EPISODE THREEHow's Brianna for being the splitting image of Katie Holmes? Her voice is a year or two more older sounding but other than that they're identical - the one as powerless as the other over their destiny.
Yet again the predictable "Oh, I tried my best lounging around doing zilch" reared it's uggers head with the only difference being that I currently don't know what's worse - this or the desperate, mad overdoing the Lydia midget's got going on.
Together with her incessant grinning, her eyebrows are seriously creeping me out. Not the actual boomerang shape of them but the fact that they're exactly the same as Stephenie's.
There's just noo ways you get those types of brows without some utlra tweaking going on which means Lydia must know they're the same. There's defs truth to what Katie said about her not looking her in the peepers when she was speaking to her.
This is how it all started, with Lydia desperately trying to impress Yaxha into thinking she's not a total loser while everyone sat around doing nothing. Over at Nakum the killer 114-heat got the better of everyone except Cindy who refused to join in for a dip in the alligator pool.
I've never known that there's a difference between crocs and gators - like I always thought they were just different words for the same thing. Funny how they are actually but everyone's just chosen to make them so much more complicated.
In between all this Brandon decided he was gonna risk a chomp to be cool and delivered the best line of any Survivor season ever when he said:
"The brave may not live long, but the cautious don't live at all."
It's just soo incredibly wow isn't it? I mean, it's true, what's the point of living forever if everything's just so yawnily samey and safe during all the extra time?
It's what I think when I'm in a plane and it gets iffy, bumping all over the place. The last time I imagined I was in a scene from Lost and got very radical calling out to the plane, the clouds and anyone who would listen: "Bring it
on you Pigs. Take it down. Put me in the middle of Lost!" It's incredible how fearless it made me and also - it didn't happen - which I was relieved about obviously.
Brandon really is the strangest character ever with his oddball century hat that suits him so perfectly. Like someone could wear it and it would seem they're doing it for effect, yet with him it's as if he was born with it.
He also didn't get involved in badmouthing Margaret about putting up the tent I noticed.
After all the croc swimming the tribes were tree-mailed to their Reward Challenge which involved putting up an archeologists tent, mostly blindfolded.
Yaxha were way in the lead with gathering their implements but lost the plot when it came to erecting it giving the win to Nukem who got blankets and things to build a tent of their own.
When they got back to their camp Margaret kept telling everyone how to put the shelter together, Judd the Crudd got aggro, as did Bobby-Jon, saying he was 28 and didn't need a mother - but Brandon didn't have anything anti-her to say.
Not that she doesn't deserve it - it's totally pathetic getting so judgmental of everyone when you're not doing anything to get involved yourself, but still, I thought it was very chivalrous of Brandon - espesh with it being such short supply.
The worst out of everyone is slitty-eyed Jamie when he was talking about Brianna and saying that he likes his girls crazy and pretty - as if he's made of the stuff that would attract them. Puhlease.
Out of them all he's my most loathed by far - the way he put his hand in front of Brian's mouth to show he was spitting - when Brian was trying to encourage everyone - it was just such a nasty thing to do.
Speaking of Brian - what's up with everyone referring to Rafe as they gay dude but not him? I just don't get why everyone's ignored that he is but goes on and on about Rafe.
And - what's up with Danni having the crappest war paint design on her mug when she's the only one out of everyone who does it regularly for games in real life?
After Nukem put up their new shelter everyone went to the Immunity Challenge where they had to play a cool Maya'ian game called Court Ball. They all got jazzed up with war paint, everyone went mad with it, except Danni who only two black splotches on her cheeks and a yellow tattoo-type design on her back - beneath her extra ribs.
I'm convinced she's got more ribs than any normal peep - how else does anyone get such looong middle part to them? The way she was able to play the game was incredible, literally reaching the goals things without even having to jump.
Not even Gary could save Yaxha from how awesome she was on the court - which is probably why Brianna gave up and didn't bother moving. For a fraction of a milli-milli second I uncomfortably agreed with Jamie when he told her to get it together and hustle but the truth is she really didn't have a chance against Danni.
Danni also inspired the most cringe-wrthy behaviour in all them - Lydia's desperate bouncing sprint with the ball, refusing to listen to Jeff's instructions to stop, Jamie's Monkey Boy roar and more pain to Amy's ankle.
I really feel sorry for her that it's happened 'cos I like her. I enjoy that she's a policeman who's eaten too many doughnuts but who's clearly totally committed to her duty. I also like how she doesn't have issues with anyone or herself. She's aggitated at her ankle but other than that what you see is what you get in her yellowey, gross-out clothing.
There's no ways they could have forced her to stick needles in her eyes by voting her out and if things don't improve for Yaxha and they have to choose again - I hope they'll choose to whack Lydia or way better, Jamie, first.
It's hysterical because it's three episodes in and without realising it properly the loathing has really slithered in as evilly as the snake whizzing across the voting thing at Tribal Council at the end.
Was it just me or did the fauna and flora in the different shots seem to have ultra amounts of personality? Like that King Kong who wouldn't leave Judd alone at the beginning! - there couldn't have been anyone more appropriate for it's screams to drive crazy. Hopefully it's there to stay and drives him maaad.