Belly-rings need to be kept secret, in cringe, 80's jeans.
On Saturday's episode of
Popstars (23 October): the Top 30 get whittled down to Top 20. Which is when - and why - I went
on location to the show recently.
I haven't been able to spill what happened before now, because of it being a spoiler about the Top 20. I've spoken to them and interviewed them. And sort of know who they are.
What happens in the episode is that they get put through their paces by the press, as part of their training for if they win. Journalists from various publications from round the country are part of the action and we all quick-fire questions at them, both realistic and imaginary ones.
We didn't know their real names at the time - they took on nicknames, organised themselves into groups of five and we interviewed them as if their group had made it to stardom by winning the show.
As a result of the experience, behind-the-scenes goss I scooped and my snooping over time, I've identified these 10 biggest pitfalls faced by stars:
1) The press natch. You need to deal with them (without smacking them) and pretend that you like them so that they'll write about you more. They will
always want to catch you doing or saying something wrong. They'll ask you one question just to get the answer to another - that they won't tell you about. They'll find people that you didn't know you know, who'll dish. They inhale scandal to
breathe.
2) You have to waste years of your life Tweeting irrelevant thoughts to strangers who can't wait to bring you down through gossip. Unless you know someone who'll take the finger-strain for you, like Hugh Jackman's assistant.
In case you didn't hear the story at the time: he was a big tweeter, with lots to say, until it was
uncovered that it wasn't actually him, his assistant had helped him tweet, pretending to be him.
Hugh Jackman's latest tweet: 26 May 2009. About a month-and-a-half after the scandal.
3) You have to apologise a
lot. To everyone round the world. Including people you've never done anything to. Even for things you don't regret e.g. Tiger Woods. One moment he was being himself with all the cheating and next thing he had to apologise for who he is.
4) Then he lost fountains of cash. You have to have pre-nuptial agreements up-the-wazoo. You also have to find complicated, delicate ways of telling the person you're about to marry that you trust them less than your lawyer and need them to
sign.
5) You can never go to a hairdresser where anyone can see you.
Ever. You have to find someone who can do a decent enough job, who hides. Have you ever spotted Percy Montgomery at a hairdresser getting those highlights done? Nope.
6) Ditto Number 5 when it comes to gyming, shopping, waxing, going to the Spar in slippers, leaving the house for the day with bedhead.
7) You
always have to live above your means. Unless you're Oprah.
8) The very fact that you
are a star - because there are those who'll be thrilled should you suffer a fall.
 |
| Mean-ass bodyguard with Daddy Popstars. |
9) You're not free to do whatever you want, whenever you want because you'll
cause chaos if you do.
While I was on set I met and chatted to the head of Popstars security (see pic). Real name: Brian Cooks, known to everyone as Daddy Popstars. He's worked with the show for three seasons, including the
first season.
He's responsible for various things, including making sure that everyone's safe in the Popstars house and during live performances.
Turns out that one of the people to have caused the most trouble has been 101's Preston "Vusi" Sihlangu. You may remember, he seemed unlikely to, but apparently he was wild.
He'd go out on joyrides in the middle of the night - in the car he won on the show - and one night DP got a call saying that he'd crashed it into a curb. The car had to be towed back to the house in the early hours and it was kept hush-hush.
10) You can
never wear a belly-ring that people can see. Also spilt by DP: during a performance by 101, someone in the audience went berserk when they spotted Pam Andrews. They grabbed for her, wanting a piece of her - and ripped out her belly-ring.