The mystery called LOVE requires a lot from everyone that chooses to participate in its intricate and often hard to fathom rules. But in the name of it, some stay in harsh and crude relationships.
Is Love a choice? Do people choose to “be in love” or is it an uncontrollable steam train that takes over and goes through all sorts of tunnels and beautiful valleys? Is there “the one” or a series of “the ones” that come into our lives to teach us about ourselves? And does “the one” find you or are you supposed to search for them? Is the person you love the choice?
I know that the LOVE topic has been discussed to death, however I find myself pondering these questions as I look at those I know that are physically abused in relationships and sight the reason “I love him”. I have heard of a lady that is a relationship that she will be signing a marriage registry for in about 8 weeks. The man does not work, has never worked and she supports him and their 3 sons. She has been his punching bag for years – and has gotten brave enough to hit her in front of the kids.
The family has told her that they will not be involved in the marriage celebrations due to what she has been enduring. She has made peace with this and will carry on with the wedding and relationship with no family support. What choices has she made for her life and her children? She feels at peace with the relationship because she says “I love him”
What kind of love does she believe in? does love have to hurt, demean and torment? Has he shown her “love” in what the world believes to be love – kind, soft, trusting, respectful and supportive? What kind of lOVE lessons are their children getting as they witness the “love” she has or feels over her own safety and their sanity?
I have heard of people that expressed love is in jealousy.. Is that the fuel to LOVE? Is being overly cautious of the other person’s dealings a way to express love? I know of people that genuinely believe that if they do not get donderred by their partner, it means they are not loved? Could this be the leasson’s they took from their homes as they experienced their parents moering each other in the name of love?
What does love and loving mean to you? Did you choose the person you are with or do you feel that love chose this person? What does this person bring to your relationship that makes you feel LOVE? What struggle would you not be a part of that would make you believe that you are NOT loved if the person you loved crossed that line?