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TheTVObserver: Sexual Novelty v Monogamy

Written by TheObserver from the blog TheTVObserver on 11 Feb 2009
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Zooming In On Men…..is an interesting show. Season 1 was a complete nightmare and very excruciating to watch. Then Pepsi took the reigns as presenter. I don’t know if it made a difference because all the people who may be watching that show are over at SuperSport getting a good dose of variety in their sport broadcasts, whilst others are at a golf game. For some reason I don’t see a Laduma crown enjoying Zooming In On Men. The last thing they need is a metrosexual looking guy try to discuss who they are and what they do.


I really pity the people who are stuck with free TV, what little choice you have. It’s like serving under Mugabe’s government. Choice is a punishable offense. I continued to observe free TV because it has the largest audience in this country, so do the math. Example…Prison Break premiers a most recent season on Mnet and SABC3 is busy with archives and the majority of this population has no idea. So……like Jam Alley’s VMash would say “Obvious!“

Anyway, this week the show was discussing monogamy. First of all, excuse me but you have to see how hilarious this is. Men discussing monogamy, C’mon! If they could they would sleep with every women, or men – for those who swing in interesting directions, in this whole planet


Monogamy the state of having only one husband, wife, or sexual partner at any one time. Sexual monogamy refers to two persons/creatures who remain sexually exclusive with one another and have no outside sex partners, and Marital monogamy refers to marriages of only two people.


Until this dude came on to argue how unnatural monogamy is amongst human beings. It got me thinking……is it natural for humans to be with one person, either when married or just a plain old relationship? Or are we designed to whore around until we reach a point where our bodies can’t take any more?

Is it humanly possible?….do you think you can do it?. To go without fantasies and wishing you hard an even better model than the one you have? We are in a world where monogamy has become an ancient practice of the now grey and shrunken species of humans. So how possible is this?


A recent article in Psychology Today profiles a therapist/author who suggests that married men with low libido can overcome this difficult situation if they just do it. According to this article, “their low sex drive often has little to do with hormones or biology and a lot to do with the women in their lives. Men today, often enough, are angry at their wives.” Readers are told that, “In the presence of a mismatch of desire, all intimacy drops out on all levels in addition to the sexual. Couples stop having meaningful conversations.”


You may be committed to monogamy but the person you find attractive and possibly end up with in a relationship or marry, may very well be the whore of Babylon. If you not lucky he or she is the King or Queen whore of Babylon.

Why do we ask the dreaded question….”how many men/women have you been with?”

You know it’s a dangerous question to ask, because if Babylon said “85” or “150” what will you do….vomit your entire lunch?. You asked the bloody question, you must be willing to take the answer. I once meet this guy through a friend who slept with over 500 women and he was very proud of it. You just felt violated standing next to him. I used to tell everyone I met about him so that the ladies could avoid him like pestilence.


A significant number of humans cheat…why? I don’t have answers to that question. All I know is that men find being with one person your entire life to be abnormal. So is being virgin when male. Whilst women don’t find a men without experience very attractive nor is virgin male. So whose fault is it?


Due to sexism and women's economic dependence on men throughout most of history, men could usually "get away with" extra-marital affairs, mistresses, sexual relationships with prostitutes, and even having several wives because womenís powerless economic and political position forced them to accept any and all behavior from their husbands. Women were much less at liberty to stray outside of marriage and have other relationships. This was partly because their primary responsibility for home and children seriously restricted their mobility, partly due to lack of effective birth control methods, and partly because the "adulteress" was usually severely punished by society for her transgression. However, the philandering husband generally was tolerated with a "boys will be boys" attitude. Unfortunately, this situation continues in most of the world.


Whilst talking to Pepsi, the anti-monogamy guy speaks of a club he runs with his wife were people walk around naked and they swap partners. He then started explaining how the things his wife may do to your husband and what he may do to your wife, may encourage you or your wife to surprise each other in bed. NO NO NO NO! NAH NO! HELL NO. My opinion is.... tell me your secrets don’t show me how…..maybe if you had animated dolls. I can teach myself and my partner HOW!



You now I can accommodate toys to spice things up but swapping partners…nah. Either you are with me or not. If I don’t please you, tell me and we can go our separate ways. If you are married tough *bleep!*, till death do us part! Consider your self unsatisfied until you die. For better or worse….I guess you have worse.

Some non-monogamous people are married or live with a "primary" lover or spouse, but occasionally have casual sexual relationships outside their marriages. Other people oppose marriage and have more than one committed long-term relationship concurrently. Still others are in "group marriages," living with several adults who share sexual and spousal relationships. Other people are inclined toward many relationships of a less committed nature, and are not seeking marriage or long-term relationships.


"But how can you have sex with someone and not become emotionally attached? Unless that person happens to be a prostitute and even then some men do become emotionally attached." Said one person who prefers to remain anonymous.

Well I don’t know, all I can say is be honest. Tell the person you are with that you not going to be happy with just that relationship you want to supersize your options.


"Having multi-sex partners or an open relationship - is hard - I've been in a couple and no matter what people say - jealousy does creep into ... in that people will always compare themselves to others - ie is he bigger than me, did she feel hotter than me, dis he....?? does she ...??? an so on .... detaching your emotions form the sex act can be done - but then to me I have always figured what's the point? Sexual fulfilmet is much to do with emotions as with the physical ..... so for me multi-sex partners in theory is great - in practise leads to a lot of resentment an hostility ... better to have one partner at a time - even if it last only 1 week .... " Said another case study

Men, especially, are designed by evolution to be attracted to sexual novelty and to gradually lose sexual attraction to the same partner in the absence of such novelty. Men are always visual whilst women are emotional. When women ask men to emotion bad things start to happen. I won't go into detail.

These two were discussing the discovery of a gene which determines inferd8ility in men. No comment.

Do you think people should have one or more Lovers? Monogamy or Not?


The last guy in my research said "I can’t get enough of women. I have to look at every woman who walks by. I watch porn, I flirt, I keep in touch with past girlfriends, I make new ones, I browse for women online. I get up to 30 e-mails a day from women. Once I have seduced them online, they are dying to meet me and usually sleep with me on the first date. Then I find the simplest flaw and use that against them to break it off. They are devastated. They feel I have used them sexually, and they are right."

I guess the prayer folks need to pay him an extra special visit.

By TheTVObserver
International Blog: http://www.thetvobserver.blogspot.com/
© 2009. TheTVObserver. All Rights Reserved.
Pictures used on TheTVObserver graphics and information sourced from third parties are the property of their respective owners. All rights reserved.


Read other entries by TheTVObserver CLICK HERE

Disclaimer
The information provided here is not journalistic but simply observations and the opinions expressed by TheTVObserver and guests, which are strictly their own. TheTVObserver does not claim credit of any kind for any images shown on this blog unless otherwise noted. Usually we try to give credit when and where we can. The rights or copyrights to content, copy and images on TheTVObserver belong to the respective owner(s). If you own rights to an image and do not wish it to appear here, you may contact this blog at mailtheobserver (at) yahoo.com and it will be removed. The TV Observer is not responsible for, and does not have control over, the content of any external Web site links shown on this site. Written text on this site is copyrighted by The TV Observer, except as clearly noted and duly sourced. Information featured on TheTVObserver can contain errors or inaccuracies, although we try all in our power to avoid this. We do however not make warranty as to the correctness or reliability of the blog’s sourced content. Material copyrighted to TheTVObserver may not be used elsewhere without written permission. TheTVObserver invites your comments, this blog was created to inspire thoughtful dialogue and conversations with one another for shared experiences and insights. While TheTVObserver encourages debate, the comment portion of the blog is not intended as a forum for personal attacks and destructive postings. If that is your intention in commenting, we ask that you go elsewhere.



15 Comments

nice
11 Feb 2009 08:29

The thought of this is exactly what makes me to be against marriages and sleeping with any man!!

It is even more dangerous in the times we live in because of HIV/AIDS, maybe I should really consider being a nun so I may never be abused by these sexually starved people.

Ms. Jay
11 Feb 2009 09:11

It’s like serving under Mugabe’s government. Choice is a punishable offense

Once I read this comment I got put off your article. I find this statement very offensive. Please retract it and apologise. I have never had a problem with your articles and enjoy reading them but this statement is not called for.

I do not have any political affliations with Zanu PF or MDC nor do I wish to associate myself with politics of any state but I feel that you are being insensitive to people of Zimbabwe who face struggles that I doubt you would be able to comprend.

TheObserver
11 Feb 2009 12:50

Dear Jael

Thank you, for your comment.

Regarding your point, I am in no way trying to make fun or ridicule people of Zimbabwe. Although the sentence is troubling to you, note that people of Zimbabwe would not agree that they have a choice. Maybe now that MDC’s President has just been sworn in as Prime Minister a couple of minutes ago.

The reason why Zimbabwe is in this mess, is that their ability to exercise choice was completely eliminated, hence the assaults by police, banning of the media, and most importantly refusing to accept the first election which meant MDC was the new party to control government. Although my point was not political or intended to insult or as you put “put people off”. Choice is a critical component of every society and when people do not have the ability to exercise their choice as guaranteed by democratic standards of government. We end up with a very troubling state of affairs as witnessed in Zimbabwe.

Do I think Mugabe is a bad President?, results of his presidency seem to suggest so. However, one has to acknowledge that Mugabe is without doubt one of the most interesting Presidents in Africa. I am sure that he did not intend on landing Zimbabwe where it is now. After all, he was the pioneer behind Zimbabwe’s liberation. As for the kids who have died of cholera, people who have died at the hands of their government due to violence, lack of medical resources and the list goes. That is alarming and a source of sleepless nights for most like me, because those people were trying to exercise their choice and they got punished. When we study those factors and spend time with NGO’s working night and day to help people from that country, we realize that CHOICE is very important.

As for the context of the figure of speech….FREE TV viewers do not have a good choice of television programming and ICASA must and should do better to regulate content to ensure that the millions of people who currently cannot access satellite television, and most probably will not afford even the new entrants, are guaranteed a good selection of shows and television events. The biggest lesson was the PSL and SuperSport rights issue. We should also not forget that Satellite has very few audiences as compared to FREE TV, yet it does not have access to all the best shows soon after their international availability. The programming, especially international programming structure in South Africa is not affair to a majority of South African viewers. I am sure if the FREE TV viewers were asked what type of programming CHOICE they would like to have, it will not be similar to the current state of programming affairs.

Thank you for reading TheTVObserver and we appreciate your comment, just as we enjoy reading all other comments on the blog.

TheTVObserver

Cande
11 Feb 2009 13:01

haiye ngeke, do people actually sleep with other partners with their spouses knowing??

TheLady
11 Feb 2009 13:07

It's called swinging Cande, it's a trend thet black people are now adopting...swingers parties everywhere...imagine watching you partner doing/being done by someone.

Sdudla
11 Feb 2009 13:31

I've noticed that the majority of couples (especially the male half of the couple) that are into swinging are the most unattractive people ever. Take the tubby (monogamy is unnatural guy (being interviewed by Pepsi) for instance. I really wonder why?

Onna
11 Feb 2009 13:38

Hawu Jael why so sensitive about something that was obviously meant to be funny?Nice one, the observer, serious with funny comments.
These are excuses men use to whore around there is no such thing as the infedelity geene. There are men out there who can have one partner for years and they are still going strong, sexually i mean. Its just a matter of finding balance and being happy with choices you made. Sort of u made yo ben now lie on it till death do u part.
 

u4me
11 Feb 2009 13:46

we are a sick nation, period. Swinging, Bestiality, Incest .............the list is endless. where are we going, what will become of us. Divine intervention is rerequired a.s.a.p

Ms. Jay
11 Feb 2009 14:35

Onna -  its not meant to FUNNY!!!! Anti - Semitism is not amusing and neither are Xenophobic comments

Thank you TV Observer however offense was taken. unless you are Zimbabwean you cant come here and make jokes about Zimbabweans. Its good that you spend sleepness nights over their plight but try going 3 days without a hot and decent meal.

Unfortunately the very "reliable" media have potrayed him as a very bad man when in actual fact if you dug back to 10 years ago you will now how all these things came to be. Mr. Mugabe is not the only problem in Zimbabwe the same people who had no "choice" are. 

kgapatswe
12 Feb 2009 09:57

I think being faithful and loyal to one partner is a decision one makes we are all tempted at one time or another but choose to remain faithful All other reasons are just really excuses and a sign of weakness that should never ever be condoned or encouraged at all.

Khwezi.
12 Feb 2009 19:13

Jael...i can't believe you would defend the very same man who recently proclaimed that there was no cholera in Zimbabwe, was responsible for all the violence...the list goes on. As far as i'm concerned, he deserves all the slack he can get

andi01
13 Feb 2009 08:52

Dear Jael

I feel you on the comments above, however this article isn’t about discussing Zimbabwe or Mugabe. This is a great article, let us refrain from using other people’s creative articles as a platform to state and throw up our vendettas, vengeance, dissatisfaction or whatever. I think if u not happy about that statement, you can always PM the author instead of messing the whole article.

andi01
13 Feb 2009 08:57

The observer

Until this dude came on to argue how unnatural monogamy is amongst human beings. It got me thinking- I have to agree with this guy, no matter how much I luv a person, I always have room for a spare wheel, not that I do it all the time. The only thing that restricts me from having multiple partners is my religion.

Ms. Jay
13 Feb 2009 09:02

Andi01 - take your own advice as well - you have done the same in the past -

This was a good article - remember that what may offend me may not do the same for you - we should not be putting down other people in our articles - please read the reminder from TVSA that was posted on Monday.

Thank you for reminding me that I have other options of "throwing up our vendettas, vengeance, dissatisfaction or whatever"

I asked for an apology and retraction of that statement made about the President of Zimbabwe whether lawfull or not.

Venusseed
14 Feb 2009 00:33

The last thing they need is a metrosexual looking guy try to discuss who they are and what they do. Ehhh.... if men feel irritated by the " metrosexual looking guy" they got issues with their looks.

I really pity the people who are stuck with free TV, what little choice you have. Me too shame. I hate it when my friends discuss Desperate Housewives kante they are talking about History.

Or are we designed to whore around until we reach a point where our bodies can’t take any more? If that was true there wouldn't be marriage. 

“their low sex drive often has little to do with hormones or biology and a lot to do with the women in their lives. Men today, often enough, are angry at their wives.” If men could stop marrying people who resemble their mothers they will stop chasing after the sexy hot women. These women can also make good wives with an added bonus: " Good kinky sex between two people"

 If they would stop marrying women for looking like they have the right looks: " A mother of three, a good cook, eater and feeder,etc. I mean Heidi Klum, Victoria Beckam. Hello? Nothing wrong with women who look like they are 10 years older than their age. But I blame their men for not encouraging them to befriend the gym, divorce the take-aways, cut the calories, embrace the mirror and become lionesses in bed. Anyway stop marrying for the sake of belonging, security and having kids. Even love alone is not enough.

Nice one, TVObserver....


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