The PVR IS PREGNANT! Yep, that unbelievable device, DStv's digital video recorder (PVR) IS WITH CHILD, people! And unlike Suri, that magical, mystery creature born of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes (that Penelope claims to have seen), this awaited one is offspring you'll actually get to SEE and play with!
Yes, the PVR and MultiChoice (the people behind this lovely, lovely device) will soon announce the roll-out of what is called - at least for now - the ''PVR to Go''. Oh, and another little thing. . .. you'll be able to record THREE CHANNELS ALL AT ONCE while watching a fourth and fifth if you have two separate TV sets. (Currently users can only record one channel while watching two other TV channels if you have two TV's.)
Details of course are hyper secret, but you're reading it here FIRST! I will probably have to go into hiding, but I'm sure TV addicts and PVR obsessed will have the same reaction as I did when I heard what I'm going to tell you right now. You'll go into adrenalin shock, start getting heart palpitations and struggle to breathe.
Within months (I think it will happen early next year) MultiChoice and DStv will announce the PVR II, or follow-up version of the PVR. New ones will come out with the technology already installed, but if you already have one, you'll simply be able to download the new technology that will unlock the kiff new features straight from the PAS7 satellite orbitting above Southern Africa.
Back to the baby news. First, no. Nobody has actually yet seen baby Suri. Unless you're a third level Scientologist. Secondly, the ''PVR to Go'' - and I promise this is true - is a portable media player similar to your iPod which - and I'm so excited I almost can't type - you'll plug into your PVR.
The PVR to Go will instantly synchronize with your PVR, downloading everything you've got stored on your PVR's hard drive. You'll unplug and will have whatever you've recorded to watch and take with you in the car, have it with you in the line at the bank, at the beach; wherever you are and want to watch the next 14 episodes of Prison Break (speaking of which, Michael Scofield will be back running from the law on M-Net in March in the second season!).
3rd Degree anchor and news hound Debora Patta and I were sipping champagne poolside at a party when I filled her in on the fantastic gossip (she's a HUGE Desperate Housewives fan). Even Debs, for a woman who has seen it all, squealed in delight that soon the PVR will come with a lovely mobile device.
The other incredible bit of news is also SO TRUE - and I know its unbelievable! - but here it is: come November PVR lovers will cry. Yes, you will shed a tear or even fill a whole bucket.
Other crazy-delicious functionalities will include the TV power of a true one touch record button. I hate it when programmes start earlier or overrun by a few minutes. Currently the PVR starts a timed recording a few minutes earlier anyway and stop recording a few minutes later than normal anyway, but a new function will make the PVR even more clever.
It will know by itself if a show's starting time moves earlier and it will keep recording for you as the dutiful slave it is when a show runs longer than expected for whatever reason (some national funeral on SABC2, anyone?)
Also on the cards but unconfirmed is the little function whereby you just record a show once and then get the option of telling the PVR to actively seek out the specific show and simply record every single episode of the programme - for instance every episode of a whole season of Desperate Housewives. The only desperation left will be where to find the time to actually watch it all.
MultiChoice who thought they'd sell 30 000 PVR's in a year's time since the device made its market debut in November, already has 50 000 people who own and use a PVR. And that's after only eight months!
As the device grows in popularity, viewing habits here in South Africa - as they're doing in Europe and America - will definitely change. Mommy PVR - and her soon to be born PVR to Go baby - is opening up a whole new TV era.
Oh, did I forget to mention the words ''world first''? And no, I'm not on a MultiChoice payroll or anything. In fact, they'll probably want to kill me for spilling more intel than Sydney Bristow ever had. I'm not getting a cent for making this sound like an infomercial, but its nice to think that the tip of Africa is actually leading the way in more than one way when it comes to digital personal video recorder technology.
I can't wait to see what Suri actually looks like. If the kid actually exists. At least I know that the PVR to Go is really in my PVR's tummy!
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