Jean-Robert’s exit provoked mixed reactions from the Survivor crowd. For some, it heralded a new day, as welcome and joyful as Christmas. Why, Courtney went from looking like the Grinch who stole Christmas to looking like the same Grinch after the citizens of Whoville had shown him the true meaning of Christmas, while Todd resembled Tiny Tim. Actually, scratch that. He always looks like that.
Others however were not as pleased with the events of the previous Tribal Council. Denise hasn’t failed to notice how she had been completely left out of the loop regarding the JR vote. She was feeling a lot less trustful of her allies because of this small detail. I would not want someone like Denise on my bad side. Granted, that might be because of my policy not to piss off people who can spit in my food, but it’s still silly to needlessly alienate your allies and make them painfully aware of their own low position on the totem pole.
James tried to reassure Denise that she wasn’t the next to go. In an interview, he said that there was a chance people might switch alliances but that everyone needed to stick to the plan as the finish line was so close. Easy for you to say, dude. You have two immunity idols. You’re not going anywhere any time soon. It won’t exactly end well for Lunch-lady if this infamous plan goes smoothly.
How to lose friends and alienate people
You’d think there’d be a little less hate being thrown around camp with the absence of JR. You would be wrong. PG decided to step in and take over JR’s role as Official Camp Irritant and complain loudly about anything and everything. It’s a noble effort, PG, but you’re no JR. You need to throw in some more delusions of grandeur and a few unwanted sexual advances – maybe leer at James when he’s bending over the fire or lewdly offer to show Todd what he’s missing.
PG wasn’t all scowls and unpleasantness. During the Reward Challenge, the contestants were again divided into teams, and she came through for hers when James proved incapable of bouncing a ball on a drum. Sure, her team still lost badly, but that’s because Frosti and Erik knew what to do with bouncing balls better than Todd and PG. Funny, you’d think that would be the other way around.
As soon as she got back to camp, she went right back to pissing away any inkling of goodwill anyone had ever had towards her. “I can’t believe you ever accused me of giving up on challenges,” she told James. For some reason, she forgot to add the second part of her sentence, “except for that time I deliberately threw a challenge and admitted to it.” She then made a remark about how crap James had been at the challenge.
This got James irate. He was all “don’t play the blame game with me, loser”. What? Wasn’t he the one who went off on Jaime and PG during the infamous botch-up of an Immunity Challenge and told them they had better shape up?
Hey, James, is that your liver I see? Because you sure are being thin-skinned for someone who likes to dish it out so much.
PG could take no more of this and went off to simmer in the river for a while. She admitted that she was taking out her frustration over not winning any challenges on James and that it wasn’t smart to tick everyone off by being a loud-mouthed malcontent. At least she has self-awareness, not that that will make much difference when she’s voted out for being a loud-mouthed malcontent.
Not endorsed by the Heart Foundation
Happier times were being had by Amanda, Frosti, Courtney, and Erik, who were enjoying the reward of a riverboat cruise. The four of them were doing a little cruising of their own with each other. Frosti was more than happy to step into the role of Courtney’s toy-boy. He admitted he was attracted to her but thought she was totally out of his league. I wouldn’t consider a crotchety waitress who looks like Gollum to be in a particularly unattainable league. Maybe Frosti just has low standards.
Erik was also working his “aw shucks” brand of charm on the ladies. He managed to charm both Amanda and a goat. I don’t think the goat has a vote, Erik. Amanda interviewed how she really liked Erik and wanted to see him around as long as possible. I do not believe for a second she would keep him around any longer than he was needed. Behind the pleasant demeanour is a total hardass, not that you can tell with that constant blur.
The four of them ate themselves silly on fried chicken, unaware that an even greater amount of heart-attacks-on-plates awaited them at the IC. Jeff uncovered a feast of burgers and chips and said that if anyone sat out the challenge, they could gorge themselves. Unsurprisingly, all the former John Woos chose to stay in the challenge, along with Amanda. The surprise was that Mr Challenge Superstar himself, James, was one of the people to choose the burgers.
Todd and Courtney must have eaten their body weights in chips, while James managed to Garfield down seven burgers. As the burger-chompers made pigs of themselves, the challenge came down to PG and Frosti. This time, Frosti’s memory let him down and PG finally won something.
Twist and shout (at the TV)
Erik and Frosti bonded over their sad fates – no idol, no cheeseburgers, and both on the chopping block. The Failing alliance looked to be leaning towards Frosti, but there was still the Courtney factor to consider. Would Courtney be willing to vote off her little munchkin?
The answer soon became clear. Yes, yes, and hell yes. She added a little sad-face to her vote for Frosti. In fact, Frosti earned four sad-faces overall, which is a testament to how well-liked he was. He was gracious and good-humoured about it, so I’ll add my own sad-face to the count :-(
But wait, there was more. Jeff announced that TC was not over. What??!! Worse, before he could announce what devilish twist he had come up with this time, the credits started rolling.
JEFF, YOU SWINE!! CURSE YOU AND YOUR DEPRAVED CLIFFHANGER!!
Ahem. Here’s your Sun Tzu quote to get your mind off Jeff’s callousness. It’s a haiku:
Sweet words, honeyed lies
She’s a spider moving in
And you are the fly