I am fast approaching 30 – 7 more months to go – and I always dreamed of having a huge 3 day party to celebrate each decade. The first party on a Friday would solely be for my first 10 years – a true frivolous kiddie’s party! Jumping castles, swimming pool and almost to the same extreme as Ms Vittone and hubby went to for their daughter’s b-day party! This is for the child in me but mostly to give my Prince K something to celebrate – His ma coming of age. The second part of the party would be for my teenage years – clubbing until dawn and a huge re-union with all the school and varsity buddies I have kept in touch with since leaving the institutions – in Saturday gala style. The third part of the party will be to celebrate my life in my 20s; therefore a serious family kinda party; costume party braai with all the stiff people that behave like their aged (over 60) even though they are also in their late 20s and early 30s. They get me all worked up but they deserve to celebrate my b-day and I believe they will be trying to relive their 20’s or 30s in their 60s; just wait and see!
Oprah: Women in their 30s in America was the topic for 2/08/2007. Women in their 30s (mostly late 30s) came to Oprah to chat about their lives, the challenges, the lost dreams and religion. What I loved about the show was the diversity of the woman and their views on life and where they are in their lives now. They all seemed really confident in themselves and were not willing to cheat themselves out of their dreams. Some had lost dreams already but they were willing to forge ahead and not let anyone stand in their way. They did not validation that they are a “Someone”.
Julie, Amy and DeChaneThe first True Oprah-style guests had dating issues – or getting hitched pressures. Julie (37) is single Chicago Pediatrician and has tried everything to find a dude – gal has went on the Jewish dating sites (JDate, Match.com), blind-dated by friends and even got a dog hoping some dude will hook up with her! Haaibo! Gal has gone to extremes! What extreme have you gone to find a man? Dimags, any example from my trysts that you can recall my friend? Ha ha ha! I don’t know if I would go as far as getting a dog. I have dated a guy I met via chain-email but I can’t really say I was desperately looking to date at the time like Julie! Anyways, she is having a sperm donor party soon; if it hasn’t already happened because she has decided to have a child via sperm donation. So all her friends are coming by to look at profiles of the donors and pick the best one… Sho! She is desperate! How true can those profiles be? Does anyone double check the info entered by the donors? Or is it “We trust the donor has put the correct info”? Ho do you explain to the child when they are 15 and are throwing tantrums about “knowing their father”? What age does a donor have to be to qualify? Could she potentially have a child with a 73 year old grandfather with Alzheimer’s that ain’t getting any and just makes donations – but has filled in the form as a “37 year old virile, energetic, good-looking, extremely caring, loving and exceptionally fit fitness instructor”? uuurgh!
DeChane (35), a single attorney feels she intimidates men– She is not in a rush to have kids. She is what men in Mzansi call “My, My, My!” “I got my own car, my own place, my own money, my, my, my!! Always reminding the man what she can do without him, an “I don’t need you kinda woman”. And she looks it too! Oprah had to mention that she does look intimidating – Men look at her and think “Ok, Will I be able to afford those boots? Will I be able to maintain that lifestyle?” I was kinda shocked at Oprah for saying this because I always perceived her as a My, My, My! But from that statement I could tell, when she gets home Stedman runs the show! DeChane also kinda stated that men assume that you want to get married if you are over 30 and aren’t already hitched. Is this true? I don’t believe so. Men are never in a rush to get married, or is that why they date young ladies because there isn’t pressure to put a wire on the finger? Do women get more aggressive about getting married as they age or get into their 30s?
Amy (34) divorced mother of four, the challenge is finding a man that will take the full package (as we would say in Tswana “O tla di gapa le dinamane). She does security checks on men (in her words ”criminal background checks”) she has to go on a date with – I would too! There’s too many psycho’s out there! Oprah has shown them to us over and over again, so we know they are out there looking for single moms with kiddies! Her dream was to marry for life; finding herself single again and in the dating scene is quite hard… And the rules have changed! Having the kids doesn’t make it easy either. I was talking to one of my single gals the other day and she told me how all the dates she has been on recently the guys insisted and constantly asked if she had a child! Are single men now getting finicky about single moms? Strange because they leave the women pregnant when they find out they planted a seed and want to be picky when looking for the next victim. I am being too judgmental and I expect some dudes to call me to order. Why do people judge single mothers like that? My ma was divorced at 31 and am proud to say she was a great single mother so I am really protective of single moms…
Mubarakah in her Muslim gear at work. My fave guest was Mubarakah (30); personal trainer, a devout Muslim woman with 4 children; married for 14 years! Yes, she got hitched to a stranger at 16. She states that in the Muslim religion you talk to the opposite sex with the intention for marriage (Clearly she watched Oprah when she spoke to Gary Zukav). She met her husband via another family in the mosque; when he spoke to the dude on the phone before they got married her mom would be on the other phone or sitting next to her! Oh my word! You should have seen my mouth drop at that statement! The statement that endeared Mubarakah to me and made me think – This woman would be fascinating to interview is when she said all women have the same goals and want to ensure their children are healthy and happy, and raised to be positively contributing citizens to the society. And no matter where you choose to worship, every woman wants to know, 'How do you get rid of cellulite?' – I just loved her!
Angela – Mother of eight at 37
Angela, the next guest, was a shock to my system At 37, she has 8 kids – has been a mother for 19 years! She home schools her kids! She doesn’t use contraceptives and has never put a number to the number of kids she wants. Let’s just say I am speechless! When Oprah has one of those shows where she is marketing and advertising a movie or CD I will pen my thoughts about Angela. All I can say now is I envy her.
JennaJenna(31), teacher, married and struggling to fall pregnant is the complete opposite of Angela. She has tried everything to have a child, In Vitro being the last painful resort. I felt pain looking at her taking all those drugs to prepare her body for in vitro and saying she doesn’t need advise from people – People must stop saying she needs to go on a holiday, she needs to relax and accept that she might not have kids… And all her friends and family memebres don’t struggle to have kids. She seriously needed Dr Phil to be the guest guru on the show. I could not help thinking about all those people that easily fall pregnant and do not want the kids. Why? Eish! The power of Mother Nature? I have an aunt that has gone thru this process 3 times, has almost absolutely nothing as her and her husband have sold all they have so she could have her dream. She has approached me to give her some of my eggs so she can conceive. That is all she really wants; a child. And you read or hear about people that dump or bury small babies. Eish! I’ll park this one for another time; just too much for me and too close to home.
Jennifer - My role model!The last guest, Jennifer (37) decided to write her own obituary when she turned 30 and regularly updates it. I actually think this is an excellent idea. Call me crazy but when I read some people’s obituary I sometimes feel that the writer had no clue about the deceased. It sound too impersonal or poetic like someone was testing out their “Shakespeare skills”. I, personally, think that I want people to remember the side of me that endeared everyone to my life; not the schools I went to and were I worked – Those are in a CV for a reason: To get me a job! When I am dead I am not applying for a Job. I also would love to live to a ripe old age of 93 like my great-grandma and know that my great-great-great grandchildren are not tasked with the writing of my obituary and all they remember is my osteoporosis. Anyways, I will murk up the courage to do it after my 3 day birthday party – now I do not want to tempt fate! When she said she would update it when she gets home because her dream of 20 years – to meet Oprah- had come true. Oprah said “You need to dream bigger dreams for yourself.” Y’all know that my dream is to meet Oprah too – and Oprah, that is the biggest dream for me! – I woulda made myself a 13 year-old teen to go to your school!