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UBhungane

Written by mentalcase from the blog LOL with mentalcase... on 02 Dec 2008
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Umnumzane uNdwandwe wase Ndwedwe wayengakaze alale nomuntu wesifazane selokhu athi nhlo!!! Abadala base bembiza bebuza ukuthi yini inkinga
yakhe angalingisi abanye abafana besho ukuqonywa phela. Hhayi umfoka
Zwide abatshele ukuthi yena ulinde intombi nto ayoyiqala uma sebeku
honey moon ukulala nayo. Wagcina emthola ke azomenza umkakhe, bamsiza
ngamalobolo abadala aze agcine eganiwe nakhu phela wayengakaze asebenze.

Hhayi ke bahlale iviki elilodwa nomakoti kungenziwa lutho, aze agcine
ebuza umakoti ku mamezala ukuthi kanti umuntu uma eseganile akenziwa
lutho yini laph'ekhaya. Umamezala engazwisisi ukuthi umntanomuntu uqonde
ukuthini, kuthi uma kuphela iviki lesibili umakoti abuyele kumamezala
amtshele ukuthi ubuyela ekhaya ngoba nakubo wayedla esutha kodwa
bamtshela ukuthi okunye ukudla uyokuthola emzini, besho umphambili.
Akhuze ababaze umamezala abize undodana ambuze ukuthi kanti inkomo lena
eyafika nomakoti iyohlatshwa nini, nangu esethi uhamba nayo uyibuyisela
ekhaya. Isilima lesi siye sivutha kumalokazana, "ngizwa kuthiwa
kunenkomo owafika nayo manje usuyibuyisela kwabakini, musa ukungenza
isilima mina, leyonkomo ngeyami abakini bathi uma ngibalobolele kahle
bayonginika yona ngiyihlabe emva komshado, uthini manje???? Uthi
uyibuyisela emuva???? Angeke kwenzeke lokho kungavuka abeNguni!!!"Hhayi
ke ahlale umakoti angayi ndawo, bese umamezala enza isu lokuthi umakoti
ayotheza, kodwa ahambe nomyeni wakhe. Wamtshela ukuthi angalifaki
idilozi (penty), afike agibele esihlahleni (tree) bese ebiza umyeni
wakhe azomehlisa. Nebala enze njalo umakoti, impatha le ithi isabheka
indlela yokumehlisa, ivele ibabaze kakhulu, "Hhawu MaMhlongo usulimele
kanje, kwenzenjani?" Esho ebona inkomo kaMaMhlongo, "Cha akwenzeke
lutho, kungene ibhungane (beettle)". " Pho usungaze ulimale kangaka,
asihambe siye ekhaya. Yeka lento yokutheza." Afike ekhaya abikele umama
ukuthi umakoti uselimele kabi, ungenwe yibhungane kulento achama ngayo
manje akazi uzolikhipha kanjani

U-Mamezala amtshele ukuthi akasebenzise into yakhe yokuchama ayifake
kwekamakoti ukuze liphume ibhungane. Anikele khona umfana kaNdwandwe,
ufika endlini imilenze uyivule yonke umakoti ukuze kukhishwe ibhungane.
Aqale azame ngomunwe wakhe bese ethi "Iyashisa nayo lento yakho.
Kufanele liphume, licabanga ukuthi umuzi
walo lo, yinto yomkami yokuchama le, lizongibona kahle." Ngesikhathi
efaka umunwe wakhe umakoti ukhala ubumayemaye uzwa ubumnandi. Isilima
esiwuNwdandwe asiboni. Amemeze umamezala athi "Ngithe faka into yakho
yokuchama man!!!!!" Esho ewukhipha umthondokazi wakhe umfana kwazise vele
umakoti usemanzi te elokhu emkopa useze wachama. Waqale wawufaka
ngesihloko, wezwakala ekhala uNdwandwe ethi "Mama!!!! Wemahhh!!!!
Ngiyasha, futhi angiyitholi lento sengiyicinge onke amakhona." Amemeze
umama athi "Okuncono ufake wonke ulihlikihlele phakathi uma lingaphumi
lizofela phakathi!!!!" Amjijimeze ngomthondo umntanomuntu, lapho
akasagqumi elokhu eshilo ethi, "Angeke ngidlale ibhungane mina, ngumfazi
wami lo". Wafenda kwangathi iqolo yi nkostini, kanti ufenda nje kukhona
akuzwayo kude le phakathi enkomeni, wacindezela kuleyo ndawo engumsipha
kanti uzogcina ezwa leya ndawo eyehlula ompetha kwezokubhebha, ingani
phela iyashisa, izwakala sengathi igqakazekile. Uma uke wafika kuyo
uvuma zonke izono zakho, umthengele ibhanoyi, umemeze umama wakho.
Kwenzeka njalo ke naku Ndwandwe, wamemeza kakhulu wathi, "ma.....ma,
ma, mama wami, hhawu we...mah, selifile.....ngenze njani????" Kanti
sebenkonkoshelene nomakoti bayachama bobabili.

Baqeda lapho babanamahloni, bengasazi manje fanele benze njani,
abuyisele amehlo lapho ade kungene khona ibhungane bese ethi, "Hhayi
ulimele, lesisilonda sikude ukuphola, awubheke nje kuphuma nento
emhloshana(sperms), kukhomba khona ukuthi ifile lento." Athathe
ithawula azesule bese ethi, "Unganyakazi ngizokusula mina." Amesule
kahle ngesineke.

Aqede lapho ayobikela umama wakhe, "Mama uxole ngomsindo nami ayikho
into ebengingayenza, kumnandi ukukhipha ibhungane". Athi umama, "Yiyo ke
inkomo le umakoti ayethi uyibuyisela ekhaya, yiyo le abathi abakubo
uyoyihlaba emva komshado. Kusukela namuhla alikho elamahhala, kumele
uyihlabe. Uyizwile ke ukuthi imnandi kanjani, ngeyakho wedwa
mntanami,uyidle nangomlomo, akusiso isilonda umbala wayo yiwo lo".
Ajabule undodana abuyele ku makoti kube ukumbheka nje aqhanyelwe, wathi,
"Ake ngibone ukuthi sesinjani isilonda, amvulele umakoti, ayithinte
kancane bese eyiphenya kahle ayibukisise, kwazise bandla akayazi lento
emva kwalokho athinte ubhontshisi ngolimi, wawuncela, wafaka ulimi
phakathi waluhambisa phezulu, lapho ke nomakoti usewubambe ngezakhe
izandla umthondo womyeni wakhe, uwufaka emlonyeni, awukhiphe azishaye
ngawo ebusweni, angazi ukuthi uzoyenzenjani lento emnandi kangaka.

Wawufaka umfoka Zwide kwazise usengumphetha, usefenda nje kahle
akasajahile ukubulala ibhungane. Uma esefuna nje, uyishaya nge "code",
"Ake ngikhiphe ibhungane s'thandwa sami."

Waze wakhulelwa umntanomuntu, ugogo ejabule kakhulu wathi igama

lomzukulu wakhe "IBHUNGANE".



23 Comments

Boikanyo
02 Dec 2008 10:46

bantu benkosi sfelani kangaka.
mentalcase 4 sure................

Boikanyo
02 Dec 2008 10:46

bantu benkosi sfelani kangaka.
mentalcase 4 sure................

Firstdvd
03 Dec 2008 06:01

Sobza
03 Dec 2008 07:07

I saw this joke about a year ago. Its stale

Floh
03 Dec 2008 07:21

Bhungane......................

Boikanyo
03 Dec 2008 07:53

LOL@ Sobza

Firstdvd
03 Dec 2008 06:01

Sobza
03 Dec 2008 07:07

I saw this joke about a year ago. Its stale

Floh
03 Dec 2008 07:21

Bhungane......................

Boikanyo
03 Dec 2008 07:53

LOL@ Sobza

PY
03 Dec 2008 08:29

Yho imnandi le-joke or e-mail yakho mental case....i could'nt stop laughing..
does this means that the Zulu man are stuborn like this coz the jokes are always about the.... Zulu man this..... Zulu man that

tha - bang
03 Dec 2008 09:02

translation please

Dimago
03 Dec 2008 09:33

hau bathong...english please....

Nonny
03 Dec 2008 09:36

*tripple sigh*

Nonny
03 Dec 2008 09:36

*tripple sigh*

mentalcase
03 Dec 2008 12:47

Shuga babe
03 Dec 2008 12:52

mmmmm,  nc nc nc nc *shaking my head*

mentalcase
03 Dec 2008 12:55

PPs
1. If you got nothing to say its fine bantu.......
2.Sorry about the language.These are just jokes that I come across that make me laugh.Its not easy to translate.....
3. About the Zulu issue....FYI  my dad is sotho, my mom is zulu and both were raised by xhosa so I have no ethnic issues whatsoever......

At least I tried to be nice in my reply nhe....Am trying to shake off the mental problem, the pills are too damn expensive .......

PS: maybe I shud say thank you for viewing my blogg.I'll make sure I alternate the lingos....
Almost 4got......WE are all ........., but we differ in the degree of.....
You shud know it by now.

Nonny
03 Dec 2008 12:57

Almost 4got......WE are all ........., but we differ in the degree of.....
You shud know it by now.

kwa kwa kwa kwa mentalcase u always make me LOL

mentalcase
03 Dec 2008 12:47

Shuga babe
03 Dec 2008 12:52

mmmmm,  nc nc nc nc *shaking my head*

mentalcase
03 Dec 2008 12:55

PPs
1. If you got nothing to say its fine bantu.......
2.Sorry about the language.These are just jokes that I come across that make me laugh.Its not easy to translate.....
3. About the Zulu issue....FYI  my dad is sotho, my mom is zulu and both were raised by xhosa so I have no ethnic issues whatsoever......

At least I tried to be nice in my reply nhe....Am trying to shake off the mental problem, the pills are too damn expensive .......

PS: maybe I shud say thank you for viewing my blogg.I'll make sure I alternate the lingos....
Almost 4got......WE are all ........., but we differ in the degree of.....
You shud know it by now.

Nonny
03 Dec 2008 12:57

Almost 4got......WE are all ........., but we differ in the degree of.....
You shud know it by now.

kwa kwa kwa kwa mentalcase u always make me LOL


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