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Review: Jupiter Ascending

Written by tha - bang from the blog Movies and Things with Thabang on 11 Feb 2015
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Today, I bet you will find it hard to find anyone who has not see the original Matrix movie by the Wachowski siblings, no longer brothers since Larry had a sex change and is now Lana, so how does Jupiter Ascending stack up to their classic? Let’s dig in ...



Jupiter Ascending is basically a Cinderella story set as a space opera. With the ever sassy Mia Kunis as our Cinderella and Channing Tatum as the prince charming aka half wolf aka spaceman. Unfortunately this role does not exploit Kunis' sassiness but gives us tropes and gender messaging from 1904. So if you are into damsel in distress tales then this is for you if not, stay away.


 
'Cause like the fairy tale of Cinderella, Jupiter Ascending does not cover itself with progressive ideas . Mia Kunis' character has no drive, no motivation to do anything and is the most naïve character put to screen since Timothy the turtle on Kideo.
 


You’d think the guys behind the Matrix and Cloud Atlas would give this female lead story some substance. Instead the only thing she wants close to any form of self actualization is to be loved by Channing. I guess a lot of ladies won't find anything wrong with getting some love from Channing but watching a movie where the main character is a damsel who needs constant rescuing and can't think for herself or have her own journey outside from sucking face with Channing is very dull.
 
Remember how even when Neo just wanted to suck face with Trinity, he also wanted to rescue Morpheus and was learning more about himself and what he could do. Well Mia's Jupiter has no great quest of her own, no discovery of special abilities or her own capabilities.


 
Jupiter Ascending is a case of a bad movie happening to a heap of good actors. Channing Tatum really puts it out there, bear chested and all but the material is beyond pulpy. Poor Eddie Redmayne - soon to be seen in The Theory of Everything as Stephen Hawking - plays a very camp one dimensional villian and he does his best but alas the material is poor. There’s no nuance or complexity here.
 


The one thing that the Wachowski’s still have, credited as co-directors and writers, is a flare for visual effects. They are able to make the VFX fit well into the world and create cool action sequences but that’s the only thing this film offers. Okay some of the costumes are really neat but that’s it.
 
Besides that, the story is pedestrian, the drama almost lacking and Mia’s character infuriating in her sheepishness. We have the Wachowski’s  to thank.

Maybe their first ever PG 13 film rating was a failed attempt at pandering to the young market by omitting some of their strengths which is mostly marrying high concept ideas/ philosophy with popular filmmaking techniques. A la The Matrix and Cloud Atlas.

It’s like they took out anything that will need brain processing and just left the stuff that make these type of blockbusters crappy - weak story, even weaker character and plenty of skop, skiet and donner.
 
One wonders if we shall ever see them eclipse what they did in The Matrix or are they destined to end up like M. Night Shyamalan. Yep this movie is that bad.
 
Rating *
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
index 
* Junk **Almost bearable ***Now we cooking **** Almost perfect ***** Classic
 
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
 



5 Comments

Tashi
11 Feb 2015 16:05

Sounds terrible - gonna avoid it like the plague! You'd think that with Larry becoming Lana she'd be very sensitive to empowering women as much as possible.

Ingenuity
12 Feb 2015 10:29

I know most critics panned the movie cos the release was pushed back a few times. I watched the movie, the storyline was meh, Douglas Booth is hot, like butter wouldn't melt in his mouth. Eddie should have been given more to do, I realy don't understand what the sister's role was there. They could have cut her out and focussed more on the brothers. The damsel in distress part really ground on my nipples.

Visually, the film is starting, the short of Jupiter (not Mila's character but the planet itself was breathtaking). Both Eddie and Mila were under-utilised. Douglas stole every scene he was in.
The suggestion out there is that instead of writing, producing and directing, the Wachowskis should rather direct someone's story.

tha - bang
12 Feb 2015 11:38

@Tashi i was massively disappointed, youd think that larry sex change would create some interesting naunces for the female character, the film is a fail.

@ingennuity honestly by the film ended i was like what was the whole point? theyve already adapted someone elses story in Cloud Atlas, i think they just need to reigned in a bit.the big budgets are not helping them.i hope JJ Abrams watches this as an instruction on what not to do

wonderlad
16 Feb 2015 12:03

Hmm just saw this on Friday - yes it was flimsy - but I don't think any worse than the likes of Guardians of the Galaxy (which I thought was hugely overrated). My expectations were not that high because I do not idolize the Wachowski's that much. From his agility and moves here though I think Channing Tatum might pull off the X-Men's Gambit alright next year. Not a big Mila Kunis fan either - thought she did ok with the materual she was given. Sean Bean was cool in his limited role. And the villainous family were interesting - big fan of Eddie Redmayne here.

tha - bang
19 Feb 2015 08:54

Hey Guardians of the galaxy was a bottle of fun in the same as the indiana jones flicks,this could not even claim that it was not trying to take itself seriously. the wachowski may just have kissed big budget films goodbye with this whilst Guardian defineatly has a brighter future


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