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Monday World Today

Written by carino from the blog Carinos Box on 29 Aug 2011
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Before we talk about anything else... BIG ANNOUNCEMENT: Arthur Mafokate is on Twitter y’all. Follow him at @arthurmafokate, poor man needs someone in his corner, everyone seems to be throwing potatoes at his newly-acclaimed relevance. Kodwa naye he’s overdoing it a bit, shem. He’s basically on Twitter 24/7, responding to each “mention. He even tweeted, “I love Twitter, it gives me immediate feedback from fans and friends."



He is so excited about his Hlokoloza song he tags it on almost his every second tweet. If it’s not “download hlokoloza”, it’s “download Chommie’s Twitter song”. Apparently there’s beef around this Hlokoloza thing and I refuse to go into it. All I’m saying is, the King of Kwaito is relevant now.

Kind of reminds me of the Queen of Gospel, Dr. Rebecca Malope announcing on Yfm the other day that she will be going into stand-up comedy. I am absolutely sure that I heard her properly. She said she has always loved comedy and she believes she has a lot of what it takes to make it. All I can hope is that the Tshabalala guy that is about to be her husband will knock her up as soon as they’ve said their vows. The baby should keep her busy enough until she realises she nearly gambled with her reputation. Bathong!

Someone else who will be kept busy is Carol Manana. It turns out congratulations are in order for Aus’Carol. She has apparently found love. The Sunday paper says usisi is head over heels with some 23-year old called Sbuda, said to be a rapper. They say mos, once you’ve gone young, you can never grow old. These young things have ample energy. cough-cough!



Talking about love and babies, Sunday World really needs to work on the way they report news. They have an 8-paragraph long story on how the Jaziel Brothers are doing good – a full story that even includes the dates of the delivery of cows to the Eastern Cape – only problem is the 9th paragraph cancels the whole thing with a quote from the supposed groom saying, “It’s not true that Im paying ilobolo. Im still trying to make ends meet, and starting a family requires time and dedication”.




My gripe is, why publish the story in the first place if its subjects have denied it? Or yet, why include the subject’s denial if you do not believe it. It kinda doesn’t make sense.

More like Debra Patta’s show. Someone needs to urgently advice her to change her “bowing out” line. Like Makisto said sometime last week, “Join us next week for more investigative journalism” is highly misleading. Her “hotseat” is clearly not so hot anymore.



Week in, week out, the supposed to be hot show brings us documentaries, i tell you even Vuyelwa Booi of Speak Out does more investigating than lady Patta. It’s either she changes the course of the show or she will need to change the name... Maybe even call it The Debora Patta Show. I mean, it doesn’t deserve to be mentioned in the same category as “Special Assignment”, “Carte Blanche”, not even “Cutting Edge”.

Anyway, back to tabloid news. A few weeks ago, Monday World was happy to support Pearl Nkuna, the lady who was said to be double-crossing soccer players. Well... Pearl made the papers again and this time coz she has taken the game to a whole new level. Apparently she had the boils (yes, boils) to say to Lerato Kganyago, who is said to be dating one of the soccer players, that the guy has a small totolozi. The paper leaves the story open-ended and i guess some of us can only assume how it went.



Lerato’s response was that Pearl’s tweet was “nonsense”, and she told her she’s older than her. My question is, do older women prefer smaller units? #imjusasking. I understand that she might’ve been tryina be all mature about the whole thing, but me, reading between the lines, I conclude that there is a possibility that the unity could be of a smaller size. But you know mos what they say, better quality than quantity.

Talking about quantity, what is this about Mzwakhe Mbuli’s wife telling the world that her husband suffers from delayed erection? Bathong! Kanti how far does respect go? Poor man. So what if his “main switch” goes up in slow motion? “im coming..coming..ming...ing...”kwakwest. Lord forgive me for speak like this about adults. “Im up....up...up...p..p” kwaaaa. I can’t help it. #dead

We also owe Minister Mbalula a bigups on the razzmatazzed awards ceremony. Lets admit it, we've never seen it done the way he did. Also, it seems the Minister of Sport didn’t just invite international folk to crowd his awards – he had ulterior motives. heheh – it turns out he has given the lovely Brandy a Zulu name. She went back to the States as Mbalenhle Norwood. I guess Vivica A Fox can also happily call herself Nongcondo.

On another note, Monday World brings you the new kid in the block of printed t-shirts. We all know how the # sign has revolutionised the world of conversation right? Everyone is hashtagging all over social networks.

Well... we have thought of putting it on a t-shirt and we think it’s the coolest thing since popcorn.

hashtag4

It doesn’t matter what you’re saying... put a Hashtag (#) first and your statement takes a whole new meaning. (yes, this is an advertorial.lol)

The t-shirts come in different sizes and colours and to get your one, contact me at:

Phone: 0730417524
Email: hashtag@live.co.za
Facebook: HashTag Tees
Twitter: @HashTagSA

Cost R200 including postage.

Have a good week, people...and do download Hlokoloza. LOL

PICS: Don't ask



27 Comments

carino
29 Aug 2011 14:53

Sana Lwam
29 Aug 2011 15:09

finally *sips rooibos tea*

Mokema
29 Aug 2011 15:17

@ Carino people r busy outside while we r sitted, Carol yena hai 

As 4 Mzwakhe's wife u r a fool but al i can say is, u r not doin it 4 him sesi.

monchooza
29 Aug 2011 15:26

yah noh carino your instalment of Monday World..hlekisad me baie..
as for Authur..sometimes i get tempted to tell him to have rekerless sex with Chomee so that he can have a bambibo that will take most of his time. he is forever tweeting (nonsense)

Lex
29 Aug 2011 15:28

he-he-he,small totolozi. kwaaaaa!

carino
29 Aug 2011 15:29

Now looking at what Mokema is saying about Mzwakhe's wife...its really embarrassing. More like the fire screaming that the water can't boil.

Toodecent
29 Aug 2011 15:31

I love me some #HashTag they funky.

ms.tebby
29 Aug 2011 15:39


which of those brothers is Luthando & which one is Ntobeko?

Vandimerwe
29 Aug 2011 15:53

babye
29 Aug 2011 15:57

huh  Carol o rata bo Mrepa big time hey and young boys... 
i always picture her le A white rich man - Blatter type.... 

ms.tebby
29 Aug 2011 15:59


mara Carol Manana appeared on Drum sometime last year ka new love ba kopaneng di robotong...another new love? hayi! she must stop telling before we lose count!



Tshd21
29 Aug 2011 16:09

Who is using Hashtag ko Facebook Carino, since you are advertising for him/her? I declined the friend request, don't do people with no names or surnames

monchooza
29 Aug 2011 16:25

lol at Tshd21...

carino
29 Aug 2011 16:26

LOL @ Tshd26. It's me.

ohSoHeavenly
29 Aug 2011 16:40

im coming..coming..ming...ing...”kwakwest. Lord forgive me for speak like this about adults. “Im up....up...up...p..p” kwaaaa. I can’t help it. #dead
hahahahahahahahahaha... DEAD!!!! this is so wrong, why bring the bedroom to the public... eish inhlonipho ayisekho.... tl tl tl tl tl tl tl tl Sorry bhut' Mzwakhe

Tshd21
29 Aug 2011 16:45

LOL @ Carino ,and I'm still Tshd21 shem tl tl tl tl

VusiK
29 Aug 2011 17:19

Yah ... Neh .... Yesterdays news is women Totolozing about Totolozies ... Small and nothings, slows and cummings ... I meant Up-Comings .... It was like reading porn in very slow motion .... Goooooooooiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnggggg Up Mr Mbuli? and Mr Soccer player pulling up to Macdonalds to order .... "Would you like that supersized sir? ... Yes Please .... I hear there are creams and gadgets and secret weapon tricks that could have helped the women avoid their embarrassing themselves on my not-so-favourite Sunday morning paper. I did like the Admins at Swetan Live telling Bloggers to clean their act though ... purge the accounts and start over ... I Like!!!

Vesa
30 Aug 2011 08:24

Soon we'll be getting Monday world ka Friday? Lemme go read

princess1
30 Aug 2011 09:07

Rebecca must leave stand up comedy to the comedians & stick to crying & crawling.

Mzwakhe ene ba mo laile, he said his wife ke moloi akere.

mara Carol Manana appeared on Drum sometime last year ka new love ba kopaneng di robotong...another new love? hayi! she must stop telling before we lose count! 

I also remember the robot guy, Carol is blessed ka new love every year.




tshwane
30 Aug 2011 09:47

Carol and the robot guy who loved her kids and went on holidays together. Now another one. Please let this lady be interviewed to hear her side of the story (esp. new love or lovers).

@ Vesa......o naughty LOL

zam.ngcobo
30 Aug 2011 10:46

Rebecca must leave stand up comedy to the comedians & stick to crying & crawling  Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

pkpage
30 Aug 2011 12:51

I must admit 1st to not reading the whole thing. But I must say that on the Carol issue. The boy is not 23 years and he's not a rapper! From what I know, He's a 25 year old artist manager.

andi01
30 Aug 2011 14:19

As for Carol she need to calm she is still young for her to go the coogar way. The way she is changing men - @ Cheesa- I think its the men changing her, not the other way round. LOL. As for Mzwakhe Mbuli (my mentor)- thats whta you get for cheating and leaving with trash instead of making things work with a good woman.

Pinkpoodle
30 Aug 2011 14:52

Sis Ribs needs Nonhle to tell her to sit down and Vivica to tell to get off stage WT?? She must calm and stick to what she does best.

And Chante moore to tell her shoosh !! lol!!

myname
31 Aug 2011 14:25

I guess Vivica A Fox can also happily call herself Nongcondo.

I second that ....... Plus her legs need a serious petroleum jelly that one ekwi yellow bucket. 

Your article is hilarious Carino. 

Who the hell is Pearl Nkuna and what's her claim to the celebrity circle?

pkpage
02 Sep 2011 12:46

She can also do whatever she wants as long as she is not breaking any law. And right now she is exercising her right! If she is happy with him that's good enough.

pkpage
02 Sep 2011 14:15

She can also do whatever she wants as long as she is not breaking any law. And right now she is exercising her right! If she is happy with him that's good enough.


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