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Chris Rock coming to SA

Written by poshspice from the blog POSH SPICE on 10 Apr 2008
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Guess who's coming to Mzansi, yep Comedian Chris Rock, best news I've heard in a long time.I kinda stopped going to concerts of artists from outside the country. My beef is waiting in anticipation, paying a lot of money and they perfom for 20 minutes.

Chris Rock’s “NO APOLOGIES” Tour dates for South Africa:

Tuesday, 3 June 2008 - Durban - ICC Arena

Wednesday, 4 June 2008 - Cape Town - Grand West Arena

Friday, 6 June 2008 - Johannesburg - Carnival Big Top Arena

Saturday, 7 June 2008 - Sun City - Superbowl

Hey fans, what's your Chris Rock's favourite joke?

33 Comments

Vutmi
10 Apr 2008 10:24

mmmmm.....intresting....I like the jokes about African-Americans vs Whites in America...hillarious.... and i adore "Everybody Hates Chris"....

blaqueboi
10 Apr 2008 10:31

seriously now Vumti, you dont think all the jokes on 'Everybody hates Chris' are his original work now,

Vutmi
10 Apr 2008 10:43

I dont really care whose's original work the jokes are...as long as he masterminded the whole show!

sweetie my baby
10 Apr 2008 22:07

yip, i'm a fan - he's smart and funny! and blaqueboi - maybe he didn't think of all the jokes on everybody loves chris... but he chose and approved them! which is probably the same for his stand up routine - i don't doubt it's gonna be great.

see ya there vut!

1nOnly
11 Apr 2008 05:44

I've got my ticket alredy. So looking forward to it!

Nonny
11 Apr 2008 06:28

I am so there, phela Chris Brown wa rocka fela........*eish forgive me if I don't make sense, I'm tryna explore other languages.........LOL*

1nOnly
11 Apr 2008 06:38

@Nonny Chris who? LOL

poshspice
11 Apr 2008 06:51

1nOnly -how much are the tickets and did you get them from computickets

Nonny
11 Apr 2008 06:56

"Nonny Chris who? LOL"
@ 1nOnly - Eish only u noticed that small error *now they all gonna see it*, my dear why vele do u have to be so attentive. Neway I meant Chris Rock, wa roka fela..........mximmmmm.....and anyway a slip of the finger on the keyboard is not a fault of the mind..........LOL

Lerata
11 Apr 2008 07:00

Happy, something with spending money on!

@ Nonny- You are so right, Chris Rock, wa roka!

Nonny
11 Apr 2008 07:02

@ Poshpsice, here are the prices below: "@ 1nOnly, now u know I really made an error when i said Chris Brown, I really meant Chris Rock, and I'm gonna be at the Durban one!!!*

R400.00: Floor - Rows AAA to NNZ
R350.00: Floor - Rows OOZ to RRY
R250.00: Floor - Rows SSY to CCX
R250.00: Raked (raised) Auditorium 1,2,5 & 6
R200.00: Raked (raised) Auditorium 3 & 4
R200.00: Wheelchair Auditorium 4

pushi
11 Apr 2008 07:05

........*eish forgive me if I don't make sense, I'm tryna explore other languages.........LOL*
Hey Nons {Waving like i hav mad cow syndrome if there's such}

So proud of u, allow me to give u a free lesson if u don't mind, fela means only, not sure if u meant that

Nonny
11 Apr 2008 07:05

I think the ticket prices are certainly worth it, as u say Lerata that man is really funny.

Nonny
11 Apr 2008 07:09

Hey there Pushi, thank u for the free lesson ((((((blowing Cyber kisses))))))))) eish it seems I have a long way to go, I thought fela means allot, kant it actually means only ..........hehehe.......*I think I'm gonna stick to the vernac and the little Gorge I know..........LOL*

Lerata
11 Apr 2008 07:10

@Nonny - Do these prices apply to all the shows or just the Durban? Can I just be blonde for while!

1nOnly
11 Apr 2008 07:19

@ posh Yep I got my tickets from Computicket and the JHB tickets go for 200, 250, 300, 400 and 450.

poshspice
11 Apr 2008 07:21

thanks Nonny---

Lerata
11 Apr 2008 07:23

Hey JHB had to be different and charge us more. Why mara? Nonny I think I will join you ko Durbs!

Toxic
11 Apr 2008 07:29

Lerata, i think R450 ones are FRONT ROW ones-for those people that don't mind spit on their faces and being made fun of!

Nonny
11 Apr 2008 07:31

Lerata, come on now in JHB the only difference is that the most expensive ticket is R50 more, meaning R450, and ours is R400.........it's not that much of a difference, stop sulking wena and leave the Durbanites to be favoured!!!!

Lerata
11 Apr 2008 07:37

R50 is for the cab to get me there, so now I wont have transi-see what I mean. An inconveneice(sp) fela!

I dont think he going to be as funny,especially when it comes to politics, but hey he is learned so I guess he will entertain us!

What is your favourite joke by Chris Rock?

Toxic
11 Apr 2008 07:39

U don't have to sit in the expensive seats to hear him though.

Lerata
11 Apr 2008 07:43

I have a hearing problem,so I need sit close to the speakers not close to the stage! LOL

Nonny
11 Apr 2008 08:09

OK, Lerata, u know Chris is a bit heavy on the language, so bear with me moderators, but to answer ur question, here are a few of my favourate jokes from the man!!!

His view on Affirmative Action is brilliant, “I don’t think I should get a job over a white person if I scored a lower mark on the test but if there’s a tie, *bleep!* them. You have 400 years head start m*th*rfu*ker.”

Married and Bored or Single and Lonely
Once you’re married, kiss all your dreams good-bye and “make the bitch happy.” Good relationship is simply eating and f*c*ing.

Woman Beater
You just have to watch him in action on this one, “I would never hit a woman in my life but I’ll shake the sh!t out of her.”

These are my favourates!!!!

Nonny
11 Apr 2008 08:38

OK, just to keep it clean, here is a non explicit joke that I alos love by the man Chris himself:

My Mother was real cheap. Okay, practical. She would never pay a bill on time. "If they ain't cutting it off, I ain't paying." She would say, "the first bill is a suggestion. If they really want you to pay it, then they'll come and tap on your window." Her whole philosphy of life was: if you die owing money, then you've won.

Cheers everyone I'm out.......

Lerata
11 Apr 2008 08:51

Rap Music

I love rap music but I am tired of defending it, like this song: Move Bitch get out the way-clearly the bi*ch was on his way and the b needs to move. To the sweat, to the sweat drip from my balls...x2... you know the rest!

Woman will dance to anything, if the beat is good thay will dance the whole night. "Smack her with dikc,put a in her ear,blind the bi*ch-she aint talking about me! "Smack her with dikc,put a in her ear,blind the bi*ch"

I hate Niggers
When you wanna hide money from niggers put in a book cause niggers dont read. Books are criptonite!

The Jacksons

Michael Jackson
,Another kid!another kid!II though it was ground hogs day Its gonna be a sad day when Michael Jackson goes to jail . Its going to be sad not that day BUT after 3 months or something,When his hair is all nappy and *bleep!* cause the crayola people wont be there to fix his face.

Janet jackson

40 year titty, " Oh my god, I am outside" The tidy could not even believe it was outside.40 year old tiddy -your mans titty. 20 year old tiddy-community tiddy

Jamaine
Is it me or Jamaine is the greasest mother-f. When he is on TV you gota wipe the screen off.

These are the ones I could think of!

Bra Bizza
11 Apr 2008 10:07

I'm loving what Fresh on 5fm is currently playing about O Jay's trial...this man is funny and on point...

he talks about women wanting maintenance money after divorce cause they're accustomed to certain things like going to the spa,groceries and ish....and he ask what about things that the guys get accustomed to...like having sex four times a day...can you go to the magistrate and also ask to be maintained?

i wonder what would any of the ladies who've been through divorce would say about that...

poshspice
12 Apr 2008 08:41

he talks about women wanting maintenance money after divorce cause they're accustomed to certain things like going to the spa,groceries and ish....and he ask what about things that the guys get accustomed to...like having sex four times a day...can you go to the magistrate and also ask to be maintained?

hi hi hi hi, coming back with my favourites

Brown Shuga
12 Apr 2008 14:40

One perfomance I don't want to miss...

Cnglemother
13 Apr 2008 03:39

Thanks Poshy for the info, will diarise and inform ma peeps, but why in carnival city, we have to schlep all the way to the far east rand, i dont like those areas (brakpan & boksburg) they make udarkie feel weird to be at. Why not the Dome or somewhere Joburg central or the northern suburbs, this would pull enough crowd and be accessible to da masses? we got enough venues and they decide to lahlela him ko-vlakplas.

Nonny
16 Apr 2008 02:21

LMAO at Lerata's favourate Chris Rock jokes, I love the Rap Music one, no matter how many times I hear it it always make me LOL, Chris is really talented.

Addictv
16 Apr 2008 02:40

This is da best news I've heard all day........my fav Chris Rock jokes is da one abt guys & gals...wat he says & wat he means....

Wheneva a guy speaks to a gal, all he's doing is offering dick...............he'll say

hey wats yo name (can i offer u some dick)

can I have yo number (how abt some dick)

think he's jus hilarious...cant wait for his perfomance

STROH
16 Apr 2008 02:41

@ cinglemom........dont discriminate I feel offended phela ngibuya ekurhuleni.bt about dat feeling i knw what u talking about,i stayed there for 5 years bt i still dont umakhelwane.

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