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Milestones

Written by KeleFabulous from the blog Cherry Baby on 05 Mar 2008
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Being a mother changes you. It changes your perspecive on simple and major things. You become less trusting of people. More suspicious. It's necessary because you have to protect your little one. But when does it become OK to let go of this inability to just let them grow? How does one let go?

My baby started creche the other day. I had hoped and even planned for this to happen when he's around 2 yrs of age and able to construct audible sentences. I wanted him to go out into the big bad world when he would at least be able o come back and give me a full report on who did what where when how and how he felt about whatever was said/done. Unfortunately that was not to be. Circumstances forced me to take him, at 18 months of age...and he's not even talking "our" language yet. *sigh*

I was both excited and scared for him. He is at that age where he wants and needs the company of other children around him to play and get up to things little children get up to. I'd noticed how he'd interact when we went to malls and kiddies' parties and I felt I was somehow denying him that need to be part of the "gang". I was also feeling terrible of always going "Punku no!" "Punku don't touch!" "Punku sit still in your chair!"....DON'T DON'T DON'T....Children are children and we should try as much as possible to just let them be kids. And the problems with my aunt (the helper) were getting unbearable and I felt who am I gonna trust to be honest and trustworthy if I can't even trust my own mother's sister...someone I look at as my own mother...???



Today's the third day and he still cries when I leave him there. The look on his face when I come to pick him up in the afternoons is a sight for sore eyes. I wish I could read his mind and find out what he's thinking and feeling. Hehehe they tell me he's "picky", something he's NEVER done before. He only wants to play with the only other 2 black babies in his class. And he only wants to be "handled" by the black teacher. He banna...I was shocked when I heard this cause he's always playing with every race out there...He doesn't eat bread so when it comes to snack time he goes without as he just wants to play with his bread. He also has a problem with chewy food like meat and chicken...doesn't want to chew so he'll take one mouthful and chew that like it's chewing gum and never swallow. I'm resisting the ever constant urge to just pack him the food he's used to (mash and mushy stuff) as they serve really healthy food there and he has to learn to eat what the rest of the world is eating. At the same time I'm also worried he might just start losing weight if he doesn't start soon. My baby's used to being rocked to sleep. Now when it's nap time he has to learn to go to sleep on his own. Don't get me wrong, this is the best creche I could find, bloody expensive too so I know they're doing a good job. I mean even I fell in love with the place and the staff...

Ja ja ja I know I know they have to learn and grow up and be taught some "independence" but damn if I don't feel like charging in there and give them orders all day when I'm siting at work wondering how he's doing all day. On his first day I called to ask how he was as I'd left him crying and the principal just laughed at me and tried to reassure him. This mothering business is tough!

But this is a good thing. He's getting to play the whole day without any DON'TS! At least he's in a place where he'll learn a little thing about integration (something which is apparently still lacking in this country) and he's being exposed to a different world from what he's used to. Children love to explore so this is a good thing...right? I need some reassurance please! Mothers and fathers out there please help put my achey heart at peace...!

38 Comments

KeleFabulous
05 Mar 2008 07:17

Tdc ngwana wa rona o godile tlhe! 

why can't i upload images? MOD's???

Toodecent
05 Mar 2008 07:24

Now that you made it public I guess people will kknow gore chelete yame e fella kae....? hi hi hi hi.

Nonny
05 Mar 2008 07:26

Nice one Kele now parent bloggers plz talk, so that we future............*far future I PRAY & HOPE.........LOL*  mothers shall read and learn!!!

Cnglemother
05 Mar 2008 07:34

Kfab i am still wiping tears off my eyes, ndiyabuya sisi wam ungaworry!

Vutmi
05 Mar 2008 07:38

intresting, wish i could contribute, absolutely clueless when it comes to babies.

He only wants to play with the only other 2 black babies in his class. And he only wants to be "handled" by the black teacher. Heh hey, propably saw the peeing video. Poor child traumatised.

carino
05 Mar 2008 07:55

He only wants to play with the only other 2 black babies in his class. And he only wants to be "handled" by the black teacher. Heh hey, propably saw the peeing video. Poor child traumatised. 
ROLTMAO

carino
05 Mar 2008 07:56

Vutmi, usile

felfel
05 Mar 2008 07:58

Wow Kele, i'm touched. I don't have kids but i have four nephews & nieces, the youngest are 2 year old twin girls. They are actually going through the same as ur angel with food. They literally don't eat, they live on water and tea and spit out the food or vomit it at night.

Cnglemother
05 Mar 2008 08:00

Kfab you are one of the very few lucky mothers in these days for your child to start daycare at 18 months and i wish i had that luxury/choice. My little one started daycare at 7 weeks as i had to go back to work in order keep his milk supply/diaper rolling. 

At 7 weeks weeks your baby is not even smiling properly yet just a bit of a frown from gas or colic.  I enrolled him in one of the best daycares that the northern surburbs (5 star creche) while i was eating pap and eggs almost everyday but it was ok as my baby's life came first. Dont forget that i dont have a car and  have a friend who picks me up everyday (pay her ofcourse), so there were days i had to go to eNoord taxi rank naye to catch a taxi in cold winter mornings and we all know the queues on mondays are terrible. Queue marshalls and taxi drivers were so considerate & sensitive towards me and they would always say " lo sisi wengane makeze ngaphambili" meaning i should go in first.  

There were times i would even call one of izesheli zam ezingacacanga for favours (pickup and drop offs) and sometimes having to exchange a kiss for the favour even if umntu unuka umlomo. I dont want to make this topic uninteresting by going on and on but i will give other bloggers and chance and i will be back for more. Kuzolunga sisi qinisela.

mseu
05 Mar 2008 08:03

Vutmi kodwa usile yazi uyibone kanjani manje ivideo, because he's only two if I heard right. Kele Don't worry your baby will be just fine in no time and you will not even believe it. There will be a time maybe on a weekend when you will see him taking his bag trying to tell you that he wants to go to the creche. You don't even have to bother yourself when you are at work, if whether he is okay or not that will not do you any good. Take care of him, he'll be a big guy one and you will  surprised how quick they grow. I have a 11 & 10yrs old boy and a girl i sometimes look at them and can't believe they used to be 2 tiny things back then. Your baby will be just fine were he is.

Dabs
05 Mar 2008 08:04

The child you are describing sounds like mine. Well mine is not going to creche yet. He doesn't eat bread, just being cooked vegies for lunch everyday. He also loves to play when he sees other kids, I just hope he won't play opposite when it's time to go to creche. I also feel so bad everytime I leave him at home. I feel he needs other kids. Like you said mothering is so hard but yet the best. I have never rcieved so much love from anyone. I feel very special.

Pooky
05 Mar 2008 08:04

Heh hey, propably saw the peeing video. Poor child traumatised.
LOL @ Vutmi......hinto undihlekisa man

ag bethunana uPunkuPunku.....kothsi mama......oh gal you're so blessed yazi..............cant wait when its my turn, i think i'd cry everyday tears of joy coz everytime i see a baby my heart just melts......

Toxic
05 Mar 2008 08:16

he......I had taken mine to creche at the beginning of the year but spent conutless weeks nursing colds and fever and when she spent 3 nights in hospital i decided to pull her out. It was just too much strain on me and my daughter and i just felt she wasn't ready for it so she's back home where she wants to be. My baby is still traumatised at the sight of the day care kombi and any mention of the staff that works there sends her screaming into her room.

On a lighter note, they learn so much each day and you'll soon be laughing your head off at the stuff your punku does that *hopefully* in no time he really starts looking forward to going there. It's going to be more difficult for you that it is going to be for him cause kids adapt like that! Take pics and try not to transfer your anxiety onto him and YOU'll be fine LOL

spice
05 Mar 2008 08:31

Shem kele I feel you Gal ,no need to worry espc because you have put him in a 5 star creche LOL he'll get used to the programme in no time and like toxic said you'll be LYAO when he 'll be trying to sing to you and you not understanding a word he's saying  it's  just priceless

Cnglemother
05 Mar 2008 08:33

Kfab at home encourage him to eat finger foods as at daycare they dont really have time to fuff over a child who does not like food. Purity Teething biscuits really helped me in getting him in swing of things but my child eats everything under the sun anyway. Peel a pear or apple sometimes and let him suck on the juices and slowly he will give it a bite.And meatwise chicken breast is still the best option for him at 18 months.

 Pls cut on the calls you are making to creche as this is not going to remedy the situation, should there be a problem the caregivers will call you. And he' s gonna come home with bruises and abbrasions and its part of growing up unfortunately.

Cnglemother
05 Mar 2008 08:41

Kfab we will continue ngomso ta!

KeleFabulous
05 Mar 2008 09:56

Vutmi usile!

yho Tox your baby's case sounds severe! Is she one of those that are sickly vele/ My baby's harldy ever sick but i know such things are to be expected now as he's exposed to more and oher unknown germs. he's got diahrhea now...damned spelling!...but i'm hoping nothing as bad as waht you said. in any case myne's still teething so this is expected.

Cnglemother at 7 weeks?! Sho now i consider myself trully lucky! But like you say we ahve to do what we have to do for our babies' sake!

mamuNtintili
05 Mar 2008 10:36

Kfab bubomi sana but akho niks before u know it uzobe seke jwayele.  Andiyazi ke le ka Vutmi huwooooo usile sana uthi inoba yila Video le imemza ukuba afune abantsundu kuphela hahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa 

Eish Cnglemother r u really a single mada in real life?  I can sense a lot of good parenting skills apha kuwe.  Sana ubomi ngumzamo and noba unemali or awunamali ubomi abuphinde nje bufane nakuqala xa unomntana, ngcono aye aCreche dear coz ooAunty abakho reliable umntu uske alibale ziRepeats ze soaps amhoye umntana only xa eqikelela ukuba abazali bayeza huwoooo khaniyekeni ke ndiyopholisa umphokoqo wam.

Brown Shuga
05 Mar 2008 11:11

<<<<<<<He only wants to play with the only other 2 black babies in his class. And he only wants to be "handled" by the black teacher. >> Heh hey, propably saw the peeing video. Poor child traumatised. >>>>>>

LMAO

Tshd21
05 Mar 2008 11:39

No comment Kelefab....no bambino....hopefully exactly 10 years from now...hi-hi-hi........
otherwise how u doing gal???


MamuNtintili....Not everyone on this site, myself included, is able to read your beautiful language...please compromise sisi...I for one would like to read and understand all replies on tvsa...

Cande
05 Mar 2008 12:17

Lol @ da peeing video. You guys just make my day

suzzy82
06 Mar 2008 00:11

Kfab don't worry we've been there all those things r normal,mine started creche at 1year he used to cry when i'm leaving him there ,nam ke bendihamamba ndilila ukuya emsebenzini.
After two weeks he get  used to the enviroment ,having friends u know !!!they know how they communicate to each other with their baby language .
and after that he has never stay home with aunties i'm having a peace of mind ,

Yes he might loose some weight ,but make sure that everyday he get his favourate meal ,and a glass/bottle full of warm milk everynight after his meal 
soon he'll be talking , singing those cute songs 4u and asking you many questions ,some will be embarassing he he he like that he'll grow .one day he will  suprise u when he kiss u and say bye..mummy

mine is 3yrs 7months now telling me that his father is my boyfriend .....LOL,
everytime when he see that advert for sprite zero he says ,,,SISSSS panties

Cnglemother
06 Mar 2008 00:29

Kfab and TVSA mommies a tip on the nappy issue, i am sure you have heard of stories where at daycare they steal nappies or not change the child for the whole flippin day. I decided to sort of like mark the the nappy he puts in the morning with a dot in a hidden part of the nappy or the glue strips, so I can see that at least he’s been changed even if its once, or you can just make a small cut (more like it’s a factory fault) with scissors and upon pick up you look for that. I mean you bring 5 nappies a day and he goes home wet and no nappies in the bag WTF?

Suzzy82 i cant wait for when he starts talking and asking all those embarassing questions.

mseu
06 Mar 2008 00:33

Suzzy 82, That's so sweet man. 

Toxic
06 Mar 2008 00:39

yho Tox your baby's case sounds severe! Is she one of those that are sickly vele/

Not at all! Before she started creche she only had teething to deal with, nothing else....

Cnglemother
06 Mar 2008 00:53

Chest infections like bronchopneumonia are very prevalent at day cares and in winter they get worse, my 17 month old has been on antibiotics at least 4 times as young as he is. How old is yr little one Toxy? 

My little is addicted to the bottle and wont take sippy cups especially the one’s with straws, he bangs it on the floor crying and I end up felling sorry for him and transferring the milk to the bottle, am worried about his teeth, how can I get him to use a sippy cup?

Nanana
06 Mar 2008 00:55

Dont worry about it,what you are experiencing is very common among mothers because what happens is you have have given birth to this beautiful bundle and you just wanna be there for him through and through.Your child will eventually develop his/her independence but cant if you smother him with affection (no too much and not too little either.You know there are a lot of mothers out there who are even guilty to go out for a dinner date or something because they dont wanna leave their kids behind.Eventually they just get deppressed from giving and giving and you hear people say " Eish I met u Nanana with her son,eish joe she looks so stressed out,I wonder yazi,ilizwe limgqibile.Mothers need to separate themselves from that guilty and enjoy their lives so they can reflect correctly to their kids.

Toxic
06 Mar 2008 01:32

How old is yr little one Toxy? 

She's 2 and her "wisdom' teeth haven't come out yet. She was a gastro-ish and diarrhoea that went on for days and had to be admitted. Don't know what they were giving her at creche but her tummy wasn't too keen on the food she was eating and i suppose there was a huge dose of germs as well...

awelani
06 Mar 2008 01:46

Moming moms & Dads,

Kele, I Know what u r going thru, I also used to col my boy's crech evry three hrs to c how was coping, but after some weeks i started to relax coz whenever we dropped him off there, u could C excitement in his eyes and he wuld start screaming for other kids and wave bye bye to me and that showed me dat he is happy there.  My only concern is the langauge, @ home we speak to him in tshivenda, @ Creche, they use english, he's got a pedi speaking frend, so he's hears a lot of different langauges in a day and i fear that maybe a lil confusing 2 him.  

I also wana stop giving his formula (he only takes it @ nite), I have tried giving him juice or tea inreplacement of milk but he wuld cry non stop until he gets his milk, so some1 who knows how I can stop him, please assist.

Mphoyame
06 Mar 2008 01:54

@Awelani don't worry about the language, children can learn up to 12 languages and not get confused.

Cnglemother
06 Mar 2008 02:03

Eish awelani and the formula is so expensive sisi, its ok if its the night feed only if he's under 3. My friend's baby is almost 3 and  he still takes his formula at night. My problem is that 2Am feed, he has dropped the 10 oclock one but ngo 2 he still wakes up nomakanjani. 

Toxy stop giving milk completely when she is gastro-ish as lactose worsens gastro. But ensure she has a lot of fluid intake, you can make miel-miel porridge and mix it water to give it a watery texture and give her with a sippy cup, but milk should be a definite no-no. If its teething gastro it has to run its course unfortunately.

Khuselwa
06 Mar 2008 02:35

Soya milk is good for gastro cases but the taste...not so nice. Hayi the creche thing scared me to death. My daughter only went to creche because her nanny didn't come back from the holidays (maybe i didn't pay her enough). She started having acute diarrhea and vomiting (at one time she threw up a fly!!!) but the doctor said creche was good for building up her immune system...Hang in there, he'll be ohkay

poshspice
06 Mar 2008 02:49

@Khuselwa 'She started having acute diarrhea and vomiting (at one time she threw up a fly!!!) 


Yoh Yoh Yoh....a FLY....speechless

Cnglemother
06 Mar 2008 02:55

khuselwa ayimbi isoya ngeke, eish inanny kodwa nazo sometimes, mine was good but she stole impahla zomtana big time. wahlanza impukane? i think wayitya engayazi, you know kids mos! mine pooped on the floor and he started fiddling with his doo-doo and putting it his face & mouth, he was doo-doofied all over.

myname
06 Mar 2008 03:17

whow singlemum u r really a cinglemum ntombazana. Alright im a mother too bt honestly i cant say i have an experience for being a mother. My own mother took my baby while he was only 5 days (i have to go 2 school) so u can imagine. I make sure i call them everyday or my mum would call mi & even now i dont feel okey if i didnt hear his voice & its worse he is talking okey...... Its so amazing when im looking at him playing, laughing & chatting with his freinds & we like playing soccer 2gether when im home. Mine started last year at crech & i was doing the same guys calling & calling but now He is the one whose telling mi "No im not going 2 school 2day bcoz its a weekend". Bt in the beggining i was scared he wont recognize me bt thanks 2 his freinds. At home if u get a baby without a marriage ur baby is not allowed 2 call u Mama so he is calling my own mother Mama & mna Myname LOL. Bt if u asked him who's ur mother? he wil tel u, "Mna umama was is My mother (which is my own mother) but my real mother is Myname".......... Eish sorry Kele............ Back 2 the topic........So standwa sam give him time & stop calling bcoz it wil luk like u dont trust them. As time goes by, he is the one whose going 2 tel u 2 go 2 school on weekends & i promise u he is going 2 b alright en dont force him with food he doesnt like, he has a reason why....................

suzzy82
06 Mar 2008 03:20

@Awelami how old is she/he ?u can stop giving him formula and try nido if he/she 's up to a year or more than that ,give the milk to her /him two times a day in the morning with cereals and at  night a glass  after the meal ,don't stop if he/she 's not 5yrs


tshepiso
06 Mar 2008 03:44

She started having acute diarrhea and vomiting (at one time she threw up a fly!!!) hihi hi i hi huwiiiii ke a itse maaka maar mo? (shaking my head)

libra
06 Mar 2008 05:38

not a mother yet (have been trying with no luck) anyway i babysitted my niece up until 2 and half years when she went to creche-she was geeting bored at home.she could not understand why she was left at the creche but she enjoyed the company with other kids at creche and that is what made her stay.she would only cry when her father picked her up from creche.she was still on the bottle but refused to have it at creche.

i was sad when they took her to creche cos i have a strong bond with her and i worried if she will cope.

my nephew started speaking at 1 so when she went to creche they put her with kids up to two years who most of them were not speaking and she will come home saying its boring cos those kids can speak, she refused to stay in that class and prefered to stay in the principal''s office because she could 'have a constructive conversation"with someone.

the creche had to create a 2+ class where they sing and colour in just to accomadate her.

she is now 5 and her first tooth came out two days back-is it not early?

what a blessing these littles ones are, now i have to send an e mail to God reminding him of the order i made seven months ago about my baby-i am still waiting!!!!

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