I seldom get bored and nothing gets to me like a TV show that's supposed to entertain but ends up putting me to sleep. That's what happened last night with
Strictly Come Dancing. The down-low below:
I see Sandy has not discovered TVSA yet cause the girlish giggle is still there. The show started with the couples lining up on stage looking glam and proper. My partner walked in and asked "Who's that looking like Pitch Gold Afro?"....I pretended I didn't hear his question.
For those that don't know, D=Dave, S=Salome, L=Lillian and T=Tyrone. Are we on the same page now?
1. Erald and Mary dancing the JiveI could have kissed grampa Erald's cheek yesterday. His attitude did a complete about-turn; he even uttered the words "I'm lovin it." Must be the MacDonald's he had for lunch. Hee hee. After his performance last night, Erald's my man. I loved his energy, his dance moves- the man can dance, the jive, hell, I loved the song as well. Mary was looking sexy and lithe as usual.
Tyrone commented that they had broken the cardinal rule of the jive by the lifts performed so he would penalise them for that.
Scores: D=6,S=6,L=8,T=4 TOTAL SCORE= 24
2. Lieschen and Ryan dancing the FoxtrotLieschen rocked up in a blue (or whatever colour it was) flowing number reminding me of a Marilyn Monroe impersonation gone wrong. I'm just not feeling the chemistry between this couple. Something's amiss and I can't put my finger on it. I was bored watching them dance and got irritated when the dance took too long to end.
Scores: D=7, S=6, L=6, T=3 TOTAL SCORE= 22 (This has to be the first 3 in the history of SA SCD).
3. Thembisile and Thabo dancing
I will say one thing about their outfits...I saw a vision of my grandmother in the background.
Pitch Gold Afro acted like a drama queen complaining about the heat, the dance routine and generally being lethargic. James Brown must have been turning in his grave.
I feel good sounded like
I feel bland thus the dance lacked the beat it would have had the song been done the original way.
Scores: D=6, S=7, L=6, T=5 TOTAL SCORE= 24
4. Hezekiel and Lindsay dancing the Foxtrot
During the dance rehearsals, Hezekiel kept grumbling about one thing or the other and generally being a bore. In the end Lindsay stood with one hand one her hip, her index finger pointing at Hezekiel and muttered,"
One more incoherent word outta ya, i'ma duct-tape you!" Hezekiel paid her no attention and as they say, the rest is history. On to the dance floor they trotted (well just Lindsay) and I finally figured out why Hezekiel's still in the contest...he makes Lindsay look great! She was in her element last night and Hezekiel just seemed like Mr Boogey Man tip-toeing on stage (remember the manyonyoba?).
Scores: D=9, S=7, L=8, T=4 TOTAL SCORE= 28
5. Patricia and Marcel dancing the jivePatricia does the most amazing intros with little effort. That Beyonce booty-shake was so bootylicious. I finally caught a glimpse of what makes her a great performer. She ended the dance with a KhanyiMbau/Khabonina stretch..... splendid, ooh I loved it! Marcel on the other hand, went for a peroxide overdose and looked like a bad impersonation of a Justin Timberlake look-alike. The last time I saw that line in a man's hairstyle was when Nelson Mandela walked out of Victor Verster prison with his fist in the amandla-salute.
Scores: D=7, S=6, L=8, T=5 TOTAL SCORE=26
6.Candice and Quintus dancing the foxtrotDuring dance rehearsals, Candince went whining-overload on Quintus and he profoundly asked her, "Do you think I'm being too ambitious to get these things [dance moves] right?" Props to Quitus for that line. hehheee.
Candice is a beautiful woman. She wore a white number with the rainbow flowing behind her....NO, NO, NO <Put the msn animated NO here> Can we get smileys, please??? They looked graceful on stage and I had nothing else to write about them. I just wish SCD puts a stop to the live performances and just plays original versions. I can even hook them up with pirated copies if they wish...
Scores: D=8, S=8, L=8, T=
a well deserved 7 TOTAL SCORE= 31
7. HHP and Hayley doing the jive
At least HHP is finally losing centimetres and WILL gain decent-looking biceps, what with all the lifting he had to do in dance practice. Hayley is beautiful and cute and lovable...oohh that mrapa-dancer outfit she wore looked so great on her. HHP donned the size-5 shoes again and a bomber jacket (LUMBA mntwana). Poor man was huffing and puffing and sweating in that jacket but that didn't stop him from dazzling me with his dance moves. Props to you big guy. ♫♫♥♥♥
Tyrone mentioned the lift-ban on the jive again.
Scores: D=8, S=8, L=9,T=6 TOTAL=31
Except Tyrone, the judges are ass-kissers. If HHP/Hayley broke the jive rule, why did they give them such high marks? Not that i'm complaining, but the role of a judge is to be fair and transparent...or at least that's what I thought.
☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
Heinz Winkler performed and announced that he'd been married for 8 months. Sandy and co-host announced the "safe" couples and I swear the next time I hear the phrase
"The next couple who are safe...." again, I'm going to have a fit!! Then Thembisile and Thabo were given the dancing shoes...and i had to pick my jaw from the floor. Then i switched off the TV, the lights and trudged off to sleep.
I am still baffled about why Hezekiel's still in the contest..........