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I Am Disgusted!

Written by KeleFabulous from the blog Scorpio on 15 May 2009
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I know it's friday and this can be somewhat of a heavy one for this time but I just had to offload.

This morning in the canteen a very old man (he works in the canteen), older than my dad even, says something that grabs my attention. Now you know how we blacks are, when someone that old calls you over you answer with respect like "yebo, baba?". This stupid old man says something along the lines of I look so hot he could rip off my clothes and do me right there. In Zulu/Sotho (can't remember as my brain just completely shut down after this). He went on to say more but my mind had just stopped and I don't know what else he said. I was horrified! So much so that I didn't say anything and just walked away.

Me and my team then sat down to have our breakfast and the whole time this whole thing just kept rerunning in my mind. I told my teammates and one of the lady I work with says he's just the type of man to say something like that. I felt well this is wrong and if he's been doing it and getting away with it then I have to put a stop to it. I went and asked for the manager and asked the manager to call him over as what I wanted to say I had to say in front of him. He came over looking all worried now cos his boss is calling him and I'm standing with him. The idiot didn't even deny it. Said something trivial like "it was a joke...!" I mean really, he's older than my own dad and my dad would never say something like that even to someone his own age! Sies maan...

Now unfortunately for the bugger it so happened that the Project Manager as well as the big boss of this chain of canteens was there and the manager asked me to go over to them and tell them too, which I was more than happy to do. I am now about to meet with their HR person (which reminds me i must get going now!) and this whole thing is just basically very serious.

I don't like it when I have to be the one to put someone else's job on the line but this kind of behaviour is really intolerable and for someone to just make remarks like that and think it's ok is beyond me. Some blakc men really need to change with the times!

60 Comments

KeleFabulous
15 May 2009 13:31

this is really traumatising bathong!

TheLady
15 May 2009 13:37

I hate attention from grandpas!!!

Way to go Kele-you'll prbably feel bad because his job might be on the line now-but he deserves to know that women do appreciate those kind of comments.

BigMama
15 May 2009 13:43

It is really but why didn´t you first talk to the old man about how you feel and see his reaction. l think you took it too far especially if it was the first time he said that to you. It would have been best if you tried to reason with him first .

maud
15 May 2009 13:48

do you right there? ngani ngomashwabana nxxxx sis , you go girl dont even feel any guilty he is a pig

nice
15 May 2009 13:49

Good for you girl, he will think twice before insulting any woman in future. He will learns what remarks to keep to himself, jokes or no jokes. The old men used to traumatise me in taxis and spaza shops but was never brave enough to do anything about it, but I developed so much hatred that I thought one day is one day, I will stab the idiot who passes rude remarks with the bottle

About his job, I would also feel sorry for him as he still needs it dear. maybe you can motivate to HR that they dont fire him but give him a warning letter and that should be enough to teach him a lesson.

TheLady
15 May 2009 13:52

I think I'd have reacted like Kele-I wouldn't even have had breakfast too. I wouldn't try to reason without who thinks there are people who enjoy listening to some crude remarks from old man.

The man says it was a joke-hell it ain't funny. And if Kele went overboard HR will speak to her. UKele is not there to deal with sex starved pervets, she is suppose to feel safe e office if not-she can let HR know they'll deal with whoever is making her uncomfortable. Akezwe ke umkhulu ukuthi umdlalo unjani.

odie
15 May 2009 14:01

guess - i am so sorry to go off - topic.
- i have a presentation to do and @ myname the english is not a problem but i get bored doing presentation, i am hurt because forced also i am so horny.

back to topic,

i hate that, BUT you should have talked to him first Mrs Kele, what if he losses his job my dear? lets hope not neh

goldii
15 May 2009 14:11

Well done Kele. You did the right thing. Had you been in some dark corner I cannot imagen what he would have done to you. If he does get fired good for you. Peadophiles lurk everywhere nowadays.

You did nothing wrong, had you let it go it might have led to sexual haressment and what not. You did the right thing by not talking to him directly and reporting him to his manager.

Well done

goldii
15 May 2009 14:15

Another thing. If he is old enough to be your grandfather he should have known better.

We have a problem with rape in this country and I bet you it starts as a suggestive joke by some pervet and soon enough they act on that pervesion.

Katlegom
15 May 2009 14:19

i understand that you didnt like what that man said to you but getting him worried is really getting too extreme

I think you should have just informed him gore you are not not impressed and you dont like what he said and left there

HARAMBE24
15 May 2009 14:20

I think Kele over-reacted nje

Best-Achiever
15 May 2009 14:26

that'sa bit extreme

cleve
15 May 2009 14:29

Kele, I also think that you should have spoken to him first and let him know how you feel and where you come from. Who knows maybe he could have apologised to you. I understand but what makes me sad is how many kids will be starving again about something that could have been sorted between you two.

That's my take.

Toxic
15 May 2009 14:35

If he does get fired good for you. Peadophiles lurk everywhere nowadays.

At what age do people stop becomin paedophile victims?

Kele, please tell us what happened after your meeting with the HR people.

Ms. Jay
15 May 2009 14:39

I agree with the talking over it bit btwn the 2 of you and not taking it as far as it has gone now, but Kele also mentioned that this was not the first time grampa passed comments like that - he has a reputation for it......so he has it coming to him -

thats sexual harrasement and gramps should have thought about the repercutions of his actions before he opened his gob - kele could have been his bosses wife or child then what??? he got was coming to him - if it was no Kele it would have been someone else.....you eventually reap what you sow - end of story

TheLady
15 May 2009 14:41

"At what age do people stop becomin paedophile victims?"

LOL

Sana Lwam
15 May 2009 14:45

Maybe people are just different but I don’t think taking all those measures were really necessary.

I mean ifana ne security guards/construction people/ taxi drivers most of them everytime a gal passes by they will make a comment like: “...waze wamuhle wentombi, uma ungangi bamba ngoKiss(i) nginga cama manje...” or something like that. Maybe if ubuphoxe eloxhego lishwabane or just tell him that you don’t appreciate that esp. From a person of his age, he would have understood.

Now, how will you feel when the man gets fired becoz chances are he will never get any other job for his age....and you do not know his responsibilities.

....then again abantu abafani!!! But I personally wouldn't have done what you did!

Firstdvd
15 May 2009 14:45

Poor man! Don't go to hr pls

nice
15 May 2009 14:52

But guys, have you got any idea how this old men get like, when you tell them nicely that you dont appreciate their rude remarks. Its like you are saying " bring more insults"

Kele you did well by not tolerating nonsense. HR will not go as far as firing him if it is the first complaint, but from now I can assure you that he will not be uttering gibberish to young ladies

Mathaz
15 May 2009 14:58

I think he violated your rights and i also hate men like that and on the other hand it would be sad if he loses his job but his attitude shows that he does not respect women.

Msoe
15 May 2009 15:03

Mina I say Kele did good. You know when you are being harassed you dont think about other people who might be affected, you act on impulse and that what Kele did. She might not have wanted the old man to get fired but she wanted revenge on this dirty old man. I think he should have thought of his kids while he made that remark. Obviously he didnt think of them than why does Kele have to think of them when their own flesh and blood didnt? Kele you did good gal, bigs up.

felfel
15 May 2009 15:21

I blame the first manager Kele reported the old man to, that manager surely has the authority to go up to the old man and tell him that he doesn't appreciate the way he is treating his customers and let him know thats a verbal warning.
That manager didn't have to include other people at that first incident. I'm sure loyababa would have got the message from then on. The matter didn't have to go to HR that quick.

ms.tebby
15 May 2009 15:21

I want to read but not on a friday, on friday i get so hyper & cant concentrate ...but kele im so sorry you sound so very disgusted....sorry my friend you are Fabolous

FoxyT
15 May 2009 15:27

I understand that we, as women, should stand our ground and speak out for ourselves. That man propably deserves whatever that may come his way but lets think about it for a second.... What about his children and any other person out there who he might be supporting? He should just learn his lesson and understand what he did was wrong but not really take it to the extreme. But I guess at the end of the day some really bad people are out there in the street because we feel they are providing for the family. Bottom line..its your decision to make.

Ngqesta
15 May 2009 15:31

ngani ngomashwabana nxxxx sis ....yho I can't stop laughing at this.

Guys.....everyone who reckons Kele over-reacted most probably has never had this sort of thing happen to them. When you get to subjected to this kind of nonsense you get this bag of emotions ranging from feeling violated to horrified to disgusted so much you just wanna puke right there and then. Mna I think uright Kele....he'll think twice before he lets his oversexed mind makes him so delusional that he sees things that will NEVER happen.....sies man! Hayi am disgusted nam ngoku!

Olwethuthando
15 May 2009 15:33

@Kele, you did the right thing girl, i had the same situation here at work with this old man he's married with kids same age as mine i don't know what was he looking for but i did manage to stop him before it went far, coz he was telling me that he loves me he wants to take care of me as if i can't take care of ma self....i told him to go and kill himself if he can't leave without his family coz there will never be anything between us.....I SAID BIG UPS TO U GIRL U DID THE RIGHT THING......feel sorry if he can lose his job but "uzofunda isifundo ukuthi angaphinde akhulume ukukhohlakala!!!!!"

belz
15 May 2009 15:35

Shame Kele, askies.

Ngqesta
15 May 2009 15:40

Guys...I don't get it.....are you saying she should have tolerated being harrassed by this old man for the sake of his children. Why should she be thinking about the children when the father obviously does not give a damn...coz if he did he sure would have known how to behave at work or would have at least known of of the consequences of such a behaviour. The fact that he still has the guts to say it was meant to be a joke for implies ukuba he still sees nothing wrong with it and would have continued with it until someone teaches him a lesson. Besides, you guys do not even know for sure if this pervet does look after his kids afterall.

Linomtha
15 May 2009 15:40

Kele i think the old men need a warning letter or He even deserve to be fired how dare him say something like that?

Sorry Kele if this old men spoil your day.

TheLady
15 May 2009 15:45

I doubt grandpa will his job-but I believe he won't be making these remarks anymore-Mina I agree with Kele maybe because ngiyacasuka noma ngabe umkhulu looked at me funny.

suzzy82
15 May 2009 15:45

ndimthuka umadala ananamanyala mna shem abande sure , and when u pass him the next day he'll look down and let u pass with out a greeting and keep his dirty comments in him

teev
15 May 2009 15:47

Oh man, sorry Kelefsss!!

***waving, waving**@ Linomtha-yho igama lam lomzi nkosi yam.

belz
15 May 2009 15:52

he'll think twice before he lets his oversexed mind makes him so >>>> ROFL!!!

Linomtha
15 May 2009 15:56

**** Waving my both hands too****elam lomzi nguBamanye Lol....

Ngqesta
15 May 2009 16:01

Yho Linomtha that is such huge responsibility sis Bamanye

Linomtha
15 May 2009 16:09

Sana Lwam Friend the old guy must first look his responsibilities before he pass the nasty words to young ppl. Kele darling you did the rite thing, Sometimes when we shocked we dont no how to handle things BUT wena wenze into erite dont regret what you did sis.

Linomtha
15 May 2009 16:12

@Ngqesta what i dont is ndiBamanya xa behlulwe yintoni phofu?? Hayi iBlacks ngamagama-aStrange.

Green.arrow
15 May 2009 16:19

Askies Kele ausi...

"But guys, have you got any idea how this old men get like, when you tell them nicely that you dont appreciate their rude remarks. Its like you are saying " bring more insults" .....very very true...u cud say thenext thing is to start shouting but for sum of us its very hard...the next best thing is to report him...
I wonder how many vulnarable women fell for all that.....bcos its probably a habit...
This old men mara...
BTW its not just black men....i do not trust white old men at all....take a walk in fernadle..u'll be soo traumatised...

Brown Shuga
15 May 2009 16:23

<<<<BTW its not just black men....i do not trust white old men at all....take a walk in fernadle..u'll be soo traumatised.>>> Too true!!! AND Indian old men (as in 40-50's)

You did well Kele. How would that old man feel if it was his daughter who had to deal with that nonsense.

babetm
15 May 2009 16:26

sorry to go off topic guys &i hope u will forgive me Kele, i need more friends on FB PLEASE PM me for more details

Foxxy
15 May 2009 21:04

What's the issue here? the fact that he's old or what? Would you have done the same if he were 25 or 30? If not then you're discriminating against him based on his age. You're over 18 so he's not a pedophile, and he's not your dad...

My point is its what he did not his age that we should be complaining about.

nice
16 May 2009 16:45

My point is its what he did not his age that we should be complaining about.

Nna what I have an issue about is what he said at his age. I can handle a young man saying "I look so hot he could rip off my clothes and do me right there" because I can easily tell him where to get off.

But from an older person that I respect , I expect respect and will not tolerate "ukushelwa wumkhulu" especially the part about clothes.

Cande
16 May 2009 19:07

But i think reporting him to hte manager was enough or you should have screamed at him umphoxe right there. Taking it to HR is a bit extreme, i am not being insensitive but this man didnt undress you mos he just made those remarks. I dont know but that is how i see it. This things happen all the time amongs colleagues.. You should just ignore him and make sure he knows that as a result of wht he said you dont like him..

Brown Shuga
16 May 2009 19:31

Hayi guys, just becoz it happens all the time doesn't make it less serious. SEXUAL HARASSMENT is wrong and should KELE have waited 4 him to rape her be4 reporting it? This is 2009 and by now even people who work in canteens know that behaviour is wrong. KELE, if they don't take action against that man, the LAW allows u to take action against the COMPANY for that man's actions & u'll get paid for the trauma.

Firstdvd
16 May 2009 20:07

Things won't be the same again in your canteen.......Think about it

Dimago
16 May 2009 23:12

please report back after HR

sweetie my baby
17 May 2009 18:58

i have a big fat "OH PLEASE" to everyone who says kele should have talked to the guy first...

guys, on the planet I live on, these types are NEVER willing to listen to you as a woman when you express how upset you are over their sexist bullsh!t - i really don't understand why kele should be made to feel guilty that this fool will be disciplined by management.

you did the right thing, girl. people who behave badly only feel honestly sorry when they are punished HARSHLY - and i doubt he'll get fired, but he WILL get a good scare, some kind of warning, and most importantly, will probably NEVER open his mouth again to talk such crap to another woman - which is the point, akere...

we should stop excusing a$$holes behaviour and victimising people who act out against the nonsense. why are some bloggers saying 'poor guy' about this fool??? WHY??? i wonder about us sometimes, ka nnete.

10 out of 10 Kele, you've just scored a major one for the side. nice work.

Lady D
17 May 2009 19:55

Kele,you did the right,men like him poses a danger to society,with the current situation like we have in SA where a baby as young as six months get raped by this older pigs,we just can't tolerate this animal behaviour anymore,i can't believe there are people who think you've overacted,like really now.If he gets fired,dont feel any guilt,he brought that upon himself,let him go and explain to his wife and kids why he got fired.Make sure you see this to the end!

Paralyzer
17 May 2009 21:25

I agree a little with foxxy, why do a lot of replies make it seem that if the guy was a few years younger, then it would be okay?! You did the right thing coz he made u feel uncomfortable and harassment should not b tolerated!

Lela
18 May 2009 00:19

Why is it that people always feel sorry for the victimiser and end up victimising the victim all the more? mfmm, this is the reason why I never reported the guy who raped me cz I knew I was gonna be victimised all the more. This is the same reason I was angry with my family for not taking action against the uncle who molested me,nxxxxxxaaaaa,I don't even know why I'm responding to this article,the responses just opened old wounds.

Ngoku ndimdala anganya umtu oke wandithinta cz now I know better nditsho even a person who makes such a comment I will take the same steps, arrrrrrrrha sies umntu omdala nogal!!!!!!!

Brown Shuga
18 May 2009 00:27

Oh Lela....oh my word...I don't know what to say!

Heartsbreaker
18 May 2009 01:12

i think some people are being ignorant because they havent experienced this kind of things.wena kele you did the right thing that old timer needed to be told where to getoff nxaa.i hate it when old men have this kind of utterances its disgusting and i thought that those types are only found at taxi ranks.sorry to hear about that lela....sorry mane.

KeleFabulous
18 May 2009 12:18

I thank all those who are in support of my decision, though i have not yet read all the replies.

There are things people (men) can easily get away with - such as we ntombi umhle i can be your daddy blah blah blah. that is no insult. but a man just saying what he said like that and not think twice about saying it - like Jael said - you reap what you sow. And as for his job, this i am not doing this so he can loose his job. and if he does, unfortunately that will be the price he pays and the mouths that starve as a result (as someone said) - taht will also be of his own doing. i am responsible for no one but myself and my child. really now. if his job was so precious then he should have done whatever it took to preserve it. Old as he is he should know the difference between right and wrong. i doubt he will lose his job though, mara he needs to learn. and i will say it again, should he lose his job, it will be no one's fault but his own.

Tox - he's been suspended. the hearing's on thursday. you won't believe waht madeup stories(versions) i'm hearing about exactly waht happened. in any case that's to be expected as his colleagues are trying to protect him. funny that no one came forward and said "i heard what happened" when their manager asked if anyone had heard anything.

KeleFabulous
18 May 2009 12:27

What's the issue here? the fact that he's old or what?

it's both doll. even younger men won't say things like that when trying to "pick up" a lady and yena fact that at his own age he should've known better makes it worse. there's no discrimination there.

KeleFabulous
18 May 2009 12:33

Lela i don't even know what to say...it's like my manager said - if he sees nothing wrong with saying things like that, these are the kind of people we should be protecting our kids from personally i wouldn't want my child anywhere near him.

Green.arrow
18 May 2009 12:44

"...it's like my manager said - if he sees nothing wrong with saying things like that, these are the kind of people we should be protecting our kids from.."
oh absolutely.....

AND way to go 4 not being complacent sisi , thats how things deteriorate slowly, bcos we let them slide thinking they arnt big neough....

...we have rights, unfortunatley most ofthe time we either dont use them or we misuse them..
i certainly learnt a lot form this....dankie ne sesi Kele and all bloggers...

realist
19 May 2009 06:50

President Zuma is on record saying when a woman is ….. You know what and almost 80% of the women voted for him to be the president. So what it is the difference between him and the old man? I am not condoning the action of the old man here. BTW, what is the level of education of this old man?

All I am saying is that let us not be selective when it comes to these issues. On this one I agree with those who say you should have spoken to the old guy first before reporting him to his manager.

Astarte
19 May 2009 09:04

There is a saying that goes like " feeling is the truth", and our truths are different. However ppl view this to U Kele it was an aggrevated violation of the 1st kind and your reacion was suitable given he circumstances. We are a generation that prays for everything to be right but never wanna pay the price for anything. Mercy should be put aside and let imbisiles reap the fruits of their deeds, Thumbs up kele, the old man can't plead ignorance as it is bliss..I rest my case..ZERO TOLERANCE...

Linomtha
19 May 2009 10:29

@Realist President Zuma is on record saying when a woman is ….. You know what and almost 80% of the women voted for him to be the president. So what it is the difference between him and the old man? I am not condoning the action of the old man here. BTW, what is the level of education of this old man?

All I am saying is that let us not be selective when it comes to these issues. On this one I agree with those who say you should have spoken to the old guy first before reporting him to his manager.

Realist now you are out of the way, what this to do with Mr President? This is nothing to do with his Education the old men must watch his big mouth. I cant blv you are so defensive ngalo tata umdala.

realist
19 May 2009 12:54

@Linomtha
I cant blv you are so defensive ngalo tata umdala.

Show me where I am defensive then I will rest my case

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