Looks like Joe and Bill get to go home to Guido the dog and regular facials. I’m not really turned out about their elimination as they were less entertaining villains and more grumpy old men this time around.
I am however disappointed that they did not get to outlast Eric and Dani(elle). The editing couldn’t inject any tension as to whether they were thirty minutes ahead of Eric and Dani(elle) as you could literally see Eric’s horse in the background of the shot of the Guidos stepping onto the mat.
On the subject of editing, didn’t the editing come across as rather schizophrenic during the episode? The first half was so grim and sombre compared to the second half, which resembled some kind of live-action Wacky Races – if Wacky Races had had an Armenian numbnut abusing taxi drivers and dwarfs, at any rate.
No joking matter
I was in a state of despair for the first half of the episode. Not only because of the overwhelming sense of loss but because there was pretty much no light-hearted material to write about. You try finding something funny in a sequence about Auschwitz.
There was one brief interlude of comedy when Bill and Joe talked about how much more brainpower they had than Eric and Dani(elle), followed by a shot of them wandering about aimlessly searching for a cluebox that was right in front of them. Hey, they said brainpower. They said nothing about eyepower.
Then the show got serious again. The editors spent about fifteen minutes making sure we understood that the race visiting the concentration camp was a Very Serious Moment. They put away the banjos of wackiness in favour of the violins of anguish.
The teams were suitably affected by the area, especially Charla and Mirna, and the Chas/Guidos, on account of being Armenian and gay respectively. Eric somehow managed to make the experience all about his and Dani(elle)’s relationship by saying something like “Wow, this really puts my petty fights with Dani(elle) into perspective”. Because the most important thing about the murder of one million people is clearly how it makes him look at his fake relationship.
Even when teams left the concentration camp, the show kept reminding us of how the experience had affected them. Uchenna reflected on whether humanity would ever stop being…well, human, and live in peace and harmony and all that other cool stuff. He was happy that the camp was still standing as a reminder to the event because it was something that people should never forget. I think that’s not likely to happen any time soon, especially with the 27 holocaust films released monthly. Have you seen the Reader in the Striped Defiant Pyjamas yet?
Strategic planning
Thankfully, the producers eventually remembered this was a fun reality show and not a History Channel documentary, and moved on from the oh-so-cheery topic of genocide. The teams were faced with an Intersection, that silly new addition from last season that has teams working together to complete a task.
Quite a few legs this season have been designed poorly and this one was no exception, as the Intersection essentially forced a few hours of penalty on the third team to arrive. Dustin and Kandice were the unlucky losers to get there third and had no choice but to wait for the second bus, while the Chas and Uchenna/Joyce won an automatic Fast Forward. Lord, is Manto Tshabalala-Msimang designing these legs? Why the hell is the planning so bad?
Entertainment-wise, things turned out better. The first team from the trailing bus to arrive at the Intersection was the Cousins, so the two were forced to work with hated enemies, the BQs, while the Guidos had to work with Eric/Dani(elle). Surprisingly, all of the teams got along with each other rather well. The BQs and the Cousins especially found themselves bonding over a sausage Detour. Who knew cold meats were so conducive to female bonding?
Sausage fest
As if to make up for all the tissues and Prozac viewers may have needed for the first half of the show, the sausage-stuffing Detour as full of as much laughs as unidentified pork products. It was like a spam email brought to life – three blondes and a midget swallowing giant sausages. Much talk was made over length and girth of the sausages – the Guidos especially seemed to know all about sizing up the length of meaty sausages. Why am I not surprised? The only sad thing was that the Chas weren’t there; you can imagine how many puns and jokes they would have made about this particular Detour.
The Guidos turned out to be the best at eating sausage, while Eric and Charla were the worst at it. Mirna encouraged Charla in her trademark gentle way – by haranguing and squawking at her. The BQs could not hold back their laughter…or their dinner for that matter – luckily there was a bucket at hand. Charla too graced us with a puke scene, this one lovingly filmed in detail by the editors. Why do I suddenly feel like I’m in some creepy German fetish video? Just because she’s a little person doesn’t mean she vomits more interestingly than the rest of us, editors.
Mirna continued her drive into Screeching Harpyville. Besides making poor Charla feel like crap, she also behaved appallingly to a couple of taxi-drivers, ordering them around like dogs and acting incensed when they expected payment for their services. If this were any other contestant, I’d say she was frustrated with having to deal with icy-faced Poles and took out her frustrations on the cabbies, but this is Mirna we’re talking about. She acts like an entitled lunatic all the time.
At least the taxi drivers were eventually rid of her. Charla still has to deal with her barking seal of a cousin. When Charla tried to explain how the hand brake on their car worked, an irate Mirna told her not to tell her what to do. Oh, the irony! Charla just took Mirna’s bitching about how she never did anything, looking like some sad little battered wife in the backseat of the car. Mirna, you dizzy bitch, you wouldn’t even be on this show if it wasn’t for Charla!
Even when Charla donned hobbit-sized armour for the Roadblock and had to lead around a horse three times as big as she was, Mirna was relentless. Charla had quite the trial trying to deal with the braying beast, not to mention the horse. If you were willing to overlook the rampant dwarf mistreatment, Charla in a suit of armour falling on her face provided slapstick aplenty. Still, it was disappointing that there was not more slapstick, specifically Charla slapping Mirna with a stick.
Next week: Charla and Mirna piss off yet another team, but it’s Eric and Dani(elle) so I’m not complaining. More disturbingly, the Chas fight. No, not the Chas! This is like finding out the Easter Bunny isn’t real!