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Only Blacks / Abodakkie part 2

Written by Amza from the blog It can be confusing... on 11 Jun 2009
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We can pretend, put on a show but every so often a moment of blackness will creep out...

1. You've remixed english with your vernacular countless times.
2. You've accidentally said something like "reach" instead of "rich" or "kettle" when you meant "cattle".
3. You think BEE is the best thing that's ever happened in this country =D.
4. Randoms always claim to be your cousins...
5. Whenever there's a family occassion, you always meet or discover a random new family member...ALWAYS!
6.You know black people can't swim cos they aint streamline enough!
7. In the FEW occassions that you do decide to swim, you wear a plastic bag on your head coz u scared your hair's gonna "KRAMP"
8.Ladies: A black guy has MACD on you and his first line was: "Eish baby ngiyakuthanda..."
9.You've been patronised by white old ladies who are surprised by how well you speak english.
10.You don't use hair straighteners because you kinda know their for white hair and you know your hairs gonna fall out...EVENTUALLY....
11.Eish is a primary word in your vocabulary.
12.You know that ATM stands for African Trademark, this means that your booty could give J-Lo a run for her money.
13.Your family slaughters an animal at every occassion, even if its a 1-year old's B-day party.
14. When there's a funeral/wedding at your house, the WHOLE neighbourhood rocks up just as lunch is served.
15.Your family keeps AFRICAN TIME- which runs +/-2 hrs behind normal time.
16.IF you've been to a school outside of SOWETO, you're refered to a coconut, cheesegirl/boy etc.
17.Your assertiveness has been mistaken for attitude, rebellion or insubordination.
18.You know jus where to get the best amagwinya with special,chips, snook fish and KOTA supreme!!yummmeee!
19.You've practically braaied your scalp to try straighten that unruly bush you call hair!
20.You know what I'm talkin bout when I say Lesilo is the scariest MOFO in this world!! :-S
21.IF you do swim...there's a customary "wipe ur face wit ur hand" move...
22.Your mother calls you into her room, which is on the other wing of the house, jus to ask you to pass her the phone which is an arm's reach away from her...
23.Ladies: U stick ur tongue out and roll your eyes back while dancing and screaming "ayoba yo!!!"
24.YOU WATCH GENERATIONS!!!
25.You know who Sibusiso Dlomo is =D
26.When you have or know a person with a funky ass english name like "patience" "gifted" essentials" "exellent" but my favourite is "matric exemption" viva black nation with beautiful but strange names!!
A few other RIDICULOUS names: "Looksmart","Service Provider","Innocentia" and "Trifina"...eish darkies! =D
27.When we say 'shoot me' instead of 'take a photo of me'... being darkie rocks guys even when da english is killing during an English presentation...lol...
28. You speak sotho-english...you use proper sotho words but then add a -rize!!
e.g plz khaparize me to the shop...that ryt there is ghetto! =D
29.Everytime we start a dance or something 2 do with group co-ordination...we don't say 3,2,1
we go ONE-TOH ONE TOH!!
gotta luv it!
30. You know this equation very well: SUN+DARKIE=SKIN TRAGEDY!!! MUST AVOID THE SUN LIKE THE BLACK PLAGUE...@ A

31. EVERY TOOTHPASTE IS COLGATE NO MATTER THE BRAND!

32. EVERY COLD DRINK IS COKE no matter the flavor!

33. EVERY PLASTIC BAG IS CALLED CHECKERS!

194 Comments

Amza
11 Jun 2009 10:42

This is what we call Character...lol..still reading

Best-Achiever
11 Jun 2009 13:14

You call it "Cold drink" even if you take it from the case in the garage to put in the fridge.

Cande
11 Jun 2009 13:19

part 2? Amza do you write this?

cleve
11 Jun 2009 13:26

You call it "Cold drink" even if you take it from the case in the garage to put in the fridge

kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cody
11 Jun 2009 13:30

part 2? Amza do you write this?

no Cande, she just spiced up the e-mail a bit....

Nonny
11 Jun 2009 13:31

part 2? Amza do you write this?
No, Cande, It's forwarded emails (kanti which mail group are u in, u cannot have time to blog yet not have time for forwarded emails???....LOL), but this one still makes me LMAO. I love being black!

TerryN
11 Jun 2009 13:33

29.Everytime we start a dance or something 2 do with group co-ordination...we don't say 3,2,1
we go ONE-TOH ONE TOH!!

ROTFLMAO....

cleve
11 Jun 2009 13:33

21.IF you do swim...there's a customary "wipe ur face wit ur hand" move...

tl tl tl tl tl tl !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Amza
11 Jun 2009 13:34

part 2? Amza do you write this?

no Cande, she just spiced up the e-mail a bit....

@Cande, Lol...didnt spice up anything my dear just copied and pasted to be prescise. Im not that creative yet..

Amza
11 Jun 2009 13:36

No, Cande, It's forwarded emails (kanti which mail group are u in, u cannot have time to blog yet not have time for forwarded emails???....LOL), but this one still makes me LMAO. I love being black!

@Nonny, blame it on Fb, just couldnt resist...

cleve
11 Jun 2009 13:36

27.When we say 'shoot me' instead of 'take a photo of me'... being darkie rocks guys even when da english is killing during an English presentation...lol...

29.Everytime we start a dance or something 2 do with group co-ordination...we don't say 3,2,1
we go ONE-TOH ONE TOH!!

33. EVERY PLASTIC BAG IS CALLED CHECKERS!

ROTFLMBASO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nonny
11 Jun 2009 13:36

9.You've been patronised by white old ladies who are surprised by how well you speak english.
Eish, this one ticks me off especially when it's phrased as: "you speak very good English for a black girl"............I mean wtf?? just becoz I'm black I am supposed to say SHEFROLOTETTTT instead of Chevrolet (with a silent T)??

u4me
11 Jun 2009 13:37

calling every bar soap Sunlight and every powder soap Surf, lol.

using old newspapers as window curtains, toilet papers e.t.c

Ms. Jay
11 Jun 2009 13:37

hehehehehehehehehe round 2

26.When you have or know a person with a funky ass english name like "patience" "gifted" essentials" "exellent" but my favourite is "matric exemption" viva black nation with beautiful but strange names!!
A few other RIDICULOUS names: "Looksmart","Service Provider","Innocentia" and "Trifina"...eish darkies! =D

I heard another one 2 weeks ago "Asspenis" - pronounce as one word with no break.....never larfed @ a name that hard.....................................

LOL BA!!!! its so true!!!

TerryN
11 Jun 2009 13:38

m sure everyone is a victim for no 31

Not mee...eish! black people...LMAO

maud
11 Jun 2009 13:41

@Tazzy cha not me i rather call it i toothpaste than Colgate,especialy because i dont use i colgate.

mina ,is 33

u4me
11 Jun 2009 13:44

when pronouncing " thing" like in something, anything......... it sounds like anysing, somesing. when you say are you thinking, you pronounce it like are u sinking, lmao

Nonny
11 Jun 2009 13:47

26.When you have or know a person with a funky ass english name like "patience" "gifted" essentials" "exellent" but my favourite is "matric exemption" viva black nation with beautiful but strange names!!
My aunt used to sleep allot as a baby and so my granny named her Lezigal (They meant Lazygirl but ofcourse they decided to spell it the darkie way, we always LOL at her name and where it all started!

Pooky
11 Jun 2009 13:47

No Jael haikona unamanga gal, Asspenis?? kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa

u4me
11 Jun 2009 13:49

when linking coldness to weather and hotness to temparature

Cody
11 Jun 2009 13:49

when pronouncing " thing" like in something, anything......... it sounds like anysing, somesing. when you say are you thinking, you pronounce it like are u sinking, lmao

Haibo u4me that is a black lie joe! ROTFLMAO!!!! people who pronouce like that are french

Cody
11 Jun 2009 13:50

Lezigal ???

LMBAO Nonny!!!

Ms. Jay
11 Jun 2009 13:52

serious Pooky - I was like say your name again.....and the guy proudly said Asspenis and I was like OK spell it then.....I larfed so hard I think he got wat I was larfing @..........his parents must be shot!

then there was this girl at Var called "Ubumnadikayise" - I was like huh............

lezygirl on her birth records???? eish..................

Nonny
11 Jun 2009 13:52

Pooky, if Asspenis is a woman, I am sure when she refuses to do the chocolate factory, her man goes: "Eish baby awukahle, u know u were destined for this route, coz even ur parents prophesied that mina nawe siyoyenza ngemuva, so ke dunusa and follow ur destiny.....LOL"

Swagger
11 Jun 2009 13:53

calling every bar soap Sunlight and every powder soap Surf, lol.
or OMO. Tsa mo reka Omo!

maud
11 Jun 2009 13:54

@Jael- Ubumnandikayise haaaaa, you are joking, ubemnandi ke loyise tsho , how will i explain this to my child esemdala.

Nonny
11 Jun 2009 13:54

Yes Pooky and Cody it's on her birth certificate and ID, we shorten her name to Lezi now.

Ms. Jay
11 Jun 2009 13:55

27.When we say 'shoot me' instead of 'take a photo of me'... being darkie rocks guys even when da english is killing during an English presentation...lol...

LMAO!!!! kwakwakwakwakwa

am guilty of no11
people who pronouce like that are french or Sibusiso Dlomo kwakwakwakwakwakwa

monchooza
11 Jun 2009 13:56

thank Gaad i am not a darkie

Best-Achiever
11 Jun 2009 13:57

last of last week.

Ms. Jay
11 Jun 2009 13:57

"Eish baby awukahle, u know u were destined for this route, coz even ur parents prophesied that mina nawe siyoyenza ngemuva, so ke dunusa and follow ur destiny.....LOL"

kwakwakwakwakwak @ Nonny!!! - even "Service Provider" kwakwakwakwakwakwa follow ur destiny..............hhehehehelehelehelhelhe

GodsArt
11 Jun 2009 13:57

U really did cut and paste ngoba....umangikhumbula kahle, there was an article like this one last year. Nc nc nc nc....blacks nge cut and paste....no creativity

Swagger
11 Jun 2009 13:58

Ubumnadikayise tjo, this is a tlasik!

Ms. Jay
11 Jun 2009 13:58

and yesterday but one.......

Cody
11 Jun 2009 13:59

Kwa kwa kwa kwa!!!!! @ asspenis and nonny's dirty thinking!

My aunt's name is Percentage, i think i once mentioned this, i mean Percentange hello!!!!!! what were they thinking? i still cant get an answer.

Ms. Jay
11 Jun 2009 14:00

not forgetting - long back ago......I use this line myself and people look and go heh????? I used to larf @ a co-worker with this one until it became part of my own vocab........

Nonny
11 Jun 2009 14:01

Ubumnadikayise - nc nc nc that is a a deep name, I kinda like it, coz it makes u aware that ur dad was or is iskhokho....LOL

Ms. Jay
11 Jun 2009 14:02

Godsart - its a thursday one more day till Faraiday please go with the flow or silent blog lol - am having a good belly larf here........

Nonny
11 Jun 2009 14:04

My aunt's name is Percentage, i think i once mentioned this, i mean Percentange hello!!!!!! what were they thinking? i still cant get an answer.
kwa kwa kwa I think our folks and granparents were just too fascinated by English becoz having a bombastic (darkie term...LOL) name to them was a big thing. I just wish someone was there to explain what these words mean and how to spell and pronounce them.

Ms. Jay
11 Jun 2009 14:04

Lol Nonny - guess the shortened name would be "kayise" - thats another thing that people r gud @ - giving short versions of your name....................

Ms. Jay
11 Jun 2009 14:06

danger......is back....

odie
11 Jun 2009 14:06

DW wena you are something else waitse. you are never happy to see people enjoying themselves. you just spoiled my day mmmmpsssm

maud
11 Jun 2009 14:06

or mnandi

Cody
11 Jun 2009 14:07

Odie, misery likes company girl. Just ignore her.

Dangerous woman
11 Jun 2009 14:08

Sengenzeni? ngoba nami bengiphawula ngalomkopisho ka Amza

Cody
11 Jun 2009 14:09

....and they call, ETV...SABC ETV, just like my gran and her friends!!! LMAO!!!

Ms. Jay
11 Jun 2009 14:09

LOL maud......then if they are twins ubumnandikamama kwakwakwakwakwakwa

Cande
11 Jun 2009 14:10

LOL@ the warm cold drink bit

Amza
11 Jun 2009 14:11

Odie, misery likes company girl. Just ignore her.

Well put

Ms. Jay
11 Jun 2009 14:11

19.You've practically braaied your scalp to try straighten that unruly bush you call hair!

kwakwakwakwakwakwakwa all relaxers [not even the right term] become Dark and Lovely thereafter.....

Ms. Jay
11 Jun 2009 14:12

LOL tzhavile......twinkLE.......................hahahahahahahahahahahahahah

Nonny
11 Jun 2009 14:13

Godsart - its a thursday one more day till Faraiday please go with the flow or silent blog lol - am having a good belly larf here........
Thank u Jael and that goes for Dangerous woman as well. The only time there is a problem with popy paste is when people lie abt it and Amza has been very honest abt the origins of this work. Otherwise write a better article and we shall flock there, uuuuummmmm I though as much, it's better to judge than to do something abt the problem u have ne????

maud
11 Jun 2009 14:14

hayi impepho ka Dumisani imemeza endaweni ezirongo man.

u4me
11 Jun 2009 14:14

when after sex, you dont hear the lady saying it was great, nice, enjoyable but the first thing she will say is..........................where is my panty.

Cody
11 Jun 2009 14:15

after making dichips you preserve the oil to re-use it later, in an old bottle of peanut butter or mayonnaise...hai being black mara.

carino
11 Jun 2009 14:15

Nonny
11 Jun 2009 14:16

Lol Nonny - guess the shortened name would be "kayise" - thats another thing that people r gud @ - giving short versions of your name....................
Yes it would be, coz I know a lady that is called Kayise, but her name is "Ntombikayise"

myname
11 Jun 2009 14:16

Afternoon beautiful bloggers,

A freind of mine has a brother who is "Neverdie". The first time i heard i LOLed.

Cody
11 Jun 2009 14:17

hayi impepho ka Dumisani imemeza endaweni ezirongo man.

kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa!!!! LMAO @maud!

Amza
11 Jun 2009 14:17

Sengenzeni? ngoba nami bengiphawula ngalomkopisho ka Amza

LMAO @ DW...couldnt you wait for your turn mara or u no mona nje?..hayi suka you a re spoiling my party wena..

Nonny
11 Jun 2009 14:18

after making dichips you preserve the oil to re-use it later, in an old bottle of peanut butter or mayonnaise...hai being black mara.
hahahahhaha we do that all the time at home and abo checkers (LOL plastic bags) are used for the kitchen bin.

Nonny
11 Jun 2009 14:21

A freind of mine has a brother who is "Neverdie". The first time i heard i LOLed.
And when he dies, they will say: "Ufe kanjani, coz he was meant to live forever?"

Cody
11 Jun 2009 14:22

hahahahhaha we do that all the time at home and abo checkers (LOL plastic bags) are used for the kitchen bin.

itjhuuuuu !!! LMAO Nonny! i do this as well!huu i am shinifed! not forgetting that we also use an old pantyhose as a head scarf!

maud
11 Jun 2009 14:22

hayi nam ngiyawakhiphela amafutha kwi empty container.but ngibone ngalomama o ncedisa endlini. umtomdala uma ekufundisa ubofunda

Ms. Jay
11 Jun 2009 14:22

Cody - I am so guilty of doing that!!! lMBAOAM

carino is 'speechless' lol

when after sex, you dont hear the lady saying it was great, nice, enjoyable but the first thing she will say is..........................where is my panty.

hahahahahahahahahahah very true........................

I know several Kayise's - hoping I none of them would be ubumnadikayise's !!! and that of calling a person unaNtombi....sumtimes you be thinking her daughters name is Ntombi just to hear its something else and you like y naNtombi - & they like "dah coz its a girl" ....mxiiiiii this is a serious Zimbabwean problem!!!!

TerryN
11 Jun 2009 14:25

....and they call, ETV...SABC ETV,just like my gran and her friends!!! LMAO!!!

LMAO cody...so so true...

maud
11 Jun 2009 14:26

hayi Cody, please send me your address ngizokuthumela lezigcoko zokulala engiyi croshayo.

Ms. Jay
11 Jun 2009 14:27

hahahahhaha we do that all the time at home and abo checkers (LOL plastic bags) are used for the kitchen bin.

itjhuuuuu !!! LMAO Nonny! i do this as well!huu i am shinifed! not forgetting that we also use an old pantyhose as a head scarf!

LMAO - cuaght out! hahahahahhaha

TerryN
11 Jun 2009 14:28

not forgetting that we also use an old pantyhose as a head scarf!

Koda Cody...uyivusaphi le? Sengiyikhohliwe completely...LMAO

Ms. Jay
11 Jun 2009 14:28

bye guys - am out for the day - done dowloading what I need but had a blast here!!! catcha tmrw......

mbuzobuciko
11 Jun 2009 14:29

mbuzobuciko
11 Jun 2009 14:30

hahahahhahahaha..........

Nonny
11 Jun 2009 14:32

itjhuuuuu !!! LMAO Nonny! i do this as well!huu i am shinifed! not forgetting that we also use an old pantyhose as a head scarf!
OMG I must the typical darkie and living the typical darkie home, use ipantyhose on my head especially if I have blow dried my hair so that the style lasts longer, coz i-duke makes it flat.

But hear this, the leg part of the pantyhose cut it and use it to tie my hair as a first layer, before I actually use a scrunge, just so ighoda lami can be tight enough...........LOL

myname
11 Jun 2009 14:33

not forgetting that we also use an old pantyhose as a head scarf!

My flatemate uses that pantyhose.

Cody
11 Jun 2009 14:33

Reply from: maud 6/11/2009 8:26:04 PM
hayi Cody, please send me your address ngizokuthumela lezigcoko zokulala engiyi croshayo

LMAO Maud! No thanx love, ipantyhose ayiphumi nix nix, you can wear it the whole nite and it will be the same way as when you put it.

Nonny
11 Jun 2009 14:33

Cheers Jael.

mbuzobuciko
11 Jun 2009 14:33

ngqumakho.....

Renegade
11 Jun 2009 14:34

Ubumnadikayise and Asspenis..Buahahahah at those names, hai, i cant even pardon them coz they are darkies, that's just wrong!

after making dichips you preserve the oil to re-use it later, in an old bottle of peanut butter or mayonnaise...hai being black mara.
@Cody next thing you know the fridge is full of those oils...eish, i hate that and my mother still does it!

Cody
11 Jun 2009 14:36

But hear this, the leg part of the pantyhose cut it and use it to tie my hair as a first layer, before I actually use a scrunge, just so ighoda lami can be tight enough...........LOL

LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!! huu guys please stop it! I will get fired from laughing so hard in a work environment!

TerryN
11 Jun 2009 14:36

On that note:
Black people are also known to be LOUD, when they talk among themselves they SHOUT at each other (as if they fighting meanwhile they laughing).

myname
11 Jun 2009 14:39

Sometimes i use an old pantyhose to wipe my shoes.....and i still do this.

My mom also use those legs for ukufaka ama curtains.

zozoe
11 Jun 2009 14:39

28. You speak sotho-english...you use proper sotho words but then add a -rize!!
e.g plz khaparize me to the shop...that ryt there is ghetto! =D kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa lol

Freemale
11 Jun 2009 14:39

OML...where have I been? to miss out on this much. At first it was just my usual white chuckle and as I read on the black in me came out and God knows my boss almost fell off her chair......

@Amza as Nonny said, nice work only few people who have thought about bringing some homour into this site (dont care it is copied and pasted) who cares?

Cody
11 Jun 2009 14:40

@Cody next thing you know the fridge is full of those oils...eish, i hate that and my mother still does it!

I must admit that im guilty of doing this for my helper Rene. she even asked me to keep the fat that comes from iwors, her children eat it with pap on rainy days! LMAO! ....err, im not laughing hle!

Strolicious
11 Jun 2009 14:40

u guys r cracking me up.........Neverdie ROTFLMBSAO....I love Tvsa...

Nonny
11 Jun 2009 14:42

@Cody next thing you know the fridge is full of those oils...eish, i hate that and my mother still does it!
LOL Rene, mina I don't mind as long as the oils are co-ordinated well and the bottles are kept neat and clean. Thina ekhaya we have two, the one has clear oil from fried chips and the other is the creamy oil from curries and stuff like that. And ofcourse, we all know that u never throw away a Mayonaise bottle coz its for the oils or vinaegar and chillies or even jam if we buy the tin one and then we just thulula into the bottle.

Freemale
11 Jun 2009 14:42

last of last week.

@BA last of last of last week...

TerryN
11 Jun 2009 14:43

Sorry guyz dont mean to be off topic BUT um just curious at the stats:

TVSA MEMBERS
--------------------------------------
Total: 26673 | Online: 798

Where are the 798 members at? Come out guys...join in.

Nonny
11 Jun 2009 14:44

I must admit that im guilty of doing this for my helper Rene. she even asked me to keep the fat that comes from iwors, her children eat it with pap on rainy days! LMAO! ....err, im not laughing hle!
haiybo Cody, nathi we do that at home I am telling u, wors oil is the best for samp and beans as well.

Nonny
11 Jun 2009 14:46

Where are the 798 members at? Come out guys...join in.
Silent bloggers, u'll be amzed that even though mina I am umaqinasi (extrovert) I spent abt a year as a silent blogger.

Renegade
11 Jun 2009 14:47

I must admit that im guilty of doing this for my helper Rene. she even asked me to keep the fat that comes from iwors, her children eat it with pap on rainy days! LMAO! ....err, im not laughing hle!
haiybo Cody, nathi we do that at home I am telling u, wors oil is the best for samp and beans as well.

Hayi bo! You live and you learn, I must try this!

Cody
11 Jun 2009 14:48

Oh really Nonny! i will try and do that as well, i looove samp. I've heard the saying, n boer maak n plan, so in this case, a black man always has a plan neh? i will mos def try that!

carino
11 Jun 2009 14:50

Where are the 798 members at? Come out guys...join in.

Thats another black thing.... you see Register for Free and you put your name down... then never return to the site.

mbuzobuciko
11 Jun 2009 14:51

Prayer of a married BLACK MAN

Dear Lord

Thank you for opening my eyes to realize that there are beautiful
women out there. You know God, when I met Nomzi, I thought she was meant
for me but I've come to realize that water and oil do not mix. It is true
that I like to look at other women but I only do that to appreciate
the beauty of nature's creation. But sometimes I just can't resist these
women. After all I have my weakness.

Nomzi calls me 'Tata ka Sipho', I often feel like a pensioner. Other
women call me Darling, Sweetie, Dear, then I feel young, energetic and
moja. She likes complaining and nagging and she is always too tired to
go out with me. Every weekend she goes to attend so and so 's funeral
and go straight to society or umgalelo. Women outside are wild,
grooving and can do a thorough job when it comes to Huuuuuuuu. Another problem
with Nomzi, dear lord is she is good at spending my hard earned money.
When we talk about budget she is referring to my salary. Her salary is
her secret and its confidential.She has appointed herself my minister
of finance but my economy is not improving.

Her family comes first in everything. When I bought my mother a jersey
during this chilling winter, she complained that I know our financial
problems but I keep giving people our money. When she bought her mother
a pair of boots, jacket, blanket and a heater, she said that I know
her mother is struggling. (Uyasokola). I visit my parents once in a
lifetime but her family needs her.

God, I met her at a party. But these days she wants to remain indoors.
No friends should visit us without appointments. I must sit and watch
the Bold & Beautiful, Days of of lives and later Generations/Muvhango.
Kodwa nawe Nkosi uyayazi ndizithandela inkonzo yase Ziyoni. Nomzi /wil
niks verstaan/.Every Sunday she drags me to this Nigerian Christain
Church. I had to part with R200 as an offering to the Pastor.Heavenly
Father you will realize that I have lost some weight. Hayi ke
andisayithethi indaba yokutya. Yi rice, zii Corn Flake no Chicken
Licken yonke le mihla. My favourate Mngqusho no Lusu is a thing of the
past.

She will never allow such nonsense in our Town house.Oh God I yearn
For my favourate Heinneken and also Castle Lager,Black Label and Hansa
Pilserner, the only beers with surnames,these days I only drink
Mineral water. So God, as uMjita, I hope you know why I always look at
those ladies and wish that I could spend more and more time with them. Kha
wenze iplan kaloku nawe, sukuthula kangaka Nkosi.

amen

TerryN
11 Jun 2009 14:52

last of last week.

@BA last of last of last week...

LMAO...

myname
11 Jun 2009 14:54

last of last week.

Im so guilty!!!

TerryN
11 Jun 2009 14:57

you see Register for Free and you put your name down... then never return to the site.

Typical Blacks...khanikhule bakithi!!

Best-Achiever
11 Jun 2009 14:57

It is not complete variety of salads if "cabbage-carrot-mayonase" salad isnt in the menu.

TerryN
11 Jun 2009 14:59

LOL myname... At least uyavuma sisi

Strolicious
11 Jun 2009 14:59

Thats another black thing.... you see Register for Free and you put your name down... then never return to the site. ....awu Carino we silent bloggers...

Renegade
11 Jun 2009 14:59

There is nothing that makes less sense that "Last of last week", but we all just use it, and understand it.
Can't we just say "Week before last",
I'm gonna say "last of last week" to a white person and see what they'll say.

Nonny
11 Jun 2009 15:00

I've heard the saying, n boer maak n plan, so in this case, a black man always has a plan neh? i will mos def try that!
Ofcourse, at home thina, even if lets say most of us arrive home and we're not hungry, the following nights supper is a remix of last night, so that we don't complain and say, oh it's the same thing again.

TerryN
11 Jun 2009 15:04

It is not complete variety of salads if "cabbage-carrot-mayonase" salad isnt in the menu

NOT LATELY...THAT SALAD ITS SO 1980

Nonny
11 Jun 2009 15:06

Thats another black thing.... you see Register for Free and you put your name down... then never return to the site.
LOL so true choma, hey there Cariri *waving like a lunatic*

It is not complete variety of salads if "cabbage-carrot-mayonase" salad isnt in the menu.
And then we go to call it John 14 coz a funeral is not a funeral without that salad.

TerryN
11 Jun 2009 15:06

THAT SALAD ITS SO 1980

i mean 1990

Cody
11 Jun 2009 15:09

if "cabbage-carrot-mayonase" salad

LMAO julle regarding coleslaw! but I bet you guys eat it when it comes from KFC's Family feast neh? eish us blacks with KFC

Freemale
11 Jun 2009 15:09

Really @Renegade can you imagine last of last week...what on earth is that?

Best-Achiever
11 Jun 2009 15:10

They set alarm for the 12 to 5 free minutes, no wonder i sleep with my phone off ...

and a person will go like, "i was just greeting you, are you asleep", i mean you greet me at 1 am and you expect me to be awake ..i am free but not dom

maud
11 Jun 2009 15:11

Tazzy it depends with what do you mix that salad with,trying putting , a pineapple, green apple diced polony with cheece. dont great your cattots , dice them.

or fry your cabbage put baked beans and little bit of mayonnaise.

Sobza
11 Jun 2009 15:12

I am reminded of one aunt(Buyiswa) in my family....there was a funeral kamakazi wam this other time and when it was time to go to the grave yard uyazi ke ukuthi ifamily ikhwela i hearse and then aunt Buyiswa went like "Soze, soze ndiyikhwele i parlour ndiphila....ikhwelwe ngudade wethu ebhubhile....ndiphinde mna ndiyikhwele...soze.

maud
11 Jun 2009 15:13

carrots sisi - eish , english

Best-Achiever
11 Jun 2009 15:13

Then there are those who dont buy tea/cofee/sugar but carry them from work .... tjo

Cody
11 Jun 2009 15:14

They set alarm for the 12 to 5 free minutes, no wonder i sleep with my phone off ...

now this drives me crazy BA!!! sherrrr!

Nonny
11 Jun 2009 15:16

LMAO julle regarding coleslaw! but I bet you guys eat it when it comes from KFC's Family feast neh? eish us blacks with KFC
Don't even go there, if ur family is cross with u, give them KFC that R169 bucket with 21 pieces and then tell them everyone must have two pieces each they will be all smiles.

Sobza
11 Jun 2009 15:16

There was also this old timer called Scotch(ubethanda kakhulu amahempe e scotch). He used to call i stretcher...i stranger and post mortem....pos motali.

odie
11 Jun 2009 15:18

me i use the pantyhose for to remove dirt on the ceiling corners. i wrap it nicely and just throw it up there. works.

everytime after slaughtering a goat, my mum will take the fat, fry and in the evenin gcook the best mangwinya. then we will reuse the oil again till it gets finish from the frying of thefat cakes. LOL

TerryN
11 Jun 2009 15:19

eish us blacks with KFC

LOL koda cody namhlanje u want me to loose my job.
all your comments are cracking me up...

carino
11 Jun 2009 15:24

Hello Nonnzzz... jumping up and down..

* And when they buy new furniture at home, even those Ellerines blue/yellow cupboards for the kitchen.... your mother calls umakhelwane to come have a look.*

TerryN
11 Jun 2009 15:24

They set alarm for the 12 to 5 free minutes

LMAO
When i saw that Vodacom Ad is said to myself who in the rite mind ongavuka ngo 12 to 5 am...just to have conversation at crack of dawn!
Eish Blacks ...blooody chancers!!!

Nonny
11 Jun 2009 15:24

Then there are those who dont buy tea/cofee/sugar but carry them from work .... tjo
kwa kwa kwa so true! My neighbour is a cleaner and she has got every detergent under the sun, nathi when we have umsebenzi (slaughter goat or cow) we ask her to give us her chemicals and that will chase away the flees that run after iskhumba.

Another thing, my dad dries the goat or cow skin and then uses it as a carpet/mat in his bedroom, at the moment he has two that he really loves, they are smelly at first but once they are completely dry, they're ok I guess...LOL

carino
11 Jun 2009 15:24

Sobza
11 Jun 2009 15:26

A few other RIDICULOUS names

I've come across some strange Xhosa names....but the one that stands out for me was Noguntsule Colgate.....first and middle name. I was surprised because people call this guy Steve and it's not in the ID.

Cody
11 Jun 2009 15:26

LOL Nonny!!!!! ibucket nogal? will try that with my nieces, yho yho yho! is it R169 now, jo that's expensive, i only buy the twister meal or that streetwise 2 with 3 chips inside the box, haai noo maan! LMAO!!!!

@ Tazzy ;-)

carino
11 Jun 2009 15:29

When i saw that Vodacom Ad is said to myself who in the rite mind ongavuka ngo 12 to 5 am...just to have conversation at crack of dawn!
Eish Blacks ...blooody chancers!!!

Now that you've mentioned adverts, can i offramp a lil bit and mention that im totally in love with that Fattis & Monis advert thats done in Opera???

Even though I stilll ask myself what exactly the white child is doing in a black family....

Cody
11 Jun 2009 15:29

And when they buy new furniture at home, even those Ellerines blue/yellow cupboards for the kitchen.... your mother calls umakhelwane to come have a look.* at the "kitchen suite"

ha ha ha! carino!

Nonny
11 Jun 2009 15:29

* And when they buy new furniture at home, even those Ellerines blue/yellow cupboards for the kitchen.... your mother calls umakhelwane to come have a look.*
kwa kwa kwa kwa, my mom always does that and she will say to the neighbours: "Heyi ukuzala ukuzelula, woz'obona ukuthi uNonny usengenzeleni."..............and it's not to show-off, it's in their system to share all this information with umakhelwane.

me i use the pantyhose for to remove dirt on the ceiling corners. i wrap it nicely and just throw it up there. works
hahhahaa Odie, that is a good one, we also use ipanyhose on an old broom and we wrap the broom with it and we shine the floor tiles with it, it's called "ukufrayfa"....hahhaha I ove being black!

carino
11 Jun 2009 15:30

Noguntsule Colgate.....first and middle name. I was surprised because people call this guy Steve and it's not in the ID...

kwa kwa kwa kwa I would also call myself Steve... Maybe when he was born, he came out with a smile... hence, Colgate..

TerryN
11 Jun 2009 15:34

your mother calls umakhelwane to come have a look.* at the "kitchen suite"

hheheheheh kitchen scheme...

Pooky
11 Jun 2009 15:35

Oh really Nonny! i will try and do that as well, i looove samp. I've heard the saying, n boer maak n plan, so in this case, a black man always has a plan neh? i will mos def try that!

....and my aunt would always say "hayi sana ukhona uMagaiva (as in MacGyver)

Pooky
11 Jun 2009 15:36

Oh really Nonny! i will try and do that as well, i looove samp. I've heard the saying, n boer maak n plan, so in this case, a black man always has a plan neh? i will mos def try that!

....and my aunt would always say "hayi sana ukhona uMagaiva (as in MacGyver) ...or khawenze uMagaiva kaloku (as in maak a plan)

carino
11 Jun 2009 15:37

i looove samp.

And this term "samp". I dont know since when black people call it samp.

Coz we grew up eating Stampa.

faraimagic
11 Jun 2009 15:39

LMBAO!

Cody
11 Jun 2009 15:39

ha ha! odie,do you just throw it on that dirty part on the ceiling? i must try this since i dont have ifeather duster!

my mum will take the fat, fry and in the evenin gcook the best mangwinya. then we will reuse the oil again till it gets finish from the frying of thefat cakes. LOL

LOL Tjo tjo weee that's bad odie, magwinya with goat fat? ewww. i love fat cakes during winter, probably the same strategy is used neh? haii maan!

amasurbubs ayahlupha eintlek! being a darkie in lokshin is sooo coooool!

oh and black people in the rural areas call Joburg, makgoweng....lol! why mara??

maud
11 Jun 2009 15:40

@carino - we have upgrated my friend- Stamp to Samp- isobho to Soup

Nonny
11 Jun 2009 15:41

"hayi sana ukhona uMagaiva (as in MacGyver)
LOL I also know lots of people that say that.

TerryN
11 Jun 2009 15:42

And this term "samp". I dont know since when black people call it samp.

LOL bayazishuna...
what happend to istambu kodarkie??

Nonny
11 Jun 2009 15:43

@carino - we have upgrated my friend- Stamp to Samp- isobho to Soup
LOL thina we still say stambu.

u4me
11 Jun 2009 15:44

i met this homegal while i was at varsity, i asked her when did she come to varsity. she was trying to impress her new friends and replied, "i arrived here Next week" i realized she wanted to say last week, so i said, ohh you came last week, okay.
Dont say her tongue slipped because her mouth was very dry, lol. how can it slip

Nonny
11 Jun 2009 15:44

LOL bayazishuna...
what happend to istambu kodarkie??
LOL

Nonny
11 Jun 2009 15:46

Dont say her tongue slipped because her mouth was very dry, lol. how can it slip
kwa kwa kwa u4me, unezinto zakho wedwa nje...LOL

Sobza
11 Jun 2009 15:48

eish us blacks with KFC

Forget KFC.....mina la ngihlala khona bathengisa what they call Chicken Dust or Chicken Ala.....its braaied kuma taxi ranks and people love it. They will buy full chicken for R35 and pap.

odie
11 Jun 2009 15:49

@ cody, there is the spider web that always up there mo ceilling where the feather dust cant reach so i just spend 5 minutes throwing it up there.

yep the goat fat - we also use it for the liver there there sis wame, then we also use it for the samp and the fat cakes. they are so tasty you will never regret it.
i love being black bathong.
i love tvsa

dali
11 Jun 2009 15:51

hayi vanhu vati hleka makovo

Cody
11 Jun 2009 15:51

true that Nonns! u u4me, unzinto zakhe ai one! ROTFLMAO!!!!

Nonny
11 Jun 2009 15:55

Forget KFC.....mina la ngihlala khona bathengisa what they call Chicken Dust or Chicken Ala.....its braaied kuma taxi ranks and people love it. They will buy full chicken for R35 and pap.
Oh Sobza I love ichicken bhuquza (Chicken Dust)........and the guys that normally sell it are the type that go: "Eish swidart, ave ubaba yazi, manje unginika nini icrown khona ngizokuphatha ezintweni".........shem, but those of the joys of kassi life.

Pooky
11 Jun 2009 15:56

speaking of KFC....my mom ma esuka uyogrosala(grocery shopping) she'll always say "ndize noKFC, mangivula amaplastiki haaaaaaa!!.. Hungry Lion. she's a die hard HL lover...forget KFC,McDee,Steers,Spur, uzifela ngo Hungry lol

TerryN
11 Jun 2009 15:57

yep the goat fat

what is a goat fat?

they are so tasty you will never regret it.

really?

maud
11 Jun 2009 15:59

Pooky what is a Hungry Lion?

TerryN
11 Jun 2009 15:59

she'll always say "ndize noKFC, mangivula amaplastiki haaaaaaa!!.. Hungry Lion.

ROTFLMAO thats a killer pooky

boogy-babe
11 Jun 2009 16:00

DECEMBER=DEZEMBA

Cody
11 Jun 2009 16:01

hai i must go and look for this chicken dust sound too nice!

LMAO Pooky!! hungry lion = KFC? LOL

Pooky
11 Jun 2009 16:03

Pooky what is a Hungry Lion?

a fong-kong version of KFC maud

maud
11 Jun 2009 16:04

@u4me- last week, people where do you come from , ni stout man yazi, i just lied to my boss i said i dont want to talk i have this headache, you just made me to laugh loud. headache and laughing at the same time , she must be thinking i am loosing it, ngiyahlanya.

TerryN
11 Jun 2009 16:04

Pooky what is a Hungry Lion?

nangako udarkie...ezibuzisa

carino
11 Jun 2009 16:05

she'll always say "ndize noKFC, mangivula amaplastiki haaaaaaa!!.. Hungry Lion.

kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa

Nonny
11 Jun 2009 16:05

speaking of KFC....my mom ma esuka uyogrosala(grocery shopping) she'll always say "ndize noKFC, mangivula amaplastiki haaaaaaa!!.. Hungry Lion. she's a die hard HL lover...forget KFC,McDee,Steers,Spur, uzifela ngo Hungry lol
kwa kwa kwa my aunt is also a die hard fan of Hungry, but ke mina I hate it, it's too salty man.

Pooky what is a Hungry Lion?
It's a fake of KFC, it's a shoprite checkers brand.

myname
11 Jun 2009 16:05

LOL Maud, its a take away from Shoprite

maud
11 Jun 2009 16:06

tsho, its better than amankanyanisi nge papa - after you drained the oil ,it becames means meat.

Sobza
11 Jun 2009 16:07

Another salad ethandwa kakhulu ngabodakkie yi beetroot with vinegar. It will dye the whole meal....but they do not care....you will find that salad in kuma funerals ase kassie

carino
11 Jun 2009 16:08

I was reading one of those books they used to make us reading when we were little... I dont know the English word but ke dinaane ka setswana... those ones about the rabbit that was clever and the lion that was king..

And heheheheh.... You see, black children are being told that a lion and a springbok were watching over the garden coz the crocodile was stealing cabbages.... whatsup with that.? No wonder we grow up with so little general knowledge...

zaa
11 Jun 2009 16:10

I don't know im the only one who notices this but why do Southern Sotho speaking ppl (especially from Lesotho) say thirst instead of first? or instead of th they said F eg.

twenty first = twenty thirst
birthday = birthFday ( i know sum ppl also say this jokingly but with them it's a norm)
times (as in 2 times 2) = tymes

and im still tryin to figure out why ppl say number phones instead of phone numbers...

Cody
11 Jun 2009 16:11

say what maud?? that sounds yucky!

I looove ibeetroot Sobza, but i kak like nobody's business if i eat it.

zaa
11 Jun 2009 16:12

meant to say, I don't know IF.....

Cody
11 Jun 2009 16:13

LMAO zaa!!!!!!!!!!! yes they do that!

south africa = safafrika! LMAO!

TerryN
11 Jun 2009 16:15

I looove ibeetroot Sobza, but i kak like nobody's business if i eat it.

ROTFLMAO

Pooky
11 Jun 2009 16:17

twins = Two twins....LOL

Sobza
11 Jun 2009 16:19

I looove ibeetroot Sobza, but i kak like nobody's business if i eat it.

No wonder Manto recommended it. She knew blacks like kaking

Ms. Jay
11 Jun 2009 16:22

I couldn help but come back here....kwakwakwakwakwakwakwakwakwakwakwk soem of these lines are killers!!!!! u4me!!!!! hayi sisi you have one good memory!!!! I wouldn remeber all these things....waitsi TVSA is da boomba!!!!

odie
11 Jun 2009 16:22

the goat fat - its more like lemipi - dont know what it is called in english. the white part that wrapps the liver. so we take it and fry it with a bit of water. to make the oil.
it then looks more like holsum.

cleve
11 Jun 2009 16:23

How the mom used to brag about tupperware and ibrasso (that gold stuff that they used to decorate with in the house)

odie
11 Jun 2009 16:26

LOL

zaa
11 Jun 2009 16:27

LoL@Cody....true that

Sobza
11 Jun 2009 16:27

Nkosi yam black people kodwa....if you go to abo Pick 'n Pay you will find minced lungs...either awegusha or awenkomo. White people but those for their dogs.....not black people, ke seshebo phela....

Sobza
11 Jun 2009 16:31

White people but - meant buy

Nonny
11 Jun 2009 16:33

White people but those for their dogs.....not black people, ke seshebo phela....
kwa kwa kwa yet we still don't get sick!

mstick
11 Jun 2009 16:35

I looove ibeetroot Sobza, but i kak like nobody's business if i eat it.

tl tl tl tl tl tl tl..........me too eish.........

Hello Cleve-age.....

maud
11 Jun 2009 16:38

bye everyone gym time

Nonny
11 Jun 2009 16:40

bye everyone gym time
Bye Maud, it's been fun!

myname
11 Jun 2009 16:41

I also luv i beetroot but not with vinegar. I dont like that sour thing.

I buy it ko free market (estratweni) nge R5 a pack & cook 4 myself. When its cold, i put sweet chillie sauce. No suger needed. Its so nice Cody.

I looove ibeetroot Sobza, but i kak like nobody's business if i eat it.
Now that u mentioned this, i was wondering????? ROTFLMAOL, yhuuuuuuuuu Cody usile maan!!!!

myname
11 Jun 2009 16:46

Ciau guys....You r kak funny! (inspired byCody)

Venusseed
11 Jun 2009 17:35

ROTLMBSAO!!!! Kwakwakwa!!!! you guys killed me......

Can you guys translate this into English:

" ZUMA KE PRESIDENTE YA BOKAE YA AFRIKA BORWA?"
"UZUMA UYIPRESIDENT YESINGAKHI YA SE SOUTH AFRICA?

TerryN
12 Jun 2009 07:41

twins = Two twins....LOL

LMAO

Best-Achiever
12 Jun 2009 07:51

You get to burry your grandmother 3 times a year, the grandmother that you never saw in your life!

You go borrow money to buy doctors sick note to stay in the house and chill with unemployed friends, come next day you dont even remember what you said you were suffering from.

myname
12 Jun 2009 10:29

I dont know whether its only blacks but i've been noticing.....

Why people like poking their noses in public with that finger???? Sies maan!!! That thing is for kids bazokhula (thats what my grandma used 2 say).

Or when they are using toothpick bevungula. Is it a show off nha?????

Loreal
12 Jun 2009 14:12

Every lotion is called DAWN even Camphor
Toothpaste is Colgate even CloseUp or Aquafresh
Margarine is RAMA even if it's Rondo or Blossom

monchooza
12 Jun 2009 14:18

amajita ekasi when the gazata (hlanganisa) they say baya compromiser.....lol

cleve
12 Jun 2009 14:24

Hello Match-stick!!!!!!!!

Nonny
12 Jun 2009 14:27

amajita ekasi when the gazata (hlanganisa) they say baya compromiser.....lol
kwa kwa kwa kwa yeah they do hey.

maud
12 Jun 2009 14:30

@myname - dont even go there ,especialy man, then bavele bacame nje esithubeni Sis , and i think is only black man , bafinye , bacife amathe phansi ,oohhhh

myname
12 Jun 2009 16:11

LOL Maud bt im so feeling u babes. Its disgusting dear!

TerryN
17 Jun 2009 08:05

29.Everytime we start a dance or something 2 do with group co-ordination...we don't say 3,2,1
we go ONE-TOH ONE TOH!!

ROTFLMAOTIPAL

Floh
22 Jun 2009 23:06

Pooky what is a Hungry Lion?
It's a fake of KFC, it's a shoprite checkers brand.

I didn't know that, thanks for educating me.

I am a victim of i Rama, I can't diferentiate, Rondo, Blossom, Stork konke i LAMA. My late Granny used to call it IBHOTELA.

Ch0cl8berri
23 Jun 2009 00:22

You know o eteste darkie when mum says...Eletsa aus' Mantwa(visitor) drink=soet ait(cool aid)+ di-ice block... You know o kwa darkie when the room divider with a missing door has a wide display of dinner sets,table charm and all your school certificates(covered in cellotape) and valentine presents crammed in there for all to see...ish,I hate cleaning ko magriza,30 whole min to dust...

Ch0cl8berri
23 Jun 2009 00:28

..."tshwara R5,00 o reke seshabo,onke skaftin(container) se se golo and o skabe wa ja le letlapi le 1..."...=tonyt it's pap and artcha. Black people know how to economise 4 sure.

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