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Nakum Nukes Brandon The Biscuit

Written by Tashi from the blog Tashi's Survivor Guatemala on 07 Jun 2006
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eps08EPISODE 8

I’m devastated. It’s like the ultimate Guatemalan Star Wars is happening with the darkest of dark Vader forces annihilating good in ways that are too much to cope with.

It all reminds me of one of my fave lines from Star Wars where Princess Amidallah is at one of those Jedi Council meetings, a decree gets passed that means everyone’s going to be subject to a certain horrible law, everyone at the meeting is clapping their support for it and Princess Amidallah says: “So, this is how liberty dies - to thunderous applause.”

I can’t believe anyone could see a million bucks as being more important than saving a sexy, pecked, sweet scarecrow like Brandon in the face of such an ultimate Pig enemy.

Whatever it takes to play Survivor I reckon I don’t have it - no matter what the numbers where, if I was in a situation where I had to choose between Brandon and Jamie’s cruel, helldog Nakum, it would just kill me to take their side and give them the satisfaction of winning.

I was pretty much 100% convinced that Rafe and Cindy had decided to change their minds to vote with Yahxa and when they didn’t and cast their votes for Brandon I didn’t understand anything and ended up feeling the same way as Danni.

The build-up to Brandon’s nasty wipe-out by Nakum started from the very first moment Yaxha arrived at their camp to let them know the merge had happened.

Yahxa arrived, accepted their fate as Nukem’s prisoners and didn’t mutter a word nor get into a rage when Nakum sat around smugly getting fat. Bobby-Jon, Gary, Brandon and Danni went off to gather fish in between half-heartedly creating a new name and flag while suffering Lydia who took charge of naming the new tribe and designing the flag - loving every moment of the loathing happening around her.

Since the start she’s annoyed me like you cannot believe and when I saw she’d put her name right in the middle of the new flag, directly underneath their new stupid Xhamuk name I was livid. And then when she decided she’d rather - as Jeff so purfectly put it - “fill her belly” instead of take part in the Immunity Challenge I couldn’t even look at her while she ate and watched on.

She’s done nothing during the entire thing except be the person to scanive out of challenges and yet she’s right there in the thick of things, safely tucked up in the pit of Pigs, pleased as punch about every aspect of it, voting against Brandon – without even thinking about being on his side.

As horrible as Jamie and Judd are, at least they’re honest about how appalling they are whereas Lydia hasn’t asserted herself honestly once – yet she has the cheek to put her name in the centre of the flag as if she’s the star of the show!

After hanging the flag and swimming, a message arrived which everyone thought would be for the Reward Challenge. Instead it was a most excellent notice about there being a hidden Immunity Idol somewhere/anywhere on the island with these rules attached:

- If one of them finds it it can provide them with immunity at any of the Tribal Council’s up until there are four of them of left.
- Whoever finds it doesn’t need to tell anyone else that they have it until they decide to present it to save themselves.

Everyone went about searching for it desperately but unfortunately none of them went institutionally crazy, realising that they could if they allowed themselves to. I was hoping it would happen to the two J’s and was very disappointed when they got cautious and stopped looking.

Luckily there was some slight satisfaction in Rafe getting stung by all the hornet’s without finding it – which he deserved for yet again refusing to stand up for what he believes in.

The way he’s constantly going on about how much he doesn’t want to be on the side of devils and then supports everything they do doesn’t impress me at all. No matter how many times he says it, nor how droopy his eyes get – I have no respect for him not even trying to do something to stand up to them.

Also, he chose to carry on eating when he was supposedly so uncomfortable with everything and if he was sincere about his discomfort he would have stopped.

After searching for the idol a bit everyone got called to their Immunity Challenge where they were given a choice between balancing a pot on their heads for Immunity or having a feast. Everyone else did the challenge while Lydia, Stephenie, Rafe and Jamie chose to eat, deciding they were far enough up each others arses not to be voted off.

Never before in the history of forever have I begrudged people guzzling food the way I did the four of them. Judd and Cindy got a few plus points for choosing not to be part of it by trying for Immunity instead – which only lasted for the moments during it happening it obviously and I was delighted when a Yaxha won Immunity.

I would have preferred it to have been Brandon but was happy enough that it was Hoog who’s determined attempts to convince Cindy and Rafe to do the right thing when they got back to camp were excellent too.

While Gary worked the two of them Bobby-Jon toothily tried to work Judd and Stephenie into voting against Jamie  – which they hinted they might do, but didn’t.

I don’t understand what the strong bond is between them nor why Stephenie’s such a loyal part of it. The worst about her is that nasty “I’m so sorted and think everyone else is stupid ” grin that she’s developed for everything, in between making as if she isn't evil when she is.

She couldn’t be more of a disappointment – speaking of which – Jeff  – hehe – he was divine. At Tribal Council, shaking his head as if he’d never experienced anything as sad in his life. The best is that isn’t an exaggeration - I don’t reckon he has. This has to be one of the most cutthroat and dirty seasons of the show ever which is directly reflected in all of their gross-out clothes too.

They're all so cruddily caked with unimaginable matter and their scabby legs give the same feeling – like Jamie’s - why are they so pulpily pasty? You’d think with all the sun they’d all least look a bit tanned.

I don’t get how they can constantly be swimming not be fresh and clean. As for what’s gonna happen next week when Judd pukes in their shelter – it’s gonna be so not surprising and will serve them all right.

Complaints from any of them about either Jamie or Judd mean nothing – except for from Hoog, Danni and Bobby-Jon of course. I’m very stressed about what’ll happen with them. Do you think it’s the end for them? It can’t be surely. If things go according to what Nakum have planned then it’s Bobby-Jon next but it just can’t end up being an annihilation like this.

Something to has to change because if it doesn’t it’s all too unfair to be real.

Then again, perhaps it’s simply a mirror of the way things really are.

Noo, nooo – I won’t think that way and will rather think of the Biscuit lounging in the sun, with a piece of straw between his slurpy lips, pondering how cool the million bucks would have been - but not minding that he hasn’t won.



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 Contestant Bios


Amy Gary
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Brandon Judd
Brian Lydia
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Cindy Rafe
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