SOUTH AFRICA'S TV WEBSITE
SIGN IN SEARCH MENU
SOUTH AFRICA'S TV WEBSITE


Babymama Drama

Written by Cnglemother from the blog Babymama drama on 07 Apr 2008
Favourite this post


Its hard enough dating a man with children by another woman, having to deal with the mother of those children is another mountain to climb. I would like us to us to share some of the horrible/nice experiences with dramatic babymamas. As babymamas we are often viewed as trouble makers, do we really do this intentionally or we are just misunderstood. As a babymama how do you feel when your child has to spend a weekend over by the father's crib, do worry that the wife/girlfriend will poison your child or will be abusive and negligent towards the child.

Dealing with a sick child is no easy task and being all on your own makes the situation even worse and to think that the mafacka is probably sleeping peacefully or getting shag while at it. On the other side you are buys mixing every muti-wenyoni or speit that your mother is instructing to mix over the phone to remedy the situation. With no improvement to the child's health status do you now start calling him and demanding that he drives to your flat at 12 midnight to attend to the child. Babymama have you ever used your child a weapon to get what you want out the arrangement, ever used papgeld to for your own necessities.

To women who bitch and mourn about babymamas don’t forget that the man the babymama is suppose to be doing the baby night shift with is laying next you whispering sweet nothings to your ear and while all baby mama are screams of a child who's not responding to any calming down drug in the market and its 2 in the morning. So how do you expect her to be grumpy and mean, not justifiable but please understand where all this coming from. The sight of happy couples at the doctor’s room can turn a good woman into a jealousy bitch. The responsibility of having to sign every form concerning the child alone and having to cross out the father field on the form can make one wish all forms were designed by single mother. The unnecessary questions about the father’s whereabouts from nosey receptionists at doctor’s rooms can make one develop a nasty attitude towards receptionists. Did I mention the trip to home affairs offices to sort out the child’s personal documents is mammoth task should the child be fatherless, thank God for NETCARE hospitals who have made it their responsibility to take of the birth certificate fiasco. Trust me fellow bloggers single parenthood is not as glamorous as we sometimes make it out to be. This no excuse for all the drama that babymamas put up but this is just to give you an idea of a babymama’s everyday struggles.


Babydaddies what is worst stunt that your babymama has pulled on you?
Guilt trips? Ultimatums? Broke your car windows? Showed up at work unannounced and living the baby at reception, People we somehow have heard of these babymama stories so let’s share.



461 Comments

Cnglemother
07 Apr 2008 01:34

Bloggers i decided to break my virginity this morning, my first blog - terrified i must admit. Toxy the photos aint happening gal, have posted it anyways and thanks for all your help.

monchooza
07 Apr 2008 01:51

Lets get blogging.....

Nonny
07 Apr 2008 01:53

Halala for braaking ur virginity........interesting topic mngani.

Now I know baby mama's and they like using their babies as waepons of distructions, and u will get them baby mama's calling ur boo at 12 midnight, just becoz she knows her baby daddy is with u and she will be like: "We baba ka Sli, I just want u to know that I did not make this baby alone and she is very sick and she needs to be taken to the hosipital right now so plz come over manje"...........*the mean, the baby has a minor flu*, now Cnglemom, why do u guys overeact kanjalo jsut to get attention?????

Cnglemother
07 Apr 2008 01:53

manje nathula yini? niyang'ziba? (what's up with the silence treatment)

Ngqesta
07 Apr 2008 01:53

cnglema.....you know ndiyakuthanda ukuthetha nhe......but this one is a sore point for me......am just looking forward to hearing what the other bloggers have to say.

Nonny
07 Apr 2008 01:54

I meant halala for breaking ur virginity..........

Toxic
07 Apr 2008 01:54

Very interesting Cnglemom......

All i know is that no woman will ever be good enough to look after my baby, whether it's her paternal grandparents or the nu woman in her father's life! i don't think i have it in me to be bitchy abt it but i cannot see myself allowing it to happen.

Dabs
07 Apr 2008 01:54

I understand why baby mammas do that. I have a baby and I am lucky enough that the father is there. I would call him to come se his baby in the wee hours of the morning, I'm not getting any sleep why should he. When we were making this baby he was fine with having no sleep, so it should still be fine now. And women should deal with the fact that this guy has a responsibility. So women make sure that you can handle that or you are fighting a losing battle.

Nonny
07 Apr 2008 01:56

"manje nathula yini? niyang'ziba? (what's up with the silence treatment)".........@ Cnglemom. lalelala, plz don't throw a Baby Denice *hey where u @ D??* tantrum on us, ngoba sizokuziba okwangempela, it's a Monday for peits sake...........LOL

Dabs
07 Apr 2008 02:01

Now I know baby mama's and they like using their babies as waepons of distructions, and u will get them baby mama's calling ur boo at 12 midnight, just becoz she knows her baby daddy is with u and she will be like: "We baba ka Sli, I just want u to know that I did not make this baby alone and she is very sick and she needs to be taken to the hosipital right now so plz come over manje"...........*the mean, the baby has a minor flu*, now Cnglemom, why do u guys overeact kanjalo jsut to get attention?????

@ Nonny,
do you know that a child never just has a minor flu, he/she will vommit the whole night, cry because they cannot breathe. As a mother it hurts to see your child suffer like that, you don't sleep and the next day she has to go work. No, the father has to be there to see the child vommit and wipe the child's vommit. Maybe if the child is 6 yrs old then it would be ridiculous for me to call him for a minor flu. At leats they can handle a flu better at that age.

Nonny
07 Apr 2008 02:01

"So women make sure that you can handle that or you are fighting a losing battle."
@ Dabs, u se that's exactly the mentality I can't seem to understand, SOME baby mama's think just becoz nakhipha ikhanda kwi ghe yenu, all of a sudden u are the (isqalo nesiphetho) Alfa & Omega of the baby daddy's life and ur'll want the attention to always be on the baby and not realise that life has to go on and ofcourse the child will still get the love and attention the deserve!!!!!

Cnglemother
07 Apr 2008 02:04

@Nonny the mean, the baby has a minor flu*, now Cnglemom, why do u guys overeact kanjalo jsut to get attention????? at times its just to spite the current woman and to see how high he would jump for his own flesh and bloody and those midnight calls are most of the time genuine i must mention.  So guys let him attend to those calls if even it means cancelling an important holiday vacation to the Maldives.  

Ngqesta pls bring it on gal we wanna hear.

Nonny
07 Apr 2008 02:07

"@ Nonny, do you know that a child never just has a minor flu, he/she will vommit the whole night, cry because they cannot breathe. As a mother it hurts to see your child suffer like that, you don't sleep and the next day she has to go work."

@ Dabs, I understand the scenario when the child is eriously ill then surely daddy needs to be there, but somehow still fail to understand, when a baby mama calls the daddy and performs as if her child is gonna die any moment now *at midnight or early morning* and when daddy gets there the child is ok, and that to me screams: "I want attention and I am using our baby to get it!!!!!!!!!"

mabhebheza
07 Apr 2008 02:07

*waving* Molweni bahlali..
Well done cnglemother..still reading though...
Baby mama drama ..mmm interesting,,,,,,!!!

Dabs
07 Apr 2008 02:09

The child is his blood and if you can't handle him taking care of his baby, waking up in the middle of the night to go see his baby and all you do is complain, trust me your relationship won't last long.  The thing is you go into the relationship and you know the bagges that these people carry so deal with ti or you gon have an early stroke. Just don't complain things will fall into place.

Zee Babes!
07 Apr 2008 02:11

C`nglemom you finally gave in - your article is nice!

Bloggers please share your experiences seeing dat um a virgin or should i say foreign with baby drama.

Ngqesta
07 Apr 2008 02:14

.......eish cngle ma ........let me shy away girl. Am reading on though!

LM
07 Apr 2008 02:16

Congrats on ur virginity loss Cnglma. Unfortunately I can't contribute to your article b'cause I've never experienced all that  babymama drama and don't have a kid yet. I will just read and LMAO at y'all stories!

Dabs
07 Apr 2008 02:16

Wel, Nonny that is just being spiteful, getting ther and the baby is okay. but it will back to you as a person, don't spite people because someday it will come back to you. Let me tell you something about babies, they will look very sick one moment and be fine the next. Even my mom used to call me to come back from work because my baby is ill and I can take him to the doctor, when I get there my baby is as fit as a fiddle. So you will never know whether the woman is telling the truth or not, but if she ain't it will come back to her. You as the other woman, just smile and wave. pretend you are okay, but if you show her that she really gets to you she will continue. Just complain and be angry inside your heart but smile to your partner and give him the support he needs. but if you fight him, you will have a bitter life.

Miss K
07 Apr 2008 02:16

I've had my share of baby mama drama and neva again!!  While i was with my ex the babby mama dropped off her baby(2 yr old) on Sat morning and was supposed to fetch her later that night. By 7pm we knew she was not coming back. Let me first expalin that i don't have a baby, i couldn't stand the smell of baby poo, never even changed my sister's baby nappies. But that night i was changing poo left, right and centre. The baby had diarrhea! My ex was useless, pacing around like a sick puppy. We ran out of nappies, had to go around looking for nappies at 2am. My ex slept peacefully after that while i was trying to calm the baby and even playing with her, early hrs of the morning coz she just wouldnt sleep!! We only saw the baby mama on Monday!

Cnglemother
07 Apr 2008 02:17

I have heard some baby mamas even go to the extremes of telling the child not to eat anything from sis' Zanele, "jonga ke boy ungakuthathi ukutya azokupha kona la sisi uhlala notatakho uvele uthi ufuna ukwenzelwa ngutatakho" meaning dont eat your food prepared by the girlfriend ask your father to prepare you food.

Ngqesta
07 Apr 2008 02:23

...........@Dabs.....that's exactly the same mentality that makes me think that BMs go out of their way to try and normalise an abnormal situation. When you decide (and yes BMs do decide otherwise we all would be BMs) to have a child out of wedlock, you need to understand the consequences that come with the territory, and that the father WILL NOT always be there. I don't care how may times you call at night, if  I am not comfortable with him goingout to attend to the flu in the middle of the night and that you should take the child for Medical attention because you have the Medical Aid and the car, then no matter  how loud you scream, he WILL not be coming out, more so if I know that he is reasonably playing his role in the child's life. However, if you call US from the hospital because the child is in a coma, then by all me WE are going to come out no matter what the time is to see to the child.

suzzy82
07 Apr 2008 02:23

As a babymama how do you feel when your child has to spend a weekend over by the father's crib, do worry that the wife/girlfriend will poison your child or will be abusive and negligent towards the child. 
My friends baby is 14 yrs old and everyweek end he goes to his father and his father is staying with another woman 
one week -end he told us that the woman was cooking and she took something out of her bra and pour it in the food and throw the paper away ,the boy took that paper and keep in his book to show her mom,my friend told me that it was a korobela 
my friend went there to ask her how can she give it to her baby why can't she give it to the guy only
So baby mamas be careful don't send ur baby there for week-ends the father must come over and be with his child

Miss K
07 Apr 2008 02:23

Oh and i know all about the calls at 3am saying the baby is missing him!! My ex loves his baby coz its his first and he would jump everytime that woman called. Dabs how do u explain some1 calling at 3am for nappies, didnt she see early ngabo 7 maybe that the nappies won't last through out the nite???

Oh and she wrote me this long email on how to take care of her baby when baby  gal came to stay with us for a week when she was going away with work. How to make the bottle, how to change nappy, how frequent, what games to play with the child, how to bathe her, etc, a whole 2 page instructions manual! None the less i treated her baby like an angel becoz i loved my man and wouldn't hurt the baby even if her mom was a .....

Cnglemother
07 Apr 2008 02:24

Miss K that woman has guts to live her child with another woman for the whole weekend? In my case (while the cowboy was still around- before he vanished into thin air) i used to phone constantly checking up on the baby and could not handle that this woman i dont even know will be taking care of my child. Toxi i share your sentiments.

Nonny &mabhebheza no vernac pls this is my blog LOL! ngifuna islungu nje qha.

Nonny
07 Apr 2008 02:24

"You as the other woman, just smile and wave. pretend you are okay, but if you show her that she really gets to you she will continue. Just complain and be angry inside your heart but smile to your partner and give him the support he needs. but if you fight him, you will have a bitter life."
Thanks Dabs, that's the best advice I've heard about hown to handle o-attention seeking baby mama's - smile and wave and then I will phosa a charo fake smile while I'm at it...........LOL

spice
07 Apr 2008 02:25

where thers a baby theres drama whether you still with the idiot or not, why should I be the only one  experiencing it ,miss thang should just step aside and let brother man handle  his business if she knows whats good for her ,Nna i have  brotherman    eating out of my hands ,when it comes to his son everything stops and him first so , Me  i take advantage and use that opportunity to manipulate him ,batho ba modimo and didnt carry my baby for 9 FU***** months  for nothing it is my priveldge to use my baby to get his attention i earned it bathong

Dabs
07 Apr 2008 02:28

Miss K I would never, ever drop off my baby ith some woman. HELL NO!!!!!! To tell the truth I would just let the father go, and if he wants to see his baby he knows where to find me. I hate forcing people to do things, he has a consience (sp)  and one day it will catch up with him.

Nonny
07 Apr 2008 02:28

"Nonny &mabhebheza no vernac pls this is my blog LOL! ngifuna islungu nje qha."..........@ Cnglemom Oh hell no, gal u can't even bring urself to saying one line in 100% English and yet u expect us to reply ngo George waya waya, oh well hambofa coz I aint until u learn how to practice what u preach!!!!..................LOL

Ngqesta
07 Apr 2008 02:30

@ spice............Me i take advantage and use that opportunity to manipulate him ,batho ba modimo and didnt carry my baby for 9 FU***** months for nothing it is my priveldge to use my baby to get his attention i earned it bathong 

I commend you for your honesty!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cnglemother
07 Apr 2008 02:33

@miss k Oh and i know all about the calls at 3am saying the baby is missing him!! My ex loves his baby coz its his first and he would jump everytime that woman called. Dabs how do u explain some1 calling at 3am for nappies, didnt she see early ngabo 7 maybe that the nappies won't last through out the nite???

Oh and she wrote me this long email on how to take care of her baby when baby gal came to stay with us for a week when she was going away with work. How to make the bottle, how to change nappy, how frequent, what games to play with the child, how to bathe her, etc, a whole 2 page instructions manual! None the less i treated her baby like an angel becoz i loved my man and wouldn't hurt the baby even if her mom was a .....
that woman sounds just like Cnglemom i used to write everything down, the number of clothing items and the brand. I would pack all the expensive one's from baby boutiques just to show-off so that the other chick woulds see ukuthi lo mama uyababa. About the nappies at 3, trust me she was lying as a single mother you buy everything in bulk to avoid situations like that its very rare to run out of nappies or baby food completely and have no backup atall.

Zee Babes!
07 Apr 2008 02:34

@Ms K - askies

@Cnglemom - "jonga ke boy ungakuthathi ukutya azokupha kona la sisi uhlala notatakho uvele uthi ufuna ukwenzelwa ngutatakho" 

I know that maybe um saying this cos i`v neva been in dat situation but i think its wrong to spoonfeed the child with ukungcola...like telling them not to eat the food by uSis Zanele - cos dat same sis Zanele might love the child unconditionally if the kid and the man she shaggs share the same blood and sometimes even the babymamas are just not cracking it - dunno maybe its the rejection or sumting angazi....bavele bazihlanyise nje abanye.

Nonny
07 Apr 2008 02:35

"Me i take advantage and use that opportunity to manipulate him ,batho ba modimo and didnt carry my baby for 9 FU***** months for nothing it is my priveldge to use my baby to get his attention i earned it bathong"

LMAO @ Spice, now u see that's why if I am ever in a baby mama drama kinda relationship........woman I give u and ur baby hell, ever noticed how nice it is to pinch a one year old coz they don't have the power to talk and tell anyone..........LOL.......just kidding I don't abuse kids........but I do give the mama hell.........coz as spicy said u guys use the baby and I will inturn use baby daddy's love for me as well..........LOL

suzzy82
07 Apr 2008 02:38

Mna i like the drama with the baby mama's cause they are putting these our useless man  where they have to be 
and i use to feel alot for single mothers out there ,its not easy to be a mom 
how much more to those that r with out the baby's father next to them 
and if i was one of them only God know wt i was going to do

Nonny
07 Apr 2008 02:40

"bavele bazihlanyise nje abanye."
I agree with u Zee Babes, for OTHER mothers, I think it has to do with the fact that bazala yet still iman yabashiya, so all they have now is the child to use so bavele bazihlanyise with all the drama they create around thechild, mina I tell you straight if u a are a baby mama that: " Lalelala wemfazi, uwena owakhetha ukumitha, and akusiyo inkinga yami ukuthi indoda yakushiya regardless of ur MOTHER OF MY BABY status u have, so chill and get another mission to accomplish, ngoba ubaba wengane yakho, is isithandwa sami as well as my mission"

Miss K
07 Apr 2008 02:41

Hay Spice sisi the attitude u have is exactly whats givin babymamas a bad name. Yes my man's baby come first but u using the baby just to get his attention is so childish. I will support my man to be there and be an active father to his child and not provide money only. Doing funny tricks and thinking ure ruining his new relationship will not make him come back to you. Please go and read Ngqesta's reply!!

Cnglemother
07 Apr 2008 02:41

Amen spice but i have too much pride, i always want him to see ukuthi I can manage. I must admit the help came in very handy and I never showed him any appreaciation for all his attempts to take care of things. I always used to complain about non-branded things he used to buy, complain about him buying Nestum instead of Cerelac. 

Ngqesta
geez you are tough cookie, flu and teething everyday problems dont move u one bit, uthi ulinde icomma sthandwa sam.

Segololo
07 Apr 2008 02:41

Ok, peeps... I dated a dude with 6 children with 6 different women... When you talk drama, you have to have been thru this relationship to know! To think of it, most of the guys I dated had 2 or more children!! Ha ha ah! Eish! Thank Gaad when I spec'd the man of my dreams I was clear to the universe/God that I want a man with no mama drama - whether his own children or his mother! And when King K came into my life he hadno children and a lovely mother who doesn't meddle! Okay, I know I'm off topic.. I will be back later with my experiences and how little Oprah feels about this topic... Right now, I have a deadline and i still need this job...

teev
07 Apr 2008 02:41

hey hey mabloggers,mholweni. C'mom u'v came wit d touchin 1. There are so many reasons why babymamas react the way they do. I am one. My ex is vat en sitting wit anotha women somewher in JHB. He called me once in Feb asking if he can spend d weekend wit d baby in Jozi? *NB, he was never ther on my baby's 1st brithday, was never ther when she was sick for 3 weeks @ Mediclinic, Has never spent a single nite wit her (bonding) now does he deserve to spend 3 ful days wit her, NO. Obviously he asked all these stupid questions whether I ws afraid dat d baby wil be poisoned. dat wsn't d case-he's not fit enough 2 b a father
Personally I'll never use my baby to get into him, we r history dat's it and hv made peace wit it.

Toxic
07 Apr 2008 02:42

About the nappies at 3, trust me she was lying as a single mother you buy everything in bulk to avoid situations like that its very rare to run out of nappies or baby food completely and have no backup atall.

Hey cnglemom, there was this long holiday and my baby chose that time to have diarrhoe-excessive one ..imagine changing one nappy after the next. Towards month end, you're using the very last lot cause u know it's gon last till the afternoon of monday or whatever. We also drive around different garages looking for nappies.

Miss K
07 Apr 2008 02:45

Lalelala wemfazi, uwena owakhetha ukumitha, and akusiyo inkinga yami ukuthi indoda yakushiya regardless of ur MOTHER OF MY BABY status u have, so chill and get another mission to accomplish, ngoba ubaba wengane yakho, is isithandwa sami as well as my mission".......Amen Nonny...Im usually not bitchy and I co-operate with the baby mama but if i see that she's just using the baby to make my life hell then this is the attitude u will get from me!

Dabs
07 Apr 2008 02:48

Nqesta, he has to deal with those consequences with me aswell. That's why men get away with this because it is women like you who say that it is my fault that I have this baby. He knew aswell that we were not using a condom and there is a possiblity that I might get pregnant and the consequences of that is, he is stuck with me for the rest of his life. whether it is my voice or seeing me I will be there till he dies or the child dies. You haven't slept with a child that has a minor flu have you. That child suffers and vommits everywhere, I will make sure that he is there. And who says that when you a have a baby in marraige it's any different. He could leave you the next day and then what. And you can't take a baby to hospital because of a flu, the baby has to suffer for the flu to go away there is nothing else they can do. So come so we can have a sleepless night together.

@ Miss Kay, That one is just crazy. Your man should have just slept because as a mother you don't make that mistake. How can you do that to your baby. She is also crazy for leaving you with her baby the whole weekend. as mothers I must say that we are picky with the way our babies should be taken care of so I understand why she sent you that e-mail. At least she sent it to you than your man. You can be happy that she can trust you and that adds bonus points to your man. But she should never leave the baby overnight. 

@spice you are making me laugh.

Miss K
07 Apr 2008 02:50

Let me state this for the record I support the drama if the baby daddy is a no good piece of shyt who does nothing for his child. Then its ok for the babymama to throw some tentrums so that he can get the guy's attention. It is the baby daddy's duty to take care or his child, that I support 100%. But if ure using the baby to spite me then unyile kum sana. Phuma silwe!!

Cnglemother
07 Apr 2008 02:55

Toxy i know the diarrhea problem my point is as a mother you always have plan B, by 6-7 latish you can see the nappies are going down and something has to be done then, calling at 3AM is a bit too much. See you had plan B right there going around all the garages, calling a man who's in soweto and you are in Hillbrow to bring nappies.

Ngqesta
07 Apr 2008 02:56

@Dabs...........if you read correctly I said, more so if he is reasonably playing his role in his child life, to me that is dealing with the consequences.....and I do acknowledge that he did have sex with the BM without taking the necessary pre-cautions, however as MY man who is no longer with the mother of his baby, that's about the best that he will do. Fact is, BMs need to stop mornalising an abnormal situation, when yu are singlemom you need to understand that it will never be the same as when the child has a flu with your husband next to you period.

You're quite right I have NEVER slept with a child who has a minor flu on my own because I decided it was not the right time for me to put myself through that. If I were to DECIDE to do so, I would most certainly not call the father in the middle of the night, more so if he is not my child's doctor,or phone him at 3 becoz the baby is missing him.
I am not saying you are wrong in feeling the way that you do, however, in my experience with BMs, this is the opinion that i strongly hold.
Mandihle zinkosi!

Toxic
07 Apr 2008 02:57

*drove around

Simmone
07 Apr 2008 03:00

@ Cnglemama…great article and very true. Unfortunately I cannot remain objective about babymamaz.

I once dated a guy who had a 6yr old child, every time I went to spend the weekend at the guys’ place, before I even put my bags down his baby mama would call requesting he must come a pick him up for the weekend. She would send him along with a Manual on how to look after him, come Monday morning she would go to his work and complain how her child came back with flu and how his child was neglected and malnourished. But what bugged me she always sent him to his place when I was there and when the guy wanted him for the weekend she would refuse and tell him that he must come to her place to spend time with him.

Madamzee
07 Apr 2008 03:02

Hey Mamela, i know all about baby mama drama.I really feel for baby mama's, and i do believe a man should take care of his child, whether 10 or 30. This is what happend ne. My boo was living with his child as the baby mama asked him to. (the child is now 8) we were okay for a year and i played mommy, Good mommy that is! we absolutely adored each other, still do.  when we took the child to visit biological mommy, I made sure that the child's hair is done and she had good clothes on, the child started talking about me (it was,me, my boo adn the mommy's boyfriend) telling the real mommy that she has a new mommy and the new mommy dresses her well, her hair is always in a good condition, i always dress up nicely and she wants to look like me one day when she starts working, i think that is where the problem started. She took my boo aside and asked him why does he let me take care of his child, what will happen if he dumpes me, the child will end up knowing a lot of mommies, (point taken) then my boo told him that the child is coping very well with me hence he lets me be the mommy in her absence, and he is infact planning to marry me. the realy baby mama told my boo that the child is not coping and he will see that when the child comes back. she took the child home for the holidays. on the 30th she called and said the child is crying for her daddy, we obviously had plans, but we cancelled and went to fetch the child. when we got home, the child cried saying she is missing the real mama,and she wants all of us to live with her. the daddy told her it was not possible the least he can do was to take her to the mama after every 2weeks, she threw the most unbelievable tentrum and got hurt, and unconcious, we took her to the hospital. He called the realy mommy to tell her, & guess what she said? she told him dat 4 the child 2 be okay, they need to live together until the child is old enough otherwise the child will not be ok. the child is still reacting the same way till today. she still has the nerve to tell me that i must use my best weapon if i want to keep my boo! because she has the best weapon. she also said "alufakwa li buya no daka the man is hers" (sorry 4 my zulu). i told him to do what is best for his child. it hurts A WHOLE LOT , but if it were my child i would put her first.

so tell me? what's a girl to do? How can you do someone do such a thing to her own child? i am wondering to this day what she did to the child? i am so scared of u baby mama's. the girl is such a disgrace to the women race, how can you subject yourself to live in a loveless relationship just because you want to spite your boo's. Athje!!!! I also blame girls, when we got pregnant we knew exactly what we are getting ourself into. when the seeds are spilled inside of u, what on earth do you think will happen? Nothing? please lets be realistic and just be happy that our ex-partners are giving our children love. that should be enough!

Madamzee
07 Apr 2008 03:02

Hey Mamela, i know all about baby mama drama.I really feel for baby mama's, and i do believe a man should take care of his child, whether 10 or 30. This is what happend ne. My boo was living with his child as the baby mama asked him to. (the child is now 8) we were okay for a year and i played mommy, Good mommy that is! we absolutely adored each other, still do.  when we took the child to visit biological mommy, I made sure that the child's hair is done and she had good clothes on, the child started talking about me (it was,me, my boo adn the mommy's boyfriend) telling the real mommy that she has a new mommy and the new mommy dresses her well, her hair is always in a good condition, i always dress up nicely and she wants to look like me one day when she starts working, i think that is where the problem started. She took my boo aside and asked him why does he let me take care of his child, what will happen if he dumpes me, the child will end up knowing a lot of mommies, (point taken) then my boo told him that the child is coping very well with me hence he lets me be the mommy in her absence, and he is infact planning to marry me. the realy baby mama told my boo that the child is not coping and he will see that when the child comes back. she took the child home for the holidays. on the 30th she called and said the child is crying for her daddy, we obviously had plans, but we cancelled and went to fetch the child. when we got home, the child cried saying she is missing the real mama,and she wants all of us to live with her. the daddy told her it was not possible the least he can do was to take her to the mama after every 2weeks, she threw the most unbelievable tentrum and got hurt, and unconcious, we took her to the hospital. He called the realy mommy to tell her, & guess what she said? she told him dat 4 the child 2 be okay, they need to live together until the child is old enough otherwise the child will not be ok. the child is still reacting the same way till today. she still has the nerve to tell me that i must use my best weapon if i want to keep my boo! because she has the best weapon. she also said "alufakwa li buya no daka the man is hers" (sorry 4 my zulu). i told him to do what is best for his child. it hurts A WHOLE LOT , but if it were my child i would put her first.

so tell me? what's a girl to do? How can you do someone do such a thing to her own child? i am wondering to this day what she did to the child? i am so scared of u baby mama's. the girl is such a disgrace to the women race, how can you subject yourself to live in a loveless relationship just because you want to spite your boo's. Athje!!!! I also blame girls, when we got pregnant we knew exactly what we are getting ourself into. when the seeds are spilled inside of u, what on earth do you think will happen? Nothing? please lets be realistic and just be happy that our ex-partners are giving our children love. that should be enough! sorry

Madamzee
07 Apr 2008 03:02

Hey Mamela, i know all about baby mama drama.I really feel for baby mama's, and i do believe a man should take care of his child, whether 10 or 30. This is what happend ne. My boo was living with his child as the baby mama asked him to. (the child is now 8) we were okay for a year and i played mommy, Good mommy that is! we absolutely adored each other, still do.  when we took the child to visit biological mommy, I made sure that the child's hair is done and she had good clothes on, the child started talking about me (it was,me, my boo adn the mommy's boyfriend) telling the real mommy that she has a new mommy and the new mommy dresses her well, her hair is always in a good condition, i always dress up nicely and she wants to look like me one day when she starts working, i think that is where the problem started. She took my boo aside and asked him why does he let me take care of his child, what will happen if he dumpes me, the child will end up knowing a lot of mommies, (point taken) then my boo told him that the child is coping very well with me hence he lets me be the mommy in her absence, and he is infact planning to marry me. the realy baby mama told my boo that the child is not coping and he will see that when the child comes back. she took the child home for the holidays. on the 30th she called and said the child is crying for her daddy, we obviously had plans, but we cancelled and went to fetch the child. when we got home, the child cried saying she is missing the real mama,and she wants all of us to live with her. the daddy told her it was not possible the least he can do was to take her to the mama after every 2weeks, she threw the most unbelievable tentrum and got hurt, and unconcious, we took her to the hospital. He called the realy mommy to tell her, & guess what she said? she told him dat 4 the child 2 be okay, they need to live together until the child is old enough otherwise the child will not be ok. the child is still reacting the same way till today. she still has the nerve to tell me that i must use my best weapon if i want to keep my boo! because she has the best weapon. she also said "alufakwa li buya no daka the man is hers" (sorry 4 my zulu). i told him to do what is best for his child. it hurts A WHOLE LOT , but if it were my child i would put her first.

so tell me? what's a girl to do? How can you do someone do such a thing to her own child? i am wondering to this day what she did to the child? i am so scared of u baby mama's. the girl is such a disgrace to the women race, how can you subject yourself to live in a loveless relationship just because you want to spite your boo's. Athje!!!! I also blame girls, when we got pregnant we knew exactly what we are getting ourself into. when the seeds are spilled inside of u, what on earth do you think will happen? Nothing? please lets be realistic and just be happy that our ex-partners are giving our children love. that should be enough! sorry for

Madamzee
07 Apr 2008 03:02

Hey Mamela, i know all about baby mama drama.I really feel for baby mama's, and i do believe a man should take care of his child, whether 10 or 30. This is what happend ne. My boo was living with his child as the baby mama asked him to. (the child is now 8) we were okay for a year and i played mommy, Good mommy that is! we absolutely adored each other, still do.  when we took the child to visit biological mommy, I made sure that the child's hair is done and she had good clothes on, the child started talking about me (it was,me, my boo adn the mommy's boyfriend) telling the real mommy that she has a new mommy and the new mommy dresses her well, her hair is always in a good condition, i always dress up nicely and she wants to look like me one day when she starts working, i think that is where the problem started. She took my boo aside and asked him why does he let me take care of his child, what will happen if he dumpes me, the child will end up knowing a lot of mommies, (point taken) then my boo told him that the child is coping very well with me hence he lets me be the mommy in her absence, and he is infact planning to marry me. the realy baby mama told my boo that the child is not coping and he will see that when the child comes back. she took the child home for the holidays. on the 30th she called and said the child is crying for her daddy, we obviously had plans, but we cancelled and went to fetch the child. when we got home, the child cried saying she is missing the real mama,and she wants all of us to live with her. the daddy told her it was not possible the least he can do was to take her to the mama after every 2weeks, she threw the most unbelievable tentrum and got hurt, and unconcious, we took her to the hospital. He called the realy mommy to tell her, & guess what she said? she told him dat 4 the child 2 be okay, they need to live together until the child is old enough otherwise the child will not be ok. the child is still reacting the same way till today. she still has the nerve to tell me that i must use my best weapon if i want to keep my boo! because she has the best weapon. she also said "alufakwa li buya no daka the man is hers" (sorry 4 my zulu). i told him to do what is best for his child. it hurts A WHOLE LOT , but if it were my child i would put her first.

so tell me? what's a girl to do? How can you do someone do such a thing to her own child? i am wondering to this day what she did to the child? i am so scared of u baby mama's. the girl is such a disgrace to the women race, how can you subject yourself to live in a loveless relationship just because you want to spite your boo's. Athje!!!! I also blame girls, when we got pregnant we knew exactly what we are getting ourself into. when the seeds are spilled inside of u, what on earth do you think will happen? Nothing? please lets be realistic and just be happy that our ex-partners are giving our children love. that should be enough! sorry for the

Madamzee
07 Apr 2008 03:02

Hey Mamela, i know all about baby mama drama.I really feel for baby mama's, and i do believe a man should take care of his child, whether 10 or 30. This is what happend ne. My boo was living with his child as the baby mama asked him to. (the child is now 8) we were okay for a year and i played mommy, Good mommy that is! we absolutely adored each other, still do.  when we took the child to visit biological mommy, I made sure that the child's hair is done and she had good clothes on, the child started talking about me (it was,me, my boo adn the mommy's boyfriend) telling the real mommy that she has a new mommy and the new mommy dresses her well, her hair is always in a good condition, i always dress up nicely and she wants to look like me one day when she starts working, i think that is where the problem started. She took my boo aside and asked him why does he let me take care of his child, what will happen if he dumpes me, the child will end up knowing a lot of mommies, (point taken) then my boo told him that the child is coping very well with me hence he lets me be the mommy in her absence, and he is infact planning to marry me. the realy baby mama told my boo that the child is not coping and he will see that when the child comes back. she took the child home for the holidays. on the 30th she called and said the child is crying for her daddy, we obviously had plans, but we cancelled and went to fetch the child. when we got home, the child cried saying she is missing the real mama,and she wants all of us to live with her. the daddy told her it was not possible the least he can do was to take her to the mama after every 2weeks, she threw the most unbelievable tentrum and got hurt, and unconcious, we took her to the hospital. He called the realy mommy to tell her, & guess what she said? she told him dat 4 the child 2 be okay, they need to live together until the child is old enough otherwise the child will not be ok. the child is still reacting the same way till today. she still has the nerve to tell me that i must use my best weapon if i want to keep my boo! because she has the best weapon. she also said "alufakwa li buya no daka the man is hers" (sorry 4 my zulu). i told him to do what is best for his child. it hurts A WHOLE LOT , but if it were my child i would put her first.

so tell me? what's a girl to do? How can you do someone do such a thing to her own child? i am wondering to this day what she did to the child? i am so scared of u baby mama's. the girl is such a disgrace to the women race, how can you subject yourself to live in a loveless relationship just because you want to spite your boo's. Athje!!!! I also blame girls, when we got pregnant we knew exactly what we are getting ourself into. when the seeds are spilled inside of u, what on earth do you think will happen? Nothing? please lets be realistic and just be happy that our ex-partners are giving our children love. that should be enough! sorry for the letter

Madamzee
07 Apr 2008 03:02

Hey Mamela, i know all about baby mama drama.I really feel for baby mama's, and i do believe a man should take care of his child, whether 10 or 30. This is what happend ne. My boo was living with his child as the baby mama asked him to. (the child is now 8) we were okay for a year and i played mommy, Good mommy that is! we absolutely adored each other, still do.  when we took the child to visit biological mommy, I made sure that the child's hair is done and she had good clothes on, the child started talking about me (it was,me, my boo adn the mommy's boyfriend) telling the real mommy that she has a new mommy and the new mommy dresses her well, her hair is always in a good condition, i always dress up nicely and she wants to look like me one day when she starts working, i think that is where the problem started. She took my boo aside and asked him why does he let me take care of his child, what will happen if he dumpes me, the child will end up knowing a lot of mommies, (point taken) then my boo told him that the child is coping very well with me hence he lets me be the mommy in her absence, and he is infact planning to marry me. the realy baby mama told my boo that the child is not coping and he will see that when the child comes back. she took the child home for the holidays. on the 30th she called and said the child is crying for her daddy, we obviously had plans, but we cancelled and went to fetch the child. when we got home, the child cried saying she is missing the real mama,and she wants all of us to live with her. the daddy told her it was not possible the least he can do was to take her to the mama after every 2weeks, she threw the most unbelievable tentrum and got hurt, and unconcious, we took her to the hospital. He called the realy mommy to tell her, & guess what she said? she told him dat 4 the child 2 be okay, they need to live together until the child is old enough otherwise the child will not be ok. the child is still reacting the same way till today. she still has the nerve to tell me that i must use my best weapon if i want to keep my boo! because she has the best weapon. she also said "alufakwa li buya no daka the man is hers" (sorry 4 my zulu). i told him to do what is best for his child. it hurts A WHOLE LOT , but if it were my child i would put her first.

so tell me? what's a girl to do? How can you do someone do such a thing to her own child? i am wondering to this day what she did to the child? i am so scared of u baby mama's. the girl is such a disgrace to the women race, how can you subject yourself to live in a loveless relationship just because you want to spite your boo's. Athje!!!! I also blame girls, when we got pregnant we knew exactly what we are getting ourself into. when the seeds are spilled inside of u, what on earth do you think will happen? Nothing? please lets be realistic and just be happy that our ex-partners are giving our children love. that should be enough! sorry for the letter ma

Madamzee
07 Apr 2008 03:02

Hey Mamela, i know all about baby mama drama.I really feel for baby mama's, and i do believe a man should take care of his child, whether 10 or 30. This is what happend ne. My boo was living with his child as the baby mama asked him to. (the child is now 8) we were okay for a year and i played mommy, Good mommy that is! we absolutely adored each other, still do.  when we took the child to visit biological mommy, I made sure that the child's hair is done and she had good clothes on, the child started talking about me (it was,me, my boo adn the mommy's boyfriend) telling the real mommy that she has a new mommy and the new mommy dresses her well, her hair is always in a good condition, i always dress up nicely and she wants to look like me one day when she starts working, i think that is where the problem started. She took my boo aside and asked him why does he let me take care of his child, what will happen if he dumpes me, the child will end up knowing a lot of mommies, (point taken) then my boo told him that the child is coping very well with me hence he lets me be the mommy in her absence, and he is infact planning to marry me. the realy baby mama told my boo that the child is not coping and he will see that when the child comes back. she took the child home for the holidays. on the 30th she called and said the child is crying for her daddy, we obviously had plans, but we cancelled and went to fetch the child. when we got home, the child cried saying she is missing the real mama,and she wants all of us to live with her. the daddy told her it was not possible the least he can do was to take her to the mama after every 2weeks, she threw the most unbelievable tentrum and got hurt, and unconcious, we took her to the hospital. He called the realy mommy to tell her, & guess what she said? she told him dat 4 the child 2 be okay, they need to live together until the child is old enough otherwise the child will not be ok. the child is still reacting the same way till today. she still has the nerve to tell me that i must use my best weapon if i want to keep my boo! because she has the best weapon. she also said "alufakwa li buya no daka the man is hers" (sorry 4 my zulu). i told him to do what is best for his child. it hurts A WHOLE LOT , but if it were my child i would put her first.

so tell me? what's a girl to do? How can you do someone do such a thing to her own child? i am wondering to this day what she did to the child? i am so scared of u baby mama's. the girl is such a disgrace to the women race, how can you subject yourself to live in a loveless relationship just because you want to spite your boo's. Athje!!!! I also blame girls, when we got pregnant we knew exactly what we are getting ourself into. when the seeds are spilled inside of u, what on earth do you think will happen? Nothing? please lets be realistic and just be happy that our ex-partners are giving our children love. that should be enough! sorry for the letter ma bloggers!!!

suzzy82
07 Apr 2008 03:03

@Nonny :  Lalelala wemfazi, uwena owakhetha ukumitha, and akusiyo inkinga yami ukuthi indoda yakushiya regardless of ur MOTHER OF MY BABY status u have, so chill and get another mission to accomplish, ngoba ubaba wengane yakho, is isithandwa sami as well as my mission.........phela kumele wazi ukuthi ingane yakhe iza kuqala kunawe

myname
07 Apr 2008 03:05

Shame guys i neva have the babymama drama & i have this Huge pride. To be honest nguye who called me on the wee hours asking about the baby bcoz wabona ukuba i dont count him as my babys father.I like to play that game Im doing perfect so he is the one who's following me

spice
07 Apr 2008 03:08

silweleni  my luv? i dont know you i dont want to know you i dont think there can be anything forcing me to talk to you  or ask sumthing from you ,i'm  only dealing with my babydaddy trying to get him to take responsiblility if his own child ,if it affecting  you tough SH** my dear we here and here to stay LOL we''ll be up in your face all the time the sooner you know that you come  second the better LMAO

Madamzee
07 Apr 2008 03:11

Sho!!! i dont know what happend. im new. please read the last one.

Toxic
07 Apr 2008 03:12

Oh, i misread the context! I would never call anyone at any hour to bring nappies-that's just not me!

All i know is that if my baby daddy were to leave me, it would take a whole lot of counselling for me to accept his nu lady in MY baby's life....am i making sense here?

I wonder though if all the mama's that are causing this DRAMA are really over the fact the fact that the relationship is O-V-E-R? Would they be doing this if they had a nu man in their lives taking care of them/their babies???

Cnglemother
07 Apr 2008 03:13

@Ngqesta geez  this is really touchy for you. 

@Dabs he is stuck with me for the rest of his life. whether it is my voice or seeing me I will be there till he dies or the child dies. I like the way you put, they must as well consider us as family coz we there to stay even he aint coming around but when he goes to bed at night the thought of his child that he's not seeing haunts him and i am just nightmare he cant figure out how get rid of. 

Teev i am in the same dilemma as you, i just dont know where to draw the line, i kept using the child and his mistakes to punish him. But is it fair to the child? i dont think so. He went as far as wanting to take my child to another province (his home) without me for a visit and i couldnt.

spice
07 Apr 2008 03:14

im just kidding ya'll im still with my baby daddy and dunno what i would  do if he decided to live me for another woman maybe i'll throw some tantrums maybe i wont i dunno LOL

Nonny
07 Apr 2008 03:16

@ Cnglemom, I se u've bribed Madamzee, to post 101 replies for u..........LOL

"phela kumele wazi ukuthi ingane yakhe iza kuqala kunawe"..........@ Suzzy82, vele lokho akubuzwa, fo sho the baby comes first, but not the MOTHER *hint hint, yikho indoda yakushiya*, so the mama must stop trying to seek attention via the baby unless it's neccessary then it's ofcourse highly understandable!!!!!

Miss K
07 Apr 2008 03:16

@ Spice i'm only dealing with my babydaddy trying to get him to take responsiblility if his own child ,...as i said in 1 of my replies if the guy is giving u problems and not maintening his child then throw all the tantrums u want dear but if ure being spiteful then ure acting childish and he will not come back to you and you should have thought of the consequences before deciding to be a single mother. Unless of coz u were raped!

Ngqesta
07 Apr 2008 03:18

Shoooooooo....Madamzee....askes sisi! Just love your boo and pray hard, all else will fall into place with time. Whatever you do, don't stoop to this Nondindwa's level.

@cnglema...........Ngqesta geez you are tough cookie, flu and teething everyday problems dont move u one bit, uthi ulinde icomma sthandwa sam......ROFLMBAO (rolling on the floor and laughing my black a$$ off).....all am trying to say girl is that, it ought to be something serious. By all means I want him to be a responsible father, in that way that gives me the comfort to a certain extent that he will be a good father to my kids as well one day. However I refuse that WE be manipulated by BMs!

bulie
07 Apr 2008 03:19

@Cnglemother great article but i'm sorry to say i dont have any comment bcoz i have not yet experienced that so i dont no what to say.

Miss K
07 Apr 2008 03:20

I wonder though if all the mama's that are causing this DRAMA are really over the fact the fact that the relationship is O-V-E-R? Would they be doing this if they had a nu man in their lives taking care of them/their babies???....@ Toxic I would think most of them are just hurting from the broken relationship especially if u thought having the baby selead the deal so u didnt expect to be dumped now!

faraimagic
07 Apr 2008 03:23

once dated someone who had 2 kids from a previous relationship she had,i remember the guy used to rock up at our place unanounced,more esp in the early mornings ,demanding to see his kids..........the he becam a nightmare wen he lost his job...he wud cum to my ex asking her for money to go for an interview.......it was pathetic...emagine i wud go out on my way to work and this guy will be also coming in....until i started suspecting that they were bonking!

Nonny
07 Apr 2008 03:24

"I wonder though if all the mama's that are causing this DRAMA are really over the fact the fact that the relationship is O-V-E-R? Would they be doing this if they had a nu man in their lives taking care of them/their babies???" 

@ Tox, I think some mama's are still in shock that after bearing the daddy's child for 9 months and taking care of the baby & blah blah blah and all that jazz that comes with motherhood, the man still left, so now as a way to release their anger they use the child, becoz deep down inside they are not at peace with the fact that the relationship is over!!!!!!

Dabs
07 Apr 2008 03:27

@ Madamzee are you okay.

@Dabs...........if you read correctly I said, more so if he is reasonably playing his role in his child life, to me that is dealing with the consequences.....and I do acknowledge that he did have sex with the BM without taking the necessary pre-cautions, however as MY man who is no longer with the mother of his baby, that's about the best that he will do. Fact is, BMs need to stop mornalising an abnormal situation, when yu are singlemom you need to understand that it will never be the same as when the child has a flu with your husband next to you period.

You're quite right I have NEVER slept with a child who has a minor flu on my own because I decided it was not the right time for me to put myself through that. If I were to DECIDE to do so, I would most certainly not call the father in the middle of the night, more so if he is not my child's doctor,or phone him at 3 becoz the baby is missing him.
I am not saying you are wrong in feeling the way that you do, however, in my experience with BMs, this is the opinion that i strongly hold.
Mandihle zinkosi! Quote

@ Nqesta, reasonably is not a consequence.  He must be there when the child is sick, he chose to stick his toots and I chose to open my legs so if I feel I need him I will call.I will not let pride get in my way. And when you slept with me you were not reasonably sleeping with me. So why must you reasonably be in the babie's life. And there's lots more to go through in abaies life and if I happen to wake you up in your comfy bed at night then you will know never to do that again. Why do you think guys had babies left,right and centre in the old days, that was beacuse they got away with it. Now there ain't no getting away that is why guys are a bit more responsible and don't want babies. BM's are out in full force and we wil get you. 

and might I add I'm a married woman, it's hard even though my husband is around, I can just imagine how harder it would be without him, that is why this subject holds close to me because I can see that BM's go through a lot without the baby daddy's there.
And men should stop making babies if they know they don't want to be with that woman. FINISH EN KLAAR!!!!

Miss K
07 Apr 2008 03:27

Sorry about your situation Madamzee. Its unbelieveable what lengths some women would go to just to keep a man. How do u sleep at nignt knowing that the man next u doesn't love u and staying in this loveless relationship just becoz of the child??

spice
07 Apr 2008 03:28

HAWU miss K didnt you read my reply ?????????? i said i was kidding

Miss K
07 Apr 2008 03:30

And women shud stop thinking that if indoda uyimithele he will never leave u! Bitch please!

Toxic
07 Apr 2008 03:30

hahhaahahahahah, Farai!!

Miss K
07 Apr 2008 03:31

I saw your reply Spice but i know that there are ppl who actually think that way for real so that was for them.

zolx
07 Apr 2008 03:36

I'd never use my baby to cause trouble in my ex's lovelife. I think its also about letting go. If you've moved on with your life after the break-up you wont use any funny excuses to see the man. I live miles away from my ex with my baby..i only speak to him if he phones and i email him if he's not well or something but i dont expect him to drive at night UNLESS its an emergency situation, which has never occured by the way...i like things as they are i dont wanna see him but i talk about him with my son just for the child's sake ..you know.

Cnglemother
07 Apr 2008 03:37

@Nonny thanks for bribing madamzee amareplies akhulile mngani. 

@Toxy I wonder though if all the mama's that are causing this DRAMA are really over the fact the fact that the relationship is O-V-E-R? Would they be doing this if they had a nu man in their lives taking care of them/their babies??? aint gonna lie to you, that thought does cross a babymama's mind at times, jealousy over the new woman will be there. Its really not nice to push the baby's pram alone at the mall and sometimes you do wish some of your friends to hear you say  "this weekend we are going to Goldreef as a family to play games" wena wahlala ubonwa wedwa with the baby no father around, am i lying babymamas? we do wish for all the other things that couples enjoy. Sometimes you dont feel like changing the nappy and you would just go "baba ka Sli ukakile, uwumsule impundu wethu, ikaka iyadina sometimes.

faraimagic
07 Apr 2008 03:38

Toxic realy look at it...he was very abusive to her wen they were still together neh,mara if this guy wants something from her,she wud jump for him....claimimg that they will always be part of each other stuff.....wether i like it or not......yho.....my heart used to beat faster everytime im coming back early from work...i was thinking...wat if i walk in on them?wat will happen?maybe she still has feelings for him!   all that kind of stuff....i was always stressed!

Nonny
07 Apr 2008 03:42

"And women shud stop thinking that if indoda uyimithele he will never leave u! Bitch please!"
LMAO...........Amen to that Miss K, basala nazo izingane zabo *sometimes 3 of them* .......heheehe......isemhlabeni lana, vukani emaqandeni bantu besifazane..........LOL

Zee Babes!
07 Apr 2008 03:48

@Miss K And women shud stop thinking that if indoda uyimithele he will never leave u! Bitch please...Batshela sisi bese bebanga isicefe, especially if you do it as a final means of keeping the man.... if he is no longer in your arms he is not yours get that - move on and stop stressing.........oh and while on it - dont deny him the child if he is good to him/her and dont cum dropping the child on Sat evening - dats our time to bond and not baby sit.

myname
07 Apr 2008 03:50

hahahahahaha shame guys. Nice one cinglemum & LOL

Ngqesta
07 Apr 2008 03:51

@ Dabs.....BM's are out in full force and we wil get you. ......LMAO....need I say more really!

Clearly, we're not talking at the same level here lady friend......you seem to be reading what you want to understand from my postings...like I said you are fully entitled to yur opinion, same applies to me.

All am saying is, no woman alive would make MY man get up in the wee hours of the morning because the child has 'FLU'. In turn, I would never do that to any woman.

Cnglemother
07 Apr 2008 03:51

I know some babymamas are making a fortune out of these arrangements especially if the guy is loaded, i just remember one of our very outspoken politicians (wont metion names)  was asked to pay R11000 monthly by a certain doctor (baby mama) and the court decided it was only gonna be R1000 she will be getting. I used to pay my credit card with his money (that one payment he made) i mean its my credit card that runs the baby's daily expenses so why not. Who's living large at babydaddy's expense? he ruined your figure why not ruin his bank account?

faraimagic
07 Apr 2008 03:51

guys do the same mara in a more twisted way...think the fact that their ex finaly moved on kills them! you dont wana see yo ex happy with someone else...period>>>>>>>>>>

suzzy82
07 Apr 2008 03:52

@Farai:wat if i walk in on them?wat will happen?maybe she still has feelings for him! all that kind of stuff....i was always stressed.....Even man r suffering like women *bathong *

Dabs
07 Apr 2008 03:52

I can imagine the anger and the hurt that BM's go through. But you guys must remember that when we have sex with guys and especially knowing that we will fall pregnant we are in love and the guy tells us he loves us. I can't not have baby in a marraige because I'm scared that my husband might leave me. And even if I am financially stable I still will need him to be there emotionally. SO please guys you don't know what happened for these women to allow themselves to be pregnant. You don't know what the devil next to you has done previously. So you must know that he might not be the angel that you think he is.

@ Miss Kay, I really respect your maturity and way of thinking.

Toxic
07 Apr 2008 03:52

Its really not nice to push the baby's pram alone at the mall and sometimes you do wish some of your friends to hear you say "this weekend we are going to Goldreef as a family to play games"

Sometimes you dont feel like changing the nappy and you would just go "baba ka Sli ukakile, uwumsule impundu wethu, ikaka iyadina sometimes. 

All that is overrated-it seldom happens they way people on the outside looking in see it. Even a trip to goldreef doesn't have the same sentimental meaning it may appear to on the outside. Once people settle in to their routine life, especially when there's a baby, there's hardly any time at all to actually sit back and appreciate the family you have (married or not). It's like being in a relationship for most people wishing to be in one.

I live with my baby daddy and i can count on my one hand the number of times he's changed our baby's nappies or bought her nappies or baby sat her if i needed to work on weekends. If you harbour those feelings long enough, they become a part of your aura and you will never let him go or rather get over the idea of him and you together!

Focus on the gift that your baby is and create memories for him and yourself cause babies grow very quickly. Spend all that energy you spend thinking abt what ifs/him on ways to make your baby more happier-take him/her for swimming lessons, piano lessons, whatever and before you know it, you would have stoppped thinking abt him and the drama will be out of your life.

Sometimes i think men hang on to their new relationships even more firmly cause of all the drama we BMs give them. They're probs thinking, THANK GOODNESS I LEFT THAT OVER-REACTING, DRAMA-LOVING WOMAN! @ least my nunu, sweetie, dali or whatever gives me space to breathe LOL!

Toxic
07 Apr 2008 03:57

my heart used to beat faster everytime im coming back early from work...i was thinking...wat if i walk in on them?wat will happen?maybe she still has feelings for him! all that kind of stuff....i was always stressed!

Farai, it's a good thing you moved on AWAY from that relationship! i would be tooo!! what's with her supporting-financially nogal-her ex??

poshspice
07 Apr 2008 03:58

When you decide (and yes BMs do decide otherwise we all would be BMs) to have a child out of wedlock, you need to understand the consequences that come with the territory, and that the father WILL NOT always be there.

true...Ibut women never learn that kids are for marriage-once a man says I love you, we go crazy..

Dabs
07 Apr 2008 04:00

@ Nqesta, I mean the guys. Not the woman, why would I want to get you when I don't know you. Please guys, nani stop making babies coz those BM's ain;t going nowhere and might want revenge. Your life will never be the same again just like hers.

Preshiii
07 Apr 2008 04:03

Yho, mna I've always set a standard that I would never date a brother who has a child...maybe because I've always had a nightmare that I would be giving birth to our first child and whilst I'm doing the required pushing, he'd be sitiing flossing his teeth & telling me its gonna be ok, saying sumthin like this "Heeeee I remember when Ntombqala was born, I had never seen such a beautiful baby...or when Cijimpi was born...WTF??? 

I want him to scream with me dammit, I want him to faint, I want to bite into his hand when he says "just breathe baby" and tell him "you got me into this condition jou LWABISH!!! 

Babymamas....women are an insecure bunch of people and I'd rather not deal with this woman on woman insecurity...

@ SEGO: Thank Gaad when I spec'd the man of my dreams I was clear to the universe/God that I want a man with no mama drama - whether his own children or his mother! 

Totally feel you gal! So many had told me that I wouldn't find a decent man who doesn't have a child these days....thing is God's bigger than anyone's opinion, He knew my heart's desires & gave me exactly what I longed for!



Madamzee
07 Apr 2008 04:03

@ Ngesta, i sure will pray Sisi, but Modimo waka this is getting to my nerves!!! I think if God has planned for us to be together we will be somehow and there is not a damn thing she can do to stop God's will.i stepped aside & let him do the best for the child, he fetched her and she was bosting about it, bathong it hurt so much. She might be living there now @ his house,but my boo is surely but slowly moving into my house and leaving them there. he now goes to see the child in the afternoon when she is from school and sleeps at my house. But i sure feel guilty for taking him away from his child, although its not intentional, he chose 2 sleep at my house. Nondindwa is giving me endless calls about how much of a moloi i am, i dont reply i just hang up. she is not happy, so was it worth it? Maybe the man she left behind the other province was going to marry her. i dont ask my boo a thing about her, but iyangidla lendaba yo kuthi she lives at his house!!!  it will sort itself out. i believe so.

Bathong Baby mama's, i know it is the most painful thing to loose your baby's father,but  throwing tentrums makes him see you for what you really are (cheap, cheap, cheap!!)  just be strong and let him go as he was not meant for you, your childish ways are a sure turn off and he will loose all respect for you.yes you will always be there in his life because of the child, just be grateful that he is willing to help u out. 

if you don't let him go, you are depriving yourself of finding a man that was meant for you, a man that could  truely love you and your child for dear life!! because a loveless relationship will not make you happy , just BITTER,despite the fact that you are his baby mama . you are just wasting time when you could be in the arms of the man who you loves. Imagine having a man that will go against all odds for you. that will be nice! Let him return to you out of his own free will. you CAN'T force love. Move bloody on!! and get a bloody life. 
Shame my man! i know its hard for him to leave the child at night as he raised him on his own, from 5 years, she is now 8

it feels good to offload!!! cause i can't burden him with more problems, constant whining and complaning.
 

suzzy82
07 Apr 2008 04:09

@Miss K And women shud stop thinking that if indoda uyimithele he will never leave u! Bitch please..YOU R WRONG
a woman have all the right to think if a man make u pregnant must be with you as he promise ,you must always remember as a woman these man make Empty promise's , they can convince you not to go for an abortion he'll be there 4u and the baby

Zee Babes!
07 Apr 2008 04:11

@C`nglemom -i mean its my credit card that runs the baby's daily expenses so why not. Who's living large at babydaddy's expense? he ruined your figure why not ruin his bank account?  You had me in stiches with this one...so BMs literally do to re-arrange the bank account -! Iyho kunzima mos.

Cnglemother
07 Apr 2008 04:16

Well said Toxy, from an outside view we are always thinking its always rosy and perfect. I guess its human nature for one to be wishing for more or the  things were different.

Madamze you have a real Nondidwa case on your shoulders, she definitely does not love herself/her child enough to go through such extremes just to be with that.You also have patience i must say, as the quitter that i am i would have butted out a long time ago, love or not.  

Nonny
07 Apr 2008 04:16

"Who's living large at babydaddy's expense? he ruined your figure why not ruin his bank account?"

@ Cnglemom,
my dearest friend, plz allow me to BEG to disagree, nobody ruins ur future, YOU ruin it coz YOU are the one who decided to have sex without a condom, and then still u didn't take the morning after pill if it caught u offgaurd *which still beats me how it happens*. I REALLY don't understand woman that blame a man when they fall pregnant, yes the onus is on both the man and woman to prevent pregnancy, but having said that the onus lies more on u becoz u know the parenthood weight will surely lie on u the most, therefore it's up to u to either be on the pill or the injection if u fancy ukushaya iskoon so much or preferably use a condom *is that so hard ladies & gents????*. Now plz leave the guys account alone and fit the baby's 50/50 becoz u had the choice not to fall pregnat, but u chose to fall pregnant instead...........so stop b!tching about it as if one day u woke up u were pregnant when u had taken all the neccessary precautions not to becoz clearly u failed to do that.

P.S - I know I'm u baby mama's & baby mama lovers I waiting to bite my head off, so go ahead & bring it on, coz I have had it with feeling sorry for people who have put themselves in certain positions like being a mama...........LOL

Zee Babes!
07 Apr 2008 04:17

@suzzy82 - a woman have all the right to think if a man make u pregnant must be with you as he promise ,you must always remember as a woman these man make Empty promise's , they can convince you not to go for an abortion he'll be there 4u and the baby 

No you are wrong babes, what if the pregnancy happens as a result of negligence from both of you, or if you (the gal) falls pregnant cos you think it will fall or even worse what if the pregnancy is a result of a one nite stand...you cant possibly expect dat person to stay and play daddy dearest - the least he can do is support his offsprind and d mama = MOVE ON.  We cant always put the blame on man... if its possible support the child, find a new man who will love you and live your life. 

Dabs
07 Apr 2008 04:18

Madamzee you have a good man never let him go. i understand the guilt, but that woman is just plain EVIL, those are the kind of woman who give BM's a bad name. She should be ashamed of herself, it's been bloody 4 years, I belive someone loyad her. Sies man, I can't stand women like that. I understand if the baby is really sick, I will  call. but making the man live with me, he will hate me for the rest of his life. surely that is not what she wants. You are strong girl, let me tell you, you are not taking the child away from his dad. the mom is the one driving him away, just remember that there is reason why he left her and even you can see that reason. she is just a hopeless case, she will never find a man who will love her for her good heart.  you are so much better than her, instead of thanking you for loving her  baby  this is what she does. NX!!!!!!!!

zolx
07 Apr 2008 04:19

I'm a proud babymama, i provide for my son and want nothing from his daddy. He's the one who calls and that's perfect with me.He doesnt even pay child maintenance cause i dont want him thinking i cant take care of my child. I want as little to do with my ex as possible....its a pity that he's the one who fathered my baby otherwise i wouldnt have anything to deal with him. Nangoku i just sacrifice for the child's sake ...cos i want him to have a relationship with his father. Not all babymamas are bad peeps,..

Zee Babes!
07 Apr 2008 04:27

@Zolx -- Dats what um talking about - sure ntombazane.  Gal plz khaniyeke ukuba zi- mini stalkers...the only thing the man has to do is help you raise the child and not all the the stunts you pull ESPCIALLY IF UFASILE

Preshiii
07 Apr 2008 04:29

a woman have all the right to think if a man make u pregnant must be with you as he promise ,you must always remember as a woman these man make Empty promise's , they can convince you not to go for an abortion he'll be there 4u and the baby 

@Suzzy82: ?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
SAY WHAT???????????????????????????????????????????????????????

As you can see I'm really puzzled...

Peachy
07 Apr 2008 04:29

CngleMom > gal... hav you thot about the heartache, headache, hurt and all that may come with your guy having 3 baby mamas to all call him at 2am, 2:23am and 2:47am respectively, siting different baby sicknesses???. 
I'll tell you my story ke love..... (love can make us do all the  stupid things we never thought we could do)... mna ke i was in love wth a guy who had four sons (that he officially introduced to me, don know if there were more but i suspected) and they al, had their owm mamas. Each one of them came onth end to claim whats due to the kid (or both of them..i ended up not understanding), and worse i proceeded to marrying him.
they all showed up at the doorstep of the company to get their dues and withstanding that as his wife was just too much it hurt me knowing i could be next on line for what ever reason (fortunately we neva had a kid till we parted ways i January and still finalisind the dirvoce)
My Point is ke love why do we girls fall stupid prey of these cunning stupid heartbreakers cos thats all they're good at. how do you explain somebody having four differentkids from four different ladies, and why do we allow them to mithisa us cos we know and we see of how Babtmamas are struggling, it just doesn't make sense, but on the other hand, we are always blinded by what they Term LOVE and we think we can bear as many kids as we can for them just because we think we love them.....NONSENSE..!!! To hell with love then!!
Mna i'm only saying we need to be careful of who we shag with, we all know how mnandi shagging is but it doesn't hurt to think first b4 laying nakedly on those sheets that have probably seen a million other different ladies.
No offence but mna i decided to leave my man cos he was all stressfull and start a brand new life on my own, i loved him fine and deep down i know i still do but i had to set myself the limits here or i was gonna end up ethuneni.

Enkosi POSHSPICE!!!

Toxic
07 Apr 2008 04:33

Now plz leave the guys account alone and fit the baby's 50/50 becoz u had the choice not to fall pregnat, but u chose to fall pregnant instead...........so stop b!tching about it as if one day u woke up u were pregnant when u had taken all the neccessary precautions not to becoz clearly u failed to do that. 

Fair enough NONNY. So, when exactly are dads supposed to be financially responsible for their babies??? Quite honestly, men get away with a lot even if they live with their families---the biggest financial burden rests on a woman and THAT'S not FAIR! Today's men know nothing abt responsibility and i think if they did HALF the drama in their lives would be gone.

Some-no, most- of them listen to the new lady in their lives telling them not to spend money on the woman. They make it sound like the woman will spend the money on herself-money that could ensure your baby has a good education to his name.

anyway, my point is as much as I am responsible for this child, no way in hell is the father NOT!

Fluffy Head
07 Apr 2008 04:34

Its the good old sour grapes syndrome bantu that makes baby mama's create the drama. There is a thing called dignity and when you still have yours in tact there is no way in hell you will use your baby to create drama and seek attention from your man. I have a friend who has a baby and she respects herself and loves her baby too much to use him as a bait. And because that is the way she thinks and behaves the father is always there when needed with no quams and the cuirrent girlfriend really respects her and likes her up to a point where I think they are almost friends (although I do not support that).
But I think that if you are mature about things and really love your baby and get over the fact that your man left you for another woman even though you are the mother of his baby__you won't cause any unncessary drama. That is also not good for the child's upbringing, what are you teaching your child nje when you are doing that. IT just comes to show that you were not ready to be a mother.

So guys respect yourselves and love your kids genuinely to want the best for them. And that also includes minimum drama and fights between you and the father. I'm from a single parent home and trust me the fights between my mom nad my dad are still going on till today. Its not healthy at all. Before they fought about maintenance now they fight about who should get how much money out of me- home economic empowerment abthong...But seriouslly guys - teach urself while the baby is still young to maintain a very healthy relationship with the father and any woman in his life. If you do not trust the woman (or he changes them very often) ask him not to introduce the woman to your child and if he would mind if the child never meets the woman.

Segololo
07 Apr 2008 04:35

baby mamas - I sympathise with you on all you have to endure. I know how hard it is being a mother - even tho, I have King K, it is still hard work like Toxic said.  

When I was still free, young and wild I found myself being in relationships with men that already had children. like I said before i dated a guy that had 6 children with 6 different women - the oldest child was 4 and the youngest was 3 months. Now those women were drama! They would all pitch on a friday at his place to drop off the kids - yes, even the 3 month old - reasoning was why should they have horrible weekends when he is busy shagging other people and having a grand life. I seriously did not blame them for feeling betrayed by him; but why not use protection when shagging when you know he already has other kids he is not bothered to take care of? Why now put your childs safety and health to spite a man that  didn't seem responsible to his other children even before you fell preggies? Aoa bathong! And all these women were educated sisters with blossoming carreers, driving nice cars and looking very good - Virgin active membership written on their foreheads! 

My friends ex that I dated for 4 years had 2 children - they have an age gap of 6 months - so when babymama1 was preggies, babymama 2 fell preggies - my dear friend was always told how bm1 was selfish and bm2 was childish. bm1 worked and would only call when boyfie had a trip planned with my friend about a crisis that usually involved her having a deadline and him needing to do his duties as a father and fetch the child. Mind you, she lived in JHB while baby was with her ma in Maftown! bm2 had dropped out of school because she was too busy partying with boyfie to spite bm1 and then she fell preggies and now her family said - you chose this life, deal with it - we are not buying a diaper or fokol for this brat! they were really disappointed parents that were just not willing to budge! So boyfie would fetch her on month-end to bulk-buy all the baby needs and clothes. Whenever she saw my friend and boyfie somewhere together she would throw a fit about how irresponsible he was; not buying his baby nothing but having money to take my friend out and buy he clothes! 

Now when I started dating him; I just told him I really don't want drama and he better keep his baby mama drama out of our relationship because I will not have it! bm1 was called and introduced to me - then told that I am his girlfriend, he apologised for all the things that made their relationship not work and told her that I would not meddle in their responsibilities as parents. Their son needed them to be mature and get along so he would pick up baby one weekend a month and take him to his mas who would ensure the baby is fine. I just sat with them looking all prety and not saying a word! She never called when we had plans to go away because he kept all his promises. I was jealous that at some point they were getting too close but I kept it to myself and didn't get involved.

bm2, dammit! We had what I would now refer to as the "Why did I get married? scene with Angela, Marcus and his baby mama" - she threw one of her childish tantrums at a public place and babydaddy pulled out all the receipts and told her to zip it! He told her that I was his girlfriend and at the rate things were going he will simply get a lawyer and get full custody of the baby! He told her we might get married and all and I am willing to raise his child (I was not aware that I was), and she won't even have visitation rights! She just kept quite and I was not getting involved, it was not my fight! So she started behaving and he would fetch both kids on the same weekend - his ma was very happy -

Cnglemother
07 Apr 2008 04:35

Nonny i hear you my friend it was just anger talking, its true pregnancy should not be blamed on the man part, no one is really forced to open their legs at gunpoint unless its a rape case. Sometimes you do feel like spiting (sp) the father by injecting some form of pain in his systems, either by irresponsibly chowing his money or refusing visitation rights.

Zolx i know the feeling, sometimes you wish there could be a law that allows us to divorce these men out of the children's life but it wont be fair to the child and its not our decision to make but the child's. I also did not go the maintaince route as it will simple mean i am unable to take of my child and maybe the real reason I got pregnant was to chow his money so I try by all means to show him that where he is or not around life goes . Viva proudymmomies viva!

suzzy82
07 Apr 2008 04:39

Yhoo !!! Preshiii 
abo brothers their a$$$ r not innocent here ,those baby mama's r not the ones to be blame 
as it takes two to tango

We don't know wt was said behind the close doors 
Anyway my man is still doing wt he promise the day he was asking for a baby 
i can't complain for my side 

BUT I FEEL FOR THE SISTARS THAT HAVE TO RAISE THE BABY ALONE OUT THERE ABE UTATA ENEKAMAGQENENE PHANDLE  

Simmone
07 Apr 2008 04:43

@Suzzy82…………A man can promise to fetch the sun for you and keep it cool in the freezer but surely you cannot be that naïve and stupid to believe that. Men can even sell their mothers to get into a woman’s pants.

Women need to stop being so naïve when it comes to love. You can give a man children the size of an Orlando Pirates squad but if he doesn’t see you as worthy of being a wife, HE WILL LEAVE YOU WITH YOUR PIRATES SQUAD.

sponono
07 Apr 2008 04:45

once went out with this girl who tried to 'shove' her child down my throat..i.e wanted me to play father figure  by bringing the child to my place... and i was like girl  this child has a father....so let HIM be the father...what i realised long time ago  is that most women act like they dont want nothing to do with the baby's daddies but deep down they still have feelings for them so for her to act like she's keen on me being the replacement for her daughter father is an attempt to convice me that she's completely over the guy..and I DONT buy it......(in fact i believe when you try as much to avoid someone i.e you baby's daddy or when you act like he's the worse thing ever..i think its because you are not completely over him...so dont be tryin to fool me into being the new father to your child just because you're still angry with him.... 

my other friend tell me yena he always shags his baby's mama when she visits his parents home when he's there .(he's married and she knows ).if i ask him how.."well umam wengan yam...ngeke nqabe nje kalula"  (she's my baby's mama so she cant easily refuse me sex"  and i start to wonder how many other girls do the same thing...because "ubab'wengan yam"  

so girls even us guys experience the baby drama too  ...what with people using teh whole "BOND" thing and "WE BROUGHT a LIFE INTO THIS EARTH" story....i tell you there is no competition you just have to put your foot down instead of tolerating all sorts of nonsense becaseu of a child... 

poshspice
07 Apr 2008 04:46

Nonny...you are spot on, at the end day individuals must take responsibility for their own actions, yes it's hard bringing up a child alone but if you chose to do it out of wed lock, then deal with it.

  

teev
07 Apr 2008 04:47

 @ Suzzy82 "BUT I FEEL FOR THE SISTARS THAT HAVE TO RAISE THE BABY ALONE OUT THERE ABE UTATA ENEKAMAGQENENE PHANDLE........... hayi maan Suzzy how did u come up with this one..........lol


Honeypot
07 Apr 2008 04:48

But seriously some women go to xtremes, My ex boyfriend had an 8 year old son, which he adored whole heartedly and I also loved the boy because he loved just as much as his dad loved me, Or maybe he loved my place and my car a bit more, he would even he ask his dad to come visit me,The problem started when my man bought a new phone and he gave his son his old phone, he just removed his sim card and my contact numbers where still left on that old, the witch started calling me and pretending to be those sales people and he would ask all sorts of personal questions, and when she saw that I was mission impossible she started calling me and calling all sorts of names and she would leave some nasty comments on my voicemail. Me and my man started having fights about that and for the fear of being bewitched I decided to end the relationship.

myname
07 Apr 2008 04:50

My babys father is crazy. Sometimes he will call me at 12 oclock mid night asking about my baby whereas he knows I dont stay with him. And I will go like Im with my boyfriend even if Im alone & I dont have a baby. He is so jealous & whenever he saw me he will go like I can see life is treating you well Mama kaMangMang esp if im walking with a guy. Its eating him whenever he bumped on me & Im looking fabulous. He thought i will fall & feel pity for myself kanti I luv myself & my baby boy. And I hate asking him something because why I have to call/tell him that I need this & that for the baby whereas he knows we have a baby. I dont nag I play the super woman. I always tell him indlovu ayisindwa ngumboko wayo & my boyfriend loves my baby so yena he (my ex) can go & make other babies because he doesnt have a baby. So guys why dont we love ourselves, give luv 2 ur precious babies bcoz you cant force him to luv u. When he said its Over he meant it

Nonny
07 Apr 2008 04:51

"Fair enough NONNY. So, when exactly are dads supposed to be financially responsible for their babies???"
 @ Toxic, As I said, the baby's financial needs should be split 50/50 from day one till the very end and not just solely on the father to provide provide povide, coz at the end of the day, it took both of ur'll to make that baby so must also pay, not just by love and affection, but by nappies, doctor's bill and all the other mulla needs a baby comes with!!!!

Sugarcandy
07 Apr 2008 04:55

@ FLUFFY:  But I think that if you are mature about things and really love your baby and get over the fact that your man left you for another woman even though you are the mother of his baby__you won't cause any unnecessary drama. That is also not good for the child's upbringing, what are you teaching your child nje when you are doing that. IT just comes to show that you were not ready to be a mother.

So guys respect yourselves and love your kids genuinely to want the best for them. And that also includes minimum drama and fights between you and the father. 


AMEN GIRL, you couldn't have said it better!!!!

Nonny
07 Apr 2008 04:57

"I always tell him indlovu ayisindwa ngumboko wayo" 
That's the spirit Myanme, i salute woman like you!!!!!

"Nonny...you are spot on, at the end day individuals must take responsibility for their own actions, yes it's hard bringing up a child alone but if you chose to do it out of wed lock, then deal with it."
I agree 200% Poshpice, wakhetha uka umzali, so live with it!!!!

Mopakistan
07 Apr 2008 05:00

I hae a child but the relationship with the father was over long before the child was born but he only saw the child once when he was a few months old...i dont even know where he is right now,wether he is still alive or dead(he is from a different country)..i have never asked for anything from him or bothered him in any way and im happy with my child..thank God i have parents who love my kid to death and who hae been supportive so they are there for me and my child if we ever need anything.and im lucky to have a boyfriend who doesnt have a child and he adores my son...so i dont bother anybody and nobody bothers me..my son is a blessing and the two of us are doing fine.

Gucci
07 Apr 2008 05:02

Hi ya'll

Interesting one Cnglemommy! I have never been in this situation b4 but I have come out with these learnings while reading y'all replies:

1. If ur Babydaddy leaves u, instead of bitching and moaning, find urself a Man, I mean nowadays having a baby b4 marriadge(single) is not such a big deal. MOVE ON!
2. Take precautionary measures! Instead of blaming the Sperm-donor, do something about your Own body too. Its a fact, a lot of pregnancies out there are unplanned, remember b4 u blame someone for impregnating (sp) you, the other finger is pointing back on u.
3. Present guy girl, please be considerate, take the situation and think twice about making decision, just think if it was ur baby would you react the same. Same applies to you Babymama, if u were the girl, would you be able to put up with such crap (thats if it is!)
4. I mean Guys, HIV is there waiting for us on a Silver platter, if u practice unsafe SEX (not easy nhe?), you are munching all the goodies on that platter.
5. Men will always be MEN, be a STEP ahead!!!

I can go on and on..I hope u catch My drift.
Much love.


tshepiso
07 Apr 2008 05:02

shuuuu the topic!!!!!!!! NO WONDER THE NAME OF THE AUTHOR,'''''

Cnglemother
07 Apr 2008 05:06

@suzzy82 ABE UTATA ENEKAMAGQENENE PHANDLE........... i thought i knew my my beautiful language in out and you just proved me wrong, have never had of that statement before. 

Spopo i also suffer from the shove-the-baby-to-the-new-man syndrome, It pleases when i see that the new guy shows interest in my baby. Eish i get so turned off if you dont ask me about his wellbeing, u can even teketisa (play with the baby make those cooey sounds) him. Thanks for ya input since guys are not willing to share their experiences it would have made it interesting to hear their stories.

Peachy strong woman.

Myname uyakurhalela mchana, azange uwe after he dumped you LOL. But i dont agree with you cutting him out of the child's life, i am also doing it but its not advisable, pride sometimes can be dangerous.

Preshiii
07 Apr 2008 05:07

@ Suzzy82...yep gal, I know men are not innocent in this matter, however I dont understand the concept of someone MAKING you fall pregnant & being CONVINCED by someone to not have an abortion...I'm just wondering, where is one's brain in all the MAKING & CONVINCING???

My Ex & I conceived mutually & when I found out that I was 3 weeks pregnant & told him, he told me he wasn't ready (how are you not ready for a planned baby?!), he's not sure, blah blah blah...frechrissake he acted like he was the one that was carrying the baby...

I knew what I wanted & didn't want, so I headed straight for Marie Stopes & terminated my pregnancy (which didn't come without its trauma mind you)
He wasn't sure anymore but wanted me to keep the baby...I've never wanted to raise a child on ma own, besides that, even if he had wanted to reconcile, there were 17hundred other women in da picture I soon found out...and as I said b4 I dont do woman on woman insecurities, and that was not gonna be my life...

When the begging failed to work its magic on me....he threatened to take me to court for killing his child...I gave him the nearest court address

Point is...when someone changes his mind bout something that will adversely affect your future (like a baby), you gotta put your thinkin cap on and do what's best for you & the baby, for me that choice was an abortion, for you maybe not...but we all choose the consequences when we choose the behaviour...and unfortunately for most single mothers, the joy of having their children also comes with the frustration of unreliable fathers who move on with their lives with other women
 

myname
07 Apr 2008 05:09

@ Sponono i disagree with u. Luv I will Never go back to my Ex & i dont care if he has Motsepe's money or he has all the money in the world or whatever. I will rather go to EC & plant vegetables to feed my son. And its your choice to act as a father to my baby. If u dont want to be involved with my baby then i will make sure u remain fatherless. Nam i hate that thing as i didnt say im looking for a new daddy

Toxic
07 Apr 2008 05:13

As I said, the baby's financial needs should be split 50/50 from day one till the very end and not just solely on the father to provide provide povide, coz at the end of the day, it took both of ur'll to make that baby so must also pay, not just by love and affection, but by nappies, doctor's bill and all the other mulla needs a baby comes with!!!!

MUCH MUCH easier said than done!

Nonny
07 Apr 2008 05:16

@ parks *I see u still haven't reached Gold I see, kuyoze kulunge manakazi.........LOL*, Neway I like the independant stance u have taken BUT cutting ALL ties with the baby daddy might not be such a good idea in the long run. Umtana uzolidinga usiko laka baba one day. What will u say when ur child gets curious and he wants to know his father & where he resides??? Rather know where he lives *if he is still alive - God forbid he is already dead coz kuyafiwiwa nowadays*..........but I just somehow I think it's wrong not to know where he lives, coz one day u will need him and u won't have an idea where to start looking for him!!!

myname
07 Apr 2008 05:22

@Cinglemum i neva cut him out of my baby's life but ndambona ukuba i have to beg him to do something for his baby kanti ukucenga is not my hobby. So its where i told myself this is my baby so i should act as mama & tata bcoz his father is useless......

Nonny
07 Apr 2008 05:22

"MUCH MUCH easier said than done!"
@ Toxic, I honestly believe that the only time the financial responsibilty of the child should lie more on the daddy is only if the mother has no financial power *since vele omasihlupheka bethanda ukumitha......LOL*.........then it's understandable for the daddy to be paying more, otherwise both mom & dad must suffer, sacrifice & support the child equally, or should I say both must share the joys of being a parent!!!!!!!

nokubonga
07 Apr 2008 05:23

Preshie...Your story is similiar to my real sister and her name is Preshie as well. I wonder if you are not her!

technical queen
07 Apr 2008 05:24

hi guyz....i'm new on the blog...watss up....i can see u'r on the hottest topic. just wanna test up this thing & see if i do get you guyz....i need a boiling welcome...i think u guyz rock ne.....

Madamzee
07 Apr 2008 05:27

Dabs, dankie saan! mare bathong girls lets be realistic, if you were born BC (before christ) i would understand that having a child was a mistake. there are so many precautions we can take nowadays

I dont have a child. In rare circumstances where the condom is not used i Douche, Douche, Douche !!!!! like crazy with betadine Douche, it works. then take a morning after pill on top of that. I make sure that i dont become preggies!!!

In the case where the father of the child asked you to have a child with him, in a vat en sit situation, c'mon!!!!!!! Dah!!!! why on earth didn't he marry you first before having a child with you???????If he is "that" ready to have a child in his life.

I know my biological clock is busy catching up on me. but i can c that it is not good to have a child out of wedlock. If you need him to suffer, take u to gold reef, be there at night when the baby cries,like others stated, why on earth did you not wait to be in a stable relationship with him?what happend to commitment?


I will have a child out of wedlock, if i just want my blood to be the beneficiary of my estate, not to be with the father, a child doesn't create love. if the father stay's then its a bonus, if he doesnt, my baby & I will SURVIVE. it will hurt a little, but my child will not be some weapon to a father that didnt care enough about his/ her mother and him to stay!

Preshiii
07 Apr 2008 05:33

 Preshie...Your story is similiar to my real sister and her name is Preshie as well. I wonder if you are not her!

@ Nokubonga: Wouldn't you like to know???.....BWA HA HA HA HA (Evil laugh)

i need a boiling welcome....
LOLOLOLOL @ technical queen bathong! Hallo
Sisi!

Feza
07 Apr 2008 05:34

OK this is how i feel about Babymamas. We childless ladies didnt tell them to have kids out of wedlock and its not our fault that your man left you, We didnt call him, we didnt climb Kilimanjaro to call him. It was his choice, so do not make our lives miserable. 

My mother always used to say to me :ngwana ga se lenyalo, meaning having a child with a man does not guarantee that he will marry you. So babymama deal with it. 

In any case, i hope to never fall for a man who has a baby with another woman. I pray not to fall under that trap. Baby mamas go out of their way to be mean bitches. Even if you and your man love each other dearly, you have one huge problem for the rest of your lives: the baby mama and innocent child.

myname
07 Apr 2008 05:35

Hey TQueen Welcome Home darling & enjoy...............

myname
07 Apr 2008 05:45

uthini na Feza?

Nonny
07 Apr 2008 05:46

"Preshie...Your story is similiar to my real sister and her name is Preshie as well. I wonder if you are not her!"
So clearly, we've got some family in the house, now PM each other sisters to confirm ur relations..........LOL

@ Tqueen, I can remember that I have welcomed u once, but I'll do it again (((((((((((((WELCOME TO TVSA)))))))))))), now tell me why didn't u respond to the 101 messages I left in GB the day u were updating ur profile weeks ago???

Addictv
07 Apr 2008 05:48

@Nonny & Toxic....sometimes u cant accurately calculate financial responsibility & come up with 50/50.  

Da baby mama is providing more already, due to shelter, caring 4 da bambino daily and all da little nitty -gritty's of everyday life. so wen da babydaddy cant be there...atleast he shud make financial life a bit easier for da mother who is...financially he might end up spending more....bt babymama is spending more emotionally too.....oh and all those sleepless nites.

Feza
07 Apr 2008 05:53

Well said MadamZee. very well said. 
but my child will not be some weapon to a father that didnt care enough about his/ her mother and him to stay!

You can say that again...desperate babymamas should just get a live and a make over! Move on mense... create a healthy stable life for your offspring...

Of course the daddy should take responsibility and he MUST have a realtionship with his child, but dont use che baby as a tool to get him back. If he's with someone it shows he dont want  you and you should move on too.

Cnglemother
07 Apr 2008 05:55

@Nonny Umtana uzolidinga usiko laka baba one day,my worst fear at the moment and the way he gets so sick often makes me wonder (my beliefs mense) if not that usiko he needs. 

@parks cant you atleast try locate some of his relatives, contact his previous employers mabye - am just worried about the day your child start asking questions and not able to answer. Dont want to end up on Khumbulekhaya asking SABC to help.

Nonny
07 Apr 2008 05:57

"financially he might end up spending more....bt babymama is spending more emotionally too.....oh and all those sleepless nites."

I@ Addictiv - t's fine if baby daddy ends up spending more, but as long as it's not deliberate, coz it's sad to see the way SOME baby mama's go out of their way to make the man pay extra extra, just coz she is on some revenge trip!!!!!

Desired
07 Apr 2008 05:57

No woman is good enough to look after my angel.  In fact, I wish the sperm donor could dissapear into thin air and come back( If he really wants to) when she is 18yrs old.  

Angifuni kwasani yakhe, so I would never use my Angel to get his attention.

Porsch
07 Apr 2008 05:59

Hi ladies

its days like these when i sit back and learn from others, i believe in not experiencing all, in order for me to somehow understand.

some of you might not realize this now, but the knowldege that has been shared here today might change your life forever.  This is what i call empowerment and would like this opportunity to Thank all of you for sharing this, should i go through this in my life time i will not say i didnt know.

Nonny
07 Apr 2008 06:00

"@Nonny Umtana uzolidinga usiko laka baba one day,my worst fear at the moment and the way he gets so sick often makes me wonder (my beliefs mense) if not that usiko he needs." 

Yah man Cnglemom, u never know, maybe umtana just wants ukushunqiselwa impepho abikwe ukuze aziwe emadlozini, and u guys are busy exhausting ur medical aid ngezinto zabelungu, when all the child needs is usiko lika baba nje qha!!!!

teev
07 Apr 2008 06:01

hey Techy-Q welcome darling...........geniet

Cnglemother
07 Apr 2008 06:03

@Desired Angifuni kwasani yakhe, cha awumfuni impela sisi! 

Like Eddie Murphy said i wont be able to to see my daughter until she is old enough to understand coz i cannot be in the same room as the mother, the woman tricked me into getting her pregnant, she said she was on the pill - its 98% safe remember Eddie? .Yeah right what about condoms?

Nonny
07 Apr 2008 06:03

"This is what i call empowerment and would like this opportunity to Thank all of you for sharing this, should i go through this in my life time i will not say i didnt know."
Eish man Porsch, dankie sana, that's deep for a Monday afternoon, but we appreciate it!!!

Cnglemother
07 Apr 2008 06:07

True dat Porsch, dont say we did not warn u should you end being a dramatic babymama like me LOL! kunzima stru

Nonny
07 Apr 2008 06:08

"Like Eddie Murphy said i wont be able to to see my daughter until she is old enough to understand coz i cannot be in the same room as the mother, the woman tricked me into getting her pregnant, she said she was on the pill - its 98% safe remember Eddie? .Yeah right what about condoms?"

*mmmhh shaking my head, abafazi.........LOL*......neway Cnglemom, angithi Eddie didn't use icondom coz baby mama lied and said she was on the pill, and besides uyazi nawe simnandi iskoon........*Eish kodwa ngiyibekile indoda eqala nge alphabet yokugcina (kuyafiwe coz of iskoon)........LOL muyitholile* 

Miss K
07 Apr 2008 06:14

Cnglemom uyabona ukuba asisebenzi namhlanje ngexa yakho!!

Yhu suzzy82 undincedile ngesithuko esitsha!!

Desired
07 Apr 2008 06:20

@Desired Angifuni kwasani yakhe, cha awumfuni impela sisi!

Like Eddie Murphy said i wont be able to to see my daughter until she is old enough to understand coz i cannot be in the same room as the mother, the woman tricked me into getting her pregnant, she said she was on the pill - its 98% safe remember Eddie? .Yeah right what about condoms?

Eish, wish I could blame Archer Lime but can't do.  He did me wrong, not the pregnancy but afterwards.  I really loved him, the bastard.

Miss K
07 Apr 2008 06:23

Porsch ure right my dear. We shud all learn from this article. For me this article has re-affirmed why i chose not to have a baby out of wedlock! I do not wish to go thru what the babymamas are going thru and if im ever in another babymama drama situation i'll understand where she's coming from. Hopefuly if i do ever date a man with a child again, i hope the babymama is classy, strong and a fabulous bitch like the ladies here on TVSA! 

To all the single moms I salute!

Honeypot
07 Apr 2008 06:35

Say I'm brown nosing if you wanna,but Madazee and Feza, you telling like it is. Baby mamas should appreciate it if a guy loves the kid and supports the child financially, there are a lot of men who run away from their responsibility, think about that,

Dabs
07 Apr 2008 06:36

Ja me aswell, I salute you too Cmothers. You have a huge weight on your shoulders but you also have the greatest gift. 

C Motha, thank you for your blog, always a silent reader but today I had to say something.

Miss K
07 Apr 2008 06:45

@Dabs hopefully u won't go back to closet after this blog is all over???

Toxic
07 Apr 2008 06:51

oh and congrats Cnglemom on a successful blog *wink*

nokubonga
07 Apr 2008 06:58

@ Nonny.....So clearly, we've got some family in the house, now PM each other sisters to confirm ur relations..........LOL.

I
t could be true yaz...since we not using our real names here. So nawe you may find that your friends are here not being aware of it!

myname
07 Apr 2008 07:01

yha nam i think i should add. Ntombazana im proud of you & keep being a good, caring & luving mom. Believe me its hard to be single parent...............and its strue honeypot

Cnglemother
07 Apr 2008 07:11

Thank you guys for all your responses and to those who gave me their thumbs up, they are appreciated. Goodluck to all the women who their lives have been distorted by us the BM's its not always intentional peeps. My blog even created a family reunion for Bongs & Preshii LOL!. Suzzy82 you need to explain the insult on my GB so i can expand izithuko zam. Toxy & Nonny thanks for the persuasion even though i was very hesitant, i guess you never know until you try. 

Miss K go back to work now.

nokubonga
07 Apr 2008 07:15

My blog even created a family reunion for Bongs & Preshii

@ Cnglemother, silly you!

Dabs
07 Apr 2008 07:20

Miss K, I will try.

myname
07 Apr 2008 07:53

i think anekamagqenene means hanging amaRR if u know what i mean

Tshd21
07 Apr 2008 08:01

Thank you guys for educating a sista...

KeleFabulous
07 Apr 2008 08:17

BETTER LATE THAN NEVER...

i am a baby mama myself hehehe. must say i've had countless opportunities to play the victim and cause drama in my ex's relationship with whoever he was/is with now but my pride just won't let me. i did however, pay vengeance when we broke up in a teeny weeny way LOL but my baby was not involved in any way!

being a single mom is tough. i knew before i fell preggies that if i fall preggies it will be on my own, even thou we were together then, we weren't married...but no matter how tough it is, the example i set for my baby is more important than any drama/havoc i can cause in my ex's life. being a good mother is not just about mothering your child, it's also about how you live your life, your values/beliefs but most importantly YOUR ACTIONS. as much as i know i'd get more than enough satisfaction by doing all these baby mama drama thingies at the end of the day the sweet taste of revenge will pale in comparison to my baby one day being embarassed to learn mommy went to these extremes just cause she was bitter...and don't get me wrong...i am still bitter. even thou not as much as i was when we broke up. but that bast*rd gave me a gem and the purity of that little gem is rubbing off on this bitter heart and soon...i won't be so bitter no more.

Dabs
07 Apr 2008 08:30

AHHHHHHHH Kele, well said and that is trully agem. The way my son loves me is priceless. I am his hero, even though we are still together with his dad. The look on his eyes......... priceless. better than any sweet revenge could ever give me.

HARAMBE24
07 Apr 2008 09:14

CENGLEMOTHER: DARLING, TAKE THE WIG OFF AND REALX. chomi i feel your frastrations about being a single mother - i am planning to be a single parent next year, well out of choice. I neva had to deal with babymama issues but i have friends who just want to stab the babymama bitch with a blunt knife....i wish they could read your article and remove thier fake nail polish--i always say being a single parent is tough, but you better get on that high heel shoe and work it-- its just you and your baby- if the niger ass wants to paly daddy let him- but please dont trust that skinny girlfriend -she aint your sister, who knows whats she will feed you child.

mabhebheza
07 Apr 2008 10:15

Well done Cnglemother ur article rocked the day i see..eish it brings fear that i might b a singlemum coz ..umuntu uyachange never umconfirm! So one needs 2b prepared...alot has been said ....

i salute Single mothers *clapping my hands*

Kandi
07 Apr 2008 11:02

Nice One Cnglemother... Now remember to use that CONDOM next time, ok? he he ... But Im serious hey, please you guys lets stop this OUT_ OF _WED_LOCK babymaking it aint sexy and it aint pretty!!

Hi everyone, been a silent blogger until this topic came up... well done CngleMom

Macy
07 Apr 2008 23:03

Way to go Cnglema...

@honeypot-Baby mamas should appreciate it if a guy loves the kid and supports the child financially, there are a lot of men who run away from their responsibility, 

You couldn't have been more right dear but to those who ditch their own flesh & blood I HOPE THEY ROT IN H.... AFTER ALL we all reap what we sow...

but the sad thing is that the child will soon want to know who the papa is meanwhile he was never there for them & never even bothered to lift a finger or pop a penny to help with maintaining the baby, well this is even better.

What if the Papa shows up later in the baby's life & wants to take over from the BM...now that is one H.. of a dilemma! What do u do in that case?

KeleFabulous
08 Apr 2008 03:08

But Im serious hey, please you guys lets stop this OUT_ OF _WED_LOCK babymaking it aint sexy and it aint pretty!! 


what a way to make an entrance!

Nonny
08 Apr 2008 03:18

But Im serious hey, please you guys lets stop this OUT_ OF _WED_LOCK babymaking it aint sexy and it aint pretty!! 

Welcome to TVSA Kandi, and this is a grand entrance indeed but I've learnt to accept that u can stand op top of a mountain and scream this NO OUT OF WEDLOCK BABYMAKING theory, yet people will still fall pregnant. But then again, not everyone wants to marry and is destined to marry, so perhaps that theory should not deny them motherhood????

KeleFabulous
08 Apr 2008 03:48

thanks Nonny...most diplomatic answer. i was speechless and the only things that were coming to mind were not nice at all...LOL

Nonny
08 Apr 2008 03:53

LOL at Kele.........

Dabs
08 Apr 2008 03:53

how about not having sex before marraige. having a bay out of wedlock is not pretty to the world out there. We are not here to please the world but our God so the  fact that you don't have a baby out of wedlock does not make you better than the one who has. In God's eyes that is where it counts and to him you are both sinners. So people should get off their high horses looking down on people who have babies out of wedlock coz God is watching us all.

By the way had my baby in marraige but, I'm just as bad as those who had babies out of wedlock because I was having sex with my husband to be before we got married.

Just my two cents worth:
Moral of the story
NO SEX BEORE MARRAIGE!!!!!!!!!!!

Miss K
08 Apr 2008 03:58

I agree Nonny but if its your choice not to get married but u still want a baby thats all good but u must also take into consideration the consequences of going at it all alone.

Nonny
08 Apr 2008 04:00

As I said b4, sin or no sin *yeah yeah go ahead and quote the bible for me, I need it vele........LOL*.........ok as I was saying sin or no sin, not veryone is destined to marry and have kids, so does that mean no sex and hence no children for ever and ever Amen bazalwane?????

KeleFabulous
08 Apr 2008 04:04

*clap* *clap* *clap* whooooaaaaaa

well said Dabs!

Nonny
08 Apr 2008 04:05

Eish, I knew that anything that has to do with sex, marriage and babies is bound to drag in religion in2 the matter. But ke it's fine!!!!!

Dabs
08 Apr 2008 04:15

Nonny but what is wrong with religion. It just tells the truth and we don't want to hear it   coz it does not suit the sinful lifestyles we have acquired in the world. If a person can tell others not to have babies out of wedlock I can also say no sex before marraige. And I'm not saying that because it suits me but because it is the TRUTH!!!!!!

Don't get me wrong I'm not that religious but I would love to be like that and I think people who live by those principles are lucky.


Cnglemother
08 Apr 2008 04:19

No sex before marriage, it does not work for everyone and I guess we all live by different set of standards and not everyone's life is dictated by the Bible (dont like going this route).  Kandi welcome by the way, thanks for reminding me about the condom. They will always be stigma around out of wedlock children since its considered a sin having sex before marriage (scary how many sinners we have got) , I aint no bible expect.Bottom line everyone is entitled to their opinions.

Dabs
08 Apr 2008 04:19

A child is meant to have a father Nonny that is why you can't concieve a baby by yourself.

Cnglemother
08 Apr 2008 04:21

Eish Nonny & Kfab I am sure abefundisi are getting ready to attack, watch this space.

Best-Achiever
08 Apr 2008 04:25

ok as I was saying sin or no sin, not veryone is destined to marry and have kids, so does that mean no sex and hence no children for ever and ever Amen bazalwane?????

@Nonny   ..... If you are asking this based on what the bible says, well lithi NO SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE just like Dabs put it and like you said it, liyasho futhi ukuthi it is not all of us who are called into marriage .... so for people who live by the bible and are not calles for marriage it means they wont have sex forever and ever Amen Mzalwane ....LOL

Cnglemother
08 Apr 2008 04:32

Oh my gawd u should have seen the way i jumped after noticing BA's response, i thought u were going to hit us with a verse from the scriptures.

technical queen
08 Apr 2008 04:33

No sex b4 marriage...???? Ya guyz but it something some of us fail to do. what i can say is for us to practiz safe sex.....we'r not only thinking of pregnancy bt also of HIV&AIDS...and as for those who judge others with kids....come on!!! really now who are they to judge....okubi ukuthi tomorrow it's gonnna be them running around with 10 kids......

What i dislike is being involved with a married DOG....i mean really....if he doesn't care abt his wife why would he care about me. A male friend of mine is being hunted by a married woman.....he's asking me on what he shuld do. The woman is old enough to be his aunt. If i tell him not to have sex with this woman  considering the consequences afta......he tells me ukuthi phela yena ulambile-well that how it is.....

technical queen
08 Apr 2008 04:33

No sex b4 marriage...???? Ya guyz but it something some of us fail to do. what i can say is for us to practiz safe sex.....we'r not only thinking of pregnancy bt also of HIV&AIDS...and as for those who judge others with kids....come on!!! really now who are they to judge....okubi ukuthi tomorrow it's gonnna be them running around with 10 kids......

What i dislike is being involved with a married DOG....i mean really....if he doesn't care abt his wife why would he care about me. A male friend of mine is being hunted by a married woman.....he's asking me on what he shuld do. The woman is old enough to be his aunt. If i tell him not to have sex with this woman  considering the consequences afta......he tells me ukuthi phela yena ulambile-well that how it is.....

Best-Achiever
08 Apr 2008 04:44

Oh my gawd u should have seen the way i jumped after noticing BA's response, i thought u were going to hit us with a verse from the scriptures

@Cnglemother .....  LOL, there is no need for a verse for we all know what the Bible says about this, beside Nonny and Dabs have said it all...ngizoshumayela ngelinye ilanga ...LOL

myname
08 Apr 2008 04:45

nkosi yam God bless u guys

Nonny
08 Apr 2008 04:47

"Nonny but what is wrong with religion. It just tells the truth and we don't want to hear it coz it does not suit the sinful lifestyles we have acquired in the world."

@ Dabs - Nothing is wrong with religion, it's just that I am not a fan of religious debates coz obviously opinions will differ and then people will start quoting the bible and then I'll appear like the mhedeni I am, or rather I am not supposed to be.........LOL 

sponono
08 Apr 2008 04:47

Cnglemother said>>Oh my gawd u should have seen the way i jumped after noticing BA's response, i thought u were going to hit us with a verse from the scriptures>>


ROTFLOL  hi hi hi hi hi....yoh ........

myname
08 Apr 2008 05:01

LOL Cinglemum & BA. Ukulaxazile sana uBA

Pooky
08 Apr 2008 05:16

@ Dabs - Nothing is wrong with religion, it's just that I am not a fan of religious debates coz obviously opinions will differ and then people will start quoting the bible and then I'll appear like the mhedeni I am, or rather I am not supposed to be.........LOL 

LMAO @mhedenikazi....holla Nonns tl tl tl tl

mseu
08 Apr 2008 05:21

Bathong mara sometimes you just confusing how can you guys think that the BMs are trying to get back to your man. I'm a BM for your information since my child was 4 and now she is 12. I have never in a single day phoned or harrassed the father for any reason or unomuntu or not and not because I can afford everything in world I just don't see any reason to bother anyone my friends like to say ngine pride, not true.

The daddy only buys the kids winter clothes in winter and summer in summer on holidays he makes an arrangement to take them for a weekend nje like this weekend he took them on friday and brought them back on monday. they spent the weekend with him and the girlfriend do I have to ask for details hore what happened how the gillfriend was treating them no!!!!. and most people think I should claim for maintanence hell no. So guys please because you don't have kids now it doesn't mean that you will be like that for the rest of your life or if the father of my baby is with you now he will marry you when get pregnant u'r not sure.

So stop critising aboBM cause not all of them are after your man we didn't have kids because  sithi bazosishada or angeke sidivorce.

Cnglemother
08 Apr 2008 05:23

tru dat myname uBA ungilaxazile big tym, ngaphinda-phinda ngibhek'igama.yah Nonny ibhaybheli livele likushaye udideke uphelelwe liqiniso, once bathi bheka kuYohane 3 verse 7 khohlwa.  

Nonny
08 Apr 2008 05:39

"once bathi bheka kuYohane 3 verse 7 khohlwa."
LMOA @ Cnglemom, mngani uqinisile shem..........heheheh.........vele vele uthini lowo Yohane 3 verse 7 wkho?????, or was that just a hypethetical example........LOL

Pooky
08 Apr 2008 05:42

LOL@Cnglmom...and some people here(e.g. Andi01) are very good with quoting the bible....hayi sana bavele bakuxake uqondba uyazisola ukuba ubuthethelani ngoba once they start with the bible quotes than hayi bakugqibile mtshana....

Cnglemother
08 Apr 2008 05:46

@Nonny kanti awukho vele? it was just a hypethetical example. ibhayibheli linamaversi angaka besebehlulwa kukufaka leli versi lam abakwaMaskew Miller Publishers, lenziwe ngobani vele (publisher)?

Nonny
08 Apr 2008 05:51

Cnglemom.........LOL..no no plz ngicele siyishiye phansi lendaba ye bhayibheli, coz abazalwane will take us seriously mese baquoter(Ingrish) from the old testament all the way to the new one..........LOL

Dabs
08 Apr 2008 05:51

Dabs - Nothing is wrong with religion, it's just that I am not a fan of religious debates coz obviously opinions will differ and then people will start quoting the bible and then I'll appear like the mhedeni I am, or rather I am not supposed to be.........LOL (LOL)

@ Nonny, I'm ashamed to say this, but I am not far off from you. But what disturbed me were  the suttle judgements that were going on about BM's.  While you are busy humping a man and you are not married. It's just like the saying goes about the finger pointing while the three other fingers are pointing right back at you.

Dabs
08 Apr 2008 05:55

Nonny and CM (LOL)

Nonny
08 Apr 2008 06:17

"It's just like the saying goes about the finger pointing while the three other fingers are pointing right back at you."
@ Dabs, u you know I like you coz u are so honest and u are not going all holier than thou on us, u are just telling us the truth.........big ups sisi wami!!!!

Moniks
08 Apr 2008 06:42

Guys, not all BM's act the same way.. i have 2 beautiful kids.. i have known their father for 13 years.. he has other 6 kids with other girls. He doesnt do f*&* all for the kids. I had to drop of Tech to raise our first born and still standing and raising them on my own. I just had an abortion again in Feb.. i think this was a wake up call for me to leave him and move on..lucky me non of the other mothers ever came to harass me. and i never harassed them. But i think i also spoilt him, cause i never asked anything from him or his family.. his family only found out that we have kids a couple of weeks ago..i had too much pride to be one of his statistics but i still love him.. i feel used and betrayed because i kept quiet and didnt fight for what was mine.. he will leave me and come back and i will always welcome him with open arms,, but now enough is enough.. the is aids and other disease and i dont want to see my self there.

suzzy82
08 Apr 2008 06:58

@H24;but please dont trust that skinny girlfriend -she aint your sister, tl ..tl....tl...tl..LOL.......LOL.........LOL

Dabs
08 Apr 2008 07:16

Thanks Nonny I try my best to be honest and tell it like it is.

Nonny
08 Apr 2008 08:46

Moniks, gal if u could raise two kids on ur own, I am sure an addition wouldn't have been World War Three, I wish u didn't have that abortion coz every conceived child has the right to life, until God decides to take them. I am not judging u love, but surely u can't be doing the same mistake of falling pregnant for the 3rd time and then simply abort!!!!!

Tshd21
08 Apr 2008 08:52

You are judging Nonny.  And talk is cheap...you have never walked a day in Moniks' shoes...

Nonny
08 Apr 2008 08:54

Moniks, pls try to use protection *bearing in mind that we have this called HIV/AIDS as well*, if u are not willing to live with the consequences!!

Nonny
08 Apr 2008 08:58

@ Tshd21 - I ain't judging, just saying that if she could raise two, then surely another one will be managable!!!!

Tshd21
08 Apr 2008 09:03

Like I said, you have never walked a day in Moniks' shoes.....

Moniks
08 Apr 2008 09:11

Nonny... u have no idea how expensive kids are.. i have given up so much in life for the sake of my kids. I love them dearly and i didnt want them to suffer. My parents would have been so disappointed with me and i couldnt live with that.i know what i did was wrong and i pray to God everyday to forgive me and take care of my baby for me. Blive me it was not easy i cried myself to sleep every nite.. wondering how it could have been.But you know what im a superwoman and i wont let anything or anyone get me down. bearing in mind that we have this called HIV/AIDS as well. about this statement i go for testing evry now and then. But like i said ealier... i have learned the hard way... if my boyfriend loved me and my kids he should have married me by now.. and stop having other kids with other people.. But u know what from now on.. dis is where it has to stop he is putting my life in danger and im not going to allow him... for my kids sake..

sponono
08 Apr 2008 09:38

Nonny..i'm sorry mntakama u r being judgemental about the abortion thing .....i do understand the point about being resposnible for your actions.....and I think that should apply to evrything else..whether YOU think its wright or wrong..each indivisual is responsible....so if I decide to keep/or NOt keep the child is an isue between me, God and my conscience...yes as a society we will debate and argue about "some" issues while we turn a blind eye to others....but its only the indivisual who knows what they feel and want for their lives...we can only suggest..ways to prevent certain events from re-occuring....

having said that...MANTOMBAZANE YEKaNI UKUMITHA IS'NOMIKANJANI.....Love is NOT evrything inspite of what your favourite song tells you 

the way i see it The first child out of wedlock is a (sometimes planned-for iqolo) mistake...the second one is gullability or stupidity  the third one is desperation or surrendering to being UMAMA..nje!!!  afta that well its another story for another day.......

Toxic
08 Apr 2008 09:51

The first child out of wedlock is a (sometimes planned-for iqolo) mistake...the second one is gullability or stupidity the third one is desperation or surrendering to being UMAMA..nje!!! afta that well its another story for another day.......

LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!

Vutmi
08 Apr 2008 10:14

Wow this night-blogging is not doing me any justice...I missed out on a great article again!. Nway here's my two cents worth....

Once dated a guy, and the relationship was sizzling hot (I am talking super shags here!)...one day while we were cozed-up at his place, a knock came through and when he opened the door...yep...you guessed right a bundle of joy was planted firmly by the door with a note! 'take care of your baby you self-centered son of a ****(Out of respect to his mama i wont repear what she wrote)
I am talking about a three months old baby here...she didnt even leave milk or diapers and it was after 8 at night. We went to get formula(whatever tin with a baby pic on it) for him and some nappies. When we got back...I packed my stuff, wished him(babydaddy) luck and got the hell out of there! I never saw him since.

I can't deal with baby drams..except my own...whenever i get one...

mabhebheza
08 Apr 2008 12:35

LOl @Vutmi..u ran as far as ur legs can take u shuu..wazinceda gal run..run run!!

Vutmi
08 Apr 2008 12:40

i had too mabhe...first thing first small babies scare the living daylight out of me...and i didnt know he had a baby....i had ervry reason to run!!!!!!

mabhebheza
08 Apr 2008 12:48

Poor guy ,,,no baby mama no cheerie..damn !! Yep dear and u mus  keep on running jus like Bouga does the marathon..!! do it faster than the Gautrain

Nonny
08 Apr 2008 23:47

"Nonny... u have no idea how expensive kids are.. i have given up so much in life for the sake of my kids. I love them dearly and i didnt want them to suffer. My parents would have been so disappointed with me and i couldnt live with that.i know what i did was wrong and i pray to God everyday to forgive me and take care of my baby for me. Blive me it was not easy i cried myself to sleep every nite.. wondering how it could have been."

@ Moniks, ok gal, I am sorry for "judging" for choosing to abort ur third child, gal after reading ur essay, u seem like u had ur reosonable reasons to abort.

Moniks
09 Apr 2008 00:35

Lol @ Vutmi... Nonny no offence taken our beliefs are not same, life its a bloody challenge.. and silingeka in so many ways. Morning Yall.!

KeleFabulous
09 Apr 2008 00:50

Abortion is certainly better than bringing all those childeren into this world and have them suffer cos their moms/dads can't afford or don't care. Knowing how one child is so costly i cannot imagine how you survive on your own wit two, @ Moniks

Nonny
09 Apr 2008 00:54

Morning Moniks!!!!

nokubonga
09 Apr 2008 00:56

Abortion is certainly better than bringing all those childeren into this world and have them suffer cos their moms/dads can't afford or don't care. Knowing how one child is so costly i cannot imagine how you survive on your own wit two, @ Moniks


Amen to that!

Moniks
09 Apr 2008 01:11

@ Kelefab.. girl u have no idea.. they are both at creche.. they need to be fed and clothe and mina ke i want my kids to always look perfect.. i dont  want people to look at me and think hoo shame ugezile muhle but abatwana bakhe baqole! So i always maintain that fabulous standard,i work and live for them.. its not that hard to raise them.. they are so cute and adorable they the reason i am who i am today..

Dabs
09 Apr 2008 01:15

I can't imagine myself with two kids, HELL NO!!!!!!! Imagine a 3rd one. I just have to make sure that the contraception I use is 100 %.

Dabs
09 Apr 2008 01:18

moniks, i am proud of you.

monchooza
09 Apr 2008 01:19

Interesting.............

mseu
09 Apr 2008 01:20

Moniks, gal if u could raise two kids on ur own, I am sure an addition wouldn't have been World War Three, I wish u didn't have that abortion coz every conceived child has the right to life, until God decides to take them. I am not judging u love, but surely u can't be doing the same mistake of falling pregnant for the 3rd time and then simply abort!!!!!

Nonny bathong you know wena sometimes I think you just right before thinking I mean really how can you say this to someone after she explained her situation and wena you don't even know what her reasons are for doing it kanti exactly what kind of a person are???????????  Kodwa akuhluphi umfazi nawe usazobona

Best-Achiever
09 Apr 2008 01:30

Abortion is certainly better than bringing all those childeren into this world and have them suffer cos their moms/dads can't afford or don't care. Knowing how one child is so costly i cannot imagine how you survive on your own wit two,

@Kele ..... im not starting an argument with anyone but like anyone else i believe im antitled to my opinion and beliefs

For me protection is way better than anything else if you cant abstain, for we all know what happens when we do the did without protection so if you cant stay without doing it rather protect yourself than keeping someone from living their lives. if it happens that you concieve carelessly rather take that soul to the nearest orphanage centre .... nevetherless ayikho indlovu eyasindwa wumboko wayo (anyone please help with your english .... me is clueless ... LOL).

Ngqesta
09 Apr 2008 01:31

@Vutmi.......(laughing out so loud) eish uyimboza yam sisi ngekhe......and you still wished him luck! 

Dabs
09 Apr 2008 01:35

Best Achiever konje how many Kids do you have!???

Best-Achiever
09 Apr 2008 01:39

@Dabs ...9  ...LOL

myname
09 Apr 2008 01:41

@Moniks Take care of those little cute things & luk after youself my luv. And CM i heard there will be a load shedding today from 10-2 so be4 Akon (Eskom) aqale ukundihlanyisa, nibe bahle & plz behave. Myname luvs u nhe

Best-Achiever
09 Apr 2008 01:45

@Dabs .... I dont have a child ...but i have all the resources to have one  .... LOL But i cant because i know it is so difficult to maintain a child's well being, have seen it from my parents, friends and neighbourhood and it is the experience i choose to experience from a distance!

Moniks
09 Apr 2008 01:51

@ Mseu.. like i said ealier evryone has their own beliefs and if u Nonny was in my situation.. maybe she wouldnt  have had an abortion and thats her choice.. Yes she didnt know my reasons and now she does and she did apologise and i accepted. @ Best Archiver.. I hear you girl Protection and abstainence is the way to go.. i know i was stupid to have slept with that man without one.. but u know like H24 said in that other article there is  that stupid organ in you the HEART, it will lead you astray if you let it. I know i had other choice, 1 being give it up for adorption... but having a baby its not only giving birth to it.. its the nine months of check ups and sickness and a change of wardrobe, imali ukuba pregnant on its own and i really didnt have  the budget for that. and besides i had my other 2 kids nge caesor which means the next and last one i should have had another caesor. cause u only allowed to have 3 kids nge caesor.. blive me i really  thought hard before going thru with what i did.

Miss K
09 Apr 2008 01:53

and it is the experience i choose to experience from a distance!...Thank u BA, its a choice people, if u make the choice deal with the consequences.

Miss K
09 Apr 2008 01:55

And i'm not perfect and im not Miss good 2 shoes, i've made some bad choices and to this day i'm still dealing with the consequences for some of them. I just refuse to excuse and justify irresponsible behaivor!

Dabs
09 Apr 2008 01:59

I wish I was like you best_achiiever. I am a sucker for babies. I wish I could have more and more. I love babies!! Those things are just beautiful.

Best-Achiever
09 Apr 2008 02:25

I wish I was like you best_achiiever. I am a sucker for babies. I wish I could have more and more. I love babies!! Those things are just beautiful.

@Dabs .... im not the sucker for babies only a cker for teddies ..LOL, was just fooling around.

KeleFabulous
09 Apr 2008 02:26

BA i would think it was a given that ofcourse prevention comes first, before abortion. just didn't think i'd have to spell it out to everyone as i thought everyone has the intelligence to think for themselves in that manner. but in the case of having gotten in that situation then ofcourse prevention no longer applies...

this topic is going in a direction i do not want to follow. wonderful first article Cnglemom. i'm out!

Best-Achiever
09 Apr 2008 02:56

There is always adoption when prevention no longer applies ... at least this is what i consider to be better than you know what.

But ke we all have freedom of choice.

zolx
09 Apr 2008 03:06

I think someone needs to open up another blog as we're starting to discuss something different here, titled or along the lines of "Choices, To Abort, keep or Give up for Adoption". We'll still disagree nangoko cos people are different, and so think differently. Just imagine how boring it would be if we were all the same or did the same thing. At least now we have the fun to judge and criticise each other and think we're better that the person next to us.

Zee Babes!
09 Apr 2008 03:24

@Zolx - I think someone needs to open up another blog as we're starting to discuss something different here, titled or along the lines of "Choices, To Abort, keep or Give up for Adoption". 

Maybe you can do it Zol cos a thot is as as good as the action...go ahead ke start it - I also want it...I missed so much drama y/day abt...to abort or not to abort. 

I was looking at all the replies....mantombazane - plz think b 4 you take down your andies - its dat simple.

Lex
09 Apr 2008 03:46

@ Kele Abortion is certainly better than bringing all those childeren into this world and have them suffer cos their moms/dads can't afford or don't care. I definitely agree with you.But we should also remember that it is the mother's choice to do it or not.And after doing it,they shouldn't go again using it a a birth control method.

@ Moniks bearing in mind that we have this called HIV/AIDS as well. about this statement i go for testing evry now and then. My dear Moniks please remember that going for tests frequently does not barricade the disease from entering your body.I've heard people using that statement as if its an AIDS preventing method.

zolx
09 Apr 2008 03:48

mantombazane - plz think b 4 you take down your andies - its dat simple.
That's always easier said than done Zee Babes ...dont you think???

sponono
09 Apr 2008 03:52

I personaly think we should stay clear from topics that are protected by our constitution...and topics that when discussed might infringe on our indivisual rights and choices....thats all.......and this is an age old topic...disected and diced a gazillion times before it was protected

now bible-thumpers get off my case....its just my opinion

KeleFabulous
09 Apr 2008 03:59

There is always adoption when prevention no longer applies ... at least this is what i consider to be better than you know what

what country are you living in, babes? because the one i live in has babies waiting their whole lives to be adopted and no one does. there is no shortage of babies to adopt. there's plenty. but where are the people to take them in? i would think you'd know this seeing as you're so clued up!

whoever said this needs a diff blog was right...don't know why i came back here...

Zee Babes!
09 Apr 2008 04:15

@Zolx - That's always easier said than done Zee Babes ...dont you think??? remind me love, what is it dats not easy - plz babes, its called responsibility - otherwise every individual dat is engaging in any sexual activities will be crying foul... they dont cause they think first - by the way its the same mentallity dat makes some of us end up @ Marie Stopes (sp) door.

Nonny
09 Apr 2008 04:26

Interesting opinions indeed!!!!

Best-Achiever
09 Apr 2008 04:31

what country are you living in, babes? because the one i live in has babies waiting their whole lives to be adopted and no one does. there is no shortage of babies to adopt. there's plenty. but where are the people to take them in? i would think you'd know this seeing as you're so clued up!

Im living in my beautiful South Africa .... where we have orphanage homes devoted to the care of children whose parents are deceased or otherwise unable to care of them. Atleast those kids are taken care of if they are not adopted. And atleast for them they do live their lives, even if they end up not finding people to adopt them BUT they do live their lives to the best that is provided to them. 

zolx
09 Apr 2008 04:40

@ Zee Babes -remind me love, what is it dats not easy - plz babes, its called 
responsibility
Its not everyone who thinks with their minds and not their privates (nunus & ncancas) when hormones are also doing their thinking. yOu might also be thinking of taking a morning after pill when in the act if a condom isnt there (if you completely trust ur partner...but that's another topic for another day). But what i'm trying to say here is we all make mistakes and we're human after all but how we DEAL OR HANDLE those mistakes is a different story altogether and personal - it doesnt have to be okay with the other person.

Zee Babes!
09 Apr 2008 04:52

@Zolx - I rest my case couse there is nothing you can say to a person who think with her nunu and think dat you can knock some sense into her head.

Fine let `em think with their nunus - I think with my head/mind so me and them are on different leagues.

I get your point love.

Sugarcandy
09 Apr 2008 05:22

Okay guys from reading all your responses i feel that you will be able to give me good advice.

Here is my situation Im not married (but in a loving relationship) and very independent lady, working and educated wara wara wara and I feel that would like to have a baby now. Do you think i am being unfair and selfish.

Believe me Ive looked at all the aspects of having a baby and I have good support system at home and not too bad either financially.

My BF has mentioned that he would like to have one too but I didnt entertain the matter becoz i told him that I wouldnt even consider having one out of wedlock...Guys please advice, i adore babies and I feel ready.

mseu
09 Apr 2008 06:40

Sugarcandy, I don't see anything wrong mina with somebody having a baby especially now that you say you are financially stable and your bf is also ready though my advice will be don't do it for him do it for yourself you know how man are, he might change after sometime. JUST DO FOR YOURSELF NOT SOMEONE ELSE.

Lex
09 Apr 2008 07:06

JUST DO FOR YOURSELF NOT SOMEONE ELSE. - Mseu,u took the words right out of my mouth.

Sugarcandy
09 Apr 2008 07:27

@ Mseu and Lex
Thanks a lot, he's under the impression that I dont want any at the moment and the thing is Ive thought about this 101% thoroughly and I know that I want this baby for me....

myname
09 Apr 2008 07:43

Im back after 5 hrs load shedding. Guys you can talk do u know that!!!!!

Nonny
09 Apr 2008 07:48

@ Sugarcandy, I also say go for it, coz as I said izolo, I don't think that u should be denied the right to being a mod or dad just because u are not married. Coz certainly not everybody is destined to be married!!!! U seem to have all ur ducks in a row, so goodluck!!!!

Nonny
09 Apr 2008 07:50

I meant a mom not mod.........*dunno why I said mod, perhaps I miss my replies being deleted by "moderators"........LOL.......jus kidding!!!*

Macy
09 Apr 2008 23:39

Hi there Sugarcandy: You ought to think about this very carefully as I'm a BM myself & was fooled into thinkin that the babydaddy will always stick by deur dik & dun. I'm not neccessarily sayin your man'll leave you but if you seriously considering havin a baby out of wedlock, you must just be prepared for anything that might happen after bearing the child I mean afterall it's not easy raising a baby on your own no matter how financially stable you may be. 
A baby will need  love and emotional support from both parents and so will you. 

If you had to break up with your babydaddy on a bad note, You wil be forced to an idefinite relationship with him because you will be parenting a human being together which is a lifetime commitment. The Babydaddy will always be in your life at some point or the other  if not on a full time basis whether you like it or not.

So once again THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU'RE LETTING YOURSELF IN FOR!!!!!!!! 

billyb
17 Mar 2009 10:14

ncesini fellow bloggers i just happened to be browsing thru and found this.i really don't mean to bring this topic up again mara i am MAD!!! so i am just venting nje..
baby mama WTF!?!? how can you just dump your child like that, wernt you the one who said you dont trust me with your child and now you go do this. ayi phela sisi this is not how you do it. if you are upset that he didn't like it enuf to put a ring on it  and instead put the ring on me then dont use your child as wepon. 
i know wat its like being a single mother, been there, done that, i have the scars to prove it but cha,cha,cha,cha wena you are on another level phela. i understand wat you are trying to do but like this.please sheme sisi ngiyakhucela kutsi you cease and desist otherwise you will know me now uyangithola noma you are just too far gone to hear anything? I have been a lady about this so far but now you are asking me to take my earrings off....

TheLady
17 Mar 2009 11:50

billyb is mad...tell her girlfriend...mnike

Best-Achiever
17 Mar 2009 12:00

lol..TheLady you are bad

billyb
17 Mar 2009 12:03

if i disappear know i love you all;-)

TheLady
17 Mar 2009 12:05

We  love you too billyb...take of your earrings now...

sjura
17 Mar 2009 12:06

haibo billyb is the babymama also blocker? ukhuluma okungathi she's ryt here..

Cande
17 Mar 2009 12:11

yes man billyb, is she a blocker??

billyb
17 Mar 2009 12:12

@sjura.. i was told kutsi she is mara i dont know who what or why.

@TheLady..they are off, looking for the vaseline now

TheLady
17 Mar 2009 12:15

We are getting somewhere now billyb..now I need a front row seat...or while we are at it...where did all this start?

belz
17 Mar 2009 12:15

LOL!!

awelani
17 Mar 2009 12:19

LMAO

Cande
17 Mar 2009 12:19

let me go read the replies again and see if i cant link someone with billyb

billyb
17 Mar 2009 12:23

once upon a time, in a land far far away....so the man was mine, she jumps him and falls pregnant hoping to get ring. no such luck because i am a devil in prada n the bedroom. i got ring, she is so angry because she told him that i am a slut ( i call it expireince) he didnt care and married me anyway. now she is stuck with a child she didnt really want and an empty finger basically

Pooky
17 Mar 2009 12:25

interesting

belz
17 Mar 2009 12:25

LOL!!!

Renegade
17 Mar 2009 12:28

Lol, one would hope she's talking to a blogger, otherwise it's pointless...hihi

Pooky
17 Mar 2009 12:29

LOL at billy's once apon a time

awelani
17 Mar 2009 12:29

once upon a time, in a land far far away..this lione reminds me of Shrek 2, LMAO

we listening BillyB, keep tokin galfrend, keep tokin :)

dali
17 Mar 2009 12:37

go billy! go billy!

Renegade
17 Mar 2009 12:38

Oh, to be a woman!

billyb
17 Mar 2009 12:42

i agree it wud be pointless if she doesn't see this. wen i asked WTF she said lets share and share alike.. was i there wen you were f@#king ma man??? hello?? anybody there? clearly not otherwise you wud have moved on after got the restraining order.

BigMama
17 Mar 2009 12:47

hehehehe.....billyb........she never fucked your man, they both fucked each other and enjoyed it, that is why they reproduced. Why don´t you just face her and tell her how you feel instead of venting on TVSA. Just call the bitchy and bitchy slap her if you can.......

TheLady
17 Mar 2009 12:47

Mabloggers...anyone with a restraining order against them? Come now billyb is spitting fire...

sjura
17 Mar 2009 12:49

billyb i think i know who u talking to...

billyb
17 Mar 2009 12:52

@ BigMama..don't you think i have. i am getting ready to call forgive and forget in preparation for things to come.
i need a smoke excuse me a minute...TBC

Pooky
17 Mar 2009 12:54

utsho Sjura??.....

Toxic
17 Mar 2009 12:57

ngiyakhucela kutsi you cease and desist 

wakakakkakkakakakak!!!!! reminds me of the Thembi part in the Boom Shaka song. The one line no one can ever get right....

Cande
17 Mar 2009 12:59

who Sjura???

BigMama
17 Mar 2009 13:00

@sjura..........do tell.......otherwise billyb will pop a blood vessel..........

Vesa
17 Mar 2009 13:01

once upon a time, in a land far far away..this lione reminds me of Shrek 2, LMAO

King of Faraway Land! lol

myname
17 Mar 2009 13:03

Oh, to be a woman!...I feel u Rene

Renegade
17 Mar 2009 13:04

Hai, never a dull day in TVSA

ms.tebby
17 Mar 2009 13:09

Oh, to be a woman!...I feel u Rene>>>> still on that, Khanyi Mbau spends R20,000 on hair every month????????????? , hayi hayi! !!!!!!!

tl tl tl tl tl...@ once upon a time

Renegade
17 Mar 2009 13:09

Never, ever, ever, will you see two men at loggerheards over a woman like this. Mina sometimes I really wish I was a man, they have such less *bleep!* to worry about.

billyb
17 Mar 2009 13:17

i was inspired so i called her under the auspices of 'woman to woman' and we are meeting later. in all sincerity thank you for your knid remarks and may the best bitch win. 

TerryN
17 Mar 2009 13:17

Mina sometimes I really wish I was a man, they have such less *bleep!* to worry about.

That makes the two of us Renegade

BigMama
17 Mar 2009 13:19

@Renegade.........True, its not like the other woman forces/d the man to sleep with her, l can bet the man proposed to the lady and even if it is the other way round, the man saw it as a right thing to bonk the other woman and impregnant her. And to tell the truth, for the other woman to not get the ring its not that she is an ocean or a deep freezer, it is because the man felt more connected to billyb than with the other woman.
And if the other lady thought she will get married by having a baby, l feel pity for her, l just hope she has learnt her lesson.

BigMama
17 Mar 2009 13:24

billy.......l hope you will be very wise, regarding to this matter dear, and be carefully in taking off your earings, because she might do the same and even take off her shoes, you will be even more embarrassed to come and tell us what happened in that meeting.

belz
17 Mar 2009 13:30

LOL!

billyb
17 Mar 2009 13:41

Bigmama..thank you very much for worrying about me, but i am not going alone..man is coming with.  i told kutsi this is not my battle to fight cum along and sort this out. the poor child doesn't know whther it's coming or going. 
it's funny how i hv poured my heart out to complete strangers and got much more better advice than from those close to me. thanks bloggers.

Cande
17 Mar 2009 13:48

LMAO!!! who is the culprit guys????

Ngqesta
17 Mar 2009 14:02

Eish this topic used to get me so HOT UNDER THE COLLAR unti lthe she-bitch dug her own grave and got in it...saving me such drama in the process...and where was I through out the process...standing aside...smiling, nodding in approval and telling (on the inside) her how much I LOVE her :-) Eish mablockers.....mara females are lovely creatures.

sjura
17 Mar 2009 14:03

billyb did u get my PM? do as I have instructed or ul luz that ring on ur finger....

Cande
17 Mar 2009 14:09

Sjura???? LOL!!!! please drop hints bathong hleng

sjura
17 Mar 2009 14:15

lol Cande u curious, the blocker is one of the starrings

Renegade
17 Mar 2009 14:21

Lol@ the strarrings...

TheLady
17 Mar 2009 14:21

hehehe-I love drama...well not in my life..Can I come along too?

Vesa
17 Mar 2009 14:24

lol Cande u curious, the blocker is one of the starrings....he he! Now u getting us all curious????

Pooky
17 Mar 2009 14:32

hehehe....sjura sudika sfunukwazi gal lol...ndizokuthengel uKentucky ke

sjura
17 Mar 2009 15:26

hai wena Pooky i cnt name the person uzohlazeka shame umtana wabantu...ndithe sis starring kaloku i cnt do that to her uzoluza i position yakhe.

Pooky
17 Mar 2009 15:32

eish sjura..okay ke ndiya understanda, but you can always pm me......okay okay ndiyekile ke  lol

Toxic
17 Mar 2009 15:38

sjura, i'm facing the same challenges yazi. Can u hook me up with the SAME advise you gave to billyb tu?

sjura
17 Mar 2009 15:38

u curious shame Pooky ndikuncamile il tell u after the meeting billyb is gona have with her evha, coz ndizomhleka if uyaluza ngoba she always wins her arguments apha...and if she looses the man then she'll also have to be demoted kaloku so i can get her sicoco...lol!!!!

Pooky
17 Mar 2009 15:43

okay ke i'll be impatiently waiting  ke sjura LOL

sjura
17 Mar 2009 15:46

who's harrassing u Toxic?

TheLady
17 Mar 2009 15:49

sjura please pass it to me...it might comein handy one day...

billyb
17 Mar 2009 15:50

sjura..i didn't get it, please resend.

belz
17 Mar 2009 15:51

LOL!!! @ starring. so billyb you are going to tell this starring blocker to stay away from your man basically?

Toxic
17 Mar 2009 15:58

EISH SJURA, I CANT NAME NAME......Kodwa it's someone i know.

cleve
17 Mar 2009 16:04

Tjo!!!!!!!!!!!

billyb
17 Mar 2009 16:07

i ain't fighting for man,my beef is the child, sheme the poor thing is lost. if she wants the man she must TRY and get him, ngoba there is nothing i can do to stop that. they are both adults.

sjura
17 Mar 2009 16:12

haibo Tox is it a blocker nakuwe? plz PM me..

Pooky
17 Mar 2009 16:15

haibo Tox is it a blocker nakuwe? plz PM me..

Look who's curious now LOL

BigMama
17 Mar 2009 16:22

@billyb...............If l were you and had all the time in my hands, l wouldn´t give her the child. l would make sure l take good care of her or him, go shopping, take him to McD (we all know that kids adore McD), make sure l dress her to the best. believe you me, she will come running to get the child and l will make it a point that she calls me mum. But its a pity because there are very few housewifes nowadays, all woman are at work chasing their dreams.

Pritt
17 Mar 2009 16:29

Kuyashisa e  TVSA...

sjura
17 Mar 2009 16:30

hay kaloku Puks uthi she cnt name name so ke we have to take it to the other side wabona mos? au curiousi ntombazana aukwazi nozibamba...lol!

Toxic
17 Mar 2009 16:30

No sjura, it's not a blocker. Wena njena gooi me the advise pls cause i dont know how to deal with it.

sjura
17 Mar 2009 16:33

oksalayo Bigmama ekgqibeleni ayingowakho noba angafane athi mama kuwe.. uyaube uyazbhanxa qha wena plus u l be hurting the poor child kuyo yonke lo proces of trying to make the mum jelas sisi.

billyb
17 Mar 2009 16:35

@BigMama..which is exactly wat i am gonna do. lukily i only in the office 3 days  aweek so tomorrow we are going out to paint mzansi red.

green
17 Mar 2009 16:47

@ nonny "We baba ka Sli, I just want u to know that I did not make this baby alone and she is very sick and she needs to be taken to the hosipital right now so plz come over manje" very funny! i think SOME babymammas really make a habit of using their kids as weapons...the kids only get sick when she knows that babydaddy is with his girlfriend...ukusa!

green
17 Mar 2009 16:58

i feel for u madamzee. but i feel that your man shouldn't have let her babymama have her way. so does it mean that once the child is old enough you two will get back together and get on with your lives?

sjura
17 Mar 2009 16:58

ukusa oku ukuthethayo Green

green
17 Mar 2009 17:03

what have i said now sjura?

sjura
17 Mar 2009 17:07

xa umtana egula zube egula not using him/her as a weapon to get the attention of the daddy..

billyb
17 Mar 2009 17:17

@ sjura.. i agree.it seems so obvious to most mature people but ke som others just don't understand kutsi they are just pushing the guy further and further away. we have all done something to try and get a man's attention. tjo the things i did lol

DJ Why why
17 Mar 2009 17:29

DJ Why why
17 Mar 2009 17:31

tjo the things i did lol

What did u do @ BB?? and why? did u wnat "atte" coz u still wanted "baby daddy" or were were you messing new GF's plans??


Onna
17 Mar 2009 18:09

Hehe....never a dull moment kwa-TVSA!!!!!!LOL. Now BillyB we want feedback since usisukelile and told us so tomorrow sfunukwazi!!!

BigMama
18 Mar 2009 12:09

@sjura..........if you come and dump your baby with me, do you really expect me to follow you around and ask you to take your baby with you. Hell no, sjura l will never do that, you have to bare in mind that the child is not yours alone, my partner has a role in that childs life too, so l will make every effort to score hundred extra points with my man. And for sure l know the child will never be my blood, but l will never let him call me by my name, and he can´t call me stepmother, so he must call me mum.

Ngqesta
18 Mar 2009 12:20

LOL LOL LOL @ BigMama.....Sjura (I take you are representing BabyMamas by the sound of it LOL LOL)...I always tell this other BabyMama friend of mine that when you drop off the child at Babydaddy and his current girlfriend's place....you need to swallow the bitter pill that YOU HAVE NO SAY with regards to what goes on in their house....just as long as your child is safe and taken care of, which is what you should be concerned about really. Whether or not the child calls the current gf Mum or Dad's lover...it really is NONE of your business...or else don't drop the child off at their place period...which unfortunately you cannot do either cause the daddy (and his partner) are just as much a part of the child's life.

Back to your point about kids being used as weapons.....IT DOES HAPPEN....perhaps not all the time...but for you to say ...'xa umtana egula zube egula not using him/her as a weapon to get the attention of the daddy..'  this statement is not entirely true...I hope at least you can be objective enough to see that one.

billyb
18 Mar 2009 12:21

BREAKING NEWS
She attacked me but i gave as good as i got. the man grabbed her and threw her on the floor, thts wen security came to break it up. now i am at a loss, i truly dont know ke wat to do.

TheLady
18 Mar 2009 12:28

Oh..did the place have security cams billyb? I need the footage...

awelani
18 Mar 2009 12:28

yhoooooo BB, when, what happened??

dali
18 Mar 2009 12:30

LMAO............. sho ja breaking news indeed!

awelani
18 Mar 2009 12:30

LOL @ TL,, I also need the footage,,

Pooky
18 Mar 2009 12:35

hectic stuff BillyB.......TVSA sopies

billyb
18 Mar 2009 12:37

so we are sitting at the restaurant talking then she didnt agree with terms and conditions and suddenly screams 'you took my man, you bitch,' i said hold up you shagged him wen you knew he was engaged. she jumped the table and slapped me. i gave back, and then my brand new hair was on the floor lol. the man grabbed her and threw her on the floor.
i also want to see the footage, i was not wearing matching undawares.

Pooky
18 Mar 2009 12:39

and then my brand new hair was on the floor lol.

CTFU....

dali
18 Mar 2009 12:40

then my brand new hair was on the floor............................ROTFLMSAO

Toxic
18 Mar 2009 12:44

i gave back, and then my brand new hair was on the floor lol. the man grabbed her and threw her on the floor.
i also want to see the footage, i was not wearing matching undawares.

LOKL!!!

sjura
18 Mar 2009 12:46

nithetha ngantoni Bigmama no Ngqesta?

awelani
18 Mar 2009 12:46

and then my brand new hair was on the floor lol. ROTFLMBVAO,,hi hi hi hi hi

i was not wearing matching undawares..she also took off your clothes??? it was hectic mos,,LMAO



sjura
18 Mar 2009 12:49

lol billyb

billyb
18 Mar 2009 12:52

@awelani.. ayi phela we fell on the floor and up went my skirt. and i was dressed to kill..
luckily there was no i knew there otherwise yho it would be all over now.

awelani
18 Mar 2009 12:56

LMAO,,BB, the imagery is killing me,espcially the hair on the floor,, did u try to cover your natural hair or were u wearing a panty-hose?? OMW, kwakwakwakwakwakwakwa

BTW, where was the kid while ol this was happening??

Molilo
18 Mar 2009 13:01

Drama indeed, thnx BB for the feedback

billyb
18 Mar 2009 13:02

@ awelani of course i tried to cover my head ( needed a retouch badly), thts how she managed to scratch my arm.
kid was at my place. 
it reminded me of wwe, while it was happening i was thinking daaaanngg this woman shud be on that show.

belz
18 Mar 2009 13:02

LMAO!!! Ngqesta
kwakwakwakwakwa billyb!!! ngusjura wonke lona ne advice yakhe, uphi usjura??? LOL!!! billy b, who picked up the hair, LMAO!!!!!

awelani
18 Mar 2009 13:04

it reminded me of wwe, while it was happening i was thinking daaaanngg this woman shud be on that show,,,LMAO, so who was moered the most??

KeleFabulous
18 Mar 2009 13:04

ao billyb i say forget the biatch and be the best stepmom you can to the innocent little bambino. should you happen to fall in love with him/her as you would your own flesh and blood then all the better. i'm not saying this is what should happen.
really, sometimes it's just better to live and let live. tswaa mo ena and concentrate on making your relationship with your man even stronger cos if you involve yourself in this further soon your man will be singing haayi these women are driving me crazy instead of my ex is driving me crazy

GOOD LUCK!!!

awelani
18 Mar 2009 13:07

good advice Kele.

Pooky
18 Mar 2009 13:07

billy b, who picked up the hair, LMAO!!!!!

LMAO haibo belz ahahahahahh

billyb
18 Mar 2009 13:07

eish, me i was trying to be a lady. security gave me my hair coz vele they could see sheme this woman needs help. 
it was qite funny thinking about it now. ngasindza ngembela LMAO!!!!!

TheLady
18 Mar 2009 13:08

billyb-you are so crazy...you killing me...

BigMama
18 Mar 2009 13:17

Just imagine, if you went there alone. Just be careful, she might follow you around.

belz
18 Mar 2009 13:23

i will not fight with anyone, coz vele umuntu angangishaya ngimile nje ngimbhekile, i cant fight,i dont know what i should do when i fight, so if you steal my man, i send abafana beHillbrow bazokusorta out.

sjura
18 Mar 2009 13:24

haibo Belz wat r u on about. ?ddnt knw the two ladies were gna wrestle each other.........lol!!!!!!!

awelani
18 Mar 2009 13:26

LMAO @ Belzyy, nami I cant fight shem, but i will tell u where to get off until u shrink,lol

DJ Why why
18 Mar 2009 13:35

Tjo tjo tjo!  BB!!!  I hope "dressed to kill" do nt mean you were wearing makwai-kwai, hair flying is dangerous enough!

Tox, pleez PM back @ Sjuju's advice if she sent it to you.....  it's dangerous.
Sju chomma, hayi remind me never to take advice from you!

sjura
18 Mar 2009 13:42

yhoo guys i neva sed billyb must clap the babymama...hai hai hai.. u curious wena dj y ufuna i pm ku Tox i neva pm'd her..

billyb
18 Mar 2009 13:49

please guys, sjura didn't say anything about slapping the bitch. shame leave her alone.

Moniks
18 Mar 2009 13:50

Lmao,,, this is hilirious...

sjura
18 Mar 2009 13:51

tel them billyb....but dnt disclose wat i sent u kwi PM, i knw dj and belz are dying to know wat advice i gave u ............lol!!!!!!!!

Toxic
18 Mar 2009 14:13

so sjura, who's the starring that moer'd billyb?

Pooky
18 Mar 2009 14:29

so sjura, who's the starring that moer'd billyb?

heke Toxi that's what i also want to know....who is this blocker maan

Toxic
18 Mar 2009 14:33

LOL Pooky! i can just imagine your tone of voice!

sjura
18 Mar 2009 14:38

Lol....Puki no Toxi..... i cnt name the person but il give u a hint : her username starts with T

TheLady
18 Mar 2009 14:42

NOT me ladies...I don't have a baby yet...
Toxic
Tshepiso
Tshd21

who else?let's narrow dow the list

Pooky
18 Mar 2009 14:43

is it Tashy ??? ahahahahahahahaahahah

Pooky
18 Mar 2009 14:47

why do i get the feeling its Teev

sjura
18 Mar 2009 14:48

Tenyiko

dali
18 Mar 2009 14:49

is it thelionking???????????

Toxic
18 Mar 2009 14:49

KWA KWA KWA KWA, well l can confidently say i am not the woman billyb is referring to.

belz
18 Mar 2009 14:51

LMAO!!! Pooky!!! Tshidi doesnt have a child and Tashi doesnt i think. It must be Kele, Segololo, Awelani, who else has a kid kanene

Pooky
18 Mar 2009 14:59

was just taking a luchy guess with Tashi Tagg my Belzi LOL

Pooky
18 Mar 2009 14:59

luchy = lucky

green
18 Mar 2009 15:10

@ billy b -"and then my brand new hair was on the floor" that's really funny! does this mean that she still owes you new hair and an apology?

andi01
18 Mar 2009 15:16

@BillyB-so the man was mine, she jumps him and falls pregnant hoping to get ring. he didnt care and married me anyway- this guy cheats on, impregnates another woman, runs away from his responsibility, and you still have the audacity to fight with the woman (in the same position as you, diffrence is you got a ring), and call this cheat a MAN????, nci nci nci, i wanda what you gonna call him when he u fall pregnant, and he dumps u for another woman, coz babes, once a player always, a player

TheLady
18 Mar 2009 15:16

belz..the name starts with a T...I think I must go to the Genblog...I hae a strong feeling that she's there...LOL

andi01
18 Mar 2009 15:19

@BillyB- i said hold up you shagged him wen you knew he was engaged.and I bet the man was screaming, "please stop, dont shag me I am engaged", while the other woman was busy shaging him, nci nci nci, funny how we always blame the other woman when betrated by our men, that promise us heaven and earth.

sjura
18 Mar 2009 15:22

that promise us heaven and earth. ayizizo nezabo ke Andi ezi zinto basthembisa zona.....

andi01
18 Mar 2009 15:22

@Billyb- the man grabbed her and threw her on the floor- not only is the man a cheat, he is a woman basher too, you laughing now coz he is doin it 2 some1 else, bet u, u'd be crying out loud soon, when he does it to you. Men abuse us coz we laugh when they abuse others, and let them believe that abuse is OK. No matter what that woman did, she doesnt deserve that treatment from her baby daddy.

andi01
18 Mar 2009 15:23

LOL @ Sjura- ayizizo nezabo ke Andi ezi zinto basthembisa zona- true dat and thats why they never deliver.

BigMama
18 Mar 2009 15:25

@andi01........why are you doing this. You are bringing billyb spirit down maan.

@sjura........could tracy be the woman or TDC

andi01
18 Mar 2009 15:28

@BigMama- why are you doing this, am just expressing my honest opinion

Toxic
18 Mar 2009 15:29

TDC is a man BigMama

sjura
18 Mar 2009 15:33

Lol at Bigmama

myname
18 Mar 2009 15:33

Shame Billy maar standwa sam a lady neva fight for a man. You 2 worthy for fights nhe....BTW I love the way u handled bt LOL

Your story is hilarius, i wish i was there hahaha LOL

BigMama
18 Mar 2009 15:41

Sorry TDC

Cande
18 Mar 2009 15:49

Andi01 i was about to say the same thing, billyb he cheated on you and had prove of it and you still took him back & you proud to call him a man like that YOUR man? Its only a matter of time till he starts cheating with someone else and probably bring another babby momma in your marriage

Cande
18 Mar 2009 15:52

and know am not the woman they talking about because i dont have a baby

Zah000
18 Mar 2009 15:53

Andi01 you make so much sense......... Hats off!!

andi01
18 Mar 2009 16:07

@Cande- and at that rate (accompanied by BillyB's  attitude towards his wicked ways) the next  thing he'll be bringin home is AIDS. I am shoked at your story, just thinking that last night I had a big fight with my man, he refuses to support his children, and he expects me to be happy bout that. he is mad, coz one day, Im gonna have a baby, and how will i feel when he does the same to me and my baby, HELLLL NO. 
@Zah000-thanks girl, and I aint taking cover for that, coz its the truth,

BigMama
18 Mar 2009 16:08

billyb.........don´t listen to them, some cheaters do change. And if you live not to trust your man believe me your relationship won´t last. Most many do cheat and the only thing l can advise you is to tell your man to condomise, other than that my fellow blogger, its close to impossible to find a 100% faithful man. So for now just enjoy the moment and tell yourself that he is yours and if you feel he is worthy fighting for, do that, you are the one experiencing a life with him...............But you know the final decision is yours, whatever we say here its not a must to do, you know what you want.

sjura
18 Mar 2009 16:10

atsh' amadam' anamanzi

TheLady
18 Mar 2009 16:13

I say beat the isht out of her billyb...but make sure to record it...

Cande
18 Mar 2009 16:17

We not saying Men dont cheat Bigmama, but am suprised that Billyb is acting like this man was raped by this woman. He also had unprotected sex with that woman knowing very well that he is engaged. Am not saying your are wrong for standing by your man but you sound like you blame this woman for everything. You shouldnt be proud of having a man who could cheat and bring a baby to proof it, like Andi said the next thing he will be bringing you AIDS.

andi01
18 Mar 2009 16:18

@BigMama- some cheaters do change- while in daipers you mean???
And if you live not to trust your man - there are reasons that lead to lack of trust (like havin a baby with another woman while engaged to billyb)
And if you live not to trust your man believe me your relationship won´t last- we compromise ourselves in the process of pleasing people who treat us like robots
tell your man to condomise, - its like you saying "go ahead, sleep with other women, i know i dont satisfy you" contrary to a statement by billyb (no such luck because i am a devil in prada n the bedroom. 
So for now just enjoy the moment and tell yourself that he is yours-
its nice to live in dreamworld,and denial but once relaity strikes in, damn it hurts, 

sjura
18 Mar 2009 16:18

*nodding*

andi01
18 Mar 2009 16:21

@Cande-but am suprised that Billyb is acting like this man was raped by this woman.- our main argument rests on this line, well said Cande

BigMama
18 Mar 2009 16:23

Thank you for the clarity Cande.....

No andi01, its not like that, you cannot be with your man 24/7, so l think it is wise to tell them to condomise. And to me it does not matter as long as he is doing it far away from my sight and everyone close to me, and if he plays it safe why must l worry.

Ngqesta
18 Mar 2009 16:23

@myname...Shame Billy maar standwa sam a lady neva fight for a man...but that she expected to do, remember the other woman ATTACKED her if I read correctly.

Andi01 and Cande...thou shall not judge....so what if she decides to take the man back...if you guys have never been cheated on and took the man back....then good for you...but then if she decides not to do the same...i think she's adult enough to decide it herself....With all due respect...giving one's opinion and being judgemental are two different things. While I don't advocate that the man should be allowed to get away with murder in such cases....we don't know maybe BillyB and the man discussed the matter and decided to work things out...would he cheat again....NO ONE KNOWS...that's obviously the chance she is prepared to take...it's her life and her own decisions. Coming to the other woman, by all means BillyB has EVERY right to be angry at her....I believe she has every right to fight back when the woman who shagged (or was shagged by) her man ATTACKS her, I mean being attacked by another female is enough to drive one mad....but being attacked by a female who slept with your man is just something else...more so if you never really did anything on your side to confront or have any dealings with her.

andi01
18 Mar 2009 16:25

He also had unprotected sex with that woman- isnt billyb, worried gore how many other women does he have "unprotected sex" with, but they are clever enough not to carry this worm's child.
Billyb- whatever you call this woman, remember she was at your postion before, all the promises and small kisses, fake love gestures, that you getting, she also got them, before being dumped liek a hot potatoe, so dont be comfortable in that chair, what goes around, comes around.

andi01
18 Mar 2009 16:30

@Ngqesta- with all due respect, pls quote the "judgemental statement". If you read mine and cande's responses clearly, you will see that we have billyb's best interest at heart i.e (worrying that she might get AIDS, that she migth have her heartbroken again, that she might be in the same situation as this woman soon),a nd that she is fighting with teh "wrong" person, forgetting that, her man is the person that betrayed her, and if anyone deserves a clap, its him. and that she shouldnt be gald when this man disrespects his baby mama, coz one day, she gonna be the baby mama, what if he does the same to her. We not judging Billyb, not even a bietjie

Toxic
18 Mar 2009 16:37

mean being attacked by another female is enough to drive one mad....but being attacked by a female who slept with your man is just something else...

LMAO!!!!!

Cande
18 Mar 2009 16:38

Ngqesta, i dont think im(we) judging her. we just trying to show the mistake she is making which is "carrying on like it was the woman's fault that there is a baby". 
I have had cheating lovers and forgiven them but i wont go fighting people that they cheated with coz most of the times they didnt know(which is not the case in this situation) and my man is also to blame for this. Instead i will only blame him because he is the one i am dating to the other woman, he is the one who brought the 3rd party in this relationship so i will blame him.

andi01
18 Mar 2009 16:40

mean being attacked by another female is enough to drive one mad....but being attacked by a female who slept with your man is just something else- and this attack makes billyb, so oblivious and indenial of the real problem here, (which is a cheating, lying, woman basher) and focus on a small slap from a scorn dijeted woman, nigga please, she needs to be realistic here.

Cande
18 Mar 2009 16:41

Instead i will only blame him because he is the one i am dating to the other woman

sorry it was supposed to be

Infact i will blame him only because he is the one i am dating not the other woman

dali
18 Mar 2009 16:43

the A team!............ LOL

andi01
18 Mar 2009 16:44

@cande-have had cheating lovers and forgiven them but i wont go fighting people that they cheated with, on the contrary, i have had my man cheating on me with someone close to me, (I attacked her first, coz she betrayed me coz she was close to both of us), and i dumped his black arse. So you see we handled our situations differently, hence we feel we should share with billyB, how we think, she should be looking at this picture.

Cande
18 Mar 2009 16:44

and if you have followed this story you will understand that billyb went there wanting a fight Ngqesta

andi01
18 Mar 2009 16:51

@Dali-the A team!............ who dat???????????????????LOL

Ngqesta by name, Ngqesta by nature, LOL

dali
18 Mar 2009 16:56

hi andi!!!!!!! love u 2!!!!!!!!!!!!LOL

Tshd21
18 Mar 2009 17:02

LMAO, it wasn't me!! tl tl tl tl tl tltltLOL

Anyway, billyb, fighting for a man is soooooo 2008, come now, get with the programme. Didn't you hear what Diva Khanyi Mbau said on RGB a while ago? Girls don't get physical. They drive bigger cars, wear more expensive hair, longer french tips, skimpier skirts, thicker make-up..... catch a drift?? 

Butthat was entertaining though!! what typa hair where you wearing?? tl tl tl tl kwa kwa kwa kwa

Lela
18 Mar 2009 17:06

Thanks Andi,I thought I was the only one who thought this was not on! You said it as I would say it cz I was once in a situation like this difference is I don't bother calling the baby dady that is why we are in good terms with the wife, but in the beginning I had the feeling that she thought he just tripped and fell on top of me, besides he was the engaged one who was supposed to keep his zip closed not me. Thank God that chapter of my life is now closed,I only wait to hear from them no calling from my side.

Mafresh
18 Mar 2009 17:35

Cande & Andi......these 2 know how to phunya seso & take out bladu. ...hmmmmmm!!!!!!!!!!!things we do 4 luv.  The truth hurts most of the time

Segololo
18 Mar 2009 17:38

bathong! who revived this article? lmao! drama!

Mafresh
18 Mar 2009 17:47

@ Sego, its actually more of a reality show. Who needs a DSTV, when we have bo billyb, talk about reality shows...LMFAO!!!!!

Segololo
18 Mar 2009 18:06

<<LMAO!!! Pooky!!! Tshidi doesnt have a child and Tashi doesnt i think. It must be Kele, Segololo, Awelani, who else has a kid kanene>> ROFLMFBBBBAO!!!! huh!!!???? *confused KLS eye-rolls* WTF? No no no no no!!! I got a ring on it!!! King K liked it, put a ring on it and gave me our kids... hell no am I this WWE blocker that got moered! tjo! I would have disgrced Oprah with that behaviour!

Segololo
18 Mar 2009 18:12

<<Most many do cheat and the only thing l can advise you is to tell your man to condomise, other than that my fellow blogger, its close to impossible to find a 100% faithful man.>> my King is 100000% faithful and has not cheated on me. so I find this excuse just hideous cause If women can control themselves why should men not control themselves??? You are advising billyb to now start accepting her man's ways by saying "condomise"? hell no! He must come home and davaza his wife if he is horny...

Segololo
18 Mar 2009 18:15

<<So for now just enjoy the moment and tell yourself that he is yours and if you feel he is worthy fighting for, do that, you are the one experiencing a life with him..............>> oh laaad! where do I begin? when he is yours, you do not need to lie to yourself.

Segololo
18 Mar 2009 18:19

<<No andi01, its not like that, you cannot be with your man 24/7, so l think it is wise to tell them to condomise. And to me it does not matter as long as he is doing it far away from my sight and everyone close to me, and if he plays it safe why must l worry.>> I am not with my king 24/7 and I do not need to. You also do not need to be with your man 24/7, they have to have the self-control, conscious and knowledge that you are in their lives and their actions would hurt you... and also realise that if they can't get what they want from you and from someone else they might as well leave and have it with whoever they want to have it with than make you bury your head in the sand like an ostrich... as much as you would not do such to hut him why condone that he can willy-nilly davaza everyone out of your sight?

Segololo
18 Mar 2009 18:23

<<I have had cheating lovers and forgiven them but i wont go fighting people that they cheated with coz most of the times they didnt know(which is not the case in this situation)>> VERY VERY TRUE!!! people NEEEEEED to start watching Cheaters on mondays at 21:00 on E-tv!!!

Cande
18 Mar 2009 18:29

Segololo where did you find a man like Keeng K?? I need to go there 2

Segololo
18 Mar 2009 18:34

Cande: If I tell you, you wont go ,so I won't bother...

Cande
18 Mar 2009 18:38

what makes you think so? Is it in Moz??LOL!!!

Segololo
18 Mar 2009 19:00

LMAO!!

DJ Why why
18 Mar 2009 19:26

I say beat the isht out of her billyb...but make sure to record it...

Kwa kwa kwa! some advise you have here TL!!!

Brown Shuga
18 Mar 2009 20:45

I am SO lost!

Firstdvd
18 Mar 2009 23:02

INTERESTING~~~on the 7th April '08 Author broke her virginity...lol

billyb
19 Mar 2009 10:05

thank you for all your advice and comments, i will forever be grateful. i am glad i was able to add some comic relief to all your lives.

Maya012
28 Sep 2011 12:58

I'm gonna be a babymama in a few months. I pray I don't come with drama!!!!

zam.ngcobo
28 Sep 2011 13:12

Why?you broke up with the baby daddy @Maya012 cos you can only be a pain if you've broken up with the daddy .

Maya012
28 Sep 2011 13:26

Im pregnant now and we're in the process of breaking up!!!

Ntlewame2
28 Sep 2011 13:33

Pardon me for repetition of *any above*, but i will read once i half done with ma project.

I was just talking to my partner yesterday -we both got kid(s), i said a man is the only person who can bring some form of order or respect to the trio relationship.
Actually there is no *trio* relationship. a man must be the boarder wall-(was using my hand to illustrate by the way)
he stands in between-
he discuss his plans for his kid(s) with wife - they must agree
then goes to baby mama to lay down the rules-they must agree
the babymama dont ask money/have communications/complaints to wife
the wife dont have communications/complaints to babymama
the wife has to make the child feel comfortable when he/she visits the dad(its her home also)
when child is with mama, wife does not get involved
when child is with wife; mama does not get involved
i dont see how girlfriends should get involved anyway, i would not want any child of mine be exposed to his many girlfriends-let him marry first then the wife and my child can get to know each other -same versa versa (though he opted to introduce me to his child)
if you try and be friends babymama & wife..........heee....we count years...

dont hv time will share more

zam.ngcobo
28 Sep 2011 14:03

Im pregnant now and we're in the process of breaking up!!!
Shuuuuuu it cant be easy,Congrats on the baby and Good luck on being a mother !

VusiK
28 Sep 2011 15:34

Well said Ntlewame2 .... If one is a girlfriend, keep away from the children (the opposite applies) , children are not toys to be used as flirtation and combat tools .... Poeple should only introduce their children to their playmates when the commitment is proven and solid, and stands the opportunity to be a long term thing ... Anyone who has issues with the existence of "those who have been before (including children)) lives in a fantasy ... but if anyone develops an attitude toward a child because of the parent also has a problem ... an spouses who allow exes to interfere in their relationships are weaklings ... lastly, anyone who ignores their child's needs in favour of their own comfort is ignorant and weak in all aspects, and does not deserve the privilege of calling themselves and adult.

Godzilla
08 Nov 2012 15:56

The best I've read so far and had a good laugh.

VusiK
08 Nov 2012 18:03

Congratulations on your 1st Article...
It is a great debut ... (Great Big, Proud Smile).
I read the article, ... not the responses, I can't afford the time.

VusiK
08 Nov 2012 18:46

I avoid Drama ... I have no drama ... one Mama tried giving me drama ... I ignored her until she realised the big fool she was making of herself.

I pay my child support up front for the child's life... all 25 years on a single check, what she does with it is none of my business, as long as there are court documents supporting that it is paid and received.
I will pay education & health, ... but that has not been requested (They have medical insurance ... I don't)
I will take the children shopping for all their clothes ... if she comments a peep ... I will cancel... not her money ... not her call.
All my children are born with endowment trusts that are discretionary, but only vest one year after the mother dies ... no reports or statements exist, so baby Mama never knows they exist.
Any attempt to use a child as leverage or collateral ... she can have baby 100% ... I have paid all my obligations & I owe Baby Mama nothing !!! ... If baby suffers as a result; so be it ... it is why parents exist, to make the decisions.. even harmful & destructive ones.
How I spend my money is my business ... any Mama who tries influencing this line learns very early that it is a path best left un-pursued ... I'm a vicious vindictive payback specialist of note !
Over & Out is Over & Finished with me ... There is no way my/ a child can be leveraged by the Mama.
I have no Baby Mama Drama
I do not allow anyone power / leverage over my life/ peace / happiness.
Sometimes it is agonizingly painful to have to walk away from a child ... and sometime ... It is absolutely necessary (I have done so more than once ... most time until a peace is brokered as adults should!,,,
Her Moods, Periods, unhapiness and other dark spaces are NONE of my business ... If she keeps it good and clean ... so will I)
Lastly ...
A child is only as good as the worst parent ... regardless of that parent's sex ... even our best intents sometimes are are our worst decisions ... so it is not always the Mama's fault (being bad & dramatic) ...  it can equally be the Daddy's fault.

Nevertheless & Regardless ...
... It is always the child that suffers...
when adults become too childish to be proper parents (Which is what Drama is part of).

VusiK
08 Nov 2012 18:59

I have heard some baby mamas even go to the extremes of telling the child not to eat anything from sis' Zanele

Leave them not eating ... just ut food in front of them ... Hunger is a great motivator for any child to exercise independence.

VusiK
08 Nov 2012 19:02

April 2008 ... I should have noted the date ... lol

What applies now ... Applied waaaaaaaayyyyyyyyy back then also.

LMAO @ silly me assuming this was written recently!

Godzilla
08 Nov 2012 15:56

The best I've read so far and had a good laugh.

shygal
09 Nov 2012 08:19

VusiK you seem to be an expert in the subject matter I like your opinions on it. What should one do if the child chooses sides and decides to lean on the mother's side despite the fact that you've been there as a stepmother, supportive and did more than the mother did but as they grow older they start seeing you as an enemy?

VusiK
08 Nov 2012 18:03

Congratulations on your 1st Article...
It is a great debut ... (Great Big, Proud Smile).
I read the article, ... not the responses, I can't afford the time.

VusiK
08 Nov 2012 18:46

I avoid Drama ... I have no drama ... one Mama tried giving me drama ... I ignored her until she realised the big fool she was making of herself.

I pay my child support up front for the child's life... all 25 years on a single check, what she does with it is none of my business, as long as there are court documents supporting that it is paid and received.
I will pay education & health, ... but that has not been requested (They have medical insurance ... I don't)
I will take the children shopping for all their clothes ... if she comments a peep ... I will cancel... not her money ... not her call.
All my children are born with endowment trusts that are discretionary, but only vest one year after the mother dies ... no reports or statements exist, so baby Mama never knows they exist.
Any attempt to use a child as leverage or collateral ... she can have baby 100% ... I have paid all my obligations & I owe Baby Mama nothing !!! ... If baby suffers as a result; so be it ... it is why parents exist, to make the decisions.. even harmful & destructive ones.
How I spend my money is my business ... any Mama who tries influencing this line learns very early that it is a path best left un-pursued ... I'm a vicious vindictive payback specialist of note !
Over & Out is Over & Finished with me ... There is no way my/ a child can be leveraged by the Mama.
I have no Baby Mama Drama
I do not allow anyone power / leverage over my life/ peace / happiness.
Sometimes it is agonizingly painful to have to walk away from a child ... and sometime ... It is absolutely necessary (I have done so more than once ... most time until a peace is brokered as adults should!,,,
Her Moods, Periods, unhapiness and other dark spaces are NONE of my business ... If she keeps it good and clean ... so will I)
Lastly ...
A child is only as good as the worst parent ... regardless of that parent's sex ... even our best intents sometimes are are our worst decisions ... so it is not always the Mama's fault (being bad & dramatic) ...  it can equally be the Daddy's fault.

Nevertheless & Regardless ...
... It is always the child that suffers...
when adults become too childish to be proper parents (Which is what Drama is part of).

VusiK
08 Nov 2012 18:59

I have heard some baby mamas even go to the extremes of telling the child not to eat anything from sis' Zanele

Leave them not eating ... just ut food in front of them ... Hunger is a great motivator for any child to exercise independence.

VusiK
08 Nov 2012 19:02

April 2008 ... I should have noted the date ... lol

What applies now ... Applied waaaaaaaayyyyyyyyy back then also.

LMAO @ silly me assuming this was written recently!

VusiK
09 Nov 2012 10:44

@Shygal ...

Allow the child exercise their choice ... it is their life, not yours .... not the parents, regardless of how noble your intentions ... it is the child's life. Once they show preference, let it be exercised.

Letting her exercise her choice will earn you 2 things ... I guarantee ...

Regard / Respect
Gratitude

As to where either comes from, it depends on how you  handle the situation; however ... It is worth every bit of the agony & angst that precedes it !

VusiK
09 Nov 2012 11:21

VusiK you seem to be an expert in the subject matter

In life ... there are no experts ... just some people with some experiences.

shygal
09 Nov 2012 08:19

VusiK you seem to be an expert in the subject matter I like your opinions on it. What should one do if the child chooses sides and decides to lean on the mother's side despite the fact that you've been there as a stepmother, supportive and did more than the mother did but as they grow older they start seeing you as an enemy?

shygal
09 Nov 2012 11:48

Thanks VusiK you're an angel. Straight to the point.

VusiK
09 Nov 2012 10:44

@Shygal ...

Allow the child exercise their choice ... it is their life, not yours .... not the parents, regardless of how noble your intentions ... it is the child's life. Once they show preference, let it be exercised.

Letting her exercise her choice will earn you 2 things ... I guarantee ...

Regard / Respect
Gratitude

As to where either comes from, it depends on how you  handle the situation; however ... It is worth every bit of the agony & angst that precedes it !

VusiK
09 Nov 2012 11:21

VusiK you seem to be an expert in the subject matter

In life ... there are no experts ... just some people with some experiences.

shygal
09 Nov 2012 11:48

Thanks VusiK you're an angel. Straight to the point.

VusiK
12 Nov 2012 10:33

@Shygal ...
You are welcome.

VusiK
12 Nov 2012 10:33

@Shygal ...
You are welcome.


Only TVSA members can reply to this thread. Click here to login or register.






LATEST ARTICLES

New on TV today: Friday 22 November 2024

Bread & Roses on Apple TV+ tells the plight of Afghan women as Nat Geo Wild camps out on Africa's Blood River.


Scandal! Teasers - December 2024

A wedding proposal, a familiar face returns and Ndumiso basks in the glory of his apparent heroism.


Binnelanders Teasers - December 2024

Joe tells his sister about his visit to their father’s mistress. Ouch!


New on TV today: Thursday 21 November

BBC Earth takes you around the Solar System and a Wicked special airs on E! ahead of the film premiere.


My Naam is Farah Teasers - December 2024

Immigration officials turn up at Farah’s home. And then she receives a call from a ghost.


Survivor 45: See who lovestruck Austin's dating now

Are Austin and Dee still together? Find out here as we reflect on the season.


New on TV today: Wednesday 20 October

Our Oceans, narrated by Barack Obama, airs on Netflix and Dave returns to Disney+ for Season 3.


Summertide Teasers - December 2024

Martin grapples with Charlie’s ex and Gavin finds Rebecca at the beach. Sunset, silhouette...


The River 6 on Mzansi Magic Teasers - December 2024

Cold, warmer, hot. Veronica and Kedibone get closer to the truth.


Kelders van Geheime Teasers - December 2024

Dewald calls Annette, Shireen, Edmund and Du Toit together to sign the adoption papers.

LATEST SITE ACTIVITY


More activity at TVSA Central



LATEST SOAPIE TEASERS



LATEST SOAPIE TEASERS





×
×

You browser doesn't have Flash, Silverlight, Gears, BrowserPlus or HTML5 support.