"Popular actress, well known celebrity, for years, she hid her heartbreak behind the make-up, but now Candice Derman has finally found the courage to speak out about her ordeal," or something along those lines, were 3rd Degree's ad during the weekend for last night's episode.
Candice told Debora Patta how, from the age of eight, she was sexually molested, even raped, by her stepfather apparently named Joe (what a random name) She stated that the abuse went on until she was 16.
Indescibable. It's easy to keep a bad secret, is the book Candice wrote probably in a bid to help other victims of sexual abuse and a possible healing process for herself. Like any other journalist, Debora Patta asked Candice why she kept quiet about the situation for such a long time. "I didn't want to ruin my family and I felt that I would be responsible for anything that would happen afterwards. My stepfather Joe was very clever and manipulative, he told me this is what God wanted and that my mother would approve. He manipulated me not to say anything," was her reply.
In an interview with local gossip magazine Heat last year (20 - 26 November edition), Candice was asked to comment on this statement:
Heat: One often thinks that celebrities have better lives than the rest of us. That makes your story even more shocking...
Candice: It's important, also for myself, not to judge or think you know a person until you know them. My life has been blessed, after what I've been through, and it's been a gift to me that people have lofty perceptions of me and my life just because I am well-known. Today, my life is really good, but I've also lived through this, and this is my strength.
Candice also told Debora Patta last night that when she told her mom about it, her mom was broken and blamed herself (mom blames self). "I wasn't angry at my mother for something she didn't know anything about or witness. I had to help her not to blame herself but there came a time when I needed to let her do it herself," she said. She also told Heat magazine: "I think this kind of men [her stepfather type] pick their women very well, my mom was childlike, desiring the most special things in life. Abuse doesn't happen 24 hours of the day, cruelty happens in seconds, it is a small part of your day, so it's not necessarily easy to pick up. Bad things happen in good homes," she said.
Apparently, Candice's book, which I am yet to buy and read, gives a detailed picture of what went on when she and her stepfather were alone. Written in a child-like voice, the book tells how Joe would molest Candice and how he raped her.
Candice's sister told Debora Patta that their home was such a happy family and the man was very good with their mother. "It was too good to be true such that I had to move out of the house," said the sister. An expert interviewed for the show stated that of course paedophiles would do anything to ensure that a false image is portrayed so the truth doesn't come out.
A born actress, Candice shot to fame as Sephanie in the local and now-defunct youth/scholar soapie Backstage. From there on, Candice moved on to play the role of Blue in Generations. Upon leaving Generations, she went back to ETV where her career started to play the role of Samantha Young. The star said on 3rd Degree that she would try her absolute best to hide any signs of abuse and said she did good acting on hiding it but believes maybe there were signs of what she went through.
Heat magazine asked her why she is telling this story now. "I was really ready. I could tell it now because that is not my life anymore - I am seprate from it. When you have worked so hard with something you've been through, you've already processed a lot, so I was at my most right moment to tell my story," she said.
Currently, Candice is happily married to her sweetheart named Jonathan. "I couldn't write the book in my home because it wouldn't be good. Instead I wrote it at restaurants around Joburg," she told You magazine lat year.
Luckily for Candice, her story does have a happily-ever after. Many victims of sexual abuse hardly recover from their traumatic experience. Happily married to Jonathan, when they first met, there was something "magical" about them.
Heat: Okay, tell us the happy story of how you met your husband?
Candice: [When we met] he pretended to ignore me at dinner so I knew he liked me and I asked him to go dancing afterwards. The next day we went for a long walk in the forest that turned into a day at the beach and dinner. The next day I went back to Joburg, and when he offered to take me to the airport I thanked him and said, 'That was fun, let's do it again.'...So we eloped to Mauritius! When we returned we had a quick ceremony in a church - we told the priest we'd been together for 10 years. An on 29 December [2010] it will be 11 years.