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Reality Factor

Written by KeleFabulous from the blog Ever Dated A Celeb? on 12 Feb 2008
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My mind’s telling me no
But my body, my body’s telling me yes
Baby, I don’t wanna hurt nobody
But there’s something that I must confess…


Hehehe Ain’t nothing wrong with a little bump n grind. Hehehe then there’s the one that was a huge hit this past December…bhut’ ngi hamba nawe!Shuwi mara these artists are not afraid of laying it out there maan! And, it’s a known fact, MANY a celebrity out there sleep around and don’t bother to use protection. My question is, who are these women and what are they thinking when they do this KNOWING what these people get up to all the time???

*Khabzela used to brag about having 5/6 women lined up outside of his bedroom for their “turn”. Ladies ladies ladies…why do we constantly degrade ourselves in this manner???

*Zombo has had to come out and even admitted to sleeping around and not using any protection. Again, he’s a celebrity, with his pick of women, why go there without taking any precautions?

*We hear stories all the time of wives/husbands/girlfriends/boyfriends who were faithful to their partners but ended up being infected by same partners.

*I know a coupla women (married) who say they insist on a condom EACH and EVERYTIME they sleep with their husbands. No, they don’t trust them.
*We all know of couples who’ve decided to discard of the condom because now they’re “committed” to each other. They discard even though they themselves haven’t been tested.


HIV = REALITY
Yebo!

RISK FACTOR = 50/50
Note this is MY personal estimation. The truth of it is it depends on your age group so use your own judgement. I only know about the risk factor in MY age group….last time I checked they said 1 in 4. This is< I think, not really sure> WOMEN of between 22-28. Apparently this age group is more at risk, along with OLDER men, abo bhut’ ba achievile because niyazi nani ni thanda imali and bona ba thanda ini? Uku sika le khekhe. Right.

WORRY FACTOR
We know about it, we think about it, we worry about getting it, having it…but when we’re in the throes of passion, the worry factor becomes ZERO!

AIDS = The start of THE END
Ja ja ja I know about living positively but in the end we all know what’s gonna happen akere?

This is a somewhat controversial topic. I’ve tried, to no avail, to stop being so controversial and think of other things to write about but I just can’t. I thrive on controversy. Eish, and I’ve been telling myself to stop opening myself up for the whole world (at least in cyber space) and leave a little bit to the imagination…still I JUST CAN’T DO IT!

Before I get into it and start “pointing fingers”, I will start by pointing one at the one in the mirror:

Scenario > We’ve been kissing and touching and groping,grabbing and sucking and licking….erhhh…did I mention this is not for the sensitive reader? My bad! Ja, you get the drift. What most people refer to as foreplay. We both know where this is going. We both want it to go there. Here comes the crunch time. He gives me this questioning look. I read into it and ask if he doesn’t have anything. He says no. I’m thinking I don’t either. For awhole 2 seconds I hear the Disciplined Kele at the back of my mind going BUT!... and then the Damn-I’m-So-Turned-On-And-I-Can’t-Possibly-Stop-Now Kele stomping and tramping on that poor-good-looking-out Angel of myne. We go ahead and do it. Nothing stands in our way. By the way this was OUR first time. It was also MY first time. It was wrong. It was damned risky! But like I said, in the throes of passion, the worry of getting it is ZERO!

After that it seemed kinda pointless to start using protection. We were both like, what’s the point? The point is, there IS a point! Yeah, go ahead and judge me. If you don’t know by now, Kele tells it like it is! And before you start pulling out your holier-than-thou-cap more and more couples are doing the same thing. After a coupla months of being “steady” you think argh what’s the point? Then the whole idea of a condom is scratched. Not because we got tested (I know a lot DON’T) but because we are now “definitely together”…an “item”.

I was lucky, damned lucky, to not have gotten any diseases. The only consequence was my little bambino. I ask myself, time and time again, if I could go back and do things different, would I still have been so careless? If it meant I’d still get to keep my little bambino then yes! But otherwise, NO. Because I cannot imagine a life without my boy! But I do things different now. I HAVE to! I have a child who needs me. I can’t be so selfish and careless now. I have to think of him. I have to act RESPONSIBLY.

Stigmas attached to HIV and AIDS…they’re still there. I think they’re worse now because I personally think if you got it by being careless (like I was being) then you’ve got no one to blame. Had I not been so lucky and been + today I would have no one but myself to blame. But like they say, it’s not the fact that you have it that matters, it’s your REACTION to knowing it’s in you…

I seem to be mumbling but the reason I wrote this is not to lecture or to judge. It’s to point out something which seems to be a trend in this day and age. Yes, we all know how easy it is to get infected by this horrific virus. Sometimes it is out of our control, eg rape. Sometimes we just have blind faith in our not so faithful partners. Sometimes we tell ourselves I only have one partner so I’m safe. It’s understandable. I’ve done it too. But there’s a HUGE difference from that 1 single person you’re with to the one who happens to be a celebrity. Many of them sleep around. We all know this. My question is, why do women out there still continue to sleep with them, whether one night stands or whatever, when the truth is right in front of their faces? And mind you, I’m not saying they’re all alike. Same applies to any men. Why, even when you do get that feeling that you’re not the only one, why put yourself at risk like that? I know I know, it’s the same risk as someone who’s in a steady relationship. The difference is, however, that their faith is based on something concrete, misguided or not, things like trust, having known that person a long time etc etc…unlike a one night stand with a stranger.

Ladies, please tell me why so many of our beautiful women are so careless when it comes to this. Why do we just chuck out everything we know has been programmed into our minds about this the minute that gorgeous/rich/famous hunk comes along athi we sisi ngi hamba nawe? 

PS: Article written by KeleFab, posted by TDC. Miss Fab will update it with pics soon. (*hope so*)





21 Comments

Tshd21
12 Feb 2008 06:07

I am also one of those people who have had izimanga withough a condom...but am glad that I did not contract any desease. 

The best thing I did last month was going for HIV tests...I'm thankful to the person who made me question why I do not know my status....Now I know and plan to keep it as negative as it is. 

Will come back later...duty calls!!

azHOT
12 Feb 2008 06:22

you've outdone yourself again Ms Fab!!! Thought provoling and alarm-sounding, this article is. Thank you.

On the question of why we still do "it" without protection with anybody really is a mystery...!!! Sometime last year I had to take the combo that they give to rape victims after a rubber accident and I was so freaked out(never mind the week-long side effects)!!!! I asked my self how people can just decide to not use a condom when I got so scared after it broke!!!

We're all too trusting for our own good and this thinking "it won't happen to me" is in all of us. 

I was in the taxi the other day and there was a sticker reading"gone are the days when sex was fun, now its a death sentence" and its so true because you can never put your life in somebody else's hands....not in this day.

monchooza
12 Feb 2008 06:31

Good one Miss Fab..........No Manto (condom) no sex simple and i think the first time i heard that was when i was still 12 and even today i believe in it. it does not matter whether you are married or not. NO MANTO NO SEX. unless you are trying for a baby, then you both get tested and and then follow the doctors orders until you conceive then back to boMANTO..its that simple (i say its simple because thats how i do it and so can you)

Nonny
12 Feb 2008 06:32

Thatha Miss Fabulous, u did it again once again, awesome awesome article, yazi u just made me think long and hard (pun intended........LOL)............but ye this is the sad reality!!!!

Nonny
12 Feb 2008 06:35

Nice policy Monchooza!!!

carino
12 Feb 2008 06:51

Nice writing Keles... Good thoughts there. Mina i'm on Monchoo's policy.  

@Nonny, did you block my entries to your GB, love?

Nonny
12 Feb 2008 06:57

Carino I have no idea what is happening today and I would NEVER block ur entries, plz try and post sumthing now and I will thereafter try and rectify the matter........obviously only if I have the "powers".

My aplogies for being off topic, but ke I could never ignore Carino!!!

mseu
12 Feb 2008 06:58

surrrrrrrrrrrrre Monchooza thanks for reminding us about the risks and how easy it is to be infected.

azHOT
12 Feb 2008 07:07

Monchooza...could i bring all the ignorant, stubborn and plain simple stupid men i know 4 lessons??? these men include friends, family colleagues and acquaintances. they seem to think a guy who insists on a condom is a wiss and yet ibona izilima cos they're risking mortality 4 i skoon. i hear them all the time commenting about some pretty girl and going on to say "laphaya, ngingena nge skoon and I wonder, WTF???


i'm so with you Monch... NO MANTO NO SEX!!!

andi01
12 Feb 2008 07:17

Nice article keleFab,firstly I think the reason people are so careless is not only about/ for sex. people have lost faith in themselves, they dont love themselves enough to care. Of course SOME, some people always put themselves last, they would do anything to please others. i have been around de block myself, and i when i look back i realised dat at that time i just didnt love myself enough. i think it is each and every persons responsibility to reach within themselves and discover who they really are. I have and belive me it works, I have dumped an abusive boyfriend, started seeing one a month ago. my confidence is back, I can say NO without feeling guilty of what he is going to say.  i am teaching him to respect me and if he cant, he better leave me as soon as possible. and believe me out of the many many guys I have been with, he is the 1st one 2 show me such respect, and u know why, its bcoz i taught him so.

MADENZA
12 Feb 2008 07:21

Thanks Kele for a brilliant article, i wish we all could do the right thing and condomise, i mean everybody knows of Aids but still we die of it.

Nah Nah
12 Feb 2008 07:34

Ooooh Kele, here i come to the alter with my hands up to repent, i have done it, still doing it with my committed partner.....yhuuuu i am so scared after reading this, i hate reality checks! lawwwwd help me....

azHOT
12 Feb 2008 07:35

@ Andi01 good for you girl!!! i know what you mean and isn't it the greatest feeling when you walk away because you refuse to allow anyone to treat you any less than 10000% respect?

Honeypot
12 Feb 2008 07:55

This is a great article KeleFabulous, I think most of us do fall prey to that scenario, but there is nothing more nerve wrecking than waiting for that rapid test, In just a couple of minutes you count how many times have you been wreckless and you start to imagine how your life might be changed for better or for worse. It's scary how a few minutes of pleasure can just ruin the rest of your life. I am still gathering up courage to go and test kodwa ngiyasaba!!!!

KeleFabulous
12 Feb 2008 13:25

hehe TDC exactly which pics must i upload? of pp's and vjayjays? LOL

me thinks alot of you are being too...i'll say conservative, with your answers. let's get real! men and women do this all the time and andi01 low self esteem does nt apply to everyone who does it without! i know i def did NOT have low self esteem when i did!

honesty guys, we all know some people only use it the first few times and then toss it ou so please try to pull the wool over someone else's eyes. and yes, this is about admiting such, coming to terms with the negativity that comes with and finding a positive way forward. le seke la batla go mbora assomblief!

andi01
13 Feb 2008 00:22

@ kelefab.andi01 low self esteem does nt apply to everyone who does it without! i know i def did NOT have low self esteem when i did!, that is why i highlited some.

azHOT
13 Feb 2008 00:30

i-skooni hooray!.....LOL!

Nonny
13 Feb 2008 00:54

"me thinks alot of you are being too...i'll say conservative, with your answers. let's get real!"............Gaaawd Kele iguily is making me so conservative, kodwa ke I'm gonna share now now!!!

Honeypot
13 Feb 2008 01:15

Say you have tested + and they tell you that you can still leave a long healthy life, if you look after yourself properly. But mina in my head I think of how much pain you will be going through, when you are now full blown, Hayi ke leyo iyangithusa. Kodwa why is it that even though we know there is AIDS out there, we still agree to just let the passion take over and just do it 9/9. I guess kukude la kuyiwa khona !!!

maddie
13 Feb 2008 01:55

was in the taxi the other day and there was a sticker reading"gone are the days when sex was fun, now its a death sentence" and its so true because you can never put your life in somebody else's hands....not in this day.

I saw the other one in the taxi that says in Zulu but I'll translate in English "if you guys were afraid of Aids like you are with iBackseat ngaba you don't have it" Funny!!

On the topic: I've always practiced safe sex since the days I started shagging.My boyfriend of six years, we still use condoms. well there were a couple of incidents where the cd broke and am scared to do itest. 

I'll do it kodwa, and if i find out that I do have it, it wouldn't be of carelessness but Manto just dissappointed me.

One other issue I have maybe you guys can clear it up for me: How safe is foreplay?

KeleFabulous
13 Jul 2008 14:53


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