Being a woman is great! Having galfriends is extra fabulous because we get to do lots and lots of things together...we share each (and keep) each other's secrets, we're stick together through the good and the bad, we have FUN together. Nothing beats having a non-blood sister!
Lately though, I find myself being friends more with guys than I do with men. Women are complicated. We all know sometimes we have tooo fragile egos and not to mention the jealousy trips. I can deal with all of that ish though, it comes with the package. Small price to pay. But what really gets to me is the way we like giving advice, even when it's not asked for. I hate this. Everytime I need to talk and call up one of my galfriends and explain the situation she/they will go on and on about what I should do or say and what THEY would do if they were in the same predicament. I always feel like screaming...YOU! Who the hell said this was about you!!! And funny thing is at that time all you need is just someone who'll listen to your drama, not their own ish, whether past or present...or how/why they handled it. Women just DON'T get that!!!
I learnt about 3/4 years back not to give advice where it's not asked for. In fact, I do NOT give advice at all,especially when it comes to relationships; unless if I've been specifically asked. Even when asked I still feel uneasy giving it because we all like saying "well, if it was me I would..." It is not about me! It's about the other person. And we all react differently to the same or similar situations. Everyone's entitled to their own emotional state of being (whatever it may be) and no one can tell you what you should be thinking/saying/doing because this is about YOU and no one else. This piece of advice I got from my therapist years ago, when I asked if it was normal for me to find myself in a place whereby the abuse I went through as a child left me so lifeless and had basically taken hold of my life. And she said it was normal to feel what I feel because those were MY feelings and I owned them. Back to advice...
We all know just how much crap and ill treatment we take from men; yet we continue to stay in such Toxic relationships even when we know it's not good for us. Then comes the time when you do get yourself out of that situation and you think just cause you got out of it(after Lawd knows how many breakups and makeups) you feel you've gotten a degree in giving advice. He bathong! I've been going through some ish with this guy I'm seeing and I told my other friend about it. She went on and on about what relationships should be based on and what both parties need to put into it blah blah blah (she's getting married soon and I felt she was making too much of an example from what the two of them have)...damn I was so pissed off. After anbout 3 days of endless (and useless) conversations she finally said the one thing (which is acceptable as it's not advice but an observation) I already knew but needed someone else to see it too so I could be sure I wasn't just being too overly sensitive. And what was that one sentence? "...from what you've said, dude's not even trying" Gaad why are we like that???
You want a piece of advice? DON'T give advice. The only thing I will say to my galfriends when it comes to men and their relationships, I'll just tell them if I think the guy deserves them or not...or if they deserve better. Why dwell on the ins and outs of their relationship when you are just an outsider??? When we all know nawe if you ever find yourself in that situation your reaction to it will be completely different. Advice is so not wanted. Relationship advice is so useless and unnecessary because the woman will end up doing what SHE wants and this might casue conflict with your friendship because it'll then seem like one thinks they're better than the other cause the other is so "stupid" cos you've told them over and over to get herself out of that relationship. *Sigh*
Am I right or am I right mara?
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