Let me start by saying, I love my son. He is the center of my world and I would kill for him! Well, I almost committed murder when I unexpectedly arrived at his crèche during “snack time” and I saw his teacher’s assistant open Prince K’s lunch box and chomp off half of his Banana… I acted cavalier but inside I was like “How many bananas have you had in your life, Missy? Over 200 000 already!!! and you still chomp off my son’s chance at having his 1 000th banana? How inconsiderate? O molomo moholo!!!”
SO yes, I do love my son and what I am about to write may shock most mothers.
When I signed-up for motherhood I certainly did not sign-up for slavery! AND at times, when I see what my friends (who have children) and I take on a day to day basis, I feel abused. The abuse borders on being dished so much crap from our children that I don’t know that we need to feel guilty for doing some things!
Before you accuse me of negligence and abuse; my son insists on being picked up and watching Barney whenever he wants. BUT God forbid, I just need him to eat his meal and play with his toys while I read a page in a book I am reading – I have to be subjected to feeling guilty!
I listened and watched callers on the “Great Expectations” on etv last week as they discussed “Mother’s guilt” and I just kept feeling like they signed up for slavery! One of the guests felt guilty when she had to study because it is taking time away from her child and often times the child needs her attention when she really needs to concentrate on her studies. Aoa! No!
Another caller complained that she feels guilty that she stole her first-born’s childhood by giving birth to the second child. The first child is 5 and the second child is 8 months. This poor mother was sobbing her heart out at the guilt she feels for not being able to give her oldest child more attention! Gaad No!
My friend, Solele, has 2 children with an age gap of 20 months. During her second pregnancy she was really stressed because she felt the gap was too small but now she believes it is a God-send! They get along so well and look out for each other that she doesn’t feel that the gap is a problem.
Getting back to the guilty mother’s on the show – I just wanted to tell the studying mother to get her child into a routine that includes a lights-out curfew of 20:00. Works for me… It takes a while to get them to get used to it but you then have such a great time when they have settled that it is worth it.
Why are we subjecting ourselves to guilt when we are not hurting our children?
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