Whew. I've eventually gotten my breath back after Saturday night's wild
MAMAs red carpet. It took many glasses of
rosé I tell you.
Which I spent pondering the important question of who walked the red carpet best.
My decision ...
Nomzamo Mbatha for sure. Besides the fact that she was so well dressed, she carried herself perfectly. Did what the photographers asked and got the whole red carpet thang 100%.
Others however were on the other end of the spectrum. Their carpet crimes (together with many others that I've seen in real life and on E!) inspired me to pen my 101's of what schlebs
shouldn't do on the carpet. I'm sure you'll have your own .. please add them. We need a handbook for these people ... what would they do without us?
Red Carpet 101
1. Do not, under any circumstances, walk the red carpet twice. (I've seen it happen!)
2. Don't slouch while waiting for an interview.
3. If photographers ask for your name, be sure to spell it.
4. Arrive just before mid-way through the carpet. Arriving too early looks desperate and arriving too late looks disinterested.
5. Walk the carpet with someone you like. If you're forced to walk it with someone you loathe, the pararazzi will pick it up.
6. Do not go for a spray tan as an accessory. Charlize Theron did it once and the image is burned into my brain. Every time I look at her now I see her as orange.
7. If you hate your outfit, smack a photographer to divert attention. You'll get the added bonus of more than one headline.
8. Rehearse something to say but don't say the same thing to all photographers.
9. Be flexible.(Don't know why - just sounds good).
10. Don't photobomb.
11. If you've just gotten engaged and want everyone to know, wear an engagement ring and tell photographers that they musn't photograph it. It'll be everywhere within the hour.
12. If there's a Kar'trashian on the red carpet and you want attention too, make sure you don't walk next to her.
13. If you have a favourite side to be photographed from, don't let the photographers know or they'll make sure they photograph the other side.
14. If you arrive with a date who's on the verge of being an ex, throw him to wolves by delivering gossip about him that doesn't impact on you.
15. Take a mace just in case.