When Paul illustrated how love behaves, patience came into his mind first: “Love suffers long” (1 Cor. 13:4, NKJV). Immediately after patience, he wrote that love “is kind,” showing that love and kindness so belong together that without kind¬ness no act is truly done in love!
Patience, we saw, is love forbearing. Kindness, on the other hand, implies a more active expression of love. Often patience might be manifested by doing nothing; kindness, in contrast, is manifested by what we say and do and, more important, by how we say it and do it and, even more important, why we say and do it.
Kindness is not beyond the reach of any, although it may require the sacrifice of time and energy. Kindness is a verb that reveals itself in numerous ways. And like its close cousin “love,” kindness contains incredible power; it is a witness in and of itself of what our God is like.
God’s gracious gifts are just that, gracious gifts. They are unearned and unmerited by all human beings, all of whom have willingly sinned against Him and either ignored or neglected Him. In this sense the greatest sinner is in the same boat as the holiest saint: neither deserves the kindness and goodness that God gives to us all.
Matthew 5:43-4843
"You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbour[a] and hate your enemy.' 44But I tell you: Love your enemies[b] and pray for those who persecute you, 45that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. 46If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? 47And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? 48Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.
With these verses, Jesus is calling us to be “perfect,” even as perfect as God is. How so? By loving our enemies, by praying for those who mistreat us, by being kind to those who have not been kind to us. This is how Jesus defines being “perfect.” Try to imagine what our homes, churches. workplaces would be like were we to die to self so that we actually could live this way! We would have a power and a witness against which the gates of hell could never prevail. What’s the only thing stopping us? Nothing but our sinful, vengeful hearts, which, more often than not, cause us to act like “publicans.”
What painful and deep changes must you make if you are going to follow Christ’s words in these verses?
Think for a few moments about the goodness and kindness of God toward you. Do you deserve it? Is it something that’s owed you? Are your thoughts, your deeds, your words so selfless, so holy, so loving and accepting that God is merely doing to you as you have done to others? Most likely the answer is No. And herein is a crucial point. When we realize how much God has forgiven us, when we realize that God loves us despite what we are and what we have done, then we truly can under¬stand what it means to be kind and loving to those who don’t deserve our kindness or our love. How important, then, that we keep the Cross and what it means to us, individually, before us at all times.
Proverbs 15:1–5
A gentle answer turns away wrath,
but a harsh word stirs up anger.
2 The tongue of the wise commends knowledge,
but the mouth of the fool gushes folly.
3 The eyes of the LORD are everywhere,
keeping watch on the wicked and the good.
4 The tongue that brings healing is a tree of life,
but a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit.
5 A fool spurns his father's discipline,
but whoever heeds correction shows prudence
Proverbs 25:11–15
11A word aptly spoken
is like apples of gold in settings of silver.
12 Like an earring of gold or an ornament of fine gold
is a wise man's rebuke to a listening ear.
13 Like the coolness of snow at harvest time
is a trustworthy messenger to those who send him;
he refreshes the spirit of his masters.
14 Like clouds and wind without rain
is a man who boasts of gifts he does not give.
15 Through patience a ruler can be persuaded,
and a gentle tongue can break a bone.
So often, how we treat others comes back on ourselves. That is, when we are kind, it’s so much likelier that others will be kind to us. It works the other way, too: be mean to others, and others will be mean to you, as well.
Of course, it doesn’t always happen that way. (Look at Jesus and how He was treated!) But whether it does or doesn’t, in one sense it doesn’t really matter. As Christians, we always should be kind, even if that kindness is not given back to us. In fact, as we have read, being kind to those who are unkind to us is a hallmark of being a true fol¬lower of Jesus. In general, however, how we treat others will impact how we ourselves are treated. “ ‘Therefore, whatever you want men to do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets’ ” (Matt. 7:12, NKJV).
It’s always easy to be kind to someone who could be of benefit to you down the road. Anyone will do that. What’s harder, however, is to be kind, especially when it costs you something, to those who can never do anything for you in return. That’s the real test.
As a result of more people being impatient, having short fuses and with everyone always being in a hurry - many people have lost the ability to treat others with kindness and respect. A kind word, a kind action to another person can really do wonders for them.
When you study the life of Jesus in the New Testament, you can really tell how kind He always was with other people in His dealings with them. Jesus is without question, the ultimate role model for all of us of someone who was fully operating in all 9 fruits of the Holy Spirit.
The quality of kindness will go hand in hand with the quality of love. Once the Holy Spirit starts to transmit His love up into you, the quality of kindness will follow right along with it. It will become much easier for you to be able to be kind to others once the love of God starts to flow more into your personality.
What things has God forgiven you for over the years? How should that realization help you treat those who have done things to hurt you?
Examine yourself. Is your kindness motivated by selfless and self-sacrificial love, or is it motivated even slightly by a desire to look out for number one? If it’s the latter, how can you change?
Reference: Discipleship Tools, Wikipedia, Bible Knowledge, Adult Bible Study Lesson 2010 1st Quarter – Fruits of the Spirit, Ellen G White