There comes a time when a team must put away their ugly hats and paper underwear and walk off into the sunset together. That time finally came for Teri and Ian.
I was never a big fan of Teri and Ian, even on their original season, so I am not exactly weeping into my martini tonight. They were a strong team so it’s a bit of a surprise they didn’t last longer, but their form, like Teri’s Botox, was only temporary.
Luck be a loony tonight
Fortune favours the brave, as the saying goes, and that certainly proved to be the case this episode. Fortune gave those teams who decided to play it safe the cold shoulder while she flashed the risk-takers a bit of skin and slipped her number into their shirt pockets.
The bigger the risk, the better the pay-off was. Charla and Mirna’s wild grasp at a standby seat on a Johannesburg flight netted them a fantastic lead, thanks in no small part to a Good Samaritan named Christo. The hero of the hour helped them get onto the plane, somehow showing the patience of the saint in the process as this was after all the asylum escapees known as Charla and Mirna. The things some people have to do to get on TV.
Even if Charla and Mirna had not met the miracle-worker Christo, I have a feeling they’d have weaseled their way onto that flight. Mirna would have declared Charla as carry-on luggage and made it anyway.
Teri/Ian and the Guidos on the other hand decided that nothing was as important as staying in line. While the younger teams made like Barack Obama and embraced change by going to an open office, the two Oldster teams stubbornly stood in line mumbling about “durn kids nowadays” under their breath. This cost them terribly. There’s a lesson in all of this about how we should never respect our elders and elect the Jonas Brothers as the leaders of the world, or something.
You can never fully predict who Fortune will take a shine to and this bore out when Eric and Dani(elle) were kicked off the plane just as they’d gotten on. Excuse me for a second while I savour this moment.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Apparently, the airline mistook the two of them for someone else and gave them seats they weren’t supposed to. Understandable really. I mistake Eric and Dani(elle) for a Ken Doll and a pot plant all the time. Dani(elle) was incensed the airline had kicked them off when they had already boarded. Could have been worse – they could have kicked you off when you were already in the air.
Who put happy pills in the teams’ water bottles?
After all the hostility between some teams in previous episodes, you’d expect more of the same, but the teams were surprisingly nice to each other. The worst reaction anyone showed towards any of the contestants was when Charla and Mirna’s taxi driver gave them a death glare after one of their stupid comments. I see they’re charming the locals as well as the other teams.
The Chas were stuck with the Cousins for most of the leg but were good-natured about it, helping Charla with her sea sickness in between banter about working the docks and praying to dead grandmothers. Charla and Mirna did not get the Chas’ subtle (as a sledgehammer) jokes because they were in the line for self-righteousness back when God was handing out senses of humour
Danny and Ozzy did threaten to trade Charla in for food at one point but I’m pretty sure they were joking. They’d get a lot more food for Mirna anyway. The interaction between Uchenna/Joyce and the BQs was similarly affable, with Uchenna jokingly threatening to sell Dustin and Kandice into white slavery. I’d wager there are more than a few teams who would like to see that happen for real.
Remember those previews which made it look like Uchenna was going to botch the Roadblock really badly? They lied. It wasn’t even ordinary misdirection, it was an all-out lie. Uchenna did great at the Roadblock. Curse you, Show, how can you do this to me? Must I pull a Mirna here and lecture you on how lies blacken the soul and cause the tongue to rot?
The Danny and Ozzy variety hour
The Chas were in top form this episode. Not just racing-wise, but humour-wise as well. Danny and Ozzy have actually been the one team that have not only lived up to my memory of them but actually upped their awesome factor.
Among their many memorable moments for me was the shoutout they gave to that other brilliant reality show, Project Runway when they asked “Where’s Andrae?” I really want a crossover episode now. Heidi Klum and Tim Gunn can go on TAR as Team Make It Work, and the TAR contestants can compete in a challenge to make Charla a new swimswuit to replace that frilly monstrosity she’s currently using.
The one mistake they made was stopping for some fruit when they were in the lead. They reaped the fruits of their labour and Charla and Mirna passed them while they were acting fruitier than usual. A bit of a melonhead move for sure. Danny and Ozzy had a chance to catch up at the Roadblock but alas Danny could not hit his target before Mirna hit hers. Oh well, at least they managed to get the obligatory joke about limp-wrists in – I’d be disappointed if they had let such an obvious one go.
Charla and Mirna cemented their place as the new Rob and Amber (Mob and Chamber?) by claiming another first. Phil awarded them a 12-foot catamaran. What the hell is Charla going to do with a 12-foot catamaran anyway? An inflatable tube and an egg-whisker would have been more useful.
Next week: TAR moves to Monday night. Also, planes really, really hate Eric and Dani(elle) and the Guidos.
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