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Goodbye To Golden Boy

Written by Tashi from the blog Tashi's Survivor Guatemala on 17 May 2006
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eps05EPISODE FIVE:

That was the best episode of the series so far most definitely. Every single thing that I wanted to happen did and by the end I was in such a good mood my eyes drooped happily and I drifted off into a chilled, peaceful sleep. Sort of like you would on that awesome deck round Yaxha’s gimme gimme gimme pool .

How wow is it? It’s the best reward out of all rewards from all seasons and is also so cunning in how it gives you the cave diving experience at the same time.

I couldn’t have been happier when Yaxha won it and the way they won by humiliating Jamie more than any Survivor ever was just too faboo for words – made more so by sweet Brandon being responsible.

Before leaving for their best Reward Challenge, Survivors lazed around as per usual with Yaxha forced to look at Blake’s ginormous choppers going on about how much he loves both himself and the double-D babes he scores – speaking of which – I just remembered Jesus!

Noo – I was devastated and chose to completely ignore that Yaxha prayed before eating. I agreed with Brian two trillion percent - it’s total rubbish that he has to pretend to be okay with to survive.

What I want to know is who’s instigated it because it couldn’t just have happened that they all suddenly decided to do it. If I remember the seating set-up properly it seemed it was Danni, which is a pity - I was just starting to kinda like her.

Over at Nakum everyone spent the first quarter of the episode complaining and whining and generally being horrible. Stephenie continued delivering her yawny one-line script about how she’s in the losing team nearly having a break-down, Margaret’s face got more scrunched than a scrunchy thing, Judd looked more like a bar thug – except without the brains – and Rafe giggled nervously in between.

Everyone got called to their reward in this state, got margaritas and their instructions before their soul refreshing prize was revealed.

In keeping with the excellence of it, the actual task itself was brilliant too involving them releasing a roller coaster cart and whizzing down a cool track. I loved all the bits and pieces that went with it - the wooden wheels and the dip at the point they took off from particularly.

The best was that Nukem didn’t get to experience even a moment of it. Jamie was just soo pathetic he couldn’t have been better entertainment – espesh when he said they weren’t finished and wanted them to carry on once the task was over.

It wasn’t nearly as bad as the way roared like a lunatic when Nakum won the Imminity Challenge though. I honestly don’t understand how anyone could be prepared to look like such a total arsehole.

As for Lydia – don’t get me started. When it comes to her I’m Brianna because she drives me up the wall to the extent that it was impossible to have even a smidgen of a chortle at her antics to cheer everyone up. Instead my eyes madly rolled uncontrollably each time one of them joined in by laughing at her. Can you please explain – am I alone in not finding her funny? Were they really so uplifted by her that it caused them to win the challenge?

I honestly don’t see that it’s possible and reckon Yaxha wanted them to win knowing they’d had enough of Blake and decided to just have fun catapulting instead.

The apparatus they got for this was super too – the creaking sound that slingshot made as they turned it made me want to try it big time. The actual slinging of the shot looked cool to do too – except for when Lydia did it thinking it was all because of her Nakum got it so right.

The way they lifted her up and told her get the Idol was too much to cope with in exactly the same way as when they laughed at her. I’m convinced they were laughing and praising her more out of feeling sorry for her than respect as a result of her being such a doormat.

After Nakum’s celebrations and Yaxha’s slo-poke walk back to their camp to decide who to vote out they all plotted what they were going to do. Gary, Amy and Brian assumed they’d be targeted first, discussed that they needed to convince an old Nakum member to be on their side and successfully did it in two seconds of speaking to Danni.

Unable to take any more of Blake she agreed to vote him out, Gary spoke to BJ who adamantly said he wouldn’t change his mind about getting rid of Brian instead but did when he ended up voting for Blake too.

As he said there are times when you need to vote for strategy and times where someone’s so ridiculous you’re doing everyone the biggest favour getting rid of them.

The only member of Yaxha not to turn on Blake was Brandon which didn’t make any difference and suits the flakey scarecrow that is him perfectly.

Hopefully everyone will understand and won’t target him if they lose Immunity next week – which they can’t do. This week was fine but next week Nukem has to be forced to vote.

What’s really interesting about what’s happening is how much each of them feels about everything – their tribes in particular. This seemed to be why Bobby Jon and Danni decided to go with Blake so quickly because they’re genuinely feeling more about their current tribes than their previous ones. This isn’t something that regularly happens and from the looks of things in the trailer it’s going to effect Bobby Jon and the Jamie Pig in hysterical ways next week.

Seeing what’s going on around it is gonna be excellent too – particularly Amy getting crushed by that big ball thing and liking her and feeling sad about it, but loving every moment.



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 Contestant Bios


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