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The Second Time Around

Written by madomado from the blog Blue Couch on 31 Mar 2009
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The Second Time Around 

You see your ex and somehow all of a sudden you find them overly attractive again. Even worse, they are with someone else that looks almost like you. Now you are convinced there’s still something there.

Is it ever a good idea to “go at it again”? 

What should you look out for in a lover that wants to “try it again”? 

What are the chances that it will work when it actually failed the first time around? 

I think some of the reasons you could decide to give it a second chance are: 

Reason #1. You remained good friends after the break-up and if he’s such a good listener and you still have so much in common, why not just make it all official, commit and settle down? 

Reason #2. Now that you think about it, your ex was actually the best “in bed”. You haven’t met anyone that measures up. He had one amazing piece of meat - and the way it used to vibrate a 'lil when all the veins in his body would be directing his blood to one place only - still puts your stomach in a knot. (by the way guys, what does it mean to you when a girl calls out your surname when she orgs? some man said the first thing that comes to his mind is his grandfather.lol)

moving on...
Reason #3. You are lonely. Since you broke up, you haven’t really had anyone close, you really miss your ex, and every other thing reminds you of them and the good times you had. Every song that plays on the radio takes you back to some moment and every street corner reminds you of the night you had a fight and he said "step out of my car". Or maybe every striped shirt reminds you of the one you got him on some anniversary. - Shem

Reason #4. You are jealous. You keep comparing yourself to the other partners they had since the break-up. All of a sudden, you see him/her as such a good lover from a distance. And phela some "now-girlfriends le bona they just have a way of saying "kuphethe mina, manje" - how depressing.

Reason #5. Even though he used to be abusive, he now vows that he has changed, and you think you believe him. I know this has been overly discussed. I'm just putting it here coz some guys still make a mark on your face and say "lets see now, who's gonna love you," and think that when he comes back after three years you will jump into his arms to quench your cerebos.

Reason #6. You both think you were too young the first time around, and you still needed to gain a bit of independence, and you are now more mature and able to make the big decision to commit. mghm.. you should just make sure you do all the necessary blood tests. The word "independent" comes with a lot of abbreviated tags these days.

Reason #7. You are still very much “in love” with each other (whatever that means). 

Reason #8. Or maybe you both just happened to be in the right(or wrong) place at the right(or wrong) time. You lock eyes and touch blood. Now you think "the spark is there" - how pathetic!

So, bloggers, when is it totally a bad idea to get back together? 

Which reason is just totally pathetic? 

How can you be sure that it is going to work the second time around? 

Once you actually start-over, what should you do differently to avoid a second break-up? Is it okay if you just tread carefully around the issues that caused the break-up, so as to avoid a second one? 

Have you ever had to *do it over*? Did it work? How? 



11 Comments

Toodecent
31 Mar 2009 21:39

mathata
31 Mar 2009 21:48

it works with eyes,mentally No....,is either you use each other,it will be only sex.

But if you expert more.............make sure you have clinax.

cnhlanhla
31 Mar 2009 21:58

Have you ever had to *do it over*? Did it work? How? 

well, i have...we started dating when i was 16yrs, and boy was i stubborn. i only wanted things done my way and my way only.secondly i was still a virgin and had made a promise to myself that i was going to keep me till i was 21yrs. 

we therefore only lasted f a year the first time around and broke up....we kept friends & when i was doing matric 18yrs now he came back and asked that we give it a shot again, i said yes as the spark was still there.

well it run it course and i broke up with him when i was 21yrs...for a different reason this time around...

what i am trying to say here is there is no telling/ guarantee that the second time around will work or not.

Foxxy
01 Apr 2009 00:06

If he was abusive, physically or emotionally or whatever, DON'T go back there. Leopard... spots... You know that saying...

TheLady
01 Apr 2009 09:55

Ama remix bantu wooo...It's difficult to sya don't go back there, coz we really cannot predict the future-unless the relationship was really toxic-then it makes no sense to re-live it again.

Best-Achiever
01 Apr 2009 10:04

Great article Madomado ... missed your articles.

My x pleaded with me many many times to get back with him(we broke up after he cheated on me), he promised not to do it again and wara wara, how stupid he was for doing it in the first place... But nah, im too analytic and have trust issues, so i wasnt gonna be able to trust him and our "re-union" was bound to fail before it could even start ... so i think i'd never get back with someone after we broke up ... i cant put my mind pass what separated us in the first place, and it would be difficut for me to love with reservations.

felfel
01 Apr 2009 10:15

I' never go back, i'm a die hard at love when I love and that love cannot be repeated, it don't have the same effect and i never trust that his does either. 
The thing is once you show me who you really are, then to me thats who you are and nothing will ever change that, i can remain very good friends with him but the love completely dies.

KeleFabulous
01 Apr 2009 13:40

the only time i'd ever go back is if we were at the same space(s) meaning we both want the same things out of the relationship, reasons for getting back together complement each other. ohterwise if he just wants to bump you one more time and you want a solid commitment then don't bother. and no matter what lies he may spin intuition will tell you if he's lying and it'll be up to you to listen to your instincts or not

Vesa
01 Apr 2009 13:51

But nah, im too analytic and have trust issues, so i wasnt gonna be able to trust him and our "re-union" was bound to fail before it could even start ... so i think i'd never get back with someone after we broke up ... i cant put my mind pass what separated us in the first place, and it would be difficut for me to love with reservations.

@ BA.....Soo true! The same applies to me....the relationship won't be the same

carino
01 Apr 2009 17:21

HARAMBE24
02 Apr 2009 11:50

Another boring article..TJEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRR...Nna i need love back if i still havent had enough of sex with you...i need to use that dick to its maximum capabilty....


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