They holler, they make us sing off tune, they make us laugh, they make us whine, That is what each child brings to the world! All they need in return is love and acknowledgement, like everyone else. But what do celebrity kids get that distinguishes them from “normal" children? Their ugly names...
Why? why? Why would you call your child "Chastity Sun" or "Jack Daniel"? Beats me! But Sonny Bono and Cher's daughter is Chastity Sun, Gabriel Byrne and Ellen Barkin's son is Jack Daniel... (And if you don't know who Gabriel Byrne is I suggest you hire "Enemy of the state" and find out!) What possessed them to believe that the name would bring their child pride and joy in saying “Hi, my name is Jack Daniel.”
These poor children propably use other names! They also pray that their names will never be screamed across a full government office or a bank queue… Can you imagine waiting in a bank queue to see those snippy consultants and the next thing one of them calls out “Moxie Crimefighter Jilette”! ? (That would just be unreal!) Have you noticed how the bank consultants and government office people always insist on calling your full name as it is written on your ID? Belevie me, my parents went into some deep thought when naming me, but it just pi$$es me off when those people call my full names! Only my ma should do that!
More examples...
Kim Basinger/Alec Baldwin (Actors) - Ireland, Eliesse
Marlon Brando (actor) - Rebecca, Simon Tehotu, Tarita Cheyenne, Christian Devi, Miko, Maya, Ninna Priscilla
David Byrne - Malu Valentine
Gwyneth Paltrow/ Chris Martin – Apple(daugther), Moses (son)
Toni Braxton / Keri Lewis (Musician) - Denim Cole (son), Diezel Ky (son)
Frank Zappa / Gail Zappa -
Dweezil (son), Ahmet Emuukha Rodan (son), Moon Unit (daughter),
Diva Muffin (daughter) [
I pray to gaad these kids use their nicknames because I can't imagine anyone trying to be romantic to "Diva Muff"]Robert Van Winkle (Vanilla Ice) / Laura Giarritta (Musician) - Dusti Raine (daughter), Keelee Breeze (daughter)
Emma Thompson / Greg Wise (Actors) - Gaia Romilly (daughter)
Roger Taylor / Deborah Leng (Musician) - Rufus Tiger (son), Tiger Lily (daughter), Lola Daisy (daughter)
Shannyn Sossamon / Dallas Clayton (Actress) - Audio Science (son
Sylvester Stallone / Sasha Czack (Actors) - Sage Moonblood (daughter), Seargeoh (son
Sylvester Stallone / Jennifer Flavin (Actors) - Sophia Rose (daughter), Sistine Rose (daughter), Scarlet Rose (daughter) [
No bet what these parent's fave flowere is]
Robert Rodriguez / Elizabeth Avellan (Director) - Rocket Valentin (son), Racer Maximilliano (son), Rebel Antonio (son), Rogue (son),
Rhiannon (daughter)
Rob Morrow / Debbon Ayer (Actors) - Tu Simone Ayer (daughter) (Note: As in, Tu Morrow)
Erykah Badu / Andre Benjamin (Andre 3000) (Musician) - Seven Sirius (son)
Erykah Badu / Tracy Curry (The D.O.C.) (Musician) - Puma (daughter) [
Hope this little girl will be a sprinter]
Tom Cruise / Katie Holmes (Actors) - Suri (daughter)
Jamie Oliver / Jools Oliver (Chef) - Poppy Honey (daughter), Daisy Boo (daughter)
John Cougar Mellencamp / Elaine Irwin (Musician) - Hud (son), Spec Wildhorse (son)
Arthur Ashe / Jeanne Moutoussamy Ashe (Tennis Player) –
Camera (daughter) [
"Camera, Please bring mummy's camera!"]Bob Geldof / Paula Yates (Musician) - Fifi Trixibelle (daughter),
Peaches
Honeyblossom Michelle Charlotte Angel Vanessa (daughter) [
would love to hear the bank consultants calling this one out!] ,
Little Pixie (daughter)
Penn Jillette / Emily Jillette (Comedian) -
Moxie CrimeFighter (daughter) (Penn said "We chose her middle name because when she's pulled over for speeding she can say, `But officer, we're on the same side,'" Jillette explained. "`My middle name is CrimeFighter.'") Okay! I hope the kid sues his parents for “Bad naming and intended humiliation”!!
Hollywood is a strange place, BUT I know African people also sometimes overdo it a bit. I know you also know of some names that make you go “Oh ok! WTF were the parents thinking?”
But it clearly had some special meaning to them. - Lovemore, Motshelanoka, Mmanoga, Ditshebo, Mosetsanagape, Mosimanegape, Mantwa, Matlakala, and the list goes on… (Ok, I am Sotho and can mostly remember Sotho or Tswana names!!) Sanity prevails in our local celebhood, for now. Or Do you have any celebrity baby names that made you gasp and pray gaad that no-one is bitchy or mean to the poor soul!
I know you also have a couple of names that you have heard that made you gasp and give a blank stare because you simply just wanted to drop on the floor and laugh so hard people would think you have lost it.
Tell! Tell! Tell! And if you also can enlighten us on the origins of some of these horrid names, it would certainly help me.
P.S: Tried to get pics of these poor hollykids but it is damn hard...