realy love him i wont chet on him but i will and i let him know i think mayne is a jock and he all ways horny

candybabe
10 Jun 2008 08:37

Bt then again...its extremely fun for those who are single.....!!!!!!!

thinLine
10 Jun 2008 08:56

Flirting can never be called cheating, they r two different names for a reason.

Birdine
10 Jun 2008 08:59

faraimagic
10 Jun 2008 09:09

Flirting is really cool i think...look R.Kelly even has a song about flirting!then Cheating is bad it has bad results look USHER sang about it as well.....

Now in reality...given the chance i think all of us we have that weakness to do both!no one is perfect!maybe tempted to do both but i know for a fact that we all flirt!PERIOD!

tizoz
10 Jun 2008 09:28

The reason I am single now is because I had a "winkmate"!! Yep, my man noticed and he flipped!!!!!!! I didnt even get a consolation prize (Winkmate was involved with someone else). Rather stay away from "winkmates" cutiepie.

I have the cutest winkmate I think on this planet earth! Gues what the mofo is married... and he winks that eye with the most passionate smile that will melt even the straigtest guy.

We had a moment where it was really getting out of hand and things seem to be back in control. whenever he walks past my office he will check if I am looking and he winks and when he comes back the same thing... not once not twice but the entire day.

I remember he once "accidentaly" touched my ezi while walking past me and there was a long pause and he said sorry I didnt mean to touch your ezi and stupid me without even thinkong in front of everyone I said dont pretend as if you didnt like it. Damn that's lesson 101... keep away from winkmate's.

Brown Shuga
10 Jun 2008 09:34

Hooo Tizoz, your stories are becoming more and more interesting by day....looking foward to hearing more.
So you guys aren't "winkmates" anymore?

tizoz
10 Jun 2008 10:10

Suga he is still my winkmates and I dont really mind... pity he is married.

monwy
10 Jun 2008 10:59

i guess u are cheating, y ungoneli wumuntu wakho?

Forbidden
10 Jun 2008 11:10

Eish, the thin line btwn flirting and cheating.

What's a wink mate????

Coz I flirt but harmless flirting... I give my male friends hugs, and on birthdays,we give each other kisses on the cheak. But that's as far as we go... When we drunk we talk silly stuff, but no one takes me seriously (i hope).

faraimagic
11 Jun 2008 03:22

Wink mate! i love it!

inkomasi
24 Nov 2010 08:56

hi guys! cheating is not gud, u wil end up being unmarried.

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