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Being a stepmom

Written by mayandie from the blog The joys & challenges of being a stepmother on 12 Aug 2008
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Me & my Boo have kids outside our marriege & we have a kid of our own so that means we have that arrangement of UMNTANA WAKHO NOMNTANA WAM BABETHA UMNTANA WETHU type of thing.......

I use to love & adore my stepson dispite his mother's funny things....
I got into the relationship with my man with this woman not in the picture apparently she cheated on him but from day one she has made sure that I feel the fact that she is the mother of this child & I tried most of the times to ignore her.
The child was staying at my man's place then so when she heard that were engaged she took the child & started to make unreasonable demands for child maintainance.
Now we are married & she is still making threaths that she will go to court if her rediculous demands are not met.
This has made my attitude change towards this innocent little boy coz now I really don't care whether he pays or not coz when I talk to my hubby about the matter he gets fraustrated & thinks that I want to spite the mother but his child will be suffering in the process.
Coz what we are doing currently is that we pay for school related things ( eg Transport) & we also buy clothes for the boy every season.
He is also on our medical aid but NO she also want us to do more & I'm really sick of the woman & whenever she feels like sh#%tting she will pick up the phone & call him & say whatever she wants to say & hang up.And I have to put up with that....The last time she called I told her where to get off & I bet if she ever calls again so help me God what I will do to her the next time I lay my eyes on her.
And for crying out loud Iam also the mother of a child & I really do not recall myself calling my ex for each & everything.
And that seems to be forgotten at times.
Just wanted to cough this out coz it's really fraustrating.....

172 Comments

LM
12 Aug 2008 01:52

Haaaiii....I feel for you!

mayandie
12 Aug 2008 01:57

It is really fraustrating LM ...............................

tha - bang
12 Aug 2008 02:01

No i really feel for you.Have u guys decided to sit down all three and have a heart to heart talk.cause if you guys are going to be in each others lives you need to somehow find a middle ground.

Nonny
12 Aug 2008 02:02

I'm having a day from yell today and I have no energy to give any Dr Phil advice namuhla, all I can say is goodluck Mayandie, ngizwelana nawe, inzima lempi obhekene nayo!!!!!

andi01
12 Aug 2008 02:05

At Mayandie, i really understand your pain ausi, but rememeber what ever thet mother does shouldnt affect the child. The child is being punished enough by his mom using him as his way of messing up ur marriage, the best you can do is just love that child regardless. Also remember that, lamntna is ur man's flesh and blood, so if u love ur man, love that child. Ignore esasiqhopholo coz in time she will accept that she aint getting that man anymore. the problem is she doesnt wanna accept that its over b/w her and the man, and he is using teh child to get attention.

Cody
12 Aug 2008 02:07

Who hai, that lady is just bitter!!! will come back mayandie!

andi01
12 Aug 2008 02:08

I am also a step mom to a 7yr old girl and a 18month old boy, I tell you it isnt an easy ride. the mother of the 7yr old is an old matured woman and she can behave, but the boy's mother is hell

Simmone
12 Aug 2008 02:11

Hey, really feel for you with what you are going through, but whatever *bleep!* the boys’ mother is causing in your marriage should not affect the child, he is the innocent bystander in this situation, and loving him and making sure that you acknowledge him in his father’s life will be the sweetest revenge you can ever extend onto this woman.

With her, please I am begging you do not step to her level, whatever bitter past she has with the father must not cause you to hate or curse her out, be the bigger woman. The father/your husband must take responsibility and step up to the plate. The fact that you give her the time of day to play her game gives her the satisfaction that she matters.

He must put her in her place and tell her where to get off. You shouldn’t be handling the situation he should be. He would ask the same thing off you if your ex was doing the same.

Orie
12 Aug 2008 02:23

I feel U, Mayandie, the women want to see ur misarable, do not give her that satisfaction. Just be storng for ur family's sake. When she calls ur husband don even bother by asking him what she wanted (he might enjoy the fact that you sound insecure) As for Madam on the other side, she wont stop until you leave the husband and she mite even call you telling you all the dirty lies. DO NOT ENTERTAIN HER, you deserve to be happy just any other women but dont stress urself about some1 who can get her own life. Clearly she has lot of time on her hands that is why she keeps calling ur hubby. Be strong

Cande
12 Aug 2008 02:24

Your an must put this woman in her place...
Andi, a step mother to 2 children at your age? haiye ngeke

Cody
12 Aug 2008 02:26

Having animosity towards the child because of the mothers stupid tantrums will only make things worse for you and your husband! That is what the lady wants, i guess you should just frastrate her by not giving in to her stupid tactics to cause trouble in your marriage, I know it will take time, but in time she will accept that he aint her man! Just pray about it and ask God to solve it for you, in the mean time just distract yourself with something if you feel that she is making you mad! be a strong woman! there is nothing that drifts away a man more than a nagging woman. if she becomes rude to you, just dont answer her, tell your husband to talk to her, he must just sit down with both of you and tell her that listen mama ka so and so, this is my wife and you will treat her with respect. otherwise, ntlo ho tiya ya mosadi a rapelang.

Cnglemother
12 Aug 2008 02:28

mayandie yithi ndiyochama kuqala ndiyebuya.

andi01
12 Aug 2008 02:29

Haybo Cande, whats wrong with that, both those litle brats stay with their mothers, so my man and I have all the space we need.

belz
12 Aug 2008 02:33

Shame man Yandies.

myname
12 Aug 2008 02:38

Then kill the b***........I am joking my love. Firstly Mayandie I really dont know how u feel I dont want to lie. But i dont know why some ladies always make excuses about babies. How many single mothers in the world who raises their children without this stupid maintenance? We just dont like ourselves qha. Why u make your baby an investment? I know u both made that baby but once you broke up, i think you should talk/negotiate & leave each other with peace. Whoever is inlove with my baby's father she is in heaven. I just cant do that calling & demand whatever i need because you are doing for yourself not a baby. And i believe if u do that s*** u still want your baby's father but u just dont have guts to tell him that you want him next 2 your hip. So dear do what's right for u & your family nithethe lento as adults & have an agreement because there is a precious loving life in between. And good Luck

Firstdvd
12 Aug 2008 02:41

I remember voting for Mayandie few weeks ago...The three of u need to sit down and draw the line!

Madam Dee
12 Aug 2008 02:41

andi01
12 Aug 2008 02:48

@Madam Dee- sometimes its not easy to ignore the baby mama, when she be reminding you every 2 seconds that, thats ma baby dady, but ke those are some of the joys of being a wifey, dealing with crazy arse baby mammas. I once said to ma man's baby mama, "if you use ur son again as ur ways of getting this man, I will eliminate ur son, u dont know what I am capable of", of course I didnt mean that, i love that son to bits, but bendifuna esasqhopholo to stay away. and she did, I guess we all afraid of witchcraft.

Cnglemother
12 Aug 2008 02:50

the problem is she doesnt wanna accept that its over b/w her and the man - This is the hardest part people and its not an overnight process when you share a child with a person and seeing them looking all cosy and happy with another woman just torments you, I thought I was a bigger and mature person until something that happened recently (wont get into it) I personally don’t like oMayandie (step moms) LOL coz they got what should have been mine! And if there was a way i wud cut them out of my child's life but they are part and parcel of the equation.

Frustration and rejection can turn a good woman into a super bitch, she is really being unreasonable by doing all these childish and mean things but we all have our different ways of reacting to certain situations and its up to us to be modest (swallow even if its bitter like I do) or be bitchy and be like the woman mentioned on this blog.

There is really no point in taking out your frustrations to an innocent woman who did not get you pregnant and miserably. Mayandie just go back to the day you learnt that the father of your other child (not marriage one) is with someone else, I am sure u were not too chuffed about it. She is damn lucky to have a babydaddy that honours his mantainance obligations If I were her I would shut up the big trap and appreciate the help that the father of the child is giving and just try to deal with the pain of rejection slowly without stepping on anyone’s toes (very hard I must say). That’s my 2cents worth

mabhebheza
12 Aug 2008 02:54

yini nah Cnglemother y r reporting u visit 2the small house..*wink* ubufuna siyokuncedisa nah..hampa!!

Stepmom....issues is just a nightmare !

Hlehle
12 Aug 2008 02:54

My advice is that talk to ur hubby and arrange a meeting with the boy's mom and sit down and talk things through. Please love the boy as u love ur man that will do good in ur hubby. Let me tell you something, i'm also a step daughter and my mom had never demanded anything from my dad. But my dad has been taking care of me since i was born & he still is, although i'm working but if i need something he gives it to me without any questions.

Just be a good step mom to the boy and ur hubby will love u more.But the biatch need to get off.

Addictv
12 Aug 2008 03:01

I can imagine ya frustration....

But have guys ever sat down and hash this out with her once and for all. Think u & hubby (or even hubby alone) need to sit dis woman down & explain to her what is acceptable in this relationship yenu...becoz you gonna have her in yo life for a long time, so set some ground rules....explain to her the negative impact her attitude is gonna have on your relatioship with her own child....jus talk this out.

ngwana
12 Aug 2008 03:04

Baby momma drama, story of my life.
I met the most wonderful guy ever a couple of years ago, we fell in love and moved in together. He had a baby with this really mean chick (i dont know what he ever saw in her)
Anyway she told him that if he wanted to see his son had I was not allowed to be anywhere new the child. That i would harm her son. (have you ever)
She would phone at 05:30 in the morning to say the child nappies where finished. If he wanted the baby to visit she would also have to be there (which i understood cause he was only 2 years old) But she would come to our house and make me seem like such a bad person. if the baby cried and i picked him up she would say stuff like - if i want to be a mom i mush go make my own baby and not try to steal hers.

mabhebheza
12 Aug 2008 03:07

Well said Cnglemother !! *Applause*

Frustration & rejection can turn a good women in2 a Super bitch

Madam Dee
12 Aug 2008 03:12

@andi, i understand that , thats where pretence comes in, She shud just ignore her demands if they are unreasonable. rather to make his hubby happy i wud suggest what she does for her child she shud do for the other. That way it eliminates any thought of unfairness in the eyes of your inlaws (dont forget them hey, they can make things worse for you) all i'm saying is if you neutralise the situation on the home front , she is as good as gone

molibelis
12 Aug 2008 03:25

Make sure to invest some little cash for the boy,like education plan,insurances and other,if the cow desided to take u to court u will be able to put her where she belong cause they always claim that they want money every month but they dont open education plans for their kids,and make sure that u keep every clothing slip,and the transport receipts, girl i mean everything to prove in court,cause i promise u she dont even know the bus price,u will win the case and she left with nothing,the court will make sure that u keep her own son from her,cause she is nothing but trouble maker.

Cande
12 Aug 2008 03:26

Shame indeed, after 2 months of mariage..

Nonny
12 Aug 2008 03:30

"I thought I was a bigger and mature person until something that happened recently (wont get into it)"
@ Cngle - Yah mngnani ungabatsheli, phela this is TVSA afteall........LOL

andi01
12 Aug 2008 03:31

Well said Cnglemother mother, but once again what happens in my case. The "baby mama", broke up with the man before I was in the picture. Now she says that my man isnt allowed to visit the child (if he doesnt take her back, and bcoz he has another girlfriend and she even said that she and the son are one package). whats sad is that, teh mother drinks 24/7 and doesnt look after the child and yet refuses to allow the father to take care of the son, "bcoz of me". In thats case ke kwenziwa njani. The girls baby mama is cool, she and my man have a matured relationship and that doesnt botehr me.

andi01
12 Aug 2008 03:36

@cnglemother-don’t like oMayandie (step moms) LOL coz they got what should have been mine, I dont feel guilty bcoz she lost the man, and mna ke ndamchola, i didnt take him away from her.

Look I am not thetheleling the stepmoms, coz soem are mean, like my sister in lwa, my brother has a 5 year old from a previous relationship and he has a 1 yr old with the wife. But the wife treats teh stepdaugheter as if she was 25. Thats one of teh reasons I left home, coz I would tell her where to get off, when she expected my 5yr old niece to watch her "baby",and to bathe herself.

Cody
12 Aug 2008 03:38

Hi Cngle! you just hit it on the nail!! hee, you guys are better, people are experiencing horror stories outside!!! there is this friend of mine (Madamzee is her cyber name), i met her here on TVSA, we became friends because I was helping her with some staff for her company.

her boyfriends baby mama is giving her hell!!! and i mean hell! now they were suppose to get married two months back but the wedding got posponed because everytime they would try and make arrangements the child will get sick and go to hospital! She told me that last week this child went to ICU because apparently the child had food poisining now they are saying its her while the child lives in KZN with the mother, the mother said she bewitched her child, wara wara!!! now, they all went to a Sangoma with the family, including the mother, to confrim her allegations, so the sangoma said the mother is the one making the child cry with muthi because she knows that the father loves the child to bits so if the child is sick the father will just leave everything and attend to the child. Now its sad that the child is in ICU because apparently this dosage she gave her didnt go well with her system! hence they went to the Sangoma

How can this women do this to her own child, just to stop the wedding! and my word she stopped the wedding, i dont get babymama's sometimes,what is she expecting out of this, if anything i think she will NEVA get the man back because he has lost all respect for her. and these stupid sangoma's how on earth do you allow a person to damage their own child, or is it because of the money?

mayandie
12 Aug 2008 03:39

Iam very overwhelmed guys with all your responses...
Talking to each other will never happen b'coz that woman really thinks the worst of me & she has tried numrous times to bad mouth me to my inlaws.I was even shocked to find that she was also investigating me.
And this woman doesn't even know me I'm from P.E & she is from DBN.
But I guess the reason I wrote this BLOG was FEAR.Iam scared of changing from the person that I really am.
Iam not a bad person at all & I must say that I love that boy a lot & I know that he loves me too but with the way things are carrying on I'm really afraid of changing to a monster stepmom.
And I think I need to talk to my hubby about this & let him know how all this is affecting me.
Coz at times I feel like he is not handling the situation the way he is suppose to.
Thankx again guys i really appreciate your advises......I'm crying now....
It is really nice to have all of you as friends....LOVE Y'ALL!!!!

molibelis
12 Aug 2008 03:40

Nna i dont think is the good idea to have the meeting with boys Mom,cause she is not going to bring peace just her bad attitude towards mayandie,i think maya can just leave her hubby to take care of this situation and pretend as if she not in the room,cause man get bored easily then he will next time tell the cow that he had enough of her sh*****t,
he will go like this
(tring,tring ex-girl is calling someone's husby)
(Husby) hello
(X)-I want to know when are u going to deposit the money?
H -For HU
X -4 the boy
H- What 4
X -I want to buy him a PC
H -i will have to ask my WIFE first,to C what she is saying,the i will come back 2u,b4 the end of next year.
Tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii,Husby hanged up the phone cause he is bored.

Nonny
12 Aug 2008 03:45

*hectic hectic* stuff, for once nami I'm a silent blogger, guys ngigqagqeni izingqa the way ngibusy ngakhona......LOL

cleve
12 Aug 2008 03:48

Mayandie that is so sad. I have abrother who has a baby outside of his marriage, he had the baby before he met his wife. Anyways he and the wife have another baby well she is five now. She is such a spoilt brat and what makes me sad is that the first baby mama does not interfere in their relationship but his wife does not treat the kids the same. The first child is a boy(13). She really makes me mad and me and my mom try our best to take care of him when he visits. He even looks after my child (2yrs) and plays with him. My baby adores him to bits. He is such a sweet little boy and gets up to mischief sometimes which is normal. Me and my mom just don't like the wife because she doesn't treat the kids fairly. My brother notices this and it also hurts him but he loves this witch so there is nothing we can do about it.

Just be strong and don't give into this woman. She is the one who makes us baby mamas have a bad name.

andi01
12 Aug 2008 03:48

@Mayandie-Coz at times I feel like he is not handling the situation the way he is suppose to., i think your expectations are pretty high, for the man who fainted at the alter on your wedding day, LOL, i think thebrother is just confused, he has made his choice (you) and loves his son to bits, but the baby mama is making it imposibble for him to have the best of both worlds.

@Khodeyi- i aint suprised my nigga, i think many women fall pregnant hoping to keep the men, oblivious to them that they are pushing them away. A kid is a blessing from God, not a messed-up-relationship-fixer. We girls need to accept that. If a man is no longer inlove with u, having a child with him doesnt miraculously return those feelings. Like my ex once said to me, when our relationship was falling apart (bcoz he was abusive), he said that "if I could have a child with him, he will be responsible and treat me right", I immediately thot this is blackmail and I aint falling for that.

Simmone
12 Aug 2008 03:53

H -i will have to ask my WIFE first,to C what she is saying,the i will come back 2u,b4 the end of next year.
Tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii,Husby hanged up the phone cause he is bored.

That’s when the crap starts, couldn’t he just tell her straight up I have to think about it and get back to you other than using the wife as the probing stick. Issue is that creates a situation where his baby mama dislikes the wife because she assumes that she was the reason that he doesn’t provide for the child and will run to the child and tell him your wicked stepma said no.

It’s not boredom, its being spineless and a coward.

Cnglemother
12 Aug 2008 03:54

yah Mayandie, i feel you. i have a 4 yr old daughter with a guy, and i have never interfered with his reletionship since he moved in with the other woman. call it pride but i have been taking care of my child single handedly. i dont believe that i shud ask for maintenance from him.

@Madam Dee, let me school you sweetchild I also tried that i am independent, can take care of my own business stuff but after all the *bleep!* this mafacka is putting me through i have decided to take him up on his all of a sunday pathetic maintanance plan and out of anger i am not gonna use it for any child related ish. My child is very expensive BTW LOL!so his pathetic amount was only gonna cover his nikey shoes. I did not even dispute the amount coz i dont care, he could not tell me face/toface ukuthi uzofaka malini and only found ukuthi wafaka malini via bank statement i was like WTF. So that amount goes to my wigs, nails; and to all the stupid things that i can live without. If he decides not to deposit lawo masentana wakhe on a certain month noone calls him to ask why ungafakanga imali coz my boy does not go hungry if akanyakazanga.

But trust me the STEPMOM WONT EVEN NOTICE THAT I EXIST coz i dont even have the guy's number on my cell-fone its written on the door of iwardrobhi yam, i call him at work and we have a 2 minute conversation that's all about my boy end of story.

Nonnz i wont dare tell u what happended LOL!

Sobz
12 Aug 2008 04:00

Can you plz welcome me bloggers im new......i feel for you Mayandie..you know the saying you must'nt fight fire with fire...i think its high time YOU FIGHT FIRE WITH FIRE to put this nomtatsi in her place....and i want to see the day she goes to maintenance court and you and your hubby paying her R50 a week for maintenance...

mayandie
12 Aug 2008 04:01

@Cody dol it's amazing how people can do all stupid things using children.....And let tell you guys by saying these things happen if you remember my story somshado I never told you everything coz some were also wondering if all the drama I was telling was true....
Mna ngomtshato wam ndayibona inkosi & nothing can defeat iPower yomthandazo....uMadamzee makathandaze so that if umtshato wakhe is meant to happen uzoqhubeka & she & her Fience must curse uSathana everyday bacele uThixo ukuba abancede coz sana uSathana uyapantsula unxibe iHOT PENT phandlapha ufuna imitshato neerelationships zabantu.....
On my wedding the Boy was the Pageboy so we bought him everything but on the day the mother decided hide the shoes that we bought fo the wedding & umntana wakhapha ngeeTekkie......
Umama wengane is apparently from Polokwana & Did I tell you that on our wedding day the person who was carrying the rings got lost for 3hrs & he had to be fetched kwiToll Gate that was going to Pokwana & after all the Drama yomtshato we consulted abantu bomthandazo & they told us everything that was suppose to happen & here we are now we are hubby & wify.....
But I would like to relive iFeeling yomtshato wam coz zange ndiwuve tu.....
Hopefully ngoMabo in DBN next year you will all be there coz I would like to enjoy myself in that one......
Masiqiniseni emthandazweni bethuna coz amaGqwirha akhona & abalaseleyo ngoku yileAge group yethu.......

Madam Dee
12 Aug 2008 04:02

Hayi Bo Cody, im sure Maam Zee is not entertaining that nonsense, i do not believe that a mother cud go that far just to keep a man. People Sangoma's sometimes are after a quick buck and they will tell you alsorts of stories. i remember when my daughter was really sick she was in a comma state for two weeks and i was told that i need to take her to her father's family and introduce her otherwise she is going to die, it was the hardest decision i ever had to make i did not take her there, but i prayed instead. its been three yrs now she is a bubbly Madam. So please do not believe everything you are told by Sangoma's

Cnglemother
12 Aug 2008 04:04

Andi its cool dawg, my babydaddy's girlfriend has got nothing to do with my miserable situation. She did not break us up at all hence i cannot say anything bad about her or try to thakatha her LOL!. I am not over the guy and she has no control over that, i need to deal with it mna selufa (myself) and get over it. Yes it kills me that they are together but the mafacka does not want me so enzeni umntana abantu?? Ndishiywe ke qha!

Yo-yo! cody people dont value their children's lives fosho, how can u do that for ipipi lendoda nje qha sies!

Cnglemother
12 Aug 2008 04:11

On my wedding the Boy was the Pageboy so we bought him everything but on the day the mother decided hide the shoes that we bought fo the wedding & umntana wakhapha ngeeTekkie......LMBAO! sorry yandis i had to laugh at this one, Oh my gawd u are dealing with a witch fosho girl. But that sangoma ish dont take it to heart girl benze imail labantu.

belz
12 Aug 2008 04:13

day the mother decided hide the shoes that we bought fo the wedding & umntana wakhapha ngeeTekkie...... > LOL!!!!, Shame man yandies.

mayandie
12 Aug 2008 04:13

@Mayandie-Coz at times I feel like he is not handling the situation the way he is suppose to., i think your expectations are pretty high, for the man who fainted at the alter on your wedding day, LOL, i think thebrother is just confused....
@andi01 sukugezela umntuwam wena inxeba lendoda alihlekwa.....
Don't you think he needs to put a stop to this.............
Mandilwele kaloku sana tyhini.....

mayandie
12 Aug 2008 04:20

Welcome Sobz..........I like the word you used uNomtatsi.......Haaaaa.....haaa

Cnglemother
12 Aug 2008 04:23

Sobz i am gona confuse with Sobza yazi, welcome!

pariri
12 Aug 2008 04:24

ohhhhh ! shame man mayandie this is soooo sad kodwa
"mother decided hide the shoes that we bought fo the wedding & umntana wakhapha ngeeTekkie......"
@ cnglemom, I feel u dear nge pathetic maintainance plan hahahahaha, amadoda kodwa mfimmm

mayandie
12 Aug 2008 04:25

I have to say this Sobz was my Matron of Honor guys she was there when all the Drama happened.....................................Baxelele Choma...................

andi01
12 Aug 2008 04:30

@Cnglemother-but the mafacka does not want me so enzeni umntana abantu?? Ndishiywe ke qha! , I always say the first step to healing is by admitting/ accepting, dont worry sisi man kuzoba drand, itheni lentwana yayiku-penetrator grand lento ungakwazi ukuyilibala???? Yah sure kubuhlungu ushiywa but uboshiyeka man, what isnt meant for you soze ibeyeyakho, although its hard to accept that.

Mandilwele kaloku sana tyhini..... - I always say to my man, he shud let me handle other fights on my own, if he wnts me 2 be his wife one day, I need to practice now. But you are right in this case he should deal with this himself.

andi01
12 Aug 2008 04:31

But that sangoma ish dont take it to heart girl benze imail labantu, I'd rather we didnt go there, coz le into izondivusela nje ngenkenqe.

Cnglemother
12 Aug 2008 04:31

Pariri now u understand why i just take it to Kinky and get me a good wig ngalo2cents yakhe LOL! ndivale phezulu? why argue nomntu emdala embona umntwana wakhe uGuccirised to the nines kanjani but usafaka i2BOB in your account.

Cnglemother
12 Aug 2008 04:34

Andi sorry ngezamathwasa but ke that's how i feel ngabo. Pls dont get nkenkqerised LOL!

andi01
12 Aug 2008 04:37

Yah but one thing i have learnt is that, my man has 2 kids already, so if he wants baby number 3, he must marry me first. i would rather be a wifey than a bitter baby mama.

andi01
12 Aug 2008 04:38

@cnglemother, at school I used to sing second soprano, but there was this one song (yekela amathwasa angene), yoh everytime we sang that song, I would just miraculously hit the highest note, in the best first soprano ever, it was weird, yazi

Cnglemother
12 Aug 2008 04:39

. i would rather be a wifey than a bitter baby mama. Tl-tl-tl! usile andi, utsho kubani ke ngoku xa uthi bitter baby mama heh? LOL!

Sobz
12 Aug 2008 04:51

I have to say this Sobz was my Matron of Honor guys she was there when all the Drama happened.....................................Baxelele Choma...................

Ibali lide (the story is long) ngu Bold

Iyhoo this is another topic al2gether...it was like i was the one who was getting married having sleepless nytes & would call call in the early hrs of the morning to ask her if shes done that or must do this...kodwa uMayandie ukhe abe nayo maan shame ibad luck but when the gud luck comes.... yhooo ndibe jelous nam....do you know that the caterer dropped her like a hot potato 3 days b4 umtshato.....the other drama i dont have the.. the...the....(isibindi).. to talk about them......YHOOO...

andi01
12 Aug 2008 04:55

Yazi mayandi the simple way to get through this is to beat that woman to a pulp. Everytime you see her, uvele nje uziphambanise umnyathele kanobom, if uyakoyisa dont give up sana one day you will finally win. There is nothing that a good slapping with both hands follwed by you pointing ur finger at her, uthi (sundjwayela kabi wena, ndzokukhabunye mna ke sisi) wont fix, I promise you it works.

Ngqesta
12 Aug 2008 04:58

Egameni le StepMoms I greet you all.........Mayandie sanas....one word to you...PHOLA......CngleMa & Nonsta know exactly how I feel about babymamadramas........the trick is to never have any interaction or exchange of words with her...she should NEVER be aware of how you feel or whether or not she's pi$$ing on your batteries, let hubby dearest handle her and her drama. To hubby deary, be supportive, try and reason with his wishes in this regard, only voicing your opinion when asked. It's hard to do but worth the try. Mna ke I have a rule in my house to which I got hubby to agree, no baby mama calls after hours except if it is a case of emergency.....she has the whole day to call him while at work.....I mean why should I allow uNolatsi osileyo to steal on my family time, it would be a different story if she is the reasonable kind, like our very own Cnglema (love you girl). So MaYandi-Yandi, imission yaloNomatse is to make your life as miserable as possible, so why give her the satisfaction....whatever she puts you through, never let her see your reaction, cause guess what...your reaction is what give her the kicks....Dankie san!

Cody
12 Aug 2008 04:59

I hate meetings when i have so much to do on TVSA LOL!!!

"mother decided hide the shoes that we bought fo the wedding & umntana wakhapha ngeeTekkie......"

i couldnt help but laugh at this!! This nondindwa is a real bi*ch neh?

Mina this mafacka who got me preggies is now going out with this slender neh? he will regret the day he was born, i can take care of my child but I AM DEMANDING maintanance! i dont care if i am a bad baby mama or not! i just want him to feel the pain although it wont bring him back, i pay for everything, from the doctors visits to everything, the other day i told him im going to have a 4D scan of my baby and he just said, okay as if he was im the middle of a climax!! he showed up in the middle of the scan, i mean WTF!! sometimes these make us do the things that we do as baby mama's. i wont terrorise the poor slender but as for him!!........he's got another thing coming! Plus i am soo jealous of that slender, she looks good shame and nna im stuck with this body that is getting bigger and bigger by the day!!! its painful but it helps if you have a soother! LOL

Cody
12 Aug 2008 05:05

why argue nomntu emdala embona umntwana wakhe uGuccirised to the nines kanjani but usafaka i2BOB in your account. LMAO!!

kwakwakwa Cngle!!!............ive always wondered why unchaza so? now i know!!!

Ngqesta
12 Aug 2008 05:08

@cnglemother, at school I used to sing second soprano, but there was this one song (yekela amathwasa angene), yoh everytime we sang that song, I would just miraculously hit the highest note, in the best first soprano ever, it was weird, yazi................. andi01......I know that song.....yho yho yho yayitshisa....God it would make any Xhosa speaking person sing soprano

Wena...Cnglema...wenzeni..what happened recently...sfunukwazi :-)

Cody
12 Aug 2008 05:08

As Andi said Cngle, kuzoba drand, just drink I-drandpa!! ROTFLMBAO @ andi!!!!!!

Lela
12 Aug 2008 05:18

My baby tata got married when I was 7mnths preggies. He came up to Jozi and lives happily ever after. I had decided that i would never call him to ask about the child, he eventually called together with the wife and they told me what they planned to do to support the child which was 500 a month, they would pay it the one month and not pay for the next 5mnths and not call or write. The one thing I would tell myself is that they know he has a child so I won't be making a clown of myself asking why they didn't deposit the money because I'm old enough to know that they either don't have or don't want to.

To cut the story short the wife is the one that calls me with anything that has to do with the child and I also do the same because I'm also not interested in talking to her hubby. For me this the best arrangement because we have no drama at all and I know I'm the best baby mama in the world because they don't know stress from me.

Simmone
12 Aug 2008 05:21

Reply from: andi01 8/12/2008 12:55:01 PM
Yazi mayandi the simple way to get through this is to beat that woman to a pulp. Everytime you see her, uvele nje uziphambanise umnyathele kanobom, if uyakoyisa dont give up sana one day you will finally win. There is nothing that a good slapping with both hands follwed by you pointing ur finger at her, uthi (sundjwayela kabi wena, ndzokukhabunye mna ke sisi) wont fix, I promise you it works.

ROFLMAO!!!!!!u wronged sana clean…………

Lela
12 Aug 2008 05:32

Mina I think baby mama and wife should find a way of being civil towards each other if ke the baby mama is impossible it means usamfuna ubaba wengane. Just have an arrangement and stick to it. If she can't give you the respect you deserve as the wife let her go to court cz phaya they make the man pay half and the baby mama half so after that see what story she will come up with.

Cnglemother
12 Aug 2008 05:32

Ngqesta its very personal and painful joe, will rather not share.

Lela i love u sana but mna i have not matured enough to be able to speak to the Stepmom, there's no bickering or bitching btwn us but i rather ignore her. Maybe in 5 years time when i am over the guy i will be able to invite her for coffee fosho hayi ngoku kusebuhlungu.

Andi uphambene!

Ngqesta
12 Aug 2008 05:38

Ngqesta its very personal and painful joe, will rather not share....Cnglema....sure i feel you girl.

Lela.......*in my best Tembi Seete voice*......ndiyakthanda sana ndiyakthanda...if only most BMs were like you, SM would be the happiest creatures alive.

cleve
12 Aug 2008 05:39

Wow Lela that is so beautiful. You are indeed admired. You are one strong and brave woman. I don't know what I would do if that happened to me. I guess you didn't have a choice and had to move on with your life.

A round of applause to you.

Lela
12 Aug 2008 05:39

Cngle, what I did mina was to deal with myself cause I always knew that he will come back with some story when the child is older, which is what is happening now. The one thing I always wanted was for my child to have a relationship with her dad ,so that is how I'm even able to put up with his wife pretending to like me when she would rather kill me for having her hubby's first born. It is not easy but when i think of the effects of a girl child growing up not knowing the dad it becomes worth it. I know it from me cz my mom is a single parent.

Ngqesta
12 Aug 2008 05:45

The one thing I always wanted was for my child to have a relationship with her dad ,so that is how I'm even able to put up with his wife pretending to like me when she would rather kill me for having her hubby's first born......Hayke Lela uyaphazama ke ngoku.....or pehaps I should say I don't know about the SM but I absolutely have no qualms with my hubby BM having his first born, I was not even in the picture at that point in time. I decided to finish my degree and get a decent job, while she decided to give him a first born.........and end up without the diploma she was trying to pursue.....which she's still trying to pursue 7 years later.

Lela
12 Aug 2008 05:52

Thanks guys, the thing is I grew up seeing all this baby mama drama and I told myself that I wouldn't want it to happen to me so when it did I had to deal with it in the best way possible. When you forgive yourself, forgive the person and move on, (Which doesn't happen in one day, 2k me 2 years) you get to a point where you look at your child and just want to send him(baby tata) an sms and thank him for such a great gift. If I had not forgiven that man I would have missed this wonderful angel that God sent me who doesn't even have baby mama dramas. It doesn't help being bitter over spilt milk it only holds you back.(Gaad I just sound like Oprah)

ratogal
12 Aug 2008 05:53

Yandie i dont have any experience but i think this baby mama drama will not end, this woman will not stop being unreasonable because she feels jelas that she mesed up up and now u have the guy.

Hlehle
12 Aug 2008 05:53

U r one brave gal Lela. Yazi ur name was my nickname back in da days but my aunt still uses it.

Cnglemother
12 Aug 2008 05:54

Amen Lela!,nam sendenzela lorelationshipnyana wethu. Ladies take care of their dirty laundry kanjalo ke bhabha now i just have to show u the way to Kinky for wigs ngala R500, eyam i2BOB ingena nge 30 we will see uba siya nini LOL!

Jokes aside but you really inspired me and made me stronger kulomzabalazo wethu wokushiywa sikhamisile. Cody, Lela will be your teacher from now on coz mina i still need igrandpa to calm me down like Andi said.

Cande
12 Aug 2008 05:55

thank you guys for the advices, this will be useful to me in a few months when i become a step mother..LOL

Cnglemother
12 Aug 2008 05:57

Hayke Lela uyaphazama ke ngoku, LOL! i can just picture u saying it Ngqesta in yr calm nature, tl-tl-tl!

@Ratogal u have a point there.

Lela
12 Aug 2008 06:00

Ngqesta,will go back and read your reply see if there are similarities but wih my baby baba's wife that is the case cz apparently they were already engaged when he impregnented me. That is why mina I feel that in as much as I know that she will never like me but the fact that she can even pretend to means we both have the same goal, which best interest of the child that is all that matters to me. Because truth be told I don't know what I would do if I was in her shoes. Have my man mithisa someone else while siengaged, Nkosi andifuni nokuyicinga.

andi01
12 Aug 2008 06:05

Yazi amadoda they loose interest when the girl is preggies, my advise have 2 men, when the real father dumps, tell the 2nd man that he is the father. And you will see "uzolondla ilahle lidelifane naye, qha ke", its unfair that kids shud suffer bcoz utata ubone islender (in Khodey's case).

Lela
12 Aug 2008 06:11

Cngle, undihlekiselani na sana, shame I didn't finish the story kaloku when I came to Jozi they called me for a meeting and I told them that I want my child to come stay with me so we have to go 50/50 on the expenses. Ngoku ke they pay 1000 for creche, and buy clothes for winter and summer. Mina ke I do the rest. But sana I'm not gonna lie ngala 500 nam ndandisenza inwele because ingane ibise khaya, worse ke ntombi nalo 5 yayiza xa kunethile. But ke ndibulel'u Thixo ba we didn't have to go to court for this arrangement because that's what I was gonna do ngoba I could never ndondlele indoda endala ezobuya after fifteen years like my dad ithi "I'm sorry" and then iphe umntanam iR20.

Cande
12 Aug 2008 06:15

I see this is too close to home Cnglemama

Cnglemother
12 Aug 2008 06:15

uzolondla ilahle lidelifane naye, qha ke", tl-tl-tl! no Andi01 that's wrong dude. ungawari ngoCody she knows how to phanda for her child so uzobaright, the baby-chats i sumtymz have with her show ukuthi uzoyimela ijive yakhe fosho noma isleg kanjani.

Segololo
12 Aug 2008 06:23

Mayandie, dear... Marriage is already a hard challemge that needs strong people. When you said "I do" to all those vows, you were not saying "only when it is easy" - you admtted before God and a chapel full of worried people that your man would faint again and tekkie wearing stepchild that you would do it. AND he also admitted the same vows, so now... this is your first challenge, my dear amd there will be many... In-laws will soon be on the list.

When he decided that you would be the woman he wants to sleep next to "for the rest of his life mme" he knew he had baggage and now he needs to sort it out. All you can do is put your foot down and make him aware that taking care of someone's child in a new marriage is already hard enough and you and BM will be together forever unless something happnes to the child (Gaad forbid!) but she will foerver be a part of your lives because of his errors of judgement before your relationship.

THAT child did absolutely nothing wrong and should not have to pay for having a dumbass mother!! Genuinely Love, care and do what you can for him. One day he will be a grown man and will know that even times were really hard you did not treat him diffrenetly to your children.

You need to then ensure that he takes charge of this situation. BE A MAN! It was HIS tototolozi or shlombolozi that resulted in this child so he needs to tell BM that as the mother of the child she has every right to the wellbeing of the child and since the child is already being taken care off well she needs to realise that the vendetta she has will only harm their child if she continues. If there are concerns that the child is not being taken care of she must reasonably list them, on paper, and depending on how you (him and you) can assist, you will try. Sometimes this is when Bomalome are needed - she brings the list, yu and hubby bring receipts and grown people address the issue. SHe may even be forced to go thru your in-laws to ask for things therefore be banned to communicate with you or hubby!!

Kepp every single receipt you spend on the child, whatever policy or anything that is spent on the child should be filed! EVEN a R25 lunch box at KFC receipt... GO to court, when the date is set, with those things and she will look like an idiot because she wont have proof that you don't take care of her childs needs. She might end up having to pay you guys for maintenance because what exactly does she want to maintain (her cat!?) when the child is living with you?

Be strong, my dear..

Lela
12 Aug 2008 06:29

Hayi Andi I can't help laughing about ilahle.

awelani
12 Aug 2008 06:29

Cande
12 Aug 2008 06:30

you admtted before God and a chapel full of worried people LMFAO!!!

Viva Segololo viva!!!

Cnglemother
12 Aug 2008 06:30

yes Candegirl but i will be fine girl ungawari, just have tears in my eyes ke ngoku.

Lela i dont even inform him that i got the money on my account or say thanks hence he does the internet transfer when he feels like. My mom knows ngale2BOB but ke ndamxelela uba iya ezinweleni zam coz we managed fine ngaphandle kwayo for close to 2 years.

Its funny how the temporary stepfathers we get along the way do so much for kids that are not theirs heh? I am not gonna lie my prospects helped me a lot kwifinances and always coughed out cash when asked for. iProspect iza igijima if you mention a sick child that u cannot take to hospital ngenxa yelack of transport, fonela uyise uzonya fosho or uyobhujelwa lolosana ezandleni!.

Cande
12 Aug 2008 06:40

Cody, that guy broke-up with you?? Haiyke ngoku..!

pariri
12 Aug 2008 06:50

well said Sego !
to u mayandie chin up gal, usule ezo nyembezi coz one day that baby mama is gonna regret ever making ur making ur lyf miserable or maybe she'll start thinking clearly when her son luvs u more than she luvs her

carino
12 Aug 2008 06:55

yho, Sego.... well said indeed.

pariri
12 Aug 2008 06:57

fonela uyise uzonya fosho or uyobhujelwa lolosana ezandleni!.
hahahahahahaha Cnglemom I know this is no laughing matter but sana u just kill me the way othetha ngayo hahahahahahahah
u're the best cnglemom ever !!!!

Cody
12 Aug 2008 07:09

LOL at Cngle and Andi! nna ive accepted that im preggies whether it was a minipulation or not, but i find myself wanting to be okay for the sake of my child but eish the green monster pops up now and then. I want him to pay maintanance come hell or high water!!

Cngle is right i sure know how to phanda for myself, be it transport, massages, Dr's trips, the works even that one that you guys are thinking of, im getting it with or without him LOL

carino
12 Aug 2008 07:17

Askies guys.. please dont forgot to watch Death of The Queen tonight. Just a reminder.

what aka mathata
12 Aug 2008 07:20

sego,im already strong.
my dear be strong,this is part of marriage,i think you should call uncles n her family.n you must be there,n pls dont talk too much about what shis doing to you.

the best thing it will be a restraining order bcs one day you can be in jail for stupit words,try so hard to say nothing to this hutler,her child will be always be part of your life,you must know you are one of lucky ladies bcs that child shis still young,all of us we have painful baggage but we try so hard to be strong.

pls stop talking to this EX,sometimes life is not fair,tables can turn to you,your mother in law i think she must be in charge of this to avoid bad words.pls love that child like yours,this will come to an end if you fight with love both side.

Cody
12 Aug 2008 07:24

Yebo Cande, although he hasnt said it yet, but all the actions are there. he came with the slender girl when i booked for my scan, when we left, i went to my car i saw the slender in his mothers car! that girl made sure that i saw her, he was shouting baby baby im coming, soo childish but he, everything works together for good because i've got everything covered,(with my avbob ad voice)

let baby
12 Aug 2008 07:24

i dont know mayb am wrong my babys father was supporting the child i didnt have a single problem with him at first .. he knew dat month end he has to spend on the child b4 he does anything else then many babies resurfaced apparently he was a ladies man and the painful part is i love this man but i had to choose...cos i saw that the relationship was taking too much of me i even lost weight to me he was my everything but now i guess am busy picking up the pieces of my lirfe and trying to go on with my life... as for my baby he is a sweet little boy and hes growing very well and the father supports wen he feels like it... one day i was so fed-up i told him dat am taking him to maintanance court but i dont have the guts to do dat but i know if he piss me off i will do it....now am fine with my baby and my family...everytime i get some1 in my life he wants to cum bac and his girlfriends r busy calling me and swearing at me and dat irritates me so i told myself dat i wont even ask him so i decided to leave him alone and live my life and now am happy with my child... i so wanted for my child to know his father i guess we dont choose how life turns out to be... the only thing for me to do is to pray nothing else God will take care of everything...

andi01
12 Aug 2008 07:25

@mathata- are u still wit ur baby dady????

Sobz
12 Aug 2008 07:26

"Yazi mayandi the simple way to get through this is to beat that woman to a pulp. Everytime you see her, uvele nje uziphambanise umnyathele kanobom, if uyakoyisa dont give up sana one day you will finally win. There is nothing that a good slapping with both hands follwed by you pointing ur finger at her, uthi (sundjwayela kabi wena, ndzokukhabunye mna ke sisi) wont fix, I promise you it works."

Andi sana awuzalelwanga e New Brighton or eMdantsane coz le ndlela uthetha ngayo ngathi ngowapha.....ingathi ungaba bathi xa beshiywe ngumntana omncinci...athi: "sana ndakubetha qho xa ndikubona".... Ha..HA....Haaaaaa

andi01
12 Aug 2008 07:36

@Sobz LOL no actually I grew up in Khayelitsha and the similarities between Khayelitsha and Mdantsane are undisputable. Eish I remember those days, when we would sit eParkini waitng for ooK bethu, to mooer them every chance we got.

what aka mathata
12 Aug 2008 07:39

yes.

zowee
12 Aug 2008 07:41

andi01 udada Emnandi ne wena?

andi01
12 Aug 2008 07:44

@Sobz, sometime u would hear that ur man is cheating, ur group will then go and confront the other girl, and ufike pha kwiSqhova, she will be like "ewe ndiyajola noKwara ngoku ufuna uthini", and u'll be like "hay mthathe coz andimfuni, he isnt my type i was doing him a favour", and all along ur heart is sore enough u dont need a blue eye on top of that.

@Mathata- lucky you, is he also from South Africa, or did you meat him in CANADA???

felfel
12 Aug 2008 07:45

Andie gal i understand, ndingowaseKapa mna siqu, now i get the Khayelitsha in you....lol, mooering K's, chilling in tarverns.....lol

andi01
12 Aug 2008 07:47

@Zowee andi01 udada Emnandi ne wena, i used to and EMonwabisi, back in the days, but now I prefer Camps Bay and Sandy Bay (they are closer to where I stay), and also at Sandy Bay i get the chance to laugh at white men's little totolozi, coz nudity is allowed there.

andi01
12 Aug 2008 07:48

@Felfel, where about in Kaap are you from

zowee
12 Aug 2008 07:53

gal i understand, ndingowaseKapa mna siqu, now i get the Khayelitsha in you....lol, mooering K's, chilling in tarverns...Felfel this is why I stay away from amadoda ase Kltsha.

what aka mathata
12 Aug 2008 07:56

SA,MY BABY IS ARND

andi01
12 Aug 2008 08:00

@Zowee, this is why I stay away from amadoda ase Kltsha, good for you bcoz if I suspected you kweyam indoda, i would track you down, here on tVSA, with a bottle kop (from the savanah dry, i just finished drinking). LOL

@Mathata- so you both eloped to CANADA, how romantic????

zowee
12 Aug 2008 08:03

from the savanah dry, i just finished drinking. LOL
Andi01 aren't u at work mhlawumbi?

Ngqesta
12 Aug 2008 08:06

Yeke Andi01 kha utsho...I've been in CT for over 5 yrs now..where the hell is Sandy Bay?

About Camps Bay.....you don't want to be there on the 1st Jan, was driving on the Main Road late nge1st saw this boy, must have been about 21 or so, wearing iskhindi esimanzi esasisaya kubamhlophe dancing to umculo okhala eteksini, ejayva itsipa...yho zange ndabatraumatized kangaka.........

andi01
12 Aug 2008 08:08

@Zowee, andigqibosela ngoku, but i menat that figuritively kuba thina macheri was khayelitsha sidume ngokusela isavanha then sitshaye i entyi. I wase Crossroad, gugs, Ktc and nyanga (adume ngokusela istorm atshaye isniff). LOL

andi01
12 Aug 2008 08:10

@Ngqesta I've been in CT for over 5 yrs now..where the hell is Sandy Bay? between Llandudno and Camps Bay

andi01
12 Aug 2008 08:12

About Camps Bay.....you don't want to be there on the 1st Jan, was driving on the Main Road late nge1st saw this boy, must have been about 21 or so, wearing iskhindi esimanzi esasisaya kubamhlophe dancing to umculo okhala eteksini, ejayva itsipa...yho zange ndabatraumatized kangaka. ROTFLMAOL

The imagery alone has me in stiches, Ngqesta where de heck are you from. LOL

Cody
12 Aug 2008 08:12

SA,MY BABY IS ARND oh my goodness! now the spelling errors start!

zowee
12 Aug 2008 08:14

lol at you Andie01...awase Crossroad, gugs, Ktc and nyanga adume ngokusela istorm atshaye isniff ...Im glad Im from Langa

Thobeka Jeli
12 Aug 2008 08:17

mayandi sana tell her to go for the court she can get lento ayifunayo or phone there ubuze kubo first what to do cause sana nawe u have amalungelo as umfazi sukuzi hlupha once she goes there kuzokhulunga and she want get much as she getting now cause your husb is married and unabanye abantwana so ke yekela umthetho udlale indima yawo .and the boy kum he can also futseki kum uzokubamdala one day and belive me he"s going to be like he"s mom .so ke sis ndithi khuwe mayigubhe zonkayi [zonke ] sana nam ndi tshatile and this is also hapening kum but i court yayi solver yonke into and ndenza i court interdict ngakumama womntana so ke aka phoni and akhazi kwam imali yakhe uyifumana e court not kwam and sonwabile nomyeni wam xa untana ndimbizile uyeza like holidays kanje not enye into . no sukubiza nabantu bomzi ithi khuye makaye e court qa ke that the only way to solve lengxaki yakho. sisi ndi kkolwe iyasebenza kakhulu

Cnglemother
12 Aug 2008 08:19

showee Andi ungunontorotyi wase Khayelitsha kanti? LOL!

Lim Turker
12 Aug 2008 08:21

Good afternoon everybody, i am new, infact I have been a silent blogger for a while.

Cnglemother
12 Aug 2008 08:22

Hola TJ!

zowee
12 Aug 2008 08:22

Good day Lim Turker,welcome hey.

andi01
12 Aug 2008 08:25

@Zowee, awakwalanga ngamagwala, when ubafacer they cant even speak, bathi "ndihla-kalanga", instead of ndihlala kwalanga LOL.

andi01
12 Aug 2008 08:26

Hey Lim Tucker, welcome broer, are you related to Chris Tucker, if soo, I am your girlfriend starting today, and dont u say know. Chau Peeps

Thobeka Jeli
12 Aug 2008 08:27

@andi not sonke e si niffini hayibo uyasonyelisa enyanga but ke kwisi storm you can count me in

Cnglemother
12 Aug 2008 08:27

Lim Turker are u a man? welcome!

Thobeka Jeli
12 Aug 2008 08:33

@i"m speechless andi mara why usenza so ndinombono we girls wearing all black abazukhungxila yimbhali shem u langa unyanisile ngaye yena yedwa kalokhu

andi01
12 Aug 2008 08:33

@Thobeka Jeli- it isnt meanst to be offensive, qha zizinto nje ekugezelwana ngazo, look at me I dont drink savanah, so phola sisi

Beyonce
12 Aug 2008 08:35

Carino said >>Askies guys.. please dont forgot to watch Death of The Queen tonight. Just a reminder.<<<< I dont believe Carino wrote this!!!!

Ngqesta
12 Aug 2008 08:36

@andi01......originally from the Eastern Cape eTranskei to be exact but like I said...I now live in CT

felfel
12 Aug 2008 08:40

Andie ndazalelwa eZwelitsha (Mau Mau) ngase Cala Dairy, apparently iCala Dairy used to be run by an uncle of some sort. Then 10 years ago we moved to Plumstead but sister useNyanga and i go there when i'm in CT, got aunts eMakhaya (i think ko 23), abanye base Makhaza (32)..........undawuni wena?

Thobeka Jeli
12 Aug 2008 08:40

@andi i feel you sisi all the way khange ndikhathazeke ngayo yonke into suku wara
@mayndisi ja-neh khuzokulunga just give yonke lento i xesha

felfel
12 Aug 2008 08:42

Can someone please tell Glen Lewis that Shola Ama is not Shalama......

carino
12 Aug 2008 08:44

Beyonce..... Beyonce.... !!

LM
12 Aug 2008 08:46

@Felfel:Can someone please tell Glen Lewis that Shola Ama is not Shalama...tl tl tl tl tl!!!

Thobeka Jeli
12 Aug 2008 08:46

velkom [wellcame ]silent blogger LT fell @home in asbc 2 's tone or what ever you plp call it

Cnglemother
12 Aug 2008 08:46

LOL! @ Andi; felfel and Ngqesta ngemvelaphi talk.

Lim Tucker
12 Aug 2008 08:53

Lim Turker are u a man? welcome!- thanks cnglemother, and yes I am a man, (nipped and always smelling fresh)
Hey Lim Tucker, welcome broer, are you related to Chris Tucker, if soo, I am your girlfriend starting today, and dont u say know. ha ha ha, hallow Andi, I wont elaborate on the Chris issue, but please PM me your numbers so that I can holla at you about your much appreciated proposal.

I want to express my gratitude to all those that have welcome me.

Hlehle
12 Aug 2008 08:56

Andi i heard that amaLady ase Stellenbosch asela Umbesuma ( Black Label) kanti nawalapha amanye eStrand but mina andiphuzi shame.

Cnglemother
12 Aug 2008 08:57

Andi nantsi indoda 4 u, nayo ingathi iyagcwala iyachitheka ngawe, seyifuna ibhelaz zakho nge2 minutes ifikile la ekhaya. Azishe tsotsi!

andi01
12 Aug 2008 09:01

@Hlehle you need schooling on the acohol and beverages name
Umbesuma- Crackling/ Cracking device/ Autumn Harvest/ isivuno sasekwindla/ Umqhekeko/ umqoboko.
Black Label- Iwisile, uladlwayza, dlom-dlayo
Storm- Iinkqwithela, Isaqhwithi, ischotho
Hunters Dry- Abazingeli (abamileyo), ubabayo

@cnglemother- i am scared of this one, i think he is from CANADA, wearing a read shirt.

pariri
12 Aug 2008 09:02

hahahahahaah LOL Lim Tucker, welcome and enjoy ur stay
and yes I am a man, (nipped and always smelling fresh)

andi01
12 Aug 2008 09:04

Southern Comfort- Ubuntofo basemzantsi
Mellow wood- Iplanga/ "Kuze kuse"
Brandy- Giny- ables

Hlehle
12 Aug 2008 09:04

Thatha Andi nantsi ndoda yeyakho.

pariri
12 Aug 2008 09:05

LOL Andi I'm sure wathola ii distinctions zodwa kweso sikolo samagama otywala

Cande
12 Aug 2008 09:05

Carino said >>Askies guys.. please dont forgot to watch Death of The Queen tonight. Just a reminder.<<<< I dont believe Carino wrote this!!!!

She has been making spelling mistakes lately, Carino what happened to your element of being spelling-cautious?? LOL

Cnglemother
12 Aug 2008 09:08

LOL! Andi, i guess we will have to wait and see ngendaba yase-khanada but i doubt it coz uthi ukerwe nejwabi, i think ngulomhlobo wakuni joe ungenamajwabi LOL!.

Hlehle
12 Aug 2008 09:18

LOL @ Cngle ngejwabi elikeriweyo.

Hlehle
12 Aug 2008 09:23

@ Pariri wagxothwa yintoni indlwini yam yencwadi zombane?

carino
12 Aug 2008 09:23

Welcome Lim Tucker...

Brown Shuga
12 Aug 2008 09:25

Eish Mathata not here yet? I miss her. Hello blockers.

Lim Tucker
12 Aug 2008 09:25

i am scared of this one, i think he is from CANADA, wearing a read shirt- Andi please man, i dont want to come between you and mathata, LOL, by the way I am not from Canada, Big Apple maybe, but Canada for sure am not.

@cnglemother-just because I dont speak Xhosa/Zulu too well, I can read and understand a lot sisi, trust me. About ijawbi, as Leon Schuster says, it does make a great calamari LOL.

Cnglemother
12 Aug 2008 09:33

harde-harde LT, wont skinner bout ya again dawg LOL!

Hola BS, u will blog with D-maths later tonite she must be shopping for red dresses zikabhabha koPep basecanada.

andi01
12 Aug 2008 09:36

@ cnglemother LOL! Andi, i guess we will have to wait and see ngendaba yase-khanada but i doubt it coz uthi ukerwe nejwabi, i think ngulomhlobo wakuni joe ungenamajwabi- yhuuu I hope akanalo ingathi ndiyazibona sele ndixholwa lijwabi lase NEW YORK nokwenza.

@Hlehle-Thatha Andi nantsi ndoda yeyakho, ngubani othe ndifuna indoda mna, yes I like uChris Tucker, not ifotokopi yakhe.

@Pariri-LOL Andi I'm sure wathola ii distinctions zodwa kweso sikolo samagama otywala- especially kwi practicals LOL

andi01
12 Aug 2008 09:39

Kanti nma iyanditya lento ka D-Maths i think she runs away from me, coz when I am silent, i see her reponses, the moment I open lomlomo wam ingathi ngoka Julious Malema, she runs faster than I can say, C-A-N..., she doesnt even say alo to me anymore, which is sad, coz i really do miss her nam.

cobiefun
12 Aug 2008 09:39

@ngqesta how far r u kuSjura and what up with u peeps from EC le ise CT? PLZ plz tell me so i can also join you.

Pooky
12 Aug 2008 09:45

nabo o-Andile , no-felfel bezithutha hehehehe...hayi niyakwazi ukuyijika i-topic

and wena Andi ndiyangqanda dali....abantu base Gugulethu aba-snyfie kaloku sana ,sibetha nge Dunhill

Welcome LT

Mayandie gal i feel for you, really i do coz i got a feeling that this bitch aint gonna stop...she's filled with jealousy and is hell bent on making your life as miserable as hers.......izokukhonkotha ide izinxaphele le njakazi, but wena dont stop treating and loving that boy like he's your own flesh and blood.....

Heish this baby- mama topic just brings ihlaba to my heart..........
4yrs in a relationship with your man and you've just found out a month ago that you're a stepmom to a 10 month old.....this isht is hitting me so hard and i'm just filled with anger and dissapointment..............................................and now with tears, mxim eish kodwa.......i'm thinking of all the times i was being kinky and giving this mafacka ama-deep throats kanti uyazi ba he's f8&9$#$# some woman on the side...........

Nonny
12 Aug 2008 09:48

Anisasho ukuthi we have an new totolozi TVSA blogger??? Neway Lim Tucker, welcome to TVSA and cheers bloggers!!!!

Ngqesta
12 Aug 2008 09:48

@cobiefun.........ngubani kanene uSjura? Hayi kaloku iCT is a bigger EC with everything that one needs including Canal Walk, but with less crime as compared to Golisberg.

Nonny
12 Aug 2008 09:48

Just kidding LT.............I meant we have a new male blogger!!!

Nonny
12 Aug 2008 09:54

"4yrs in a relationship with your man and you've just found out a month ago that you're a stepmom to a 10 month old....."
Gosh, Pooky that is hectic, ur man has isibindi esinamathambo!!!!........it's bad to know he cheated, but what's worse is knowing he fucked another woman *probablly more than once*......without protection, what about HIV/AIDS???

cobiefun
12 Aug 2008 09:54

Mayandie i think the mother of this child feels threatened by you and i know that does not explain the bitchy behaviour ,they way i see things Gal just be patient and dont stoop to her level

Cnglemother
12 Aug 2008 09:54

tjo Pooks 4yrs yonke ndoda!

andi01
12 Aug 2008 09:54

@ Felfel-Mna I am from ekhayeltsha D section, I matriculated pha eLuhlaza high School. Ndiyakubona e Mau Mau you are closer e KTC, yhuuu uybulawa umntu pha kwezangingqi zakho sana. My ex is from eMau-Mau, but ngoku they have moved to KTC, his name is (Kwara). Anyways I have ifamily in gugs (malunga park, and crossroads,ngasemandela high school).

Ngqesta
12 Aug 2008 09:55

Heish this baby- mama topic just brings ihlaba to my heart..........
4yrs in a relationship with your man and you've just found out a month ago that you're a stepmom to a 10 month old.....this isht is hitting me so hard and i'm just filled with anger and dissapointment. Eish Pooky ..........that kind of wound never heals...however it does not kill! Chin up girl....just as long as you know that it is no reflection on you but more on him.

Nonny
12 Aug 2008 09:58

"that kind of wound never heals...however it does not kill! Chin up girl....just as long as you know that it is no reflection on you but more on him."
Well said Ngqesta!!!

andi01
12 Aug 2008 10:00

@ Pooky 4yrs in a relationship with your man and you've just found out a month ago that you're a stepmom to a 10 month old, where abouts in Gugs do you stay, i will be coming over 2nite with a hammer, a pump (leyamatayara emoto) and a playas. A hammer to crush ur man's balls, a pump to pump them up again and crush them again, and a playas to remove his ndzeft one by one. Rhaa uyakunyela lomntu lowo

cobiefun
12 Aug 2008 10:01

@Ngqesta Sjura is one of amabloggers and hey it is so nice to have Nonny back the last tym i blogged she was havin a day from hell so hi Gal!!

andi01
12 Aug 2008 10:03

Ngqesta, that kind of wound never heals...however it does not kill! Chin up girl....just as long as you know that it is no reflection on you but more on him."
eish couldnt have said better myself. He fooled you once by cheating and having a baby, that was his fault. He will fool you again by begging you to stay, that will be your fault. Honestly this isnt fair, and eyenzile nje, he will never stop, get ready to start counting all teh babies you'll be fighting about.

Cnglemother
12 Aug 2008 10:09

Pooks u just opened another can of worms ngale yakho indaba.

Pooky
12 Aug 2008 10:10

heish gents it hurts like crazy and i just dont know what to do anymore...i dont think i could ever trust him again............kunzima nokulala at times

ulapha phambi kwami ngoku as i write this( told him i'm finishing off some work, akayazi ba ndincokola namabloggaz ngaye) and i just wana throw this coffee in his face yazi..............mxiiiim

andi01
12 Aug 2008 10:17

@Pooky, just bcoz he hurt you, dont revenge him, revenge doesnt heal, it will only leave you scared even more. Dont let him change ur principles and who you are, you are far better than that. Let him believe that he is playing you, but ekugqibeleni, you will walk out girl, you will have the courage to leave him ungaziforce (trust me i know). If it still hurts then dont dump him, dump him internally,

sjura
13 Aug 2008 08:00

nca toic and nca views and opinions and expiriences....

sjura
13 Aug 2008 08:00

nca topic and nca views and opinions and expiriences....

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