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Urban Bojale

Written by Segololo from the blog Oh Moments on 04 Jun 2010
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No-one ever mentions the times when girls used to be sent up the mountain to the initiation schools called BOJALE to apparently allegedly be taught the ways of a woman; the correct behavior and mannerisms, the sexual and all the cultural expectations. Nowadays in urban societies, it is expected the family will do the best they can to ensure that a young woman represents the family well when she ventures out the home. 

bojale

But how much of the customs and lessons the young woman would have received from the initiation school is never imparted on her? Where is she now expected to get these lessons? This leaves her to learn from observing her family on the cultural matters and the sexual experience and lessons from friends. Is this an ideal situation? Will all the lessons she needs be taught? 

Girls dancing, Menkhoaneng, Lesotho
This travel blog photo's source is TravelPod page: Girls dancing, Menkhoaneng, Lesotho

Most tribes still practice the initiation schools regularly but the decision to be a part of these schools lies solely on the family’s belief and their eagerness to ensure their child is taught about their tribal customs and traditions. Whilst a majority of the families, in urban societies, don’t allow their children to be a part of these schools, it doesn’t stop the minority figures that do from ensuring their children are part of it. 

Most times the schools get bad publicity due to infections, genital mutilations and deaths that happen that not much of what happens that may be good or reinforce the need for the school is discussed. The schools shroud their teachings in so much secrecy that the initiates never ever utter what happens there and promote the experience. I do not expect them to give a blow by blow account of the happenings but a general overview will help those who have heard too much negativity about the schools. 

naughty pack

What intrigues me is the sex education – if any – that is taught at the schools. For generations, those people that attended the schools rumours would always be heard of how fabulous they are in the sack. Those that had the guts to tell what transpires on those “hot, sweaty and glorious experiences” with a wo/man from the initiation school would swear those skills are only taught there. 

However, there has been a recent surge in the townships for sex education by people that either advise on matters of sex or sell sex toys. The people in the industry are saying that business is booming in kasi’ across the country as they get invited to share or sell at NAUGHTY parties. Is this the urban bojale? 

naughty picks

How will this trend affect the sexual attitudes of the people that believe and practice traditional custom sex education from the initiation schools? Will they be open to learn about tea-bagging, oral sex and nifty toys – if it is not taught in the initiation schools already? 

How will or does this enhanced sexual experience with aids of toys affect the sex lives of those that use them? Does the sexual experience become boring if the toys are not used? Does the sex become too much of a chore with the added toys? 

Have you been to a kasi NAUGHTY party? How was the experience? Would you recommend it to those who haven’t? What did you learn that you did not already know? Was it value for or waste of money?





61 Comments

GML
04 Jun 2010 08:02

Sounds interesting and would love to hear what the bloggers will say about this one.

I am however interested in what prompted you to write this article.

mathata
04 Jun 2010 08:47

initiation school

1.....do you know those days when we milked the cows......they pull your clitory like that.until is long like penis(ppl are cruel)they cut half clitory n they fry it for you.

2......you see that whole on d cake.......they cut  that muscle.....n they put a dry corn some days

3...they saw it(you can ask who"s a doctor there)

For the rest of your life  you wont know anything about Climax........they believe that women should satisy their husband 24/7.......it do works for them bcs they cutoff that muscle........what is left is just whole......(river of jordan)any fish can swim.

those years i used to think once you go to this school .... you will get married soon........even today some women still waiting,but they been F** like hell.

PIC NO 2 those are  PROFESSIONAL HOME  WRECKERS,they are good on giving any  Dog a service.

Sex toy is better than any meat,bcs you dont have to wake anybody,you can scream they way you want without anyshame...........pee at end...........case closed

carino
04 Jun 2010 08:56

LOL @ the ALL STARS on Pic 3

zozoe
04 Jun 2010 09:10

.....do you know those days when we milked the cows......they pull your clitory like that.until is long like penis(ppl are cruel)they cut half clitory n they fry it for you. >>>>>>>>> what ?  

i also wanna know the importance of initiation schools especially for women

SistaBB
04 Jun 2010 09:35

.....do you know those days when we milked the cows......they pull your clitory like that.until is long like penis(ppl are cruel)they cut half clitory n they fry it for you. >>>>>>>>> what ?
Yes zozoe that is true, I'm not sure about the frying part but I know that it was cooked together with corn

cleve
04 Jun 2010 09:46

I don't know but for me it sounds cruel though. Maybe the teachings are good for us but I don't know what my clitoris has to do with me being a good woman........

LOL @ Proffessional homewreckers

zozoe
04 Jun 2010 09:53

Cruelty at its best

nonzuzo
04 Jun 2010 09:54

.....do you know those days when we milked the cows......they pull your clitory like that.until is long like penis(ppl are cruel)they cut half clitory n they fry it for you.  OMG!!!! goodness me!!!

it do works for them bcs they cutoff that muscle........what is left is just whole......(river of jordan)any fish can swim. what's the point ke if its just a hole, isn't this initiation thingie about satisfying the men?? how will they be satsfied if its just a river of jordan like Mathata says?


Segololo
04 Jun 2010 09:57

GML>>I am however interested in what prompted you to write this article.<<  What triggered this article was my attendance to a Naughty party over this past weekend... I was listening intenltly to the woman giving advice galore and wondered what Bojale was like - was it as fun as this event or was it more cruel than that...? Was the information for the girls(they were pretty young girls - just getting into puberty) as intriguing as it was for amaexperienced sisters that I attended the party with? what valueable infor did those lil girls get? Was it valueable? did they see or feel the value in their lives later on?

My great-grandmother attended the initiation school and swore that no-one in her bloodline will ever go to the school. she never said what heppened? she died at 97 and I was already 18 but she never ever uttered a word about the experience so we all concluded it was traumatic but the question still stood why was it needed? why was the school so important in those days? what happened there?

cleve
04 Jun 2010 09:59

Yes zozoe that is true, I'm not sure about the frying part but I know that it was cooked together with corn

O Lord and do you eat it????

mathata
04 Jun 2010 10:08

have you seen a Satan snake on the tree?same to that long clitory n penis,your clitory will hang in d hubby's  penis like a snake.

their point is  once they cut off that muscle you wont be able to climax.....thats their point,so if is river of jordan the hubby can F** the way he want.

Cande
04 Jun 2010 10:08

OMW Segololo, this title caught my attention.. lemme read

Green.arrow
04 Jun 2010 10:08

Hai hai hai Mathata wa ntshosha....

My mother and grandparents would hear nothing to do le di koma
There was a time when i would go home home and all the girls had been ko komeng, and whenever we'd go ka nokeng, they'd hudle together and show each other their privates and only those who had been ka komeng were allowed......rena "mashoboro" we were not allowed in the circle...as it were, i was the only one :-(

But sadly those girls today.....ke sono.
So may ask further a question that has been asked over and over. Is it still necessary?..initiation schools and what not?

I know nothing about the kasi NAUGHTY parties tho'...

Mathaz
04 Jun 2010 10:09

It was my mom's custom and culture for one to attend "Khomba" still is and she does not talk about the experience, i think it's a rule that they get there not to share what happens...my sisters and i never went and it was never an issue with us.  Both my cousins went and a few months after they both became pregnant.  I think this business is a right of passage for them to engage in premarital sex...

Kim Possible
04 Jun 2010 10:09

LMAO @ Mathata's response....

Holiday
04 Jun 2010 10:17

My boyfriend went for a circumcision i cant feel him like before is just like hes wearing a jersey that is to small. I think a person who cut his Willy Nilly took the whole meat.  

Segololo
04 Jun 2010 10:19

Green.arrow>> Ke sono>> What do you mean? how? what happened to them? 

Mathaz>> Was it by choice that you and your sisters did not go or was it your parents decision? the pregnancy thing kinda makes you wonder if the school impreses upon them the need to be promiscuous or engage in sex early... But what scares me is those girls are always so young.,,

Cande
04 Jun 2010 10:23

tjo Sego, what happens @ bojale stays @ bojale! What i hated about people who went there back in the rural areas, they came back to bully people who didnt go there. They were women even in primary school and expected the teachers to treat them differently from us.. But they never told anyone what they did there, and they used to take people by force if you walk around the village in the evening.... Maybe in your great grandmo's times there were great lessons now, but now haiye!!

zozoe
04 Jun 2010 10:23

My boyfriend went for a circumcision i cant feel him like before is just like hes wearing a jersey that is to small. I think a person who cut his Willy Nilly took the whole meat>>>>>> triple lol
@Mathata i always see girls with clitories that are long but they theirs are not cut do they also have a Jordan river,,,,,,,,,,, jo Jeso Thusetsa

mathata
04 Jun 2010 10:24

@HOLIDAY.....they can fix it by taking a thigh skin mos....problem solved.


90% of women who went to this school they are not llucky with men.......they say once you go there you will be fabulous in bed.....lier!

myname
04 Jun 2010 10:26

do you know those days when we milked the cows......they pull your clitory like that.until is long like penis(ppl are cruel)they cut half clitory n they fry it for you

I think cutting the clitoris is wrong. Is it the same thing that makes u groan when u making love????  

My mum never done it so nam i never done but they say uba mnandi.

Nokia 5110
04 Jun 2010 10:27

LOL @  Holiday

GML
04 Jun 2010 10:28

I see Sego

We had a friedn of our go there and when we met her while she was at the school, her hair was shaven off and they walked bare foot (mid December in the heat) and she looked red all over and smelled horrible.

due to that I never really understood what about being dirty, bare foot and stinky made me a good woman or wife for that matter.

Do they also teach people how to cook and sew at that school? Because being a "complete" woman means being able to take care of your family in all aspects.

I have never attended a naught party except my bridal shower (the best ever lol).

Relevance of these schools is debatable- What does my clitoris have to do with it?


Mathaz
04 Jun 2010 10:37

My mom just asked if we wanted to go and we all said no so it's by choice but you must admire the gifts that one gets at the "graduation ceremony".  In the rural areas you would be frowned upon if you do not attend an no man would want to marry you...

Green.arrow
04 Jun 2010 10:39

 Ke sono>> What do you mean? how? what happened to them? 
Ke sono in that (and im not exaggerating).....of all of them, none finished matric (except 2 but that was it). They have a lot lot lot of kids. Its been a while since ive been to my granddads (he passed) now i hear from cousins that there is wave of getting married and getting married fast, its all they look forwad to now,their parents have di society tsa go nyadishana....
If anyone is from Jane Furse (ka madibong) they can attest to this or correct me if im wrong. But its a saddening phenomena going on there. The worst part is some of them were very very young. Imagine 8 yr olds going there and coming back to be categorised as women, and boy do they walk the women walk le bona.
Im hoping that all girls born say after 1994 are not continuing the trend but 1994 and back...its very sad.

Like Mathaz says I think this business is a right of passage for them to engage in premarital sex.......

Im sure there is a lot of factors that contribute to the state of youth in the rural areas. But  for the early pregnancy, my believe is that this schools perpertuate the tendencies.

Green.arrow
04 Jun 2010 10:46

I guess we will never know the good of going to these schools indeed because those have been dont ever tell.

Mathata....o serious with that hectic description. BTW: you forgot to mention the get wgipped bcos some came back with hideous scars at the back 

But are the kasi naught parties any helpfull...especially as they involve the young teen girls?? 

I keep coming back to the thought that...good family teachings go a long way in this issue, but that is tough thing for most families to crack.

carino
04 Jun 2010 10:58

Yho... and apparently it bleeds, and bleeds, and bleeds.... and they can get infections phayana coz the woman just sits there and chips, chops, chips. chops..
... all of them with the blades and scissors that she just keeps rinsing in salty water.

I also just dont get what a clitoris has to do with being a good woman.

It probably used to make sense back in the day.. and the people who knew how to do it properly were the great, greater greatest grandmothers.

Those who are perfoming it these days have also just adopted it coz it was done on them....  and they dont really know its relevance to our world today.

Mathaz
04 Jun 2010 11:04

This initiation is just a way of degrading women...it is done to keep a woman faithful to her husband coz they belive that once you know the joy of orgasm then you will cheat on your patner and also that men are the only beings meant to enjoy sex hence the cutting of the clitoris.

GML
04 Jun 2010 11:05

I wonder if these women with long clits ever get their men to go down on them, and if they do, what's it like?

Sorry- my mind just wonders

carino
04 Jun 2010 11:08

@Mathaz's reponse.

Does it still keep them faithful, though? Clearly not! Coz that how we end up having all these girls being all over the place though they have gone to the school.

Maybe thats even the absence of the clit thats making them have too many babies... coz they dont feel anything with the condom on, and they hope without the plastic something will give. Then they ump from one man to the next looking for ubumnandi.

Lus
04 Jun 2010 11:18

Holiday- hahhahaha hahhahah...

Segololo
04 Jun 2010 11:23

my biggest gripe with these schools is the secrecy part which makes me feels there's some illegal and immoral ish that happens there and maybe the bad outweighs the good so much they have to act all macho...But it can't all be bad, can it?  there must be a good reason they were started? If those young girls get taken to the mountain to be taught to be arrogant, bitchy lil arseholes with huge egos; what good does that do for any community? What value does it bring to any household or home? What good does it build? Does it not just breed hate?and who determined that the clit is not an important part of the body? Hell, we walk around with an appendix which apparently had some use in our body before we evolved and now is a death machine if it bursta and noone bothers to take it off before it gives you problems...

The Naughty party I attended was with mature, young ladies between the ages of 28 and 38. I would be shocked if there's teens organising these parties...

therapy
04 Jun 2010 11:42

i also do not understand the cutting part,but as for stretchign teh clit i do agree,it becomes nicer later and,it should be done but your husband

therapy
04 Jun 2010 11:45

i also do not understand the cutting part,but as for stretchign teh clit i do agree,it becomes nicer later and,it should be done but your husband

FK
04 Jun 2010 12:41

1.....do you know those days when we milked the cows......they pull your clitory like that.until is long like penis(ppl are cruel)they cut half clitory n they fry it for you. 

They actually pull the labia minora (lips)>  This process does not only end ko komeng.  Once you are back, it is your duty to carry on with the practice and the best days to do this is within 4 days after your periods.  In the olden days - there were no undies and they used to wear thithana - now they pulled this lips so they can tuck them back into the vagina to protect it from dirt and creepy insects.  Also, these lips play a role during intercourse, di tshwara ntoto

carino
04 Jun 2010 13:02

Am I the only person who has issues with the green Sony Ericsson banner on the right hand side of this page.... that says "Extra Man"??? and shows something that looks like a mini circumcised totolozi with an extra something at the end?

Green.arrow
04 Jun 2010 13:05

*whistling shocked and scared*  @FK

FK
04 Jun 2010 13:40

Have you been to a kasi NAUGHTY party? 
Well, it was a friends bridal shower and we had a naughty party.  Unfortunately or fortunately, the people who were teaching / showing us the stuff where from Ghana - different culture.

How was the experience? What did you learn that you did not already know? 
Most of the things I already knew but ke, it turned out that I was doing them wrong all along.  So had to unlearn and relearn their way.  Some were totally new and in my mind I thought they were undoable until it was demo'd to us.

Would you recommend it to those who haven’t? 
Just for fun and not as a replacement to koma.

Was it value for or waste of money?
Value.  My penny was spent well.

I must say that the naughty parties only address 1 part of koma.  The other stuff, we now rely on our parents to impart to us.  They become the basis of our upbringing.

FK
04 Jun 2010 13:48

my biggest gripe with these schools is the secrecy part which makes me feels there's some illegal and immoral ish that happens there 

Ka moetlo wa basotho, you don't share grown up stuff with kids.  If you have not been there, you are regarded as a child.  They are happy to share amongst themselves but not to those who have not been there.  This is also a way of teaching you not to tell the world and his wife about what happens in your hom

Segs - nothing much happens there except ho rutiwa ho kota and how to take care of your punani. Behaviour and Mannerism you already know about it from your family, so they just give a crash course around those topics.

GML
04 Jun 2010 14:23

FK:

at the age of 8 they teach you ho Kota as you say? *SHOCKED*

At that age I was dirty ko strateng playing matin, skop di ball and mogusha.


Green.arrow
04 Jun 2010 15:17

ke eng ho kota ladies?

and @ sego....ke eng Bojale (is it an equivalent ya koma)..what languange/culture is it?
I keep reading it in english...lol...:-(

SistaBB
04 Jun 2010 15:27

you ladies are so funny
Ok, when I was in High School I was taught by this nun who happened to know almost everything and even taught us phonetics and phonology which were not even on syllabus. She taught us about the initiation tradition and she knew almost everything (yet she was a nun). I went to varsity and had some culture modules, that was when I got more fascinated about the initiation thing and went and did lots of research on both sexes. I went to as far as asking people who even thought I knew too much and threatened to take me there. Trying to describe what is happening at initiation schools will take us a year, all I can see are bits and pieces of it written here.

There are "doctors" who cut the clits and they know how they do it.
The clits are cooked together with the corn and yes they eat that, but it not like its whole chunk, just a little piece.

This cutting is called declitorisation and it is done in many parts of Africa especially Muslim communities, I think it was even shown on Oprah 5 years ago. The clit is not totally removed here, it is just cut across and cutting it reduces the sensation and this will make the girl not to be horny (& I wont say like who)... oh this can take me the whole day

GML - the modern initiation schools are totally different from the ones in the olden days, now they are more commercial than anything, that's why kids of 8yrs go there (in the past it was only done once the girl has reached puberty and can be married).

GML
04 Jun 2010 15:33

All I want to know SistaBB is what is the purpose of declitorisation? and the purpose of eating it thereafter?

GA: It means to shag

carino
04 Jun 2010 15:42

The clits are cooked together with the corn and yes they eat that, but it not like its whole chunk, just a little piece.

Hehehe.. so all the small pieces are cooked together which means that motho ends up eating one thats not theirs? Oh God! This is mos cannibalism?

And seeing that its got a fancy nam.. declitorisation... hahaha.. can it also be done professionally at a hospital?

Cande
04 Jun 2010 15:47

LOL @ that term FK

SistaBB
04 Jun 2010 15:49

I dont know about the purpose of eating, but for declitorisation, let me give it from the Muslim perspective: they say that tearing the clit apart cuts a "nerve/muscle" that gives women sexual pleasure, and the believe is that when its not cut the girl becomes horny and starts sleeping around with boys and therefore ends up pregnant or just that once she has sexual feelings she is gonna have sex before getting married (which we all know its a taboo in some cultures).

Although the local women were very secretive about what goes on down there, I had a feeling that "our" declitorisation might not be done in the same way as the others do it, because with those muslims they do not stretch theirs and I think with the local one they just cut the stretched part which still leaves the clit intact.

BTW declitorisation is very popular in most of Northern African countries that The United nations had to intervene and tell those old women to stop doing it as it degrades women, blah blah blah

Green.arrow
04 Jun 2010 15:58

ka leboga GML...
They teach 8 yr olds how to do that..nooo...,,but looking back back home kwa it makes sense why those little kids grew up so fast.:-(


let me throw in 1 or 2 about this declitorisation phenomena...I watched on Tyra banks some times, a guest and one of the cycle 9/10 antm contestants from ethiopia or something.
They said that they were not only declitorised...they also swe together their...what do they call them...outa vulva?...too sad. 

I did not know that they do that even mo mzanzi.

SistaBB
04 Jun 2010 15:59

@carino, the intention is for one to eat theirs that is why they are all cooked together in one pot.

I'm not sure about it having the fancy name, and I dont think it cannot be done in hospitals because there are even organisations (UN) and governments that are advocating against it as it is cruel and takes away female rights to have sexual pleasure

SistaBB
04 Jun 2010 16:02

@carino, the intention is for one NOT to eat theirs... sorry I omitted a word

FK
04 Jun 2010 17:27

GA and GML

Like SistaBB mentioned - kids don't go there only when bavuthiwe then they will be initiated.

Segololo
04 Jun 2010 17:59

SistaBB: Thank You. thank you. Thank you *taking a bow*

I learnt a lot today. Thank you for sharing your knowledge and research with us. I, for one, am very enlightened after reading your replies. I am disturbed though by the cutting, the corn mixture, and the eating of it... jeeze! Are they told before or after they eat that they ate each other's punani pieces? #justasking

I agree with the UN and those people that this lil cutting business even with a fancy name is not on...

SistaBB
05 Jun 2010 00:52

Tjo excuse my bad English guys, i didnt proof read my comments and wanted to say: I dont think it can be done in hospitals

Thank you Segololo, like I said the people from initiation schools are VERY secretive, initiation is one part of culture that I still havent found enough answers in. I think they already know that they wont eat theirs because all the pieces are cooked together and they are not name tagged or something like that.  Believe me I tried to find as much as I could until one day 2 women told me that I seem to know much and they said they will take me there, I just had to leave without answers.

I didnt only research about initiation schools,  I did a whole lot of things from when the child is born, grows up, the initiation, marriage, lobola, pregnancy, death and others,... and I had to leave those stingy mamas alone with their secrets.

Mafresh
07 Jun 2010 15:58

1. Point of correction here: Women do not go to the mountain, but they will build a mokgoronyana in a yard to house them
2. There are different ways used to initiate women
i) mutilation
ii) pulling of clits
iii) sewing the punami ( to stop girls from having sex, this is mostly practised by Muslims in countries like Somalia and other middle/East African countries)
iv) cutting the punami ( preparing u for men not to struggle 2 put it in)

Generally, in my opinion I thinks these schools are only meant to prepare girls to satisfy their husband and they do not teach girls about their sexuality. Meaning only men will have great sex, nxaaa bloody .....

carino
07 Jun 2010 16:14

What do you mean sewing the punani, mafresh?

Mafresh
07 Jun 2010 16:34

they thunga it Carino, so that ungapractisi isex. Like a fellow blogger has said it, one of the top models of ANTM(Tyra's contest) had her punami closed by these cruel traditional extrimists

zozoe
04 Aug 2010 11:09

iv) cutting the punami ( preparing u for men not to struggle 2 put it in),,,,,,,,,,, i must say women who practise this they have PELO TSE MPE

iii) sewing the punami ( to stop girls from having sex, this is mostly practised by Muslims in countries like Somalia and other middle/East African countries) ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,which part do they sew and if your PNN is closed then how do they urinate? atjhee ntho tse tjee




lepoqo
11 Jan 2011 12:59

lepoqo
11 Jan 2011 13:01

lepoqo
11 Jan 2011 13:04

Cnglemother
11 Jan 2011 13:12

iyoh!i neva saw this.eish!

JuneRose
11 Jan 2011 14:48

@ Mafresh - iii) sewing the punami ( to stop girls from having sex, this is mostly practised by Muslims in countries like Somalia and other middle/East African countries)
iv) cutting the punami ( preparing u for men not to struggle 2 put it in)


It is confusing on my side, how come they sew me (stop me from having sex) on the other hand they cut (preparing me for sex)

What  i heard about this, is that there's an old man (with strong pipi hey) there who sleeps with them all, whenever  you feel like practising you go to him. (thats how they prepare them for men)


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