My baby started creche on the 3rd March. Today I might have to take him to the Doctor now for the 4th time (this excludes followup visits). I'm drained emotionally, mentally and physically. When does enough become enough?
Aside from his health, everything's going quite well. I hate it when he wakes up in the morning before his time because then he starts nagging me (gibberish but I still get it) to get going. If he even sees me holding his bag he runs to the door. He gets all excited when I pull into the driveway of the creche and happily (gibberishly) greets the security guy at the gate. From then on he doesn't want mommy holding him/his hand as he happily makes his way into their little class. If the music's not on already the "teacher" jumps to switch on and we all delight in seeing my little Punku dancing to the tunes of Old Mcdonald and Baba Black Sheep... He's happy there. That much is obvious. But the constant illness is making me ill now!
His first illness consisted of a bout of the flu, vomititing and a bit of thulula (the English version's spelling escapes me even now). Took him to the dr and he got better. He also started losing weight (wasn't eating the food at creche) so I started packing him his lunch along with b'fast and sncaks for the day. But there was this cough that just never went away and me being me I've been self-medicating the little ruscal. A coupla weeks after that I had to take him back again, same symptoms. He got better (except for that bloody cough) and now this weekend I took him again, for the third time! Worse now, he even had a fever. Just think how cold it was sunday night and my baby only slept in nothing but a vest, not even a blanket! The fever broke sometime yesterday but the flu just doesn't seem to get any better. This morning I saw blood on his pillow and when I wiped his nose there was blood there....why must they get so sick?!
I don't practice traditional customs all that much and my son ha aso tiisiwe (xiniswa) and everyone's telling me he needs to be a.s.a.p. I was meant to take him the 2nd time he got sick but my mom said it wasn't necessary as there were only 1/2 black kids in his class so go imelwa can't be an issue. What is this about exactly? Why do parents/grandparents tiisa their kids only so they can imela other kids? I don't get it, somebody please explain. This other lady at work is saying I must bring him this evening so we can take him to her pastor and he can pray for him. At this pint I really am willing to try anything, I don't care anymore.
The weekend I had said enough is enough, he's no longer going to creche. But my mom said it's too soon for me to give up. I should give it another month. How can I when he's suffering so?! Despite the fact that creche is probably the best thing that's ever happened to him (he's happier...that bit of interaction with other kids goes a long way...plus he's learning stuff I was struggling to get him to learn but now he's seeing other kids doing and it becomes easier...), is all of that really worth his health? Am I giving up too soon? Although I don't want to, I have to take heed of my mom's suggestions (you know rona bo darkie esp if you're still living with mom, you'll never really make decisions on your own) and give it one more month. I told my mom it's only gonna get worse as it's getting colder and windier now...she says he'll be better once he's seen "inyanga" or whatever they call those people...
I basically need some reassurance, as a mother, from other mothers out there, that taking him back will not mean I'm a bad mother. That maybe it is too soon to give up now. That this tiising business really will help him I feel so helpless and hopeless...when is enough really enough?