SOUTH AFRICA'S TV WEBSITE
SIGN IN SEARCH MENU
SOUTH AFRICA'S TV WEBSITE


Caught between a rock and a hard place

Written by blaq_lolipop from the blog TALES OF A WOMAN on 21 May 2009
Favourite this post


I have been having an internal dilema for a very long time and finally figured there could be some people here who could help... and no this is not meant to be a Sis Dolly sort of thing.. but here it goes...

Ok to give some meat to the story.... I am currently in a relationship and have been with my man for almost two years.. ( i know it sounds very Sis Dolly already but hey...) The thing is ever since i was a little girl, mostly ever since my parents divorced almost 15 years ago, I told everyone that cared to listen that i was never going to entertain the whole thing of dating/marrying a black men. Especially after seeing the "traditional" rituals we had to go through during the divorce process to "protect us" from whatever my father could have decided to do to us. I figured white people did not believe in such and i didnt really believe in it myself so to reduce the likelyhood that i ever had to do them in my family i decided white was the way to go. 

I then went abroad to study and trust me the search for the perfect white man started but never really went anywhere... i mean the ones i met and liked were already taken and the rest had habits i could not deal with. I finally decided to give this whole dating thing a go anyway..(i was 22 and thought it was about time otherwise i would have had to be a nun or something... ) and the first person i dated was a black man... my mother was not impressed to say the least... she went the whole "i thought you were going to marry a white man, surely after what your father has put us through, you would know better..." anyway the relationship ended after a year, much to my mothers joy but a year later i started dating my current man who also happens to be a black man. 

now the thing is i am back home and have been going to these "African" churches where they "claim" to be able to tell your future some what. The numerous visits i have accompanied my mother to the different numerous churches, i have been told that i am destined to marry a white man and that my current relationship is just a waste of time as it will ultimately end up in divorce. (I must admit i was shocked this thing has come up 5 times already with different visits to different places not linked in any way. i have also been told there are somethings that are wrong with my man and that he will never be able to take care of whatever family we have, if ever  financially etc. my mother is adamant that we should break it off within the year and start prayin for my white man to "make his appearance and rescue me..". 

I am now caught and confused about a lot of things...
Should i believe all these things they are telling me? (I personally dont believe anyone on earth can predict your future but if 5 different people who would have never met tell you the same story i am baffled...)
Should i tell my man about all these things?
Should i remain with him although i know our future is doomed? I just cant break up with him and wait for some guy that myt never turn up...

I guess the saddest thing is that he is the best man anyone could ever ask for and i am totally happy being with him. he is already speaking of marriage and getting our family started and all those things i think i am ready for but... heish the dilema is killing me..

so bloggers have you ever had a life prediction that leaves you in a predicament and how did you ever deal with it?



86 Comments

blaq_lolipop
20 May 2009 17:19

mathata ke the image uploading... le tlaa nkinela diatla mashing....

mjj
20 May 2009 22:30

I read the 1st line and already i'm seeing Drum's postal address..............Let me continue reading

mjj
20 May 2009 22:39

my mother was not impressed to say the least... she went the whole "i thought you were going to marry a white man, surely after what your father has put us through, you would know better..." Tell me you are joking? Is your mother by any chance friends with the character of Brooke Logan-Forrester-Forrester-Forrester-Forrester?

mjj
20 May 2009 22:43

the numerous visits i have accompanied my mother to the different numerous churches, i have been told that i am destined to marry a white man and that my current relationship is just a waste of time as it will ultimately end up in divorce...............This is bull and i hope an educated person like you, won't believe such ludicrous fabrications..................

mjj
20 May 2009 22:46

my mother is adamant that we should break it off within the year and start prayin for my white man to "make his appearance and rescue me..". .............................Now this is where i stop......................where did they get your mother? Is this story real? Or r u an Isidingo writer? Trust me judging by their ARs lately....they need creative writers and your story would boost their ratings.........

mjj
20 May 2009 22:49

Should i remain with him although i know our future is doomed?....How do you know the future is doomed? Where is Cleve and BA with their Bible session..........They need to be revived.............PRONTO.................This is the part where i have to ask......which country and which course/degree did you do? I'm just asking.....

TDC - please come to this blog...........your services r needed

mjj
20 May 2009 22:55

guess the saddest thing is that he is the best man anyone could ever ask for and i am totally happy being with him. he is already speaking of marriage and getting our family started and all those things i think i am ready for but... heish the dilema is killing me.. ..................this is no dilema at all......the only dilema is your MOTHER and these people that r feeding you with rubbish............the man loves you for heaven's sake....and all you do is trying to find faults that r not there....................BE GLAD YOU HAVE A MAN THAT LOVES YOU and willing to Marry you..........................you r blessed...........................Nkosazana-Zuma is single and i'm sure she would love to be in your position (have a man that loves her and wants to marry her).....................no offence intended to the Minister of Home Affairs.........i was trying to make a point..............DOn;t forget to tell me the name of your university and yout Degree

Phikza
20 May 2009 22:58

lol @ Brooke Logan-Forrester-to the power of 3

Phikza
20 May 2009 23:04

LOL...mjj pheza ngoku...tl tl tl tl tl

mjj
20 May 2009 23:11

Hayi Phikza nawe camanga the chances of this story being true? I'm really shocked..................

Kakapana
20 May 2009 23:36

lol at mjj

blaq_lolipop
20 May 2009 23:44

hey Mjj...  where do i start... 

No my mother is NOT friends with Brooke ha hahaha and I guess to see it from her perspective, she did go thru a lot of s$%t after my dad left and being a firm believer mo boloing she is just trying to reduce the chances that it does happen to me thats all...

well the thing is i am NOT a beliver in such really and I never really wanted to go to all these places but mum wanted to make sure "we had shaken off the curse, if any" that had to do with my dad and these sort of things came up... i was a huge sceptic at first but when it kept recurring i was begining to think otherwise... 

o bo o kare where did they get my mother le wena.. ha ha ha and YES this is real... 

Should i remain with him although i know our future is doomed?.... well maybe that should be rephrased because i DONT know that our future is doomed but have been made to believe it is... 

i am from a little village in Botswana and completed my dental therapy course last year... and yes being from a science background its pretty hard for me to believe anyway but i thought i could share and maybe reinforce my believe that life throws at you what you can deal with... 

i know that i have been blessed with a good man etc and as i said.. i am totally happy with him... the thing is i keep hearing of this "white man" i am meant to be with from my mother and siblings (esp my brother) and well its hard to be in a relationship your family is thinking is doomed and have their support to do all the things my man and i are intending to do eg marriagee etc...

sorry i didnt copy and paste the questions as i went along... didnt want another article within the article.. lol and hope i answered your questions satisfactorily...

Lela
21 May 2009 00:16

Sana first of all God is real and He does use prophets to convey messages to us about the future but one thing is He doesn't speak anything He has not already laid in your spirit because Prophets of God are not sangomas and God will never confuse you so when it is from Him, if you are a believer you will know and be at peace with it. Are you sure the so called Prophets were not being used by your mother cz God is not racist.

blaq_lolipop
21 May 2009 05:11

I am 100% sure the people we met were not sangomas... they were from different churches.. you know the more African churches and they are/were not being paid anything when they made these "prophecies" and have never been paid anything since then too. About the "racist" bit well, they basically put it in such a way that "il never be happy with someone of the same skin colour as me.. being black as i am not destined to be with them but with a white man."  

the thing is the whole "if you are a believer , you will know and be at peace with it" is the part that i am stuck with, if i choose to believe whats next?

Firstdvd
21 May 2009 07:08

The choice is yours LoliP...Your mom needs to support and respect your decisions...This is all about you and your happiness

Mathaz
21 May 2009 08:07

This issue with the "prophecy" came about because you are fixated with the idea of getting married to a white man as if they are immune to divorce. 

myname
21 May 2009 08:11

Morning guys,

Babes i stay out of these prophets, sangoma...u name them. I actually dont need a fortune teller or something like that. You get confused & u dont know what 2 do.

Dear cant you concentrate 2 ur man & what u r feeling about him rite now. Stop wanting 2 satisfy ur mother. When she dies (im not saying she is going 2 die), u'll b alone waiting for that white man. This is ur life & make it crystal clear that u gonna live it whether with black/white man or married /single. 

Dont do something u'll regret later.

Lastly, doll its not nice 2 be ALONE, trust me. U r 1 of the luckiest women 2 have some1 so dont blow it! 

BTW Im still single guys LOL.....................Hi Mjj, ubloga wedwa sana hihihi

felfel
21 May 2009 08:24

maybe the white man is tha devil himself sent by ur father to curse ur relationship.

Just do wat makes u happy. U urself have been very fixated on the whole thing of a future with a white man that maybe those prophets picked that up and are telling u to do that now as if its ur destiny, otherwise maybe uyathwasa unenkenqe hence the gravitation towards white men, kwazibani,lol...

Lessie
21 May 2009 08:24

This issue with the "prophecy" came about because you are fixated with the idea of getting married to a white man as if they are immune to divorce. I could not have said it better. Ever heard of law of attraction???? Just don't waste the poor guy's time (current boyfriend...... that is)

HARAMBE24
21 May 2009 08:25

guess the saddest thing is that he is the best man anyone could ever ask for and i am totally happy being with him. he is already speaking of marriage and getting our family started and all those things i think i am ready for but... heish the dilema is killing me.. 

stay with the bratha gal

mjj
21 May 2009 08:27

I'm glad u guys saw this blog ngoba mna it confused me......really now......if this was God's message u wouldn't be confused......can u give is the name of these churches u talking about?

Katlegom
21 May 2009 08:33

and the first person i dated was a black man... my mother was not impressed to say the least... 
so your mom is encouraging you to have a white boyfie, yho!!!

nice
21 May 2009 08:39

As I read the article I was trying to figure out if your mom is a white person, and your dad was black hence her being agaisnt you marrying a black man.

What makes you think that if you marry a white man you will not be subjected to divorce, and ever heard the saying that the heart is biggest whitch and should you find this white man that you so want and end up divorcing (Gob forbid) if he is unhappy utlo tshwara wena le bana ba hao ka pelo and you may be cursed for dear life 

Many people in the black culture divorce and I must admit it is the first time I hear that there are rituals that are performed to remove any curses that you may inherit for your fathers family. For crying out loud, you are your dad's child and as much as he separated with your mother he still loves you and will never wish you any harm even if your mother refuses to let him see you.

I grew up in traditional African churches dear and when the phophecy they have NEVER referred to any person's colour and if anything they would be disgusted with you marrying a white man because some of them are so traditional they believe that a white man has no culture and will strip you off that too. What I can assume is that you heard only what you THOUGHT they said because it is what you wanted to hear (that you will never be happy with a black man). 

The mind is impressed by repitition dear and keep on convincing yourself that you will never be happy with a black man and you wont, and in the process will lose the man that you have and POSSIBLY that God has chosen for you because you want a white man. Tjeerrrr

nice
21 May 2009 08:43

uyathwasa unenkenqe, 

felfel,
or anyone else please translate that for me!!

therapy
21 May 2009 08:49

i'm finding it hard to believe this story-i'm sorry

maud
21 May 2009 09:08

churches where they "claim" to be able to tell your future some what.  no church can determine your future,

vallie
21 May 2009 09:10

you say your mother is the one taking you to these churches, what if she is the one telling all these prophets what to say to you, i mean she sounds like a woman who would stop at nothing to see you married to ingamla. personally i do not believe in all that mambo jambo and if i were you i would just focus on the man in my life. u have no idea how lucky you are to have a man who adores you and who is even willing to commit himself to you. it seems like your mother is trying to live her dream through you.

Cande
21 May 2009 09:10

me too therapy, khona what type of churches tell a person that they were destined to marry a white person? Sorry guys but what churches are those?

Amza
21 May 2009 09:12

This somehow sounds like a story line for some drama/soapie, maybe Genrubbishh...

Amza
21 May 2009 09:13

I dont believe it either, 'African churches" please name and shame the church...

dali
21 May 2009 09:17

lmao @ mjj analysing en scruitinizing the article bit by bit............... this is not real

myname
21 May 2009 09:29

Ukae Lollipop? Bantu kanyaka de ansa doll....This is ur blog sis

Smilo
21 May 2009 09:34

 The numerous visits i have accompanied my mother to the different numerous churches, 
Why is your mother always accompanying you and is it you or your mother ofuna ukwazi nge future yakho????

HARAMBE24
21 May 2009 09:35

lollipop...is ure black man a gud shag?

Smilo
21 May 2009 09:36

"traditional" rituals we had to go through during the divorce process to "protect us" from whatever my father could have decided to do to us.  What rituals are you talking about? Is your father by any chance moloi or what???? Umama kho umlungu???

JadaPinkett
21 May 2009 09:39

Ok to give some meat to the story.... I am currently in a relationship and have been with my man for almost two years.. ( i know it sounds very Sis Dolly already but hey...)..............WoW m glad u can notice that this is too Sis Dolly............LOL

Katlegom
21 May 2009 09:39

Especially after seeing the "traditional" rituals we had to go through during the divorce process to "protect us" from whatever my father could have decided to do to us.
protect you from your own father, what trational rituals are those, how does a divorce connect with culture???
never heard of anything like these!

Smilo
21 May 2009 09:39

(I personally dont believe anyone on earth can predict your future but if 5 different people who would have never met tell you the same story i am baffled...) 
      
Your mother met them before taking you there...

GML
21 May 2009 09:40

I think your mom went to all those churches and told them what she wanted you to hear. Your life must be your own experience and not your moms. Seems to me like she wants to live her life through you.

If he's such a good man, why not? You are the one who is gonna end up with him not your mom. You should decide. Not all black men are like your dad.

Smilo
21 May 2009 09:44

I guess the saddest thing is that he is the best man anyone could ever ask for and i am totally happy being with him.
Please go look for Mr White, and leave the black man for black sisters, you don't deserve him at all...

Sis Dolly
21 May 2009 09:45

The thing is ever since i was a little girl, mostly ever since my parents divorced almost 15 years ago, I told everyone that cared to listen that i was never going to entertain the whole thing of dating/marrying a black men.

Hope you're not one of the so-called black brothers/sisters who associate everything white with superioty and being black is always not good enough. Thats the impression I get from your post anyway. Still can not believe in 2009 we still have people making such comment ' my mother was not impressed to say the least... she went the whole "i thought you were going to marry a white man' 

This whole church thing shame, I really dont believe it at all. You went to these churches having made your own conclusions already. Why did you go there  first place.  You just wanted the confirmation right and you got it, now why is this a dilema?

Poor guy - he doesnt know he's inlove with someone who only sees him as a 'black brother' who could possibly bring a curse in her life.

'my mother is adamant that we should break it off within the year and start prayin for my white man to "make his appearance and rescue me..". hayi hayi iyandoyikisa ke le

Cande
21 May 2009 09:50

I find you and your mother and your prophets racists. I thought marriage was about love,compatibility, trust but not race. It doesnt mean if your father was a monster every black man is a monster. makgoa ba re tshega ausi ka dilo tse di tshwanang le tse wena le mme wa gago le di buang. SIES!!!

GML
21 May 2009 09:52

@Cande: Dont write in Sotho please. She probably doesnt understand it because of the white mentality that she adopted when she was young

Amza
21 May 2009 09:56

Dont write in Sotho please. She probably doesnt understand it because of the white mentality that she adopted when she was young

@GML
hahahahahaha...wakakaka..Lol

dali
21 May 2009 10:01

heh we have a sis dolly around here? didnt know 

hi sis dolly

Ms. Jay
21 May 2009 10:02

Lolipop -

1. these places you refer to as churches are not churches of God - they profess a form of godliness but deny the power of God.....they are prophets of doom who use water mediums and fleeces to "forcast" your future. Ususally a gloomy future coz they father / god is non other satan himself who is a zhing zhong of the real Alpha and Omega who does not forcast doom and gloom - rather peace; joy; love etc....yes there are consequences of sin but thats in reference to something else and marrying a "black" person is not a sin.

2. God is not a racist - remember that race came after creation Gen 11 after the tower of babel when people were now disbursbed (check my spelling) according to tongue and as you moved around the earth the color / shade of your skin was determined by weather - you either got lighter or darker; in the word - God sees you as a spirit not color. So he definately would not say marry a "white" and not a "black". He does however encourage you to marry a born again (if u are born again). The reference to light and darkness is not skin color its spirit - light being of God and darkness of Satan

3. You mum is hurt and resentful and will try at all costs to punish someone / anyone even you - [may not be her concious intention]

4. White folks definately have their own short comings! Divroce is not just a black thing - whites also feel its a white thing - ITS A PEOPLE thin......Stop and ask yourself this - how would HIS folks [white] feel about their son marrying a black person and producing a colored baby? Not all of them woul be so excited and loving - thats hard core truth....."some" of us need to still get past this racism issue...how would you cope with that all your life????

5. @ some point in my life when I was like 14 our house maid who belonged to these sects "prophesied" I would marry a tall white man - until I got born again huni - I clung that lie - guess what - I am married to a 100% short black man and we are very very very happy together - yes we fight - [normal] but we are beyond glad with other!!!!!????

Do not pay any attention to that hogwash!!! it will get you nowhere very fast

cleve
21 May 2009 10:02

I mean really, what happens when you meet the "white" man and hurts you? So which race are you going to marry?? Try Indians maybe they will put you out of your misery.

Sis Dolly
21 May 2009 10:04

Hi dali, I've been around for while now. I'm just a silent blogger

Ms. Jay
21 May 2009 10:10

Dont write in Sotho please. She probably doesnt understand it because of the white mentality that she adopted when she was young

@GML hahahahahaha...wakakaka..Lol

nci...never thought of that......lol

Ms. Jay
21 May 2009 10:14

I mean really, what happens when you meet the "white" man and hurts you? So which race are you going to marry?? Try Indians maybe they will put you out of your misery. LMAO - @ this comment

guys maybe she is really confused and we now jus assume she is a racist herself........remember she has been hurt and this white is right thing is just a reaction........if she had said she was preferring women to men would we be saying the same thing?????

dali
21 May 2009 10:15

oh i c....r u the real sis dolly from drum magazine

Ms. Jay
21 May 2009 10:17

okay the doctor in me just came out there - let me get back to work and stop trying to play pyscologist!!!!!! huni whatever you decide remember that u live with the consequences not your mummy dearest; TVSA blogger or your neighbour

MsDee
21 May 2009 10:39

From what I gather your mom’s and pa’s was a bitter break up. Your mom is obviously still hurting and will try do all to protect you from all that…you need to be the rational one in this, we know how women can get when badly burnt regardless of age-we tend to lose ourselves a bit. I know my mom and dad got separated two years ago.

One more thing- take it from a black girl with two white ex’s. White men at end of day are exactly that…men. What black men do so does whites. You need to judge by individuality not color. Believe me I slept for three days straight coz of a white man correction coz of a man. Hurt!

Katlegom
21 May 2009 10:46

The daughter of Jacob Zuma, Dudu Zuma, made a grand entrence ia a black Aston Martin at  her 27th birthday party that cost R400 000 in Sandton on tuesday night.
Hew!!


Khayi Mbau was at the party too, LOL!

http://www.thetimes.co.za/Entertainment/Article.aspx?id=1003571

cleve
21 May 2009 10:54

Katlego and you links>.................. LOL

myname
21 May 2009 10:59

Hello Sis Dolly, where have u been? I almost 4got about u yhazi, dont b a stranger tu....

felfel
21 May 2009 11:02

"Let them eat cake and drink french champange while the masses starve and don't have fresh water. ".........


LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cande
21 May 2009 11:06

LOL to that felfel

Katlegom
21 May 2009 11:08

what surprises me is the fact the all the guests at  the party were given goodie bags(gifts), is it not supposed to be the other way round?

vallie
21 May 2009 11:10

aowa bathong i thought this blog is about lollipop and her "dilemma" leave the zuma's alone, 
btw who paid for the party.lol

faraimagic
21 May 2009 11:13

lemme read this!

Amza
21 May 2009 11:20

what surprises me is the fact the all the guests at the party were given goodie bags(gifts), is it not supposed to be the other way round?

@Katlego,
Not really a gift is regarded to as a thank you(for celebrating with us)  gesture, it is like the ones we get from the wedding and parties...I attended one party this past tuesday and got a thank you Hamper which was kinda cool..

Katlegom
21 May 2009 11:23

@Katlego, Not really a gift is regarded to as a thank you(for celebrating with us) gesture, it is like the ones we get from the wedding and parties...I attended one party this past tuesday and got a thank you Hamper which was kinda cool..
@Amza, is this the same party?



aowa bathong i thought this blog is about lollipop and her "dilemma" leave the zuma's alone
vallie, i thought we should chat about something realistic, LOL!


Sana Lwam
21 May 2009 11:25

mjj you are ***killing me softly*** with ur replies...

There is an element of untruthfulness kwesi' story sako sana.
First of all most of these churches/sangomas will ask you what  ur problem is and after that they will tell you exactly what you wanna hear.

So you mean ur mama will be happy with whatever xghaxgha u bring home?

One advise from me: Stop playing the poor black guys, some people are in dire need of men. Futhi not to be blatant or anything but your mother will not be around for long (death or something else) and you will end up resenting her.

Amza
21 May 2009 11:33

@Amza, is this the same party? 

@Katlego, not actually it wasnt, I would have been the first to publish it believe me...

Katlegom
21 May 2009 11:40

@Katlego, not actually it wasnt, I would have been the first to publish it believe me...
but i suppose the party you attended was of the same standard of Dudu
phela high class parties are normally thrown during weekdays and they give goodie bags

blaq_lolipop
21 May 2009 11:46

From what I gather your mom’s and pa’s was a bitter break up. Your mom is obviously still hurting and will try do all to protect you from all that… EXACTLY!!!! thank you MsDee... my mother is not some lady who would go around asking people to convince me that i need to get with a white man... i mean at the end of the day she was hurt and most of her family has been hurt (ie divorced..) and i think looking back at everything she found that the common denominator was a black man and is just trying to protect me thats all... and YES she is obviously still hurting and i know that is influencing her perspecitve on the whole thing...

And NO i am clearly NOT being racist... i am a proud black woman, have only dated black men so far and have never dated any other race... what i understand is that (and correct me if i am wrong) that white men dont have the "extra baggage" you know with traditional rituals etc that have been discussed in previous blogs such as go tlhabela badimo, di kosha, dealing with things like dithokolosi... well i must admit i am only assuming here but what i have experienced living among them for the period i was abroad, many did not seem to practice such and thus lead such a care free life. So after what mum believes has happened to her, eg to romelelwa ditholoshi supposedly by my father so she never finds another man, she doesnt want me to go thru that...

GML
21 May 2009 12:00

It's peoples beliefs that lead them to living an unfulfilled life. Sometimes we make our selves belief in something that it ends up controlling us. Your mom believes in Boloyi and maybe all the men she meets cant stand that and that's why she is alone (manless). Maybe the only thing she ever talks about is Boloyi and that sends all the men running. You said and I quote: "Especially after seeing the "traditional" rituals we had to go through during the divorce process to "protect us" from whatever my father could have decided to do to us. I figured white people did not believe in such and i didnt really believe in it myself so to reduce the likelyhood that i ever had to do them in my family i decided white was the way to go. "

You said you dont believe in them so why are you allowing your mom to convince you otherwise? And why is it an issue, you keep referring to your moms beliefs which tells me that you do believe in them and are you've managed to convince yourself otherwise.

You know the mistakes your mom made, the best way is to try not to make the same mistakes.... Not let your mom tell you what to do with your life. How old are you BTW?

Lex
21 May 2009 12:00

Lolipop wa batho,o nkutlwisa botlhoko.My advice to you (use it,dont use it),stick with your current partner o tlogele go lora about something that might not happen.I really feel sorry for your current boyfriend.and have you considered that your mom could've gone to those people at the different churches b4 going with you so that you could be told all of those things about the white man?

maud
21 May 2009 12:01

kanti abomama benu banikhethela amadoda thanks i dont have a mother.

ms.tebby
21 May 2009 12:10

I was trying to ignore mjj 's replies but he just sent me LMAO'ing by scrutinizing lines one by one!

MsDee
21 May 2009 12:16

@lollipop... I dont get it then! Why you stuck between a rock and hard place... you know you're mom is acting out of a broken bitter heart...and you dont believe in her beliefs so what's the problem??????

The way I see it this blog should be bout how you can help your mom get over your dad n whole experience. She needs help. GML is on point 'sometimes we make ourselves belief in something that it ends up controlling us.

My mom was angry too, very angry, it took me her daughter reasoning with her and telling it as it is... now she's living her life.. single but happy.. my bet is your dad has moved on right!

KeleFabulous
21 May 2009 12:24

even if these people could predict your future, remember things have a way of turning out different because NOW YOU KNOW what will (was going to) happen and now you do htings different which lead to different outcomes. basically what i'm trying to say here is maybe your future was waht they told you BEFORE you knew it but now it's something else...

felfel
21 May 2009 12:30

Actually Lolipop not even the whitest of men can shield you from ditokoloshi and boloi that u running away from from being with a nigga. Only God dear can do that for you. Abathakathi follow you all the way to Costa Rica or Mexico even the Queens castle when they want you. You can marry a white man and still find strange things happening in ur life if u have no belief in God or you can marry the  blaque man you are with and join the kingdom of God with him and live a blissful and blessed life qha qwaba!!!!! 

KeleFabulous
21 May 2009 12:31

eish Lollipop, i also dream of my Fabio (althou in my fantasies he's black, i don't do white men)...all those muscles and....ooh yummy

i guess it's different strokes for different folks

vallie
21 May 2009 12:35

amen to that MsDee, it is the mother who actually needs help

So after what mum believes has happened to her, eg to romelelwa ditholoshi supposedly by my father so she never finds another man  
 
what a lot of crap, your mom sounds like a bitter woman who cannot move on with her life and is blaming daddy dearest for the way her life has turned out. please stop defending her and find her a counsellor/ therapist before she completely ruins your life.

Cande
21 May 2009 12:42

Lollipop, my mother was dumped by my father while she was still studying and was still pregnant, so you can imagine how hurt she was. She raised me alone for 13 yrs and she has never taught me to think soo bad about black men and she has never had anything against black man. just say you prefer to be with a white man than a black man and this should have nothing with your mother and her ex husband. Couples divorce al the time and divorce is never fun but painful. Your mother should deal with her issues and let you enjoy urs too with a black,green,purple or white man

blaq_lolipop
21 May 2009 12:52

lollipop...is ure black man a gud shag? Harambe how did i know you would ask... ha ha a yes he is a great one...

Hope you're not one of the so-called black brothers/sisters who associate everything white with superioty and being black is always not good enough. Thats the impression I get from your post anyway. Still can not believe in 2009 we still have people making such comment . No Sis Dolly, as i dont have that inferiority complex... i believe being a black sister at this day and age is the most impowering thing... 

Actually Lolipop not even the whitest of men can shield you from ditokoloshi and boloi that u running away from from being with a nigga... I do acknowledge that to be true..

@GML... i am in my mid 20s and i was really young when my parents divorced and so you kinda didnt have a say on what was done regarding traditional rituals. And having lived abroad meant that although someone grows and matures etc usually because this whole independence thing happens in the absence of your parents, the moment you return you sort of go back to being a child again.. so go by the rules of the house eg call when you are going to be late, no getting drunk in my house sort of thing so that why you end up going to all these churches with the family because it is what is done in that house.. "go nna ngwana wa mo lapeng"

and regarding the churches i have been to a few... most of them not well known but even at churches such as ZCC there is "go tlhatlhubiwa" i would loosely translate to consulation with people who have been "blessed"/prophets, whatever you want to call them and they can also tell you such things and then prescribe gore you should wear x coloured wool around your waist, drink a certain concoction of sugarless ZCC coffee or tea to prevent whatever bad thing is prophecised to happen... so yeah it does happen and does not need to be at a traditional doc that they "predict" such things..

anyway just thought id thank all those who contributed to my1st blog whether positiviely or otherwise... you all told me things some of which i had considered but also gave me independent/unbiased perspectives on things and some just gave me the wake up call/slap in the face i needed... 
 

Mathaz
21 May 2009 12:55

just say you prefer to be with a white man than a black man and this should have nothing with your mother and her ex husband........  True that, could be that she is not attracting white men and hence this article. 

funkyziemz
21 May 2009 13:46

@Mathaz: LOL...wooooooooo! Bantu it might not be that...she did say, she hunted for a white man whle abroad but with no success! so maybe its just one of those fantasies and Mommy is an excuse.
Listen, my friends date whites and they r not more hot than I am, i also wanted a white man once but no-one was ever attracted to me! so i settled for my black well endowed brothers ....so its ok babes, it happens.
@Cande: Say hi to Noks...say uMama kaKutlwano says whats up, she'll know!!!!

Zothile
21 May 2009 14:19

Lollipop, mina I agree with the people who say if God has placed something in your heart He will bring it to pass. Also God did not ask for your help and that is why your white man is not here yet. If you are meant to be with umlungu God will make it happen when the time is right. He does not need your help to make things come true. So wena and your mom must chill and stop wasting your money by going to all these people or give it to me rather  I will find use for it on my clothing budget.

Enjoy your relationship with your man right now, live in the moment coz umlungu might pitch when you 75 years old.

Smilo
21 May 2009 14:24

what i understand is that (and correct me if i am wrong) that white men dont have the "extra baggage" you know with traditional rituals etc such as go tlhabela badimo, di kosha, dealing with things like dithokolosi... 
Hhayi sisi you too white calling traditional rituals baggages... 
i am a proud black woman  Don't think so, have only dated black men so far and have never dated any other race...  its only because you haven't found any one interested in you in other races hence dating the black man. Shame on you.
heish the dilema is killing me.. Hamba uyozikhunga eshlahleni se tamati...

cleve
21 May 2009 14:36

LOL!!!!!!!!!

mjj
21 May 2009 14:40

Loly is your mother working for Government? If she's single please tell her to email mr at mjj@Tvsa.co.za, I'm single by the way, I can act all coconut if I'm 2 black for her just to make sure I have some whitey characteristic.....

ms.tebby
21 May 2009 14:48

lol, mjj....mother?

Sis Dolly
22 May 2009 09:22

@ Dali - the one and only LOL, jokes I needed anything for a surname and I settled for Sis Dolly

@ Myname - gama, I'm still around. I pop in sometimes. I see you're still crazy as ever LOL


Only TVSA members can reply to this thread. Click here to login or register.






LATEST ARTICLES

Diepe Waters 3 Teasers - December 2024

Perspective versus fact. Jacques and Johan come to a conclusion about Theresa.


New on TV today: Friday 22 November 2024

Bread & Roses on Apple TV+ tells the plight of Afghan women as Nat Geo Wild camps out on Africa's Blood River.


Scandal! Teasers - December 2024

A wedding proposal, a familiar face returns and Ndumiso basks in the glory of his apparent heroism.


Binnelanders Teasers - December 2024

Joe tells his sister about his visit to their father’s mistress. Ouch!


New on TV today: Thursday 21 November

BBC Earth takes you around the Solar System and a Wicked special airs on E! ahead of the film premiere.


My Naam is Farah Teasers - December 2024

Immigration officials turn up at Farah’s home. And then she receives a call from a ghost.


Survivor 45: See who lovestruck Austin's dating now

Are Austin and Dee still together? Find out here as we reflect on the season.


New on TV today: Wednesday 20 October

Our Oceans, narrated by Barack Obama, airs on Netflix and Dave returns to Disney+ for Season 3.


Summertide Teasers - December 2024

Martin grapples with Charlie’s ex and Gavin finds Rebecca at the beach. Sunset, silhouette...


The River 6 on Mzansi Magic Teasers - December 2024

Cold, warmer, hot. Veronica and Kedibone get closer to the truth.

LATEST SITE ACTIVITY


More activity at TVSA Central



LATEST SOAPIE TEASERS



LATEST SOAPIE TEASERS





×
×

You browser doesn't have Flash, Silverlight, Gears, BrowserPlus or HTML5 support.